The Mental Health Thread

[GB72]

Might have got it wrong, but instead of worrying about getting to 50 or 60, I’d have thought if there was anything to worry about it was about NOT getting there .!

I guess it has triggered a certain level of self reflection and I have been struggling to focus on what I have achieved as my brain wants to look at what I have not achieved over the last 50 years. Plus, the male side of my family do not tend to get much past 70 and so you start looking at your own mortality and start seeing a ticking clock. Not rational, just what it is.

 

[Imurg]

I would worry about that too, some right dodgy characters round there!!!


(let me know if you need owt!! ;-) )

Why did I instantly think of you ..?
Sounds like Mr RAC has got it going and they're in the Services having a bite and warming up.
Theyre discussing whether to go on or come home - I think that's stressing me more...?

 

[RichA]

I guess it has triggered a certain level of self reflection and I have been struggling to focus on what I have achieved as my brain wants to look at what I have not achieved over the last 50 years. Plus, the male side of my family do not tend to get much past 70 and so you start looking at your own mortality and start seeing a ticking clock. Not rational, just what it is.

I'm approaching 52.
For what it's worth, once you turn 50 everybody's expectations of you seem to suddenly lessen.
Learning not to give a **** isn't easy, but it's worth persevering for the overall MH benefits.

 

[Imurg]

I'm approaching 52.
For what it's worth, once you turn 50 everybody's expectations of you seem to suddenly lessen.
Learning not to give a **** isn't easy, but it's worth persevering for the overall MH benefits.

This, this, this....
Learn to play the Grumpy Old Man role and wallow in it....

 

[PhilTheFragger]

50 is the new 40
And 60…. That’s the new 40 too ?

 

[Imurg]

50 is the new 40
And 60…. That’s the new 40 too ?

What's 61 then..?
Asking for a friend.....

 

[PhilTheFragger]

What's 61 then..?
Asking for a friend.....

Way I’m feeling at the mo (rampant squits for 4 days) (sorry if too much info)
Then prob 61 is the new 89 ?

 

[ger147]

Tough day today.

Spent last night out on the town celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday. Had a great night and all was well with the world.

Got a phone call today, a young guy aged just 37 who I've known for a number of years and played many a game of golf with as we were members at the same golf club has taken his own life, leaving 2 kids without a dad.

Tragic...

 

[Dando]

Tough day today.

Spent last night out on the town celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday. Had a great night and all was well with the world.

Got a phone call today, a young guy aged just 37 who I've known for a number of years and played many a game of golf with as we were members at the same golf club has taken his own life, leaving 2 kids without a dad.

Tragic...

That’s awful

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Tough day today.

Spent last night out on the town celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday. Had a great night and all was well with the world.

Got a phone call today, a young guy aged just 37 who I've known for a number of years and played many a game of golf with as we were members at the same golf club has taken his own life, leaving 2 kids without a dad.

Tragic...

That’s just so grim…too many young men…?

 

[Deleted member 1740]

Tough day today.

Spent last night out on the town celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday. Had a great night and all was well with the world.

Got a phone call today, a young guy aged just 37 who I've known for a number of years and played many a game of golf with as we were members at the same golf club has taken his own life, leaving 2 kids without a dad.

Tragic...

So sorry to hear that Ger, I feel sick reading that.

 

[Mudball]

Met up with my old Univ mate of mine and his family. He is not very social and tends to wfh even before lockdown. Lovely family with 2 kids. He is on various whatsapp groups with me. He works in IT but will take ages to return any calls or WA messages. He was like that before the Internet was around, so i am used to it.

Over Christmas, his Mrs confided in mine that they have hit a rough patch and are separating in the new year. Apparently lockdown affected my friend a lot. All of them on top of each other in a small London flat. He converted their small bedroom into his office and bedroom. Progressively took up drinking during the day. Would close his bedroom door all day and stay in. Small disagreements have turned to shouting and then threw his wife out of the house one day. She had to stay over at a colleagues house. Kids are scared of him. The boy can’t wait to escape to Uni next year but the girl is about 5. Wife can’t take it anymore. She was not going to visit us but my Mrs insisted.. last social visit.

Never in the last 24 months did i suspect anything was amiss with my friend. I feel a bit angry with myself for not being there for him. Also I would not have offered him a drink when we met. Never would i have guessed that my introvert friend who is about 5 feet tall could become so mentally disturbed to take up alcohol abuse and take it out on his family … Having know him for over 3 decades, this was indeed a Sad day for me

 

[RichA]

Sad. Not your fault.

 

[Tashyboy]

Met up with my old Univ mate of mine and his family. He is not very social and tends to wfh even before lockdown. Lovely family with 2 kids. He is on various whatsapp groups with me. He works in IT but will take ages to return any calls or WA messages. He was like that before the Internet was around, so i am used to it.

Over Christmas, his Mrs confided in mine that they have hit a rough patch and are separating in the new year. Apparently lockdown affected my friend a lot. All of them on top of each other in a small London flat. He converted their small bedroom into his office and bedroom. Progressively took up drinking during the day. Would close his bedroom door all day and stay in. Small disagreements have turned to shouting and then threw his wife out of the house one day. She had to stay over at a colleagues house. Kids are scared of him. The boy can’t wait to escape to Uni next year but the girl is about 5. Wife can’t take it anymore. She was not going to visit us but my Mrs insisted.. last social visit.

Never in the last 24 months did i suspect anything was amiss with my friend. I feel a bit angry with myself for not being there for him. Also I would not have offered him a drink when we met. Never would i have guessed that my introvert friend who is about 5 feet tall could become so mentally disturbed to take up alcohol abuse and take it out on his family … Having know him for over 3 decades, this was indeed a Sad day for me

I was thinking over Xmas about starting a thread on alcohol abuse. Daughter went a funeral of her pal who died through alcohol. It really hit her. Had a few discussions re folk me and Missis T know who are seriously struggling. Having man flu stopped me broaching the subject. Sad times for folk who have a alcohol problem.

 

[Big85]

Anyone else suffer from health anxiety? Worrying you may have something life threatening? A disease, terminal illness, worrying something is wrong with you health wise?

 

[Hobbit]

Anyone else suffer from health anxiety? Worrying you may have something life threatening? A disease, terminal illness, worrying something is wrong with you health wise?

Had my 3rd heart attack 10 yrs ago. Now cancer free for 5 yrs but told it is a commonly reoccurring form of cancer. Struggling to balance the diabetes. Arthritis has virtually put an end to golf, and there’s pain every day.

I monitor BP and heart rate every day. The numbers give me some comfort. The cancer will be what it will be but I’m conscious of taking too much interest in my poo. I manage my blood glucose levels, and do extra things to keep the numbers right. And I do the right things not to exacerbate the arthritic pain.

Occasionally anxious but monitoring the numbers and being aware of the signals my body sends me helps. But yes, I do occasionally get anxious. Mindfulness helps with that too.

 

[Big85]

Had my 3rd heart attack 10 yrs ago. Now cancer free for 5 yrs but told it is a commonly reoccurring form of cancer. Struggling to balance the diabetes. Arthritis has virtually put an end to golf, and there’s pain every day.

I monitor BP and heart rate every day. The numbers give me some comfort. The cancer will be what it will be but I’m conscious of taking too much interest in my poo. I manage my blood glucose levels, and do extra things to keep the numbers right. And I do the right things not to exacerbate the arthritic pain.

Occasionally anxious but monitoring the numbers and being aware of the signals my body sends me helps. But yes, I do occasionally get anxious. Mindfulness helps with that too.

I’m really sorry to hear what you’ve been through and still going through. You have to have that positive mindset to get yourself through.

 

[Piece]

Anyone else suffer from health anxiety? Worrying you may have something life threatening? A disease, terminal illness, worrying something is wrong with you health wise?

In a word, yes. I know I've had health anxiety since I was young. I really only understood anxiety 10 or so years ago.

To be clear, health anxiety is different from health worry. Health anxiety is the irrational and inappropriate level of self-checking that leads you to convincing yourself the only conclusion is you must have a serious condition. And you constantly focus on it, risk assessing (called the "what ifs") and looking for (different) answers/reassurance, in seemingly never ending loop - the irony is that some of the body sensations are triggered by health anxiety and then self perpetuated! Health worry is the appropriate level of response to whatever symptom or condition you (may) have.

 

[Hobbit]

Opinions sought.

We have a guy in one of the local golf societies who has a volcanic temper. Towering rages and arguments - last week he exploded, mega exploded and flipped a table of drinks over because someone disagreed with him about the state of the greens. In terms of either friends or couples dropping him and his wife because of the frightening outbursts, there is a growing list. And every time someone drops him, or he drops them, he plays the victim card. His wife has a couple of friends she’s shared her concerns with, and it’s absolutely open mouthed shocking. I genuinely can’t paint the picture dark enough. As different (now) ex-friends spill their stories we see a litany of frightening situations.

Half jokingly, yesterday, I said I expect he’ll be on crime watch as an axe murderer. The reply gave me the shivers. He’d put his brother in hospital last November. I relayed the story to Mrs Hobbit, and she replied it was the 2nd time in 18 months.

On the one hand I feel the guy needs support/medical help. On the other hand I feel the guy is a real danger to those who are ever in his company. Do we use the next explosion to boot him out of the society, or do we try and manage him sympathetically. The consensus appears to be get rid before something catastrophic happens. His wife wants us to manage him sympathetically, just nod and carry on. I almost agree with her but, equally, I have very deep concerns for the safety of the society members.

Your thoughts would be most welcome…

 

[Bdill93]

Opinions sought.

We have a guy in one of the local golf societies who has a volcanic temper. Towering rages and arguments - last week he exploded, mega exploded and flipped a table of drinks over because someone disagreed with him about the state of the greens. In terms of either friends or couples dropping him and his wife because of the frightening outbursts, there is a growing list. And every time someone drops him, or he drops them, he plays the victim card. His wife has a couple of friends she’s shared her concerns with, and it’s absolutely open mouthed shocking. I genuinely can’t paint the picture dark enough. As different (now) ex-friends spill their stories we see a litany of frightening situations.

Half jokingly, yesterday, I said I expect he’ll be on crime watch as an axe murderer. The reply gave me the shivers. He’d put his brother in hospital last November. I relayed the story to Mrs Hobbit, and she replied it was the 2nd time in 18 months.

On the one hand I feel the guy needs support/medical help. On the other hand I feel the guy is a real danger to those who are ever in his company. Do we use the next explosion to boot him out of the society, or do we try and manage him sympathetically. The consensus appears to be get rid before something catastrophic happens. His wife wants us to manage him sympathetically, just nod and carry on. I almost agree with her but, equally, I have very deep concerns for the safety of the society members.

Your thoughts would be most welcome…

Id never want to be associated with a man like this, id politely let him know he's not welcome anymore - with backup, in a public place....