Kid footy - Poor behaviour by adults

D

Deleted member 29109

Guest
My boy is 5 in January and I'm starting to think k about getting him involved in a team, not sure I'll bother.

It’s worth it despite the idiots. The good outweighs the bad in my opinion.

Unfortunately there are idiots everywhere, they are unavoidable. Football being as popular as it is attracts a greater number of them.

Pick a club that can demonstrate it has values or a DNA that promotes fun and learning above winning.

Go watch a few games at local clubs and observe the behaviour of the coaches. That will give you a good indication of the culture at the club.

Edited to add. Consider volunteering to coach or help out in some way. That way you can influence what goes on. Just be careful you don’t end up being chairperson ?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

HomerJSimpson

Hall of Famer
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
73,215
Location
Bracknell - Berkshire
Visit site
My boy is 5 in January and I'm starting to think k about getting him involved in a team, not sure I'll bother.

I think that would be a pity. It is a great way of meeting new friends for your son and developing his skills. Not all clubs are as bad as the examples and plenty are proud to show off their inclusivity and values
 

Foxholer

Blackballed
Joined
Nov 16, 2011
Messages
24,160
Visit site
...
Go watch a few games at local clubs and observe the behaviour of the coaches. That will give you a good indication of the culture at the club.
Not necessarily a 'true' reflection though. Many team coaches are 'involved' because one of their kids are in the particular team, so 'culture' can vary greatly depending on which team/coach it is.
 
D

Deleted member 29109

Guest
Not necessarily a 'true' reflection though. Many team coaches are 'involved' because one of their kids are in the particular team, so 'culture' can vary greatly depending on which team/coach it is.

Hence the word ‘indication’.

The club my kids play for had a pretty poor reputation when my son joined at 4. But it is my village club, so I joined as a coach to help his age group out.

A lot of hard work has been put in ove the last 5 years to introduce better coaching standards and a children first ethos. The last of the old guard left a couple of years ago and we now sit down with every new coach and volunteer to explain the values of our club and the behaviour we except from them, their players and the players parents. On the whole we are managing to provide what we consider the best environment for the children.

We have had to remove two coaches in 5 years and speak to a handful of parents about their conduct. The message get through eventually.
 

Foxholer

Blackballed
Joined
Nov 16, 2011
Messages
24,160
Visit site
...
The club my kids play for had a pretty poor reputation when my son joined at 4. But it is my village club, so I joined as a coach to help his age group out.
...
Ages of both your and Bazzatron sons seems very low.
My sports fanatic (step-)kids didn't join clubs until much older - 8 or 9 from memory.
 
D

Deleted member 29109

Guest
Ages of both your and Bazzatron sons seems very low.
My sports fanatic (step-)kids didn't join clubs until much older - 8 or 9 from memory.

My lad is 11 now. He has been at the club since he was 4. They didn’t play any games against other teams until under 7s. Until then it was just an hour a week of fun football related games.

If people think parents and coaches at football are bad. They should try elite level gymnastics or show jumping. ?
 

pokerjoke

Money List Winner
Joined
Nov 17, 2009
Messages
10,841
Location
Taunton ,Somerset
Visit site
Imo 4 or 5 would be too young to join a club for me about 8 or 9 would be better.
But it’s entirely up to the parent and everyone is different.
I would definitely encourage you to let him join because it’s a fantastic way to make friends for life,sport has that effect.
I have friends from 48 years ago that I joined a club with and we had so many great times.
As Bim said you will always have parents that go over the top,we haven’t got any but if we did I think it needs nipping in the bud straight away.
 

Bazz

Q-School Graduate
Joined
May 12, 2012
Messages
3,261
Location
Wolverhampton
Visit site
Imo 4 or 5 would be too young to join a club for me about 8 or 9 would be better.
But it’s entirely up to the parent and everyone is different.
I would definitely encourage you to let him join because it’s a fantastic way to make friends for life,sport has that effect.
I have friends from 48 years ago that I joined a club with and we had so many great times.
As Bim said you will always have parents that go over the top,we haven’t got any but if we did I think it needs nipping in the bud straight away.

I worded it incorrectly I think, just want him to start playing and see how he gets on. Doesn't need to be proper games or anything, just kids to knock about with and see if he likes it.
 

HeftyHacker

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
1,661
Visit site
Back when I was playing under 11s Sunday league my dad overheard one of the oppositions dads shouting at their team to break my legs.

My dad, normally a very calm and reserved man, walked around the pitch and stood alongside this other bloke, caught his eye and quietly told him that he'd bury him if he said something like that again.

The other bloke watched the rest of the game from his car.

On the subject of ref abuse I just can't understand why anyone would want to give up their saturdays/Sundays to be abused by some delusional Messi wannabes. I can imagine its a really fulfilling job if you had two respectful teams but a nightmare if not.
 

The Fader

Newbie
Joined
Sep 12, 2017
Messages
406
Visit site
It's a disgrace what goes on at times at kids football matches.

When my lads were younger because I had a referees qualification from years back.I took on the role of "Dad Ref" as a favour to the coach so he didn't have to do it.

Lasted a few matches until the coach I was helping out let me have an unwarranted volley along the lines "are you copulating blind you fat barsteward"

Whistle blown. Game stopped. Coach handed whistle and I walked off to join my wife on the touchline. End of my refereeing days despite a grovelling apology.

Was so glad when golf became my 2 lads passion and Saturday morning football became nothing but a distant bad memory
 

Foxholer

Blackballed
Joined
Nov 16, 2011
Messages
24,160
Visit site
...
On the subject of ref abuse I just can't understand why anyone would want to give up their saturdays/Sundays to be abused by some delusional Messi wannabes. I can imagine its a really fulfilling job if you had two respectful teams but a nightmare if not.
Probably because their kid was involved and he (presumably) wanted a better quality game than was being provided already.
That (actually my 'put up or shut up' attitude instilled/learnt from somewhere) was a similar reason why, as an adequate, if not exeptional, player I decided to umpire hockey as well as playing. Quite a buzz when you feel you've contributed to making a game better than it could have been, especially when players/coaches you respect say so too.
 

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,919
Visit site
I watched an under 8’s game a few weeks back before young Bradley Tash played his game. There was a kid playing and he was very good. He just invited tackles as he went past players like they were not there. He got some big tackles in against him. After 3 or four tackles against him he started with the attitude. So much so he faked to head butt another player who had put in a good tackle against him I was gobsmacked. It happened straight in front of his manager. His manager told the ref he was gonna sub him. The kid point blank refused to come off. The manager told the ref not to carry on until he came off. He nigh on dragged the kid off who was going mad by this point. It really was embarrassing. The ref blew after another 20 seconds. The manager was disgusted in the kid.
What’s causes kids to be like that at 8 years old.
 

ColchesterFC

Journeyman Pro
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
7,234
Visit site
I watched an under 8’s game a few weeks back before young Bradley Tash played his game. There was a kid playing and he was very good. He just invited tackles as he went past players like they were not there. He got some big tackles in against him. After 3 or four tackles against him he started with the attitude. So much so he faked to head butt another player who had put in a good tackle against him I was gobsmacked. It happened straight in front of his manager. His manager told the ref he was gonna sub him. The kid point blank refused to come off. The manager told the ref not to carry on until he came off. He nigh on dragged the kid off who was going mad by this point. It really was embarrassing. The ref blew after another 20 seconds. The manager was disgusted in the kid.
What’s causes kids to be like that at 8 years old.

The parents.


We get so many that think that their kid is going to be the next big thing rather than just letting them play and enjoy the game. When the kid is constantly being told how great they are they get the attitude that no-one should be able to challenge them.
 

pendodave

Tour Rookie
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
3,291
Visit site
In Spanish kiddy football, parents are banished to a far flung stand and not allowed to make any noise or participate in any way. It's so much more civilised. And much, much better for the young refs.
 

larmen

Head Pro
Joined
Nov 2, 2015
Messages
2,778
Visit site
The parents.


We get so many that think that their kid is going to be the next big thing rather than just letting them play and enjoy the game. When the kid is constantly being told how great they are they get the attitude that no-one should be able to challenge them.
I really wonder how many stars across all sports were pushed, and how many did it for themselves. Is pushing counter productive?

Our little one 5 1/4 has kind of given up on football now. He got a ball in a face once about 6 months ago and didn’t like it anymore. He enjoyed Little Kickers, but didn’t adapt well to club level. He enjoyed parkrun now. Came dead last last Sunday but enjoyed his PB, telling everyone how fast he was. And they all congratulated him ;-)
 

Lord Tyrion

Money List Winner
Moderator
Joined
Sep 9, 2014
Messages
29,237
Location
Northumberland
Visit site
Probably because their kid was involved and he (presumably) wanted a better quality game than was being provided already.
That (actually my 'put up or shut up' attitude instilled/learnt from somewhere) was a similar reason why, as an adequate, if not exeptional, player I decided to umpire hockey as well as playing. Quite a buzz when you feel you've contributed to making a game better than it could have been, especially when players/coaches you respect say so too.
Very different culture though. I played club hockey, umpired some games as well, not at a proper level I hasten to add, and the difference between hockey and football on that front is immense. I had no issue umpiring games as I knew I wouldn't get hassle and if I did, I never did, I had the tools to resolve the problem and the rest of the players on the pitch would respect the decision. Watching football, from kids level to international level I don't see the same.

I played with a guy who umpired internationally and I fully get why you took that route. Like umpiring cricket or refereeing rugby, I understand all of those people, football less so.
 
D

Deleted member 29109

Guest
We had a very pleasant game yesterday. Despite our boys still being in bed and getting turned over. The game was positive from all sides.

Both teams and supporters shared Christmas chocolates after the game, and we gave our kids their Christmas presents. Everyone went home happy despite the result.
 
Top