Tipping Etiquette

[Ye Olde Boomer]

YOB, my grief with tipping, or should I say service charge is it is now accepted that there will be a service charge, whether the service is rammel or very good. Again a service charge is usually a percentage of the total meal. Why? A steak costs £20 and a chip butty costs £5. The waiter still does the same amount of trips to the table but you pay more for the steak delivery. Why? I get a lift to the restaurant on a bus. Do I tip the driver.
I don’t mind tipping if the service is good but for it to be Accepted that it’s the norm that a percentage of your meal cost is topping up the bill has never been right in my eyes.

Not a problem. It's a culture difference.
Your own mates will look at you askew if you don't tip properly in America.
It's not that way in most of the world, however.

 

[KenL]

I used to travel to the US a lot.
On possibly my first trip I had a wait for my next flight, was either JFK or Chicago. I bought a beer at the airport bar. All the waitress did was walk a few feet carrying a bottle and removed the top.
When I asked for my bill, she dropped the receipt in front of me, got out her stamp and banged it with the message “gratuity not included”. I found this very rude and did not leave a tip.
Good service does deserve a tip and I will leave one unless the service or food is poor.

 

[Tashyboy]

Not a problem. It's a culture difference.
Your own mates will look at you askew if you don't tip properly in America.
It's not that way in most of the world, however.

What I will say is that personally I think service in the UK is poor compared to Europe and predominantly a lot of worldwide travel we have done. It seems to me that when abroad waiters and waitresses seem better trained and have a bit more pride in there career

 

[D-S]

When we were in Naples, Florida earlier this year and paying by card the ‘suggested gratuity’ box on the card machine always had 22%, 26% or 30% on it. Always looked like they were either trying to guilt you into tipping, in my terms, too much.
Just pay them a decent wage (include it in the bill) and I will pay for ‘above and beyond’.

 

[pendodave]

Not a problem. It's a culture difference.

Seems to me that it's more like a tax dodge.
It's essentially the separation of goods and labour in the purchase price.
So :
sales tax on the labour?
employers' taxes on the labour?
employee taxes on the labour?
Which is great if you don't want to fund any infrastructure or services paid for by tax I guess.

 

[nickjdavis]

YOB, my grief with tipping, or should I say service charge is it is now accepted that there will be a service charge, whether the service is rammel or very good. Again a service charge is usually a percentage of the total meal. Why? A steak costs £20 and a chip butty costs £5. The waiter still does the same amount of trips to the table but you pay more for the steak delivery. Why? I get a lift to the restaurant on a bus. Do I tip the driver.
I don’t mind tipping if the service is good but for it to be Accepted that it’s the norm that a percentage of your meal cost is topping up the bill has never been right in my eyes.

PS, a PP was telling me that his Missis had an afternoon Tea up the Shard with their daughter. They asked for half the sandwiches to not have butter on them. They all arrived with butter. They asked for a glass of water. It never came. At the end the bill came with a hefty service charge. Basically they said “ we’re not paying it” the manager was called over and he asked why. Again he was not impressed. She said “ if you paid as much attention to service as you did the complaint there would be no problems. They got poor service and yet they were expected to tip.

I agree with the above. I refuse to accept service charges when presented to me.

If a restaurant does not make it clear when i sit down that a service charges will be added then i will simply refuse to pay it. If they tell me that a service charge is included then I ask for their justification and if I'm not satisfied then i will not pay it (i may still tip, based on the service that I've received...but I will not part with my money simply because someone has seen fit to add an arbitrary amount to my bill...a tip/gratuity needs to be earned).

At the end of the day any "tip" that i may wish to pay on top of my meal is discretionary....at MY discretion, no one elses . Also I do not tip a %age of my bill. If I happen to rack up a bill of several hundred pounds, maybe due to the purchase of a few bottle of fine wine alongside my dinner, why should that force me to pay a bigger tip than if I drank water all evening? If I have a burger or if I have fillet steak...the service I receive should be the same in both cases....and it is the service that will be appreciated with an appropriate tip.

I realise that, in certain regions, waiting staff are paid a bare minimum and the culture is that the customer helps by paying a tip....but really the customer should not be responsible for ensuring that the waiting/kitchen staff are able to earn a "living wage".

 

[KenL]

I agree with the above. I refuse to accept service charges when presented to me.

If a restaurant does not make it clear when i sit down that a service charges will be added then i will simply refuse to pay it. If they tell me that a service charge is included then I ask for their justification and if I'm not satisfied then i will not pay it (i may still tip, based on the service that I've received...but I will not part with my money simply because someone has seen fit to add an arbitrary amount to my bill...a tip/gratuity needs to be earned).

At the end of the day any "tip" that i may wish to pay on top of my meal is discretionary....at MY discretion, no one elses . Also I do not tip a %age of my bill. If I happen to rack up a bill of several hundred pounds, maybe due to the purchase of a few bottle of fine wine alongside my dinner, why should that force me to pay a bigger tip than if I drank water all evening? If I have a burger or if I have fillet steak...the service I receive should be the same in both cases....and it is the service that will be appreciated with an appropriate tip.

I realise that, in certain regions, waiting staff are paid a bare minimum and the culture is that the customer helps by paying a tip....but really the customer should not be responsible for ensuring that the waiting/kitchen staff are able to earn a "living wage".

Happy to be absolutely robbed by wine prices in restaurants to line the owner’s pocket but reluctant to reward good food and service, I don’t understand that at all.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

What I will say is that personally I think service in the UK is poor compared to Europe and predominantly a lot of worldwide travel we have done. It seems to me that when abroad waiters and waitresses seem better trained and have a bit more pride in there career

Many years ago, as a student, I worked as a waiter in a posh restaurant in the evenings. The waiting staff came from France, Portugal, Italy, Spain and a small smattering of English. One of the things I picked up was that the overseas staff saw the job as a career, ideally one day leading to their own small restaurant / cafe. Being a waiter in the UK is not viewed in the same way. Different attitude leading to a different way of working, training, pride in the job etc. Obviously, a bit of a generalisation but I don't think it's a long way off.

Personally, I don't want a waiter fussing over me. A good waiter, to me, is largely invisible but available when required. It is how I was taught and it hasn't left me. Being asked repeatedly if everything is okay, do I want anything else, just puts me off, it isn't relaxing

 

[Voyager EMH]

Tipping in the 21st century - we really should have eradicated it by now.
It perpetuates low wages.
It is a tax dodge.
It is anachronistic in terms of servant class workers.

A decent and proper wage for the work being done - that is what I would like to see.

I've never tipped a doctor, nurse, lawyer, car mechanic, etc, but often been very impressed by the service.
I see no reason - and I really and truly mean no reason - why catering staff should be any different. They don't need tips - well they do - because what they need is higher wages.

Professional class and servant class - that is the distinction that I see as the problem that should disappear. If you work and earn a wage - there should be no such distinction.
I do tip in restaurants and cafes, because it would be considered mean not to, but I see myself as equal to those workers.

 

[Fade and Die]

Tipping in the 21st century - we really should have eradicated it by now.
It perpetuates low wages.
It is a tax dodge.
It is anachronistic in terms of servant class workers.

A decent and proper wage for the work being done - that is what I would like to see.

I've never tipped a doctor, nurse, lawyer, car mechanic, etc, but often been very impressed by the service.
I see no reason - and I really and truly mean no reason - why catering staff should be any different. They don't need tips - well they do - because what they need is higher wages.

Professional class and servant class - that is the distinction that I see as the problem that should disappear. If you work and earn a wage - there should be no such distinction.
I do tip in restaurants and cafes, because it would be considered mean not to, but I see myself as equal to those workers.

I don’t see why you would be suffering with Class Anxiety just through leaving a tip, it’s not demeaning and it can help people on not much money.

I find I only tip if it’s a cash transaction, so black cabs, (not Uber) the barbers and waiting staff, although even if I have not got cash and am eating out I will tip good service, it makes a huge difference to your meal enjoyment.

 

[PJ87]

I don’t see why you would be suffering with Class Anxiety just through leaving a tip, it’s not demeaning and it can help people on not much money.

I find I only tip if it’s a cash transaction, so black cabs, (not Uber) the barbers and waiting staff, although even if I have not got cash and am eating out I will tip good service, it makes a huge difference to your meal enjoyment.

You wouldn't tip an Uber? They make a lot lot less than a black cab

 

[Fade and Die]

You wouldn't tip an Uber? They make a lot lot less than a black cab

Yeah I’m not sure why, I just always seem to automatically tip a black cab, maybe it’s the cash thing?

 

[PJ87]

Yeah I’m not sure why, I just always seem to automatically tip a black cab, maybe it’s the cash thing?

Maybe, I'd tip an Uber driver on the app afters if they do a good job

 

[Voyager EMH]

I don’t see why you would be suffering with Class Anxiety just through leaving a tip, it’s not demeaning and it can help people on not much money.

I find I only tip if it’s a cash transaction, so black cabs, (not Uber) the barbers and waiting staff, although even if I have not got cash and am eating out I will tip good service, it makes a huge difference to your meal enjoyment.

I do not see myself as suffering class anxiety.
I do not not see tipping as demeaning.

I see an unnecessary distinction between those needing tips and those who do not.
That distinction remains and is perpetuated by tipping.
That could be solved with fairer wages for necessary work being done.

 

[Billysboots]

The whole tipping thing in the States really grates with me.

We were in Naples, Florida last year and visited a beach bar. There was no table service, my wife going to the bar itself to buy drinks. The bartender served the drinks and when he passed her the bill he very aggressively asked if she was leaving a tip.

I absolutely understand that there are differences in approach depending on where in the world you are, but why on earth would we tip someone who didn’t even have to walk to a table carrying drinks?

The answer was a firm yet polite no, which was not at all well received.

 

[PJ87]

The whole tipping thing in the States really grates with me.

We were in Naples, Florida last year and visited a beach bar. There was no table service, my wife going to the bar itself to buy drinks. The bartender served the drinks and when he passed her the bill he very aggressively asked if she was leaving a tip.

I absolutely understand that there are differences in approach depending on where in the world you are, but why on earth would we tip someone who didn’t even have to walk to a table carrying drinks?

The answer was a firm yet polite no, which was not at all well received.

That for me would be like tipping In KFC. Sod off lol I'd tip anywhere that has a order at the table service

If I go to the bar no tip

 

[nickjdavis]

Happy to be absolutely robbed by wine prices in restaurants to line the owner’s pocket but reluctant to reward good food and service, I don’t understand that at all.

I neither said I was happy to be robbed by wine prices, nor did I say I was reluctant to reward good food and service. I quite clearly said I would appreciate and tip good service (and by inference, good food) when it is received....and that will be on my terms, not on the basis of a pre-defined service charge.

 

[Tashyboy]

Many years ago, as a student, I worked as a waiter in a posh restaurant in the evenings. The waiting staff came from France, Portugal, Italy, Spain and a small smattering of English. One of the things I picked up was that the overseas staff saw the job as a career, ideally one day leading to their own small restaurant / cafe. Being a waiter in the UK is not viewed in the same way. Different attitude leading to a different way of working, training, pride in the job etc. Obviously, a bit of a generalisation but I don't think it's a long way off.

Personally, I don't want a waiter fussing over me. A good waiter, to me, is largely invisible but available when required. It is how I was taught and it hasn't left me. Being asked repeatedly if everything is okay, do I want anything else, just puts me off, it isn't relaxing

When me and Missis T went to Haworth, Brontë sisters county. We stayed in a B and B. The young girl was rushed off her feet. She would bring drinks, toast, breakfast to the table and walk back to the kitchen empty handed even though tables were rammed. 3 or four times over the weekend guests came down and were sat at tables with dirty plates etc on them. Breakfast times were staggered. It is an example of how the basics are just not taught. It just seems that hospitality re waitressing is not seen as important. Yet tipping and service charges are now the norm irrespective of service provided.
Going back a few years. The taxi companies around Mansfield were predominately English speaking English folk. There was always good banter between the driver and ourselves. Now they are predominantly “ foreign” drivers that struggle to put two sentences together. Car journeys are silence, so why tip.
When I went to Germany in august, the taxi driver was five minutes early. She put the bags in the boot. She took then out, she laughed and joked. She got a tip.
On the return journey. He was 15 minutes late ( at 4 in the morning). I put the bags in, I took the bags out. He spent the entire journey telling me how rubbish the money is and the job is crap. He never got a tip. Both Eastern European.
Just doing your job and sometimes poorly should not guarantee a tip

 

[Billysboots]

When me and Missis T went to Haworth, Brontë sisters county. We stayed in a B and B. The young girl was rushed off her feet. She would bring drinks, toast, breakfast to the table and walk back to the kitchen empty handed even though tables were rammed. 3 or four times over the weekend guests came down and were sat at tables with dirty plates etc on them. Breakfast times were staggered. It is an example of how the basics are just not taught. It just seems that hospitality re waitressing is not seen as important. Yet tipping and service charges are now the norm irrespective of service provided.
Going back a few years. The taxi companies around Mansfield were predominately English speaking English folk. There was always good banter between the driver and ourselves. Now they are predominantly “ foreign” drivers that struggle to put two sentences together. Car journeys are silence, so why tip.
When I went to Germany in august, the taxi driver was five minutes early. She put the bags in the boot. She took then out, she laughed and joked. She got a tip.
On the return journey. He was 15 minutes late ( at 4 in the morning). I put the bags in, I took the bags out. He spent the entire journey telling me how rubbish the money is and the job is crap. He never got a tip. Both Eastern European.
Just doing your job and sometimes poorly should not guarantee a tip

Totally agree, Tash. I tip if the service merits it. If the service isn’t up to it, no tip. It’s a subjective decision, which is absolutely as it should be.

But if I’m going to leave a tip, it absolutely should be received by the staff who have worked so hard to earn it. My daughter used to work in a local bar/restaurant, waiting tables and serving behind the bar. All of the tips used to be collected and divided pro rata between the staff at the end of the month. The more shifts you worked, the bigger the share. That at least made sure that kitchen staff, who more than do their bit, got a slice.

My son, on the other hand, used to work as a waiter at a local hotel whilst he was in college. Part of a nationwide chain, attached to a golf course, so the restaurant was always busy, with groups of golfers, guests and wedding receptions. The staff back then were told they were not allowed to keep tips in any circumstances. They were retained by the hotel, and it caused absolute uproar amongst regular visitors when the hotel proudly announced that is had recarpeted one of the banqueting suites and paid the entire cost out of tips left by customers.

As news spread of this reprehensible act, customers started discretely slipping tips into the pockets of the staff who had worked so hard to earn them. The staff then, equally discretely, shared the tips out between all those working on any given shift.

I seem to recall hearing that it is now a requirement that tips are passed on to the staff, and not retained by the business employing them. That’s absolutely as it should be, especially when so many of these staff are either young kids trying to earn a few quid, or those on a low wage.

 

[Voyager EMH]

In the UK, under normal circumstances,

If tips are given to and retained by individuals, then it is up to that individual to declare them for income tax - no national insurance is payable, normally.

If tips are pooled, then it is the responsibility of the employer, or person distributing the tips, for PAYE to apply.