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This COVID 19 situation has been especially stressful for members of the Flat Earth Society, they feel that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
bobmac
Major Champion
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BubbaP
Occasional Player of Golf
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Fred worked in a pickle factory. For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist.
After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist gave up. He then advised Fred to go ahead and do it, otherwise he would probably never have any peace of mind. The next day Fred came home from work very early. His wife, Mary, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.
For the first time, Fred tearfully confessed to her his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.
Mary gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely-intact penis. She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"
Fred replied, “I think she got fired, too.”
Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist.
After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist gave up. He then advised Fred to go ahead and do it, otherwise he would probably never have any peace of mind. The next day Fred came home from work very early. His wife, Mary, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.
For the first time, Fred tearfully confessed to her his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.
Mary gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely-intact penis. She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"
Fred replied, “I think she got fired, too.”
backwoodsman
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A man goes to the doctor. He's got two black eyes, a cauliflower ear, missing teeth and a 5 iron bent around his neck. "Crikey" says the doctor, "you've been in the wars. What on earth happened?".
"I was playing golf" says the man. "Golf", says the doctor, "how on earth did all this happen playing golf?"
"Well says the man, me and the Missus were playing at Brora - you know, its one of those courses where livestock are allowed to graze on the course. Well , the missus sliced her tee shot on the 10th and it went right over to where a herd of cows were grazing. So we went to look for it.
I found a ball and asked her, "is this yours". "No" she said, "its not got my mark on it". After finding several balls, none of which had her mark on it we were about to give up. But then I noticed a cow swishing its tail, and there appeared to be something white behind it. So l lifted up the cow's tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball wedged in the cow's backside. And it had her mark on it.
So, I held up the held up the cow's tail, and pointing, shouted to the wife, "this looks like yours". I dont remember much after she hit me with the 5 iron..."
"I was playing golf" says the man. "Golf", says the doctor, "how on earth did all this happen playing golf?"
"Well says the man, me and the Missus were playing at Brora - you know, its one of those courses where livestock are allowed to graze on the course. Well , the missus sliced her tee shot on the 10th and it went right over to where a herd of cows were grazing. So we went to look for it.
I found a ball and asked her, "is this yours". "No" she said, "its not got my mark on it". After finding several balls, none of which had her mark on it we were about to give up. But then I noticed a cow swishing its tail, and there appeared to be something white behind it. So l lifted up the cow's tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball wedged in the cow's backside. And it had her mark on it.
So, I held up the held up the cow's tail, and pointing, shouted to the wife, "this looks like yours". I dont remember much after she hit me with the 5 iron..."
SatchFan
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Your one stop shop.
BubbaP
Occasional Player of Golf
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Why are Timpsons closed?
Surely they are key workers
Surely they are key workers
Mudball
Assistant Pro
Also posted to the political thread..
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rosecott
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Our golf WhatsApp group has introduced fines for posting things that have been previously posted.
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............................... and where did I miss that?
