need_my_wedge
Has Now Found His Wedgie
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
BubbaP
Occasional Player of Golf
-- this isn't intended to be a funny --
I often download images from here to share elsewhere but always have a problem with the ones Slime uploads.
It is as if they are named jpg, rather than have a jpg extension or something.
I think I might of worked around via my pc before with some faffing, but the phone just doesn't want to play. Any suggestions?
Edit: remembered what I did now, switched to another browser on phone and that handled it
I often download images from here to share elsewhere but always have a problem with the ones Slime uploads.
It is as if they are named jpg, rather than have a jpg extension or something.
I think I might of worked around via my pc before with some faffing, but the phone just doesn't want to play. Any suggestions?
Edit: remembered what I did now, switched to another browser on phone and that handled it
Last edited:
Mudball
Assistant Pro
All Cricket now cancelled and moved to next year.
The always said that 2020 would destroy Cricket
The always said that 2020 would destroy Cricket
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
Almost all of them have a .jpg extension.
D
Deleted Member 1156
Guest
I'm over the moon, my wife has just agreed to a threesum. Just need to break it to her now that she isn't one of the three.
Leftie
Tour Winner
Mudball
Assistant Pro
She probably does not want you in there either
CliveW
Tour Winner
Who are the other two guys???
Orikoru
Tour Winner
Apparently this DPD driver has a part-time career as a porn star judging by his name...
"Your driver Alexxx will deliver your parcel today between 12:33-13:22."
"Your driver Alexxx will deliver your parcel today between 12:33-13:22."
Pathetic Shark
Tour Rookie
Because it is the 75th anniversary of VE tomorrow, I have been invited to a Vera Lynn Appreciation Concert.
Don't know where or don't know when though.
Don't know where or don't know when though.
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
It will be on a sunny day if it happens .I would think a couple of bluebirds might fly over the White cliffs of Dover
ColchesterFC
Journeyman Pro
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'
I thought..
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked o n my door
and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'
I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Okay.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Totally naked!
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'
I thought..
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked o n my door
and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'
I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Okay.' I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Totally naked!
Slime
Tour Winner
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young
lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
don't wear because you say they
are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ..... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
Slime
Tour Winner
A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty stewardess.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :
'To Fly. To Serve'.
The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
'Winning the hearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undetered, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:
'Going beyond expectations'.
The woman looks at him sternly and says:
'What the f*** do you want?'
'Ah ha!' he says
"Ryanair".
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :
'To Fly. To Serve'.
The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
'Winning the hearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undetered, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto:
'Going beyond expectations'.
The woman looks at him sternly and says:
'What the f*** do you want?'
'Ah ha!' he says
"Ryanair".
