Slime
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Bloody cat just asked if I wanted the radio left on whilst he goes out!
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Slime
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chrisd
Major Champion
Just put it on paws
Ye Olde Boomer
Well-known member
True story: when my son was a boy starting to take an interest in young ladies, I told him,
Son, you will never find a girl who treats you like your mother treats you.
More likely, you'll find one who treats you like your mother treats me.
The gestapo My wife blames that little talk for her not having grandchildren.
Son, you will never find a girl who treats you like your mother treats you.
More likely, you'll find one who treats you like your mother treats me.
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Alert
There could some fruity language in this.....
There could some fruity language in this.....
D
Deleted member 21258
Guest
Couple of jokes sent to me:-
Having trouble staying at home? Shave your eyebrows off.
The Coronavirus has achieved what no female has every been able to achieve. It has cancelled sports, closed all bars and kept all guys at home!
Having trouble staying at home? Shave your eyebrows off.
The Coronavirus has achieved what no female has every been able to achieve. It has cancelled sports, closed all bars and kept all guys at home!
Leftie
Tour Winner
The ultimate irony would be eating Brazilian food and finding a hair in it…
BubbaP
Occasional Player of Golf
YandaB
Newbie
Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
Please don't forget to go outside and applaud all the Amazon and Hermes delivery drivers for their essential work keeping us supplied with all the rubbish we think we need.
Sometime between 8:00am and 6:00 pm tomorrow
Sometime between 8:00am and 6:00 pm tomorrow
Slime
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Slime
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Slime
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bobmac
Major Champion
AmandaJR
Money List Winner
Nothing like laughing at your own jokes...this is going to be my daily lockdown antidote! If the links work...
Slime
Tour Winner
A Corona virus lesson.
need_my_wedge
Has Now Found His Wedgie
That had me in tears of laughter
Robster59
Tour Rookie
Seeing the heebeejeebees thread made me think of this
