Slime
Tour Winner
We’ve just bought the Blacksmith’s old dog.
As soon as we got it home it made a bolt for the door.
As soon as we got it home it made a bolt for the door.
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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Talking to my next door neighbour Trev earlier today. He was digging a hole in his garden.
Me, "Trev, what are you digging that hole for?"
Trev, "my goldfish has died."
Me, "big hole for a goldfish."
Trev, "aye, but its inside your cat."
Me, "Trev, what are you digging that hole for?"
Trev, "my goldfish has died."
Me, "big hole for a goldfish."
Trev, "aye, but its inside your cat."
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
![Cam].jpg](https://golfmonthly-data.community.forum/attachments/24/24974-8d53e9becf16c302be72c2c660cd933e.jpg "Cam].jpg")
An American who had recently returned from Vietnam has tested positive for COVID N-n-n-n-19
A man who can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs has been diagnosed with crooner virus....
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
so i said to the wife ,put your nurses outfit on tonight
..............weve run out of bread and milk.
..............weve run out of bread and milk.
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Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
Aldi have reacted to the panic buying
......they opened a second till.
......they opened a second till.
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
i have made a new aftershave for introverted men ,its called"leave me the fur"
...its a cologne
...its a cologne
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
i once got arrested while watching countdown.
thats eight letters that is.
thats eight letters that is.
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
I called up the baths and said, “Is this the local swimming pool?”
He said, “It depends where you’re calling from.”
He said, “It depends where you’re calling from.”
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Text from wife .. Windows frozen
Text from Hubby...throw some lukewarm water on it
Text from Hubby...Well?
Text from Wife....Computer's totally buggered now
Text from Hubby...throw some lukewarm water on it
Text from Hubby...Well?
Text from Wife....Computer's totally buggered now
Slime
Tour Winner
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?".
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?".
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much.
That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
*"Are - my - test - results - back?"*
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?".
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?".
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much.
That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
*"Are - my - test - results - back?"*
Slime
Tour Winner
Robster59
Tour Rookie
Robster59
Tour Rookie
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
People using the Dyson Ventilators seem to be picking up well.
D
Deleted member 23270
Guest
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
Took me several attempts to get this one.......sorry!
I dont think you were the only one Dave
