Kid footy - Poor behaviour by adults

[Deleted member 29109]

The behaviour of the parents is typically a reflection of the behaviour of the coaches.
Many coaches let their ego dictate their behaviour and forget that kids sports is primarily about them having fund and getting some exercise.
I’ve met many who they they are some kind of tactical genius for orchestrating a win for their U10s.

I’ve got no hesitation about stopping a game and telling the spectators and even the other coaches to wind it in. And have taken my players off the pitch so they are not subject to abuse from supporters and coaches from other teams.

As a club we have just made the decision not to play any more games against a particularly notorious local club, after two abandonments in the space of four weeks against them. We know there have been multiple safeguarding complaints against them this year already, but the league doesn’t appear to be doing anything about it.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Been happening for decades. When I was a kid, so early 70's my dad was managing a team and we went over to Richmond Park to play a cup game. They were the form side and supposed to be favourites to win. We were 1-0 up and their manager was getting aggressive as were the parents. One of the parents on our side reacted and next thing us kids knew there was a free for all in the centre circle. I hated getting kids games when I refereed. Best ones to get were the seniors. All decent players, all playing for fun, none wanted to leave a foot in and all the ones I did were done in a great spirit

 

[GG26]

I run a U15 boys team in Taunton which my son plays for,it’s been running 6 years.
We have 2 teams and 36 players signed on and atm we are both in the same league.
We honestly have the best parents they are very respectful of the boys and the coaches and just let us get on with it.
We as coaches are firm but fair.
We have played a couple of teams over the years that have probably gone slightly over the top but nothing too bad.
Only a couple of times also the opposition parents have gone over the top.
Generally a good league and a great experience for the boys.
Only one downside I would say is the lack of good qualified refs .
A couple of our boys have just qualified as refs to do Saturday football as we are Sundays but it should be adults not kids or at least 16/17.
Anyway biggest game of the season next week so could be feistyish.

This is also generally my experience with my son playing from U7s through to U15s where he is currently. The vast majority of the parents are fine and only seen a couple of issues (I once had to stand between one of my friends and a volunteer linesman who took exception at complaints about a couple of decisions - he clearly didn’t understand that you judge offside on when the ball was played and not when received). The refs are often young lads and as far as possible they should be encouraged.

 

[Tashyboy]

Blimey where to start.
Bottom line it was going on 20 odd years ago when my lad started playing at under 8’s. I have seen many a fantastic kid not make because his attitude stunk. Some coaches are beneath contempt, same as some parents.
At the very least if anyone is going to take there kid to a club it should be FA Charter standard. I told my daughter to take young Bradley Tash away from the team he was at. The standard of coaching was atrocious.
The club he is at now. I took him training a couple of weeks ago. His team was on one half of a rubber crumb training pitch. On the other half was a team a year or two older. The coach told the parents to get out. A minute later he called all the parents over. He gave them all a roasting, he told them there kids attitudes stunk , he told them in no uncertain terms that some of the kids were bullying others. He told them point blank if they do not sort themselves out and there kids they will be looking for a new team. The silence was deafening.

 

[williamalex1]

My old mate a capped Scottish International coached 13 year old for Motherwell Fc, said some parents were a nightmare.
They just can't see the true picture and think that their kid is perfect, can't do anything wrong and should be picked every week.
His stock reply was , ##$@##%$$ off would you go into another qualified tradesman's place of work and tell them how to do their job.
That's it tidied up slightly

 

[Billysboots]

His stock reply was , ##$@##%$$ off would you go into another qualified tradesman's place of work and tell them how to do their job.

He should try being a cop. Having all and sundry telling you how to do your job is a daily occurrence ?

 

[clubchamp98]

He should try being a cop. Having all and sundry telling you how to do your job is a daily occurrence ?

I havnt seen one for months to tell him what to do.

 

[Blue in Munich]

He should try being a cop. Having all and sundry telling you how to do your job is a daily occurrence ?

Yup; the only people that didn't know how to do that job were the only people prepared to sign up...

 

[Billysboots]

I havnt seen one for months to tell him what to do.

Aha! But they know where you are ?

 

[Doon frae Troon]

My old mate a capped Scottish International coached 13 year old for Motherwell Fc, said some parents were a nightmare.
They just can't see the true picture and think that their kid is perfect, can't do anything wrong and should be picked every week.
His stock reply was , ##$@##%$$ off would you go into another qualified tradesman's place of work and tell them how to do their job.
That's it tidied up slightly

I have to say that in 4 seasons of boys and one season of girls fitba I have only once witnessed bad behaviour from the parents.
The Ref stopped the game and told the guy to leave the park, his fellow supporters were only too willing to back the ref.

Some of the kids have bad attitude but I don't think that is anything new.

 

[chrisd]

I recall back , probably 30 to 40 years ago when the club I was Chairman of, first introduced a children's team (u10 I think) and I was asked to go along by the committee to watch. At half time several parents came over to ask what I thought of the game so far. The only thing I could say was that if the parents of both teams would stop shouting instructions to their child, undermining the coaches, and abusing the referee and linesmen I'm sure it would be a much better game!

That didn't go down well then and I didn't go to any more games

 

[GB72]

Not picking on anyone in particular but I have seen the rhetoric about 'it has always gone on' mentioned here and in other topics. I agree, it was around when I was a kid in the 70s and has been there ever since. That in itself is a pretty damning fact, that in nearly 50 years the clubs and authorities have not taken this by the scruff of the neck and tried to do something about it. Kids sport should be free of egos and insults but it keeps on going. Rugby went too far with the 'no winners and losers, everyone gets a trophy approach' but there is a middle ground, coaches taking control of the behaviour of their players, clubs using volunteers to marshall crowd behaviour etc.

 

[Orikoru]

That is shocking, but not surprising based on my Sunday League experience, and the fact that some of these people we've faced will have kids playing no doubt. We generally have to provide a linesman for our defending end, and almost every opposing linesman cheats and flags us offside at every opportunity. I can't bring myself to cheat like that when I'm doing it, and most of my teammates say the same, so ultimately we just lose out.

Football can be frustrating when things out of your control go against you I suppose, such as ref's decisions, but that's no excuse for berating someone who's a volunteer. Parents must simply not realise how few people actually want to be refs (I wouldn't want to either). You've seen me complaining about our refs on here but I certainly don't unleash abuse at them to their face, as nobody deserves that for trying to officiate a game.

It is a shame that kids are picking up the worst habits of what they see on TV. Always bound to happen I suppose, but not having kids yet I've not really given it much thought before.

 

[Robster59]

I used to work with a couple of blokes who were amateur refs and they both said that, without a shadow of doubt, that the junior games were always the worst to referee. The amount of abuse they got every week was appalling. I would agree that this should be dealt with by the authorities and any teams that have regular complaints against them should be banned from the competition. And continue to enforce it until people get the message. It may seem hard on the kids, but they can't continue to be given this terrible example by their parents.

 

[Mudball]

I used to work with a couple of blokes who were amateur refs and they both said that, without a shadow of doubt, that the junior games were always the worst to referee. The amount of abuse they got every week was appalling. I would agree that this should be dealt with by the authorities and any teams that have regular complaints against them should be banned from the competition. And continue to enforce it until people get the message. It may seem hard on the kids, but they can't continue to be given this terrible example by their parents.

At the end of the match, our volunteer Ref dad has said he had enough of this nonsense and we will go back to paid refs. It simply means more in Subs money, but it is one less headache to have. Mind you, the 'paid' refs are also 15-20 yr old who are learning the ropes. It is sad that they get the verbal volleys.

We had previously complained about a club. We met them again when we played away at their place. Just before kick off, one of the guys came over and introduced himself to our staff. He was the Chairman of the club and brought along their welfare officer. Apparently they had a few complaints about their coach. So wanted to come and watch the game. He watched for some time and then went away. Not sure if anything came out of it. Besides the gobby coach, he would need to speak to the parents of a U11 boy who was as foul mouthed as they come.

Unfortunately, some one described it as 'council house behaviour'.... that is one helluve a broad brush to generalise. Sports can sometimes become the reflection of the society we live in.

 

[chrisd]

[

 

[drdel]

He should try being a cop. Having all and sundry telling you how to do your job is a daily occurrence ?

After all these years of being told how to do it right it's about time you put the advice to good use !

 

[Billysboots]

After all these years of being told how to do it right it's about time you put the advice to good use !

Too late. I’m now drawing my gold plated pension. ?

 

[Tashyboy]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59634315

should not come as a suprise.

 

[Deleted member 29109]

Just had another incident reported from the weekend.

A team used to winning clearly not happy about being beaten. Coaches and parents start getting aggressive. The opposition coach has gone full big time Charlie when having a pop at the ref screaming “do you know who I am”. Along with a (presumably) dad threatening to punch one of our players mum.
Behaviour from some is definitely getting worse since Covid. I did think it was because they couldn’t behave like animals at professional games.