Poor etiquette OR opponent over reacting

[Orikoru]

I had a foursomes match yesterday, a couple of times I just had to clarify the status as I wasn't sure, i.e. "we're both four to here right?" which is tantamount to saying a putt is for a half I guess. But nobody got angry and we all had a lovely round. Who'd have thought?

 

[chrisd]

I had a foursomes match yesterday, a couple of times I just had to clarify the status as I wasn't sure, i.e. "we're both four to here right?" which is tantamount to saying a putt is for a half I guess. But nobody got angry and we all had a lovely round. Who'd have thought?

I don't see it as anything other than checking the current status of the game. If players are all over the place during the play of a hole then it makes sense to check where the scores are at when everyone is reasonably close by. I've never encountered a problem in either being told a putt is for a half or mentioning it to an opponent.

 

[Robster59]

The guy wouldn't last too long playing with me and my mates in bounce games .

Same here. Often it is said to our opponents on the hole "this for a half, no pressure!".
In a comp I wouldn't say it unless asked. In a bounce game, why get offended?

 

[Swango1980]

You've got to know your opponent. If I was playing in a friendly knock with a mate(s), I could happily say this is for a half. I may also say stuff like "I'm not giving you that" or "you struggle from this distance" or "pressure putt, can you cope". All a bit of friendly banter. I wouldn't dream of doing any of that if I was playing with someone I didn't really know or against anybody, even a mate, if it was a more important, competitive game. I'd just come across as an a#se, and would certainly be considered gamesmanship.

Still, sounds like he massively over-reacted.

 

[Ethan]

I think it is a bit gamesmanshippy to say it, but he over-reacted. You can't offer a half after he missed his putt for a half, either.

 

[rksquire]

I hate to lose, even in friendly matches, so I'd be saying every single time he now has a putt for a half - - it'll help him in long run

 

[KenL]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

 

[Blue in Munich]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

I have to wonder if they have been regular partners who have known each other for 15 years and it's a friendly match, what was actually said, and how, to provoke such a reaction and why the OP needs the validation of a forum if it was that innocuous...

 

[Orikoru]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

It's not even about banter based on the opening post description. He just said this is for a half - statement of fact. I wouldn't be giving out banter in a match unless I knew the opponent(s) very very well.

 

[Deleted member 29109]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

I'm 100% ok with it. Banter, as you call it is entirely normal with the guys I play with. There is always a bit of ribbing after a bad shot or a missed short put. Or the usual "that's a tricky one for half".

If playing in a medal or stableford with someone I didn't know then I would just engage in polite conversation and confirm the number of shots for each hole.

Matchplay comps are different. I won't start any gamesmanship. But if I get the slightest hint my opponent is trying to use the dark arts, I'm all in.

 

[Canary_Yellow]

I wouldn't have known that saying "this for half" could be construed as gamesmanship or cause offence. Frankly, what difference could it possibly make to the person putting? It doesn't add any pressure, it's a simple fact.

Tradition and etiquette are funny old things.

 

[Oddsocks]

If playing match play with someone who i haven’t played with before, I keep it factual for the first 3/4 holes just to asses their personality with any comments being 100% straight. “that’s down for nett 3”. Once I see they are prepared for banter then it’s gloves off and I love it, almost thrive on it.

As a junior we used to play “put offs 4bbb”, some of the stuff than was said or went on was completely across the line but I rarely get distracted when a pigeon sneezes 16 post codes away like others.

Re the OP, if it was a regular playing partner I would have ribbed him for most of the remaining round and via a few texts in the following week, likewise I would have expected the same in return.

 

[chrisd]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

Friendly banter is exactly that, friendly imo, I cant think of anything more boring than playing a game (and it is just a game) and being serious all the way through it for up to 4 hour hours. It seemed to me that the receiver of the comment was somehow harbouring a long term grudge, or had much more on his mind than the comment, and was just waiting an opportunity to just boil over.

 

[Robster59]

I do wonder if all the people saying this is fine, to be encouraged etc really feel that way?

"Friendly" banter is never really friendly, is it?

It depends on who you play with. Our 18 holes is full of banter, all friendly with a lot of p taking and no offence meant or taken.

 

[HeftyHacker]

It depends on who you play with. Our 18 holes is full of banter, all friendly with a lot of p taking and no offence meant or taken.

This. Everytime I step up to a putt needing it for a half or a win i get comments on my weak mentality or reminded of the last putt that I missed ?. Then that player will be informed that they're living rent free in my head by the third player.

I actually think its helped toughen me up quite a lot as I used to fold like a deckchair over those putts but I'm much better now.

 

[3offTheTee]

I think it is a bit gamesmanshippy to say it, but he over-reacted. You can't offer a half after he missed his putt for a half, either.

I know I cannot offer him half E. It was my way of saying if you are so upset it does not matter to me we will take half or we could have ‘thrown’ the next hole which we won along with the next 4 on the front 9 so by the turn being 6 up the guy was not a happy bunny! It was also my way of saying do not blame me if you missed a putt. The hole was a par 5 with a blind shot SI 8 so it may have been for clarification purposes.

 

[Backsticks]

Same here. Often it is said to our opponents on the hole "this for a half, no pressure!".
In a comp I wouldn't say it unless asked. In a bounce game, why get offended?

Saying "no pressure" constitutes giving advice, and so you lose the hole.

 

[KenL]

Saying "no pressure" constitutes giving advice, and so you lose the hole.

???

 

[Robster59]

Saying "no pressure" constitutes giving advice, and so you lose the hole.

How about if I changed it to "yer w@nker"?

 

[Backsticks]

How about if I changed it to "yer w@nker"?

Yes, thats perfectly fine, and no penalty would apply in that case, as it would not qualify as 'advice'. Rudeness and abuse are fully legal under the rules of golf! ?