Kid footy - Poor behaviour by adults

[Mudball]

This weekend, we had an absolute disaster at kids footy. The league we play is generally competitive but friendly. Most weekends the boys (ours and the opposition) put their hearts out and play the game in the spirt of it. You do get an occasional odd sock of a parent or a coach who thinks that U12 kids footy is the World Cup. But generally it is ok.

This weekend, we played a team that we had never played before. First 15-20 mins, they pressed well but were denied. You could see some of the boys could clearly play.
Then something happened, the coach started getting shouty. The boys started to use sharp elbows and fake dives!! (and wink when they got a free kick). Their parents started raising a ruckus to heckle our ref and linesman (volunteer dads) .. ‘that’s why we should have paid refs’, ‘Did you get your lunch box from them’… One dad in particular was a standout. Once he admonished his own son (pointing to his head) ‘If you use your brain, you will know not to play the into that space’..

Second half turned into a farce. On three occasions when we broke free and charged, it was given as offside by their linesman. Agreed he is a volunteer too and will get things wrong, but not three times.
Things came to a head when our (usually calm) coach called out the offside on the third time. Their coach walked over to him and started shouting at his face!! Our coach had to walk away from his own spot.
A bit later, when the match was halted for another dive, one of their dad came over to speak to his son who was standing near me. The instruction was ‘You have a few mins left on the clock, wind them up’!!!

We lost by a goal, but truly shambolic show by the opposition.

I thought that was the end of this episode. Later in the evening, one of our parent reported that the noisy dad spoke to her son while her son was in the car. Words were exchanged between the noisy dad and the U12 boy!!!. All this has now been reported to the Respect teams.

The whole incident just leaves a bad impression of the sport. Not just for our boys, but even the opposition kids. Some of them were really good, but what an environment they have to operate in. Bad behaviour is being normalised by Parents and Coaches. Win at every cost seems to be the mantra, but the long term impact is going to be worse.

<rant over>

 

[Foxholer]

Welcome to the world of 'Parents Football'! A great spectator sport, but moreso for the off-the-pitch stuff than anything on it!
I've seen/had similar experiences and U12/13 seems to the time it happens. Some parents don't seem to be able to get what kids' football is about. Fortunately the 2 I was involved with (step-kids) were very stable and happened to be either in a position where it hardly mattered (Goalie) or was sufficiently skilled to avoid the wind-ups etc. Couldn't always say the same for their mother when on the sideline though! Both boys absorbed/rode any 'lessons' though - one becoming School Captain and the other Head Boy.

 

[Mudball]

Welcome to the world of 'Parents Football'! A great spectator sport, but moreso for the off-the-pitch stuff than anything on it!
I've seen/had similar experiences and U12/13 seems to the time it happens. Some parents don't seem to be able to get what kids' football is about. Fortunately the 2 I was involved with (step-kids) were very stable and happened to be either in a position where it hardly mattered (Goalie) or was sufficiently skilled to avoid the wind-ups etc. Couldn't always say the same for their mother when on the sideline though! Both boys absorbed/rode any 'lessons' though - one becoming School Captain and the other Head Boy.

Agree ... what wound me up to write the post was the incident in the car park... Parents need to know better than hurl abuse at kids off the pitch (and in front of their own kid). Great role model

 

[GB72]

My brother used to get some of this when he coached and reffed kids rugby. His basic approach to any complaints was, if you do not like it, get a bib and a whistle and volunteer. If you don't want to do that either shut up or go and sit in the clubhouse. The plus side at the rugby matches is that you normally had 20 or 30 of the first and second team around to help out and it took a brave parent to want to cause grief with them around.

 

[Piece]

Unfortunately it does happen. It's a win at all costs attitude, with some parents and coaches thinking that having played a bit of Sunday men's football, they are the seconding coming of Pep.

In our team we just ignore all this, play with respect, and beat them at playing football the right way. Lost 3 times in 61 games.

 

[Deleted member 3432]

Sums up the whole sport of football perfectly.

Glad my 8 year old has no interest in the game, he can stick to Cricket, Golf and the other stuff he likes.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

My lad did 3 years of club football. I didn't enjoy it, was glad when he decided to go to basketball. It was unpleasant on too many occasions. The description given by the OP will be recognised by anyone who has seen kids football from around 11yrs and upwards.

As a junior my son played club rugby, football, basketball, golf and cricket. Only one was unpleasant, the rest very enjoyable. Very sad the way it happens, and seemingly accepted, in football.

 

[pokerjoke]

I run a U15 boys team in Taunton which my son plays for,it’s been running 6 years.
We have 2 teams and 36 players signed on and atm we are both in the same league.
We honestly have the best parents they are very respectful of the boys and the coaches and just let us get on with it.
We as coaches are firm but fair.
We have played a couple of teams over the years that have probably gone slightly over the top but nothing too bad.
Only a couple of times also the opposition parents have gone over the top.
Generally a good league and a great experience for the boys.
Only one downside I would say is the lack of good qualified refs .
A couple of our boys have just qualified as refs to do Saturday football as we are Sundays but it should be adults not kids or at least 16/17.
Anyway biggest game of the season next week so could be feistyish.

 

[Piece]

I run a U15 boys team in Taunton which my son plays for,it’s been running 6 years.
We have 2 teams and 36 players signed on and atm we are both in the same league.
We honestly have the best parents they are very respectful of the boys and the coaches and just let us get on with it.
We as coaches are firm but fair.
We have played a couple of teams over the years that have probably gone slightly over the top but nothing too bad.
Only a couple of times also the opposition parents have gone over the top.
Generally a good league and a great experience for the boys.
Only one downside I would say is the lack of good qualified refs .
A couple of our boys have just qualified as refs to do Saturday football as we are Sundays but it should be adults not kids or at least 16/17.
Anyway biggest game of the season next week so could be feistyish.

At our level (U14s), getting refs this season has been extremely hard, meaning that some fixtures have to be postponed. I've had to ref some games to cover!

 

[Rooter]

urgh, i ran the line this weekend for u13's. the parents this were actually fine, the kids though! they were arguing, huffing, generally really bad sportsman-like behavior toward me and the ref (a parent, but he is a qualified ref and coach)

I gave one offside, the kid went mental, "that was never off, you would say its off" etc etc. their parents (behind me at this stage) 'That was a good call mate, he was at least half a meter off.' yet they allowed and normalized his behavior?

We played them 3 weeks ago, This same kid (he is a very talented footballer) scored a good goal, we as parents gave a clap, "good goal sonny" as you do, he runs past the 8 or so parents with his finger to his mouth in a premier league Shhhh type 'celebration'. I'm sorry, if that was my lad, I would have walked on the pitch and dragged him home.

 

[sunshine]

The description given by the OP will be recognised by anyone who has seen kids football from around 11yrs and upwards.

Sadly correct. Although I've seen it at younger ages too. I've barely seen kids football, but seen parents shouting and swearing at refs, and shouting at their kids to dive in and hack down the opposition.

The behaviour has been normalised on TV. Whether it's a professional foul "the defender has no choice but to bring him down there", or diving "the attacker had every right to go down there", football provides a licence to act like a scumbag.

 

[IanM]

You beat me to it, Poor behaviour in the Pro Game is replicated even at kids level.... sad.

Even in golf... we see pre shot routines that take several hours ( ) then we see the juniors doing the same..

 

[pokerjoke]

Sadly correct. Although I've seen it at younger ages too. I've barely seen kids football, but seen parents shouting and swearing at refs, and shouting at their kids to dive in and hack down the opposition.

The behaviour has been normalised on TV. Whether it's a professional foul "the defender has no choice but to bring him down there", or diving "the attacker had every right to go down there", football provides a licence to act like a scumbag.

Not in my team
I’m sorry but it isn’t I won’t have it.
No diving
If we beat a team above 10 we show them more respect than a close game because being beat 10-0 every week is not good or fun for any young player.
It really does stem from the coaches

 

[Rooter]

Not in my team
I’m sorry but it isn’t I won’t have it.
No diving
If we beat a team above 10 we show them more respect than a close game because being beat 10-0 every week is not good or fun for any young player.
It really does stem from the coaches

Same, we have one player who is a bit special, if we are up 5-0 at half time and he has bagged 4 (this is quite normal!) he goes in goal for the 2nd half.

 

[larmen]

My lad did 3 years of club football. I didn't enjoy it, was glad when he decided to go to basketball. It was unpleasant on too many occasions. The description given by the OP will be recognised by anyone who has seen kids football from around 11yrs and upwards.

As a junior my son played club rugby, football, basketball, golf and cricket. Only one was unpleasant, the rest very enjoyable. Very sad the way it happens, and seemingly accepted, in football.

This must be going on for decades. My mum would shout into my brothers football games, and often so obviously wrong it amused ref and opposing coaches more than it disturbed them.
They didn’t do it in my basketball games because they didn’t understand the game, and therefore didn’t care much about it.
We are only really getting into the generations now where parents have (think they have) an understanding of basketball. But we played the golden ages of the game, not the neo 3 ball ;-)

 

[SocketRocket]

My Son played from under nines up to 16s in junior football. He's 47 now but it was noisy on the touch line with shouty parents back then. Diving wasn't done in those days though.

 

[Wilson]

urgh, i ran the line this weekend for u13's. the parents this were actually fine, the kids though! they were arguing, huffing, generally really bad sportsman-like behavior toward me and the ref (a parent, but he is a qualified ref and coach)

I gave one offside, the kid went mental, "that was never off, you would say its off" etc etc. their parents (behind me at this stage) 'That was a good call mate, he was at least half a meter off.' yet they allowed and normalized his behavior?

We played them 3 weeks ago, This same kid (he is a very talented footballer) scored a good goal, we as parents gave a clap, "good goal sonny" as you do, he runs past the 8 or so parents with his finger to his mouth in a premier league Shhhh type 'celebration'. I'm sorry, if that was my lad, I would have walked on the pitch and dragged him home.

My younger brother once had a pop at a linesman, must have been 13/14 at the time, Mum stormed on the pitch and dragged him off! He had to go round and apologise etc. We still chirp him about it today!

 

[Billysboots]

All very true, sadly.

The worst behaviour I ever saw actually came from an opposition manager when my lad was playing U15’s, who was abusive to our kids, mocking their football ability and, incredibly, their physical characteristics. Unsurprisingly their players were terribly behaved.

A number of parents, myself included, complained to the local FA. We were the second club to do so, another having alleged several racist incidents earlier that same season. Nothing was done.

Three years later, their team folded and the manager was recruited to manage our U18’s, the very team he had been so offensive towards. The entire team walked out of the club en masse. He then brought in all the players from his by now defunct U18 squad. Our club chairman had no idea about the history, and whilst he apologised to all the departed kids and their parents by the time he did the majority of players had found new clubs.

 

[Piece]

If the coach is gobby and aggressive, you can bet your bottom dollar that the kids are too. See it all the time. I've said to my boys if that you are moaning to the ref, lino or players, then you are wasting 20% of your effort and concentration.

 

[clubchamp98]

It was happening 30 yrs ago .
Maybe not as bad but it still happened.
But sounds like the parents have gone up a notch.

Kids watch what the pros do so it’s no surprise .
The pro game is riddled with cheating and just about money.