Mental Health - An Apology

[Radbourne2010]

We've all heard in the past couple of years European & PGA Tour stars 'coming out' as suffering from Mental Health issues of various descriptions. I thought now was the time to come clean on my state of mind over the past 18 months, mainly in regard to golf for this Forum, but of course it infiltrates all walks of life, from work to home & everywhere in between.

Those that know me on the Forum over the past 9-10 years would hopefully know me a serious golfer on the Links & a decent bloke off the course. I like a beer, a good laugh, building friendships with like-minded people & also those who don't necessarily share my views on life, the Universe, etc.

Most of you are friends who I've met through this prism, and I treasure those friendships dearly & the game we all enjoy (& occasionally curse).

With this in mind, I wanted to apologize for my demeanor over the past year or so. I fell out of love for this glorious game of ours at the beginning of 2019, which coincided with a divorce, death of my father & having to sell the family home. Golf became a distraction, rather than something to look forward to on a Saturday or whenever I got out to play. In retrospect this impacted on the mates, opponents & strangers I played with last year. For that alone I apologize to anyone affected by my actions/behaviour/attitude on & off the course.

A button was flicked on over the New Year whilst in South Africa. Playing golf with Barmy Army mates with nothing riding on the result, other than views of Table Mountain & the beers afterwards. I rejoined my club in spring after a lot of social golf in Feb/March. My love of the game & indeed life has been rekindled. Covid-19 didn't extinguish that passion for the game & life itself, instead it helped to re-emphasis what I had missed last year.

Notwithstanding the long winded message above, I wanted to get this message out to the people I choose to call friends, mates (& sometimes other names) on this Forum.

I look forward meeting up with you all at a venue somewhere soon & having a chat and a beer after a round of golf (regardless how well we play or the result).

Take care all. See you very soon.
Cheers!

Mark

 

[ScienceBoy]

I certainly agree there is more to golf than trudging from comp to comp with nothing but bashing a driver on the range in between.

Take time to play a different way, get a new perspective or just play for the joy of hitting the ball around a nice looking field with a good view.

 

[DanFST]

You went through a tough time and dealt with it however your brain decided.

Don't apologise, you got through the other side. Keep it up!

 

[Bigfoot]

Sorry to hear of your problems but hope you are have come out the other side now.

It can be so easy to get too intense over golf when there other things happening in life and not be able to relax or enjoy it.

Hope you can enjoy life and what it brings and I look forward to hearing of good things in your life in future.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Lost my dad in 2003 and mum in 2012 so know about death and coping with playing, and for a while playing with the guilt. You're a fundamental member of the forum so don't feel any problems. Post when you want and hopefully you'll back on the right road. I'm jealous of being in SA watching the cricket. Mentioned the idea of SA and the Lions next year. Deaf ears

 

[Radbourne2010]

Do it while you can Homer. SA is great, even in their winter. Catch you very soon ?

Lost my dad in 2003 and mum in 2012 so know about death and coping with playing, and for a while playing with the guilt. You're a fundamental member of the forum so don't feel any problems. Post when you want and hopefully you'll back on the right road. I'm jealous of being in SA watching the cricket. Mentioned the idea of SA and the Lions next year. Deaf ears

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Good to see you back Mark
Stay strong Sir ?

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Do it while you can Homer. SA is great, even in their winter. Catch you very soon ?

Look after yourself and any time you want a knock I'm here and so are most of the forum. We've all been there to a point. Get stuck in here and PM those you know for a game

 

[Beezerk]

Top man, I'll still never get over that full Puma outfit you had on when we played at Forest Pines ??

 

[Imurg]

The old phrase "It's OK to not be ok" is bang on.
We all have bad days.
Lost both parents in the space of 4 and a bit years and, especially during lockdown, I had days when ill just sat and felt completely lost, no direction, no enthusiasm, no motivation to do much at all. Not being able to tee it up was murder.
Golf is my outlet...it's what keeps me sane, knowing I can get out and just play.
That's why I'm more than happy to trundle around on my own in the rain or sub zero temperatures - mind off the hook time.
All the low points in the last 30 years have been beaten by Golf.

Take care Mark - and anyone else out there having a bad time - and don't feel the need to apologise.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

The old phrase "It's OK to not be ok" is bang on.
We all have bad days.
Lost both parents in the space of 4 and a bit years and, especially during lockdown, I had days when ill just sat and felt completely lost, no direction, no enthusiasm, no motivation to do much at all. Not being able to tee it up was murder.
Golf is my outlet...it's what keeps me sane, knowing I can get out and just play.
That's why I'm more than happy to trundle around on my own in the rain or sub zero temperatures - mind off the hook time.
All the low points in the last 30 years have been beaten by Golf.

Take care Mark - and anyone else out there having a bad time - and don't feel the need to apologise.

Think we all know I live and breathe golf. Whether that does my game any favours is a different conversation but it is a real release valve, even more so I can have a beer wit my PP's. Been a big advocate of solo rounds and "brain dumping" and not worrying about technique or score but just hitting a ball and emptying my head

 

[Captainron]

Forries cures all ailments.....or it numbs them a bit

 

[mikejohnchapman]

Nothing to apologise for my friend. Look forward to catching-up when we meet again at a Forum event.

 

[Radbourne2010]

Works for me & Bryson ?

Top man, I'll still never get over that full Puma outfit you had on when we played at Forest Pines ??

 

[Radbourne2010]

You’ve got that right, Saffer ? Great place & top beer ?

Forries cures all ailments.....or it numbs them a bit

 

[upsidedown]

Thanks for sharing, my divorce saw me in a dark place but my daughter and golf helped me through .
Ended up meeting the love of my life, spending 6 fabulous years in New Zealand and now loving and living life to the full .
Got an old school friend at your place and hope to get there after this all dies down a bit, played it twice and love it

 

[Radbourne2010]

Great message. Thanks for replying. Anytime you get back home come up to the Gogs for a knock ?

Thanks for sharing, my divorce saw me in a dark place but my daughter and golf helped me through .
Ended up meeting the love of my life, spending 6 fabulous years in New Zealand and now loving and living life to the full .
Got an old school friend at your place and hope to get there after this all dies down a bit, played it twice and love it

 

[bigslice]

Never apoligise for something that uve went through, golf is good, golf is fun??‍

 

[Junior]

Hi Mark, It takes a lot to be able to reflect like you have, and, its equally as important to recognise yourself for getting through those dark times. Be proud, look forwards, and enjoy the experiences to come, golfing and otherwise. You've earned them.

 

[IanM]

......we never know what others are dealing with.

....never never realise how many people are dealing with similar stuff to ourselves!