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Well Homer has been online this morning so he hasn't done anything silly overnight.
Well Homer has been online this morning so he hasn't done anything silly overnight.
Good point well made! ?He might have bought a chipper. That would be very silly.
Or gone back to Stack'n'Tilt.
Or dug out those alligator skin golf shoes he got on that Florida golf holiday.
To go with the Faldo mid-80s Pringle sweater.
Or joined Royal Lydd.
First time I've posted on this thread but some of this relates to what I've written in the Dementia thread.
I think most people have their own mental issues. Things that grind them, take them to the edge, bring on the last straw. The epidemic has really exacerbated that for many, if not most.
I consider myself lucky in that my partner and I are still working, nobody has caught Covid and we're still here. But the mental strain of living with someone who has Dementia, whilst trying to carry on working, is damned hard. You're working but constantly listening out. Your life revolves around their schedule, you can't get out anywhere. Like many, we haven't had a holiday away since about September 2019. No break. We can't put the Father in Law into respite due to the concerns of infection.
The effect it is having on my partner is very visible. She tries to cope as best as she can but occasionally it all spills out, and she has to take it out on someone, and I'm the only person there. Those are not good days, and they then affect me terribly as things are said that she retracts afterwards but just don't go away. I don't know if they ever will.
I wouldn't say I have mental issues but I do have low self esteem and so when somebody runs you down, it merely cements that opinion.
Years ago I took to listening to audiobooks, podcasts, etc. at night to help me to sleep. I still do that and don't think I will stop as it's the only way I can ensure I do. The stories stop my mind from racing.
The hard part is the fact that effectively every day is Groundhog Day. I walk down the stairs knowing what I will be doing. No change. The alarms on my phone are set for tasks for the Father in Law.
And I know it's wrong but I don't share these concerns with anyone as I have to look after both my father in law and my partner.
But then I look at what is happening to other people, realise there are so many worse off than me, try to put things into perspective.
As a side note, to those who talk about taking their own lives, my brother took his about 7 years ago. There were things going on in his life he just couldn't cope with. An abiding memory for me is the last time I saw him and the picture of him waving goodbye from the window of his flat. I didn't know his issues at the time despite me asking, nor do I believe he would ever share them with me. But I did see the devastation on his wife, children, parents and all those who attended his funeral. 7 years on and I still think if I had known I could have done something.
Sorry for the long post. It's amazing what comes out once you start typing.
Thank God!Well Homer has been online this morning so he hasn't done anything silly overnight.
A very brave and heartfelt post.Everyone’s favourite poster checking in…
My mental health has taken a serious dip in the past month as I feel I’ve moved into the next stage of grieving my girlfriend who died last year. I’m firmly in the acceptance stage now and that brings all its own pitfalls. Previously the incredulity of it all seemed to shake me out of my funks whereas now I’m left missing the smallest of things about her that just aren’t there anymore.
The main issues I have right now on a grand scale are the seemingly never ending lethargy. I’m in a vicious cycle of having no energy so I cordon myself off from social interactions (I’ve cancelled going to football with my mates tonight for the fourth week in a row) but this in turn leads to me getting home from work, sitting on the sofa, going to bed and repeating the cycle. I’m lucky that my sleep is relatively sound, all things considered. I have recently bought some dumbbells (I’m a scrawny little thing) and have enjoyed working out with those. The subsequent pain is therapeutic in the way it shows me I’m making progress. I’m also trying to do some cardio on the exercise bike as often as I can which also helps me. I really want to get back to football next week - that’s another vicious cycle where every week I don’t go makes it harder to go back. The lads have a running joke in our WhatsApp group about me cancelling but I’ve not told any of them why I do yet but I think that time is here if they ask again tonight.
The saving grace is I have so many people close to me who are happy to listen to me talk or just lend me a shoulder to cry on. I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t have at least a little cry but that’s normal and I don’t ever feel the need to stop myself or hide that from people.
Talking really does help. As does just putting down how you feel on paper or an Internet forum or wherever you feel you’ll get that relief of “sharing” your burdens.
For anyone else having a crappy time right now, try to focus on the good things as well as processing the bad and keep communicating however you see fit.
Everyone’s favourite poster checking in…
My mental health has taken a serious dip in the past month as I feel I’ve moved into the next stage of grieving my girlfriend who died last year. I’m firmly in the acceptance stage now and that brings all its own pitfalls. Previously the incredulity of it all seemed to shake me out of my funks whereas now I’m left missing the smallest of things about her that just aren’t there anymore.
The main issues I have right now on a grand scale are the seemingly never ending lethargy. I’m in a vicious cycle of having no energy so I cordon myself off from social interactions (I’ve cancelled going to football with my mates tonight for the fourth week in a row) but this in turn leads to me getting home from work, sitting on the sofa, going to bed and repeating the cycle. I’m lucky that my sleep is relatively sound, all things considered. I have recently bought some dumbbells (I’m a scrawny little thing) and have enjoyed working out with those. The subsequent pain is therapeutic in the way it shows me I’m making progress. I’m also trying to do some cardio on the exercise bike as often as I can which also helps me. I really want to get back to football next week - that’s another vicious cycle where every week I don’t go makes it harder to go back. The lads have a running joke in our WhatsApp group about me cancelling but I’ve not told any of them why I do yet but I think that time is here if they ask again tonight.
The saving grace is I have so many people close to me who are happy to listen to me talk or just lend me a shoulder to cry on. I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t have at least a little cry but that’s normal and I don’t ever feel the need to stop myself or hide that from people.
Talking really does help. As does just putting down how you feel on paper or an Internet forum or wherever you feel you’ll get that relief of “sharing” your burdens.
For anyone else having a crappy time right now, try to focus on the good things as well as processing the bad and keep communicating however you see fit.
And a great post in reply to mine. Thank you!Great post.
The lethargy is coming from the mental state. But you already knew that! You're an intelligent man your mind needs good activities and mental stimulation to "feed it". Giving the mind something challenging and/or enjoying will in turn start to remove lethargy. To do that, the behaviour needs to change from "coming home and doing nothing as it's easier" to making that first short step back to doing activities that either you really enjoy or new ones that you want to pursue. It's great that you want to go back to football - it's making that transition from wanting to doing is the hardest. You need to ask yourself (I'm sure you have) what is stopping you from going to football? Is it the tiredness? Is it having to fess-up and answer lots of questions if you do go? Perhaps leave the negative aspects in the "bin" and focus on the amazing benefits both mentally and physically that will occur when you do, and I'm sure, if they are your real mates, you will get a very sympathetic ear if you are short and honest with them. If you do go (whether it's for all the session or just a for a bit), it will be load off your mind, you'll get a buzz and the first step to recovery.
This is exactly the sort of mental block I get at work at times and without fail, once the initial panic settles, the projects slot into place nicely when I’ve had a chance to sit down and work through them.I've been getting this weird kind of paralysing anxiety with work this week. I was taken off my project (not because I did anything wrong, it's just staff allocation and they often move people around), and effectively put on three new projects at once. Two of them will be handed over when other people become available but I'm doing start-up stuff for them. I'm just struggling to get it straight in my head what I'm doing for all of them, remembering which project is which or what I'm meant to be doing for each. I know that I know how to do this stuff but I just end up blanking, just sitting here with my head in my hands ignoring emails and phone messages. It's too easy to hide when working from home. Coupled with the strong lack of motivation I've seemingly always had, I just can't make myself do what I need to do. It's a weird feeling, like a wall in my head blocking off parts of my brain.