The Mental Health Thread

SteveW86

Head Pro
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
Messages
3,806
Location
Southampton
Visit site
Having kids definitely changes things, our daughter is 3 next week and has just had her first couple of days at nursery. i think that was harder for us as parents than it was for her, she absolutely loved it. She is now at an age where she is so much fun and you can see her charachter fully developing.

Its not without struggle though, we have had 2 miscarriages this year trying for our 2nd child. This isnt something I have really spoken about with anyone very much and something that has hit my wife harder than it as me, but a lot of our friends are now pregnant with their 2nd child so social events with them will become harder as they "show" more.
 

stefanovic

Medal Winner
Joined
Oct 21, 2016
Messages
1,613
Visit site
At age 72 this year for the first time ever I have asked for mental health help.
I've had one phone call and am due to have a face to face appointment in a few months, so I don't think I'm an urgent case.
But this is very strange.
Is this a consequence of us being in transition from human to cyborg?
Poor mental health could be the price we pay for our new technology.
I don't have a mobile phone but I am affected by this new level of noise.

I don't think anything is better for mental health than quietude and a good night's sleep.
Seeing a night sky full of stars is what our ancestors saw, but most of us today have probably never seen it.

I have tried yoga, meditation, tai chi, mindfulness. They can help but they are not a solution.
I'm informed I now need to try crystals and a Gong bath.

No, no. Just give me peace and quiet, clean air, an open road and I'm happy.
Did it yesterday with a 12 mile walk along the River Severn.
 

Dando

Q-School Graduate
Banned
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
10,613
Location
Se London
Visit site
At age 72 this year for the first time ever I have asked for mental health help.
I've had one phone call and am due to have a face to face appointment in a few months, so I don't think I'm an urgent case.
But this is very strange.
Is this a consequence of us being in transition from human to cyborg?
Poor mental health could be the price we pay for our new technology.
I don't have a mobile phone but I am affected by this new level of noise.

I don't think anything is better for mental health than quietude and a good night's sleep.
Seeing a night sky full of stars is what our ancestors saw, but most of us today have probably never seen it.

I have tried yoga, meditation, tai chi, mindfulness. They can help but they are not a solution.
I'm informed I now need to try crystals and a Gong bath.

No, no. Just give me peace and quiet, clean air, an open road and I'm happy.
Did it yesterday with a 12 mile walk along the River Severn.

if you need help then Mind are excellent - my local one runs a 24hr crisis cafe where you can pop along and chat to someone. i have used it a few times and its been really helpfull
 

Dando

Q-School Graduate
Banned
Joined
Nov 3, 2014
Messages
10,613
Location
Se London
Visit site
Having kids definitely changes things, our daughter is 3 next week and has just had her first couple of days at nursery. i think that was harder for us as parents than it was for her, she absolutely loved it. She is now at an age where she is so much fun and you can see her charachter fully developing.

Its not without struggle though, we have had 2 miscarriages this year trying for our 2nd child. This isnt something I have really spoken about with anyone very much and something that has hit my wife harder than it as me, but a lot of our friends are now pregnant with their 2nd child so social events with them will become harder as they "show" more.

sorry to hear the bad news mate.
 

Aztecs27

Money List Winner
Joined
May 26, 2010
Messages
8,068
Location
Gloucester, UK
Visit site
Having kids definitely changes things, our daughter is 3 next week and has just had her first couple of days at nursery. i think that was harder for us as parents than it was for her, she absolutely loved it. She is now at an age where she is so much fun and you can see her charachter fully developing.

Its not without struggle though, we have had 2 miscarriages this year trying for our 2nd child. This isnt something I have really spoken about with anyone very much and something that has hit my wife harder than it as me, but a lot of our friends are now pregnant with their 2nd child so social events with them will become harder as they "show" more.

Sorry to hear this mate. If you need help/support, let me know - my friend runs a miscarriage support charity (Miscarriage Mumma - but it focuses on support for both mums and dads), happy to put you in touch.

On your other point my lad started school on Tuesday - bonkers where the time has gone but I'm so proud of the little lad he's becoming. Our 6 week old daughter is the world's most terrible sleeper which means I'm really bloody tired ALL OF THE TIME - but she's so damn cute and I can't wait for her to (hopefully!) become daddy's little girl that I can hang out with and spoil.

Having kids is the beginning of the end, but it's so rewarding (and exhausting) and the best thing I've ever achieved in my life.

I still have worries and anxiety about death (it comes over me without warning, usually when I'm in the bathroom or driving, oddly enough), but it's certainly less since my kids arrived.
 

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,789
Visit site
Having kids definitely changes things, our daughter is 3 next week and has just had her first couple of days at nursery. i think that was harder for us as parents than it was for her, she absolutely loved it. She is now at an age where she is so much fun and you can see her charachter fully developing.

Its not without struggle though, we have had 2 miscarriages this year trying for our 2nd child. This isnt something I have really spoken about with anyone very much and something that has hit my wife harder than it as me, but a lot of our friends are now pregnant with their 2nd child so social events with them will become harder as they "show" more.
It’s hard to like a post without “ liking it”. If you know what I mean. This thread and dementia is the very best of this forum. Golfs brilliant but it’s the tip of our iceberg. Lots of that iceberg is buried and unseen. Talking and reading of our problems in life helps. A problem shared and all that. It shows we are not alone and it’s not a competition to see who has the biggest problems but this thread does show that talking and sharing does help. It also shows that people Do get there lives back on track. Some sooner than others.
Gutted for the tough times Your both going through and hopefully one day soon you will be having sleepless nights due to another little one waking you up.
All the best Tash.
 
Last edited:

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,789
Visit site
It’s strange typing this. Am currently sat waiting for an appointment for me dad at the dementia clinic. The demands on me and Missis T re parents kids etc at the moment are just back breaking.
But somehow we/ Team Tash just crack on. Another day without golf which is my stress relief button.
 

Orikoru

Tour Winner
Joined
Nov 1, 2016
Messages
27,712
Location
Watford
Visit site
Its not without struggle though, we have had 2 miscarriages this year trying for our 2nd child. This isnt something I have really spoken about with anyone very much and something that has hit my wife harder than it as me, but a lot of our friends are now pregnant with their 2nd child so social events with them will become harder as they "show" more.
We had one as well, earlier this year. I would not wish it upon anybody. So horrible seeing my wife go through that. They did say after a miscarriage woman are generally more fertile and have a high chance of getting pregnant again quite quickly, and we were lucky enough that that was true for us. Hopefully it will be true for you, albeit after terrible luck to go through 2 of them in a row.
 

GB72

Money List Winner
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
14,833
Location
Rutland
Visit site
It’s strange typing this. Am currently sat waiting for an appointment for me dad at the dementia clinic. The demands on me and Missis T re parents kids etc at the moment are just back breaking.
But somehow we/ Team Tash just crack on. Another day without golf which is my stress relief button.

Father in laws partner went through early onset dimentia at 52 until she finally passed away. Not something I would wish on anyone. Thoughts with you mate.
 
D

Deleted member 29109

Guest
We were lucky that our two were conceived quite easily. But we’ve good friends who struggled and suffered miscarriages. It was heartbreaking enough for us so I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through it.

Both ours were difficult labours though. The second was particularly and was touch and go for a while immediately after birth and had to be brought to by the doctors. All while the wife was losing a lot of blood. It was pretty traumatic watching the doctors work on the boy whilst another was looking after the wife. Thankfully everyone was ok.
The only good thing was the wife had no idea just what was going on with him at the time.

I thought about it a lot at the time. But as time goes on it slowly drifts away. Occasionally I’ll wake up and think about it or randomly when doing something. It still brings me out in cold sweats.
The first episode of House of Dragons brought it all back with a bump.

To look the bright side. Look at all of us men folk talking about our feelings. Despite our differences of opinion on many subjects. It’s good to see people opening up and supporting each other ????
 

Imurg

The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Joined
Mar 15, 2008
Messages
37,702
Location
Aylesbury Bucks
Visit site
Nothing serious but another day that reminds me how fragile the mind can be and a reminder that it doesn't take a lot to trip me over.
A combination of things, golf off due to fog and cold, parcels going missing, The Boy breaking down on his first long trip to Wales, the weather ......etc etc etc
Alone they're nothing to get het up about...mashed together and it's another day that can do one.......
A poor night's sleep hasn't helped..biggest concern is getting The Boy and his car back from Newbury.
Apologies for the swear word

BELGIUM!!!!
 

GB72

Money List Winner
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
14,833
Location
Rutland
Visit site
For me it is all about hitting 50 next week. Just not dealing with it particularly well. Nothing serious just a lot of facing up to my own mortality plus trying to find a way to have a bit of a celebration that does not set me off but also does not put anyone's nose out of joint (a constant issue for birthdays around Xmas).
 

Imurg

The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Joined
Mar 15, 2008
Messages
37,702
Location
Aylesbury Bucks
Visit site
For me it is all about hitting 50 next week. Just not dealing with it particularly well. Nothing serious just a lot of facing up to my own mortality plus trying to find a way to have a bit of a celebration that does not set me off but also does not put anyone's nose out of joint (a constant issue for birthdays around Xmas).
It's definitely a fence that needs climbing over...not a biggie but big enough..
Just wait till 60's staring you in the face:oops::ROFLMAO:
 

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,789
Visit site
Nothing serious but another day that reminds me how fragile the mind can be and a reminder that it doesn't take a lot to trip me over.
A combination of things, golf off due to fog and cold, parcels going missing, The Boy breaking down on his first long trip to Wales, the weather ......etc etc etc
Alone they're nothing to get het up about...mashed together and it's another day that can do one.......
A poor night's sleep hasn't helped..biggest concern is getting The Boy and his car back from Newbury.
Apologies for the swear word

BELGIUM!!!!
This sums it up.
Tashyboys theory on stress, mental health probs etc.
Life is a plate it only holds so much, when it starts falling off we struggle to cope. everyones plate is a different size. What for me is important is to differentiate what is and what is not important. The golf will be back so as irritating as it is and it helps with the stress relief. That I wouldnt bother about, parcels going missing ?DPD, yup been there but it will sort itself out. Sorting out the lad is the main priority. Once that’s done it’s a big sigh of relief.
On a positive, your game has been rammel lately so there’s been no stress from missing a day ?
Finally talking does help.
 
Top