Golf Mindset

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GolfGolf254

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On my best day I'll break 90.


My problem is that I want to win and give up too easily.


I keep reading all this stuff about don't care about winning and learn just to enjoy it but I can't trick my mind into believing that and as soon as I've blown up a few holes I can think or say whatever I want but deep down I'm so annoyed that my challenge has come to an end.


For example..... Captains Day I was reading all the Zen Golf stuff about goals, expectations and targets......


Went there simply to enjoy 18 individual Birdie Challenges where I simply ignore my overall score, play each hole and try to get a birdie. Sounds fun but I had two bad holes in a row and instantly lost my feel for chipping and putting and knew deep down that I didn't actually care about Birdies or personal bests. I just want to compete and feel in the competition and part of the day.


Why is wanting to win a bad thing? Need advice on trying to start focusing on staying in the competition at all costs instead of ignoring it.

Instead of ignoring Stableford points and pretending I don't care if that is what truly drives me then do I need to learn how to embrace that?

Anyone any tips for a proper winning mentality instead of this new age Zen Golf? 🙏
 
Scratch players average 1.8 more birdies per round than a 18 handicapper.......
Unless you're Scratch you're not likely to get more than a couple per round
As a 5 index I may get 2 or 3 on a good day, I may get 10 - 12 pars on a normal round.
Getting a couple of pars is OK at your level.
Aiming too high puts pressure on you, unnecessary pressure.
Manage your expectations
 
Imurg said:
Scratch players average 1.8 more birdies per round than a 18 handicapper.......
Unless you're Scratch you're not likely to get more than a couple per round
As a 5 index I may get 2 or 3 on a good day, I may get 10 - 12 pars on a normal round.
Getting a couple of pars is OK at your level.
Aiming too high puts pressure on you, unnecessary pressure.
Manage your expectations
Click to expand...

Imurg said:
Scratch players average 1.8 more birdies per round than a 18 handicapper.......
Unless you're Scratch you're not likely to get more than a couple per round
As a 5 index I may get 2 or 3 on a good day, I may get 10 - 12 pars on a normal round.
Getting a couple of pars is OK at your level.
Aiming too high puts pressure on you, unnecessary pressure.
Manage your expectations
Click to expand...
no...... I TRY to get 1 birdie out of 18 tries but usually have 3 or 4 pars and a load of bogies. It's the 2 or 3 double or worse that kill me especially if they happen on front 9. It's a good game when I'm out by myself but when I'm in a competition I need some better rules.

If I try to play for Bogey which I used to I find myself too cautious with no potential to fluke the odd Birdie. 😝
 
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IainP said:
A few others will have done this, erase the scorecard from your brain - play 'level 5s'. i.e. every hole is a par 5 and just keep track of over / under.
Some people find being a few over or under easier to deal with.
Click to expand...

Thanks. Something like this I'll try.

I do enjoy golf when I'm by myself but when it's a big day that I've been looking forward too it's impossible to pretend to myself that I don't care about putting a good round together.

I don't even care if I win. I just like to feel walking down the 18th that I've something to play for.

Bogey Golf I find I'm too cautious and drop shots trying to be too smart when I don't have the dispersion to miss traps

Birdie Golf is more fun to be Gung-ho but when trying to hit GIR's I usually try the hero shot and lose any little ball flight control I have.

Par Golf...... now that might be the future. No safety shots and no hero shots. 🤔😝
 
I think you should look into ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). You cannot 'trick' your brain into not thinking about something or forgetting about something. Sometimes it's best to accept that those thoughts are there, but they are just thoughts and move on.

I can think about putting my fist through a window, doesn't mean I have to do it.

Here's a good account to look into

 
First thing. Accept that no matter how well you play, you have absolutely no control whatsoever over whether you win a comp or not. You can have the best round of your life and not win because someone else has done the same, or more likely has a hookey handicap.

Secondly, changing your mindset takes more than one round.
You need to get used to playing every shot of every round with the same intention and not giving up on a round. That takes practice and grinding out the best score you can and not giving up is as rewarding as winning a comp.
I won a stableford a few weeks ago with my second best round of the year. I started with a double bogie blob. But didn’t give up and played very well thereafter.

I take a lot of pride in trying the best I can on every shot, even if playing badly.

Trying to force birdies, is a recipe for disaster, especially if your best golf is shooting 90.

Buy John Sherman’s 4 foundations of golf. Managing expectations and target selection will be interesting reading for you.
 
BiMGuy said:
First thing. Accept that no matter how well you play, you have absolutely no control whatsoever over whether you win a comp or not. You can have the best round of your life and not win because someone else has done the same, or more likely has a hookey handicap.

Secondly, changing your mindset takes more than one round.
You need to get used to playing every shot of every round with the same intention and not giving up on a round. That takes practice and grinding out the best score you can and not giving up is as rewarding as winning a comp.
I won a stableford a few weeks ago with my second best round of the year. I started with a double bogie blob. But didn’t give up and played very well thereafter.

I take a lot of pride in trying the best I can on every shot, even if playing badly.

Trying to force birdies, is a recipe for disaster, especially if your best golf is shooting 90.

Buy John Sherman’s 4 foundations of golf. Managing expectations and target selection will be interesting reading for you.
Click to expand...
I’ve literally just bought this book at the weekend, what’s your thoughts on it?
 
BrianM said:
I’ve literally just bought this book at the weekend, what’s your thoughts on it?
Click to expand...
It’s a very good book if you have an open mind.

There is a lot of information in there, a lot is stuff that has been covered in his podcast. If you like the podcast you should find the book useful.
 
DeanoMK said:
I think you should look into ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). You cannot 'trick' your brain into not thinking about something or forgetting about something. Sometimes it's best to accept that those thoughts are there, but they are just thoughts and move on.

I can think about putting my fist through a window, doesn't mean I have to do it.

Here's a good account to look into

Click to expand...
Thank you. Just the kind of stuff I'm looking for.
 
BiMGuy said:
First thing. Accept that no matter how well you play, you have absolutely no control whatsoever over whether you win a comp or not. You can have the best round of your life and not win because someone else has done the same, or more likely has a hookey handicap.

Secondly, changing your mindset takes more than one round.
You need to get used to playing every shot of every round with the same intention and not giving up on a round. That takes practice and grinding out the best score you can and not giving up is as rewarding as winning a comp.
I won a stableford a few weeks ago with my second best round of the year. I started with a double bogie blob. But didn’t give up and played very well thereafter.

I take a lot of pride in trying the best I can on every shot, even if playing badly.

Trying to force birdies, is a recipe for disaster, especially if your best golf is shooting 90.

Buy John Sherman’s 4 foundations of golf. Managing expectations and target selection will be interesting reading for you.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I am aware that I probably do need to stick at the mind games more.

I don't actually try to force Birdies too much. It's more of a hope that if I go for Birdies and fall short it would at least leave me with a good Bogey chance but I'm finding out that it's not that simple. 😝
 
IainP said:
A few others will have done this, erase the scorecard from your brain - play 'level 5s'. i.e. every hole is a par 5 and just keep track of over / under.
Some people find being a few over or under easier to deal with.
Click to expand...
This^^^I used to do playing to 6s when trying to get break 100 and get to 90. Just in my head it felt good to have ‘birdies’ and ‘eagles’ and to be able to tell myself such as ‘I’m 6 under, I’m 10 under’. I think I then used playing to 5s occasionally, but once I’d got an albeit slippery grip of my expectations, I broke 100 quite quickly and then 90 not too long after.

And on the matter of birdies similar to what @Imurg points out. My best ever gross off our front tees shot just a couple of weekends ago comprised one double bogey; two singles, and 15 pars. You’ll notice one thing I didn’t get (apart from a triple or worse 😘)
 
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Imurg said:
Scratch players average 1.8 more birdies per round than a 18 handicapper.......
Unless you're Scratch you're not likely to get more than a couple per round
As a 5 index I may get 2 or 3 on a good day, I may get 10 - 12 pars on a normal round.
Getting a couple of pars is OK at your level.
Aiming too high puts pressure on you, unnecessary pressure.
Manage your expectations
Click to expand...

On a personal level I would disagree with that.

I have always been a bit of a birdie machine, highest number was 8 when a 16 handicap and would regularly get 5 or 6 as a 6 handicap.

My trouble has always been the double (or worse) bogeys.

The round with 8 birdies also had 6 double bogeys.
 
Interesting reading everyone's thoughts. My teacher is a big 'instinctive golf' guy, somewhat old school and since taking up with him last year my game has improved tenfold. Went from never breaking 100 to regularly breaking 90 and shooting a PB of 84 last weekend. The thing he's drilled into me time and time again is that you should take nothing with you onto the course. Doesn't matter what you're playing for, who you're playing with or what you've been working on at the range that week, the swing you've woken up with that day is what you're stuck with.
The ONLY thing he wants me to think about when addressing the ball is focusing on a smooth tempo, that's it. Everything else is trust in the practice.

It's had me enjoying the game a lot more and not just because I put down better scores. I feel completely relaxed on the course now, even when I finish a few blow up holes the mindset of 'focus through placidity' is almost instinctual now.
 
I'm a low 80s (82) on a good day and 87 on what I feel is a bad round. I don't watch any swing videos at all, only techniques on how to hit a shot. Watch maybe 20 videos on the same thing and extract what I need and what I can do physically.

I went to see a mind coach and he helped me focus on ball striking only in a shot. I have to say it worked, and 3 years later, I still use it. My only focus in a shot is contact. Direction will come with time, but as long as I get to the ball in any situation, I can walk off knowing I did my best. Also I don't play for birdies, I just want to limit doubles.
 
Blimey, that's an interesting opening post.
Even the best players in the world hardly ever "win". If winning is that important to you, you could either take up something else, or perhaps change your definition of "winning".
My own observation is that the people who enjoy golf the most hardly ever think about it. They think about the fun of being with their mates, the joy of exercise and fresh air, or the constant quest for improvement. If they find themselves playing well, then sure, they'll find fun in that, but I'm not sure anyone got happy with winning at golf as their focus.

As an aside, I don't really think of winning handicap events as winning in any pure sporting context. Actual winning is beating someone (or some team) straight up. So maybe best to forget about it for a while!
 
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