The Mental Health Thread

[jim8flog]

Getting up has now become sometime after 9am.

Lying in bed watching the box asking myself why, what am I going to do today then realising I need to get up to turn the heating back on

 

[hairball_89]

Just a quick check in.

How's everyone feeling about the Lockdown? Didn't think I'd be too fussed, but haven't slept yet.

Just found this thread. Last night really knocked me back. Fully expected the news. But it never helps.

I work in theatre, so the fact my career doesn't seem to have a "return to normal" horizon is scary.

Probably take the dog out for a long walk and see where that takes me.

 

[Dando]

Just found this thread. Last night really knocked me back. Fully expected the news. But it never helps.

I work in theatre, so the fact my career doesn't seem to have a "return to normal" horizon is scary.

Probably take the dog out for a long walk and see where that takes me.

walking my dog will be a good thing for me once i am allowed out agian

 

[Imurg]

I was pretty down last night...didn't sleep well, although I'm blaiming my dodgy knee for that.
Given up trying to understand why..just got to get on with it.
The hardest bit will be psyching myself up to get out for a walk.
Stick a golf club in my hand and I'll play in most weathers - always find it harder without them..

 

[Deleted member 29109]

Getting up has now become sometime after 9am.

Lying in bed watching the box asking myself why, what am I going to do today then realising I need to get up to turn the heating back on

Get a WiFi thermostat. No need to get out of bed then ?

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

My Mrs is really worried and losing sleep over her mum, aunt, brother and our lad. Her 90yr old aunt is ill with Covid in isolation in a miserable little room in a care home refusing to go to hospital and her 90yr old mum can't visit and is very anxious and worried - never going to see her sister again; her 64yr old unemployed brother is just miserable and depressed with the stress of caring for his mum and diminishing work prospects - and he needs work; and our lad is now stuck in Sheffield and unable to escape to a friend from the mental stress and abuse dumped on him by his g/friend every week or two.

And then to top it all this morning my wife hears that her ex-boss in the NHS - and a good friend - has had a heart attack (not too bad we hear and pray) at work after a discussion/confrontation (most probably about 'who does what' if the nurses are called to a covid ward) with a selfish and self-pitying member of her nursing team - the member of the team that caused my wife great problems when she was working in the team. And so my wife is both very upset for her friend, and incandescent with anger with her ex-colleague. She had warned her boss that something like this was likely going to happen if her ex-colleague wasn't 'helped' out of her current role into one she is much more suited to.

I can but support my Mrs through all of this as best I can.

Oh the joys of the lockdown times in which we live

 

[Dando]

I was pretty down last night...didn't sleep well, although I'm blaiming my dodgy knee for that.
Given up trying to understand why..just got to get on with it.
The hardest bit will be psyching myself up to get out for a walk.
Stick a golf club in my hand and I'll play in most weathers - always find it harder without them..

take a golf club with you when you go out then.

do i have to think of everything on this forum?

 

[Dando]

My Mrs is really worried and losing sleep over her mum, aunt, brother and our lad. Her 90yr old aunt is ill with Covid in isolation in a miserable little room in a care home refusing to go to hospital and her 90yr old mum can't visit and is very anxious and worried - never going to see her sister again; her 64yr old unemployed brother is just miserable and depressed with the stress of caring for his mum and diminishing work prospects - and he needs work; and our lad is now stuck in Sheffield and unable to escape to a friend from the mental stress and abuse dumped on him by his g/friend every week or two.

And then to top it all this morning my wife hears that her ex-boss in the NHS - and a good friend - has had a heart attack (not too bad we hear and pray) at work after a discussion/confrontation (most probably about 'who does what' if the nurses are called to a covid ward) with a selfish and self-pitying member of her nursing team - the member of the team that caused my wife great problems when she was working in the team. And so my wife is both very upset for her friend, and incandescent with anger with her ex-colleague. She had warned her boss that something like this was likely going to happen if her ex-colleague wasn't 'helped' out of her current role into one she is much more suited to.

I can but support my Mrs through all of this as best I can.

Oh the joys of the lockdown times in which we live

Fingers and toes crossed for you

 

[jim8flog]

Get a WiFi thermostat. No need to get out of bed then ?

I have one but it lives in the lounge. I need to reset the timings.

 

[jim8flog]

I was pretty down last night...didn't sleep well, although I'm blaiming my dodgy knee for that.
Given up trying to understand why..just got to get on with it.
The hardest bit will be psyching myself up to get out for a walk.
Stick a golf club in my hand and I'll play in most weathers - always find it harder without them..

One of my troubles with walking is dodgy knees and ankles walking is very limited may half to three quarters on hour generally

When I golf I use a buggy .

I really miss the 4 hours in the open air.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Fingers and toes crossed for you

Thankyou...

The big plus of late last year was that our lad accepted that he needed some counselling to help him understand and cope with the situation he has found himself in - a situation made worse by resentments and angers he's held on for a good few years over people who have screwed him over and taken advantage of him and his caring nature - and who today find themselves OK, when he finds himself totally c****ed on by the virus. We didn't think he'd go for the CBT we had arranged - but he did and it's really helped him mentally over the last 3months - hopefully will continue to do so. And knowing that has helped us.

All others Mrs SILH is anxious, worried and angry about...well...we can but do our best. Fortunately, and though a bit stressed, I'm pretty much OK.

 

[Dando]

Watching a bbc program at the moment with Alex Scott ?
She struggled with her mental health when she started as a pundit
There was an interesting part when she was exercising and doing something mentally stimulating that increased blood flow to the part of the brain that helps control mental well-being.
Oh and Alex Scott ???

 

[toyboy54]

Just came back to read some of your experiences-both good and bad-in my own case it was 2 yrs ago after a pretty massive stroke with 5(?) seizures,yet again was talking to St.Peter about the sleeping quarters-but fought my way through with no physical damage but certain areas of the brain were pretty fried(memory,spatial awareness,some co-ordination stuff).Got very,very angry and down about why me again and at the same time--why was I alive and taking up someones space-why didn't I just eff off--I really wasn't worth the time and energy spent on me/got really,really down on myself but couldn't speak to anyone deeply about it,just would just say was having a bad day and go walking for hours and exercise(after all I had already been dead previously due to a few scrapes and illnesses and came through it all but didn't acknowledge that maybe all this aggression from previous was needing an outlet at those times).
I do now appreciate how great life is with the right people by you.I have truly been lucky compared to many and for that I am truly thankful.
Jimbo

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Been toying about posting here or the how Covid has affected me. Decided on here. Not after sympathy, a debate or any comment. This is simply as per the title thread. How it has affected me

Currently typing this in a dark room, several empty beer bottles on the floor and a resignation letter from my perfect job typed and ready for printing and signing. I'm done. Broken. Wasted, Heartbroken. Knackered. At my wits end.

I can't go on like this. I spent an hour this morning in a room alone with a 74 year old woman waiting for her family to arrive (far too late to see their dad who had passed away) trying to find some crumb of comfort to offer. They had been married 59 years and never spent a day apart until he came into hospital on Saturday. It opened up so many memories of my own dad passing with cancer and put me in a place I thought I had safely locked away. I had to try and be strong for her. I had to be professional for her. I then had to deal with the distraught family.

Every day is a battle now. I am working 11-12 hour shifts, with a snatched meal break for 20 minutes. I am doing stuff so far out of the remit of my role especially trying to organise virtual visits, end of life visiting and a myriad of other stuff. I can't remember a day when I actually did the stuff I should be doing. We are full again. Capacity elsewhere in the trust is flattening but we are being bombarded and another 3 deaths today.

I use to come on here for some fun and especially in the pandemic some release. Now with so many threads plagued by arguments and petty point scoring its grinded me down. My mental health won't let me come back after a day like today and read the rubbish. Those thinking they are being "funny", those that look to make petty points and the several keyboard warriors and their "like followers" have won. I'm too tired, too beaten so I am logging off and taking some time out. I am sure that will come as a blessed relief for many. It might be for a few days, maybe a week, and given the dark and negative thoughts I'm having at the moment maybe for good

I can't go on like this. I have had mental health issues before as some will be aware of and this has set all of the triggers off again. I don't know what the next step is aside from I can't face another shift, and another one like today will finish me totally. There is no end in sight. We are nowhere near numbers coming down and we have 42 patients that are seriously ill with the prognosis for some looking very bleak. This won't go away soon. I am sure other members of staff feel the same way but are being far stronger than me.

Look after your loved ones, stay safe and try and see beyond the sensationalism. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I am/was happy in my role but this is the harsh reality of life in a frontline ICU. Please don't argue over the sentiments or the points I make. It doesn't deserve that. Please don't fuel your petty online hatred with "funny" or "negative" by posting. It is how Covid has affected me. My mental health is in the basement. I don't know what my next move is. Stay safe and look after yourself

 

[toyboy54]

Oh,Christ Homer...don't know what to say to try and bring some comfort to you(and Mrs.Homer).
Please don't do anything really,really silly as a way out-God knows I've thought about it a few times.But believe it or not I just can't bring myself to inflict more angst/pain on the only one I've ever really cared about.
Please,please get your head up.
Do not walk in the shadows Homer....Walk in the light.look at the good around you and give thanks for them!
You gave me kind comfort a while ago,I hope that this can help you in some small way...TAK TENT!!!!
Jimbo

 

[Ethan]

Been toying about posting here or the how Covid has affected me. Decided on here. Not after sympathy, a debate or any comment. This is simply as per the title thread. How it has affected me

Currently typing this in a dark room, several empty beer bottles on the floor and a resignation letter from my perfect job typed and ready for printing and signing. I'm done. Broken. Wasted, Heartbroken. Knackered. At my wits end.

I can't go on like this. I spent an hour this morning in a room alone with a 74 year old woman waiting for her family to arrive (far too late to see their dad who had passed away) trying to find some crumb of comfort to offer. They had been married 59 years and never spent a day apart until he came into hospital on Saturday. It opened up so many memories of my own dad passing with cancer and put me in a place I thought I had safely locked away. I had to try and be strong for her. I had to be professional for her. I then had to deal with the distraught family.

Every day is a battle now. I am working 11-12 hour shifts, with a snatched meal break for 20 minutes. I am doing stuff so far out of the remit of my role especially trying to organise virtual visits, end of life visiting and a myriad of other stuff. I can't remember a day when I actually did the stuff I should be doing. We are full again. Capacity elsewhere in the trust is flattening but we are being bombarded and another 3 deaths today.

I use to come on here for some fun and especially in the pandemic some release. Now with so many threads plagued by arguments and petty point scoring its grinded me down. My mental health won't let me come back after a day like today and read the rubbish. Those thinking they are being "funny", those that look to make petty points and the several keyboard warriors and their "like followers" have won. I'm too tired, too beaten so I am logging off and taking some time out. I am sure that will come as a blessed relief for many. It might be for a few days, maybe a week, and given the dark and negative thoughts I'm having at the moment maybe for good

I can't go on like this. I have had mental health issues before as some will be aware of and this has set all of the triggers off again. I don't know what the next step is aside from I can't face another shift, and another one like today will finish me totally. There is no end in sight. We are nowhere near numbers coming down and we have 42 patients that are seriously ill with the prognosis for some looking very bleak. This won't go away soon. I am sure other members of staff feel the same way but are being far stronger than me.

Look after your loved ones, stay safe and try and see beyond the sensationalism. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I am/was happy in my role but this is the harsh reality of life in a frontline ICU. Please don't argue over the sentiments or the points I make. It doesn't deserve that. Please don't fuel your petty online hatred with "funny" or "negative" by posting. It is how Covid has affected me. My mental health is in the basement. I don't know what my next move is. Stay safe and look after yourself

You need to take some time off. Soldiers in battle get PTSD and so can staff and patients in hot Covid wards for too long. It isn't usually one incident, it is the endlessness of it, more and more, never stopping and you start to feel numbed by it sometimes.

If you wake up the next day you are on duty and feel the same, don't go in. You are no use to your colleagues or family if you are broken. You will be a great asset if you get a moment's breathing space. Self certify off, get a note from your GP if necessary. You will be a long way behind the first to ask, and you won't be the last either. They will understand better than is usually the case.

Avoid the Covid thread here and stick to stuff like the maximum acceptable waist size for a white belt (32" max), whether Tyrell Hatton will win a major (he won't), and whether someone needs new clubs (always).

If you want to talk, message me.

 

[toyboy54]

Well put Ethan.
Good man.
Jimbo
Homer...pls talk to us mate?
Jim

 

[Piece]

Homer, great post and thank you for what you do.

If you can, as Ethan says, take time off. With that time off, or even if you can't, use any spare time by trying to engage in a new activity or something that you've always wanted to do or know about. An example that worked for me was getting into car detailing; understanding the ins and outs of it by researching, reading and doing. I also researched and understood about anxiety and how it can be cured and not managed.

Doing these type of new things gave my brain and mental health a boost. Call it diversion activities. Granted, the enthusiasm may not be there at all for you, but give it a go as something needs to change.

Also make sure that you are eating and drinking well as your body needs systemic balance to aid your mental health.

Improving your mental health when your job is as relentless as it is, seems fruitless. However, by doing some of the above, you are changing your behaviour and giving your brain something new and interesting to feed on.

And yes, have a break from here.

All the best!

 

[Tashyboy]

Been toying about posting here or the how Covid has affected me. Decided on here. Not after sympathy, a debate or any comment. This is simply as per the title thread. How it has affected me

Currently typing this in a dark room, several empty beer bottles on the floor and a resignation letter from my perfect job typed and ready for printing and signing. I'm done. Broken. Wasted, Heartbroken. Knackered. At my wits end.

I can't go on like this. I spent an hour this morning in a room alone with a 74 year old woman waiting for her family to arrive (far too late to see their dad who had passed away) trying to find some crumb of comfort to offer. They had been married 59 years and never spent a day apart until he came into hospital on Saturday. It opened up so many memories of my own dad passing with cancer and put me in a place I thought I had safely locked away. I had to try and be strong for her. I had to be professional for her. I then had to deal with the distraught family.

Every day is a battle now. I am working 11-12 hour shifts, with a snatched meal break for 20 minutes. I am doing stuff so far out of the remit of my role especially trying to organise virtual visits, end of life visiting and a myriad of other stuff. I can't remember a day when I actually did the stuff I should be doing. We are full again. Capacity elsewhere in the trust is flattening but we are being bombarded and another 3 deaths today.

I use to come on here for some fun and especially in the pandemic some release. Now with so many threads plagued by arguments and petty point scoring its grinded me down. My mental health won't let me come back after a day like today and read the rubbish. Those thinking they are being "funny", those that look to make petty points and the several keyboard warriors and their "like followers" have won. I'm too tired, too beaten so I am logging off and taking some time out. I am sure that will come as a blessed relief for many. It might be for a few days, maybe a week, and given the dark and negative thoughts I'm having at the moment maybe for good

I can't go on like this. I have had mental health issues before as some will be aware of and this has set all of the triggers off again. I don't know what the next step is aside from I can't face another shift, and another one like today will finish me totally. There is no end in sight. We are nowhere near numbers coming down and we have 42 patients that are seriously ill with the prognosis for some looking very bleak. This won't go away soon. I am sure other members of staff feel the same way but are being far stronger than me.

Look after your loved ones, stay safe and try and see beyond the sensationalism. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I am/was happy in my role but this is the harsh reality of life in a frontline ICU. Please don't argue over the sentiments or the points I make. It doesn't deserve that. Please don't fuel your petty online hatred with "funny" or "negative" by posting. It is how Covid has affected me. My mental health is in the basement. I don't know what my next move is. Stay safe and look after yourself

Homer I feel for you and let me assure you, you have made the right decision. I kicked it in the head on here for a few months for exactly the same reason. The personal attacks etc etc. Being asked on here “ do you actually love your grandkids” I like you don’t need that crap in my life. Everyone on this forum should read that and let it sink in.
Bottom line Homer and family come first. Thoughts with you me man.

 

[Kellfire]

Been toying about posting here or the how Covid has affected me. Decided on here. Not after sympathy, a debate or any comment. This is simply as per the title thread. How it has affected me

Currently typing this in a dark room, several empty beer bottles on the floor and a resignation letter from my perfect job typed and ready for printing and signing. I'm done. Broken. Wasted, Heartbroken. Knackered. At my wits end.

I can't go on like this. I spent an hour this morning in a room alone with a 74 year old woman waiting for her family to arrive (far too late to see their dad who had passed away) trying to find some crumb of comfort to offer. They had been married 59 years and never spent a day apart until he came into hospital on Saturday. It opened up so many memories of my own dad passing with cancer and put me in a place I thought I had safely locked away. I had to try and be strong for her. I had to be professional for her. I then had to deal with the distraught family.

Every day is a battle now. I am working 11-12 hour shifts, with a snatched meal break for 20 minutes. I am doing stuff so far out of the remit of my role especially trying to organise virtual visits, end of life visiting and a myriad of other stuff. I can't remember a day when I actually did the stuff I should be doing. We are full again. Capacity elsewhere in the trust is flattening but we are being bombarded and another 3 deaths today.

I use to come on here for some fun and especially in the pandemic some release. Now with so many threads plagued by arguments and petty point scoring its grinded me down. My mental health won't let me come back after a day like today and read the rubbish. Those thinking they are being "funny", those that look to make petty points and the several keyboard warriors and their "like followers" have won. I'm too tired, too beaten so I am logging off and taking some time out. I am sure that will come as a blessed relief for many. It might be for a few days, maybe a week, and given the dark and negative thoughts I'm having at the moment maybe for good

I can't go on like this. I have had mental health issues before as some will be aware of and this has set all of the triggers off again. I don't know what the next step is aside from I can't face another shift, and another one like today will finish me totally. There is no end in sight. We are nowhere near numbers coming down and we have 42 patients that are seriously ill with the prognosis for some looking very bleak. This won't go away soon. I am sure other members of staff feel the same way but are being far stronger than me.

Look after your loved ones, stay safe and try and see beyond the sensationalism. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I am/was happy in my role but this is the harsh reality of life in a frontline ICU. Please don't argue over the sentiments or the points I make. It doesn't deserve that. Please don't fuel your petty online hatred with "funny" or "negative" by posting. It is how Covid has affected me. My mental health is in the basement. I don't know what my next move is. Stay safe and look after yourself

It may be difficult but if you can let at least one trusted friend or loved one read this post, if you haven’t already.

Take the time and space you need, don’t do anything drastic and let your mind settle for a few days.