humanist ceremonies

[williamalex1]

sad and happy

we've just got home from my wife's younger 63yr old sister's funeral and i've had a few so sorry to depress you all .she was the middle sister of the 3 and she'd had health problems for 30yrs but always up for fun . her wishes were that her service should be bright and as cheerful as possible. no one to wear black . so the family decided on a humanist ceremony, i was worried to start with but once we met with the guy he made us all look at this sad time in a different way remembering all the good and funny times we all had with her throughtout the years . he took all the stories the family and friends gave him over a few days via meetings , text , phone and email to make a script of her life and he passed it back and forth to us by email so we could edit and alter and add to untill we thought thats what he should say at the service .playing music by abba , the drifters . tina turner ect. everyone was happy sad happy . if the holy holys don't like it tough


. i've booked him for mine not too soon i hope . different music though

whats your wishes ?

ps the poem i posted a few days ago was picked by her

 

[chrisd]

Sorry about your loss

I am becoming less religious as I get older and went to a humanist funeral a while back and, for sure, sad as it was, at least the service was all about the person and not 75% about praising the religious dogma! I would certainly go down that route when my time comes. My brother in law is a funeral director and humanist funerals are certainly catching on more these days

 

[Garesfield ACE]

Hi
My ex mother in law died last December and it was a humunous service.It went very well.I was impressed.

Kev

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Attended one last year, much more like what I would like to have.
At the same time my friend and neighbour is the local minister and he does a cracking 'non believer' service with the minimum of religious stuff.

 

[Khamelion]

My uncle passed last year, neither him nor my aunty were religious, so he had a humanist or as my dad kept saying a humourist ceromony. The humanist was very good and relayed all the things the various relatives had told him, we entered the room to the Rolling Stones, 19th Nervous breakdown, had Colours of my life by the Seekers as everyone was allowed to pause for thought and with both my uncle and aunty being bg George Thorogood fans, they travelled to the US a few times to see him, we left the room to the sounds of Bad to the Bone. The humanist left not a dry eye in the room but also left everyone feeling up beat and with happy memories of my uncle, it's bringing a tear to my eye writing this but also a big smile.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

My mums funeral was traditional but I did the reading which I think (hope) was a little bit of light in the proceedings. Very light and focused on the plus side and ignored the battle with cancer although she was brave and stoic until the end. Never considered a humanist ceremony but as I'm not religious it's an interesting option

 

[Fader]

I went to a humanist service a couple of years back after the loss of my uncle.

Have to say it was very nice (as nice as these sad things can be) and was actually about him as a person and how he affected us and not about the usual religous psycho babble these things tend to get lost in.

 

[ScienceBoy]

I dont like people making a fuss over me, I have no want for any poems or music.

I would like to choose the party snacks though...

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

sad and happy

...if the holy holys don't like it tough.

Pray tell - why would the holy holys not like it?

And if, as seems so far here, most are for minimising the religious content of a funeral; some would do away with it altogether, and would rather the holy holys keep out of the way - then why are the holy holys being told 'sod you lot' you change what many of you hold dear in respect of marriage? Strange isn't it how sop many like to pick and choose what they want on religion - when it isn't really like that.

Psalm 121 would do nicely as it happens.

 

[Khamelion]

Pray tell - why would the holy holys not like it?

And if, as seems so far here, most are for minimising the religious content of a funeral; some would do away with it altogether, and would rather the holy holys keep out of the way - then why are the holy holys being told 'sod you lot' you change what many of you hold dear in respect of marriage? Strange isn't it how sop many like to pick and choose what they want on religion - when it isn't really like that.

Psalm 121 would do nicely as it happens.

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, my daughter is not baptised, if she deems it necessary or finds it is required through a relationship she may have, then she can choose to get baptised. I am not married and I have been living with HID for coming up to 18 years, why get married and spoil a perfectly good relationship and when it comes to my death I will make sure then I have prepared well in advance and give those that remember me a damn good party.

 

[6inchcup]

i was debating this last year and wrote that i wanted a non religious service in my will,next to my friends house are two large woods that have had permission to be used for burials what could be nicer than knowing you will be spending eternity under a nice oak tree.

 

[Khamelion]

Pray tell - why would the holy holys not like it?

I find it quite odd that some who by the tone of the reply and the ability to suggest an appropriate psalm starts the reply with "pray tell..." which to the devout may be construed as blasphemous.

Psalm 121 would do nicely as it happens.

I had to refer to google to find out what was written in psalm 121 and I dare say those that follow the word written in the bible will no doubt find strength and/or comfort from reading it.

I will add though even though I am not religous I do occasionally listen to the Chris Even Breakfast show and I sometime catch the pause for thought were he has different people for the various religions passing on their thoughts and there was one women, not sure of her faith, but she said something which has stuck with me.

"If you always do what you have done, you will always get what you have got"

I thought that very apt as the daily grind of getting up going to work, coming home, going to bed, is just repeated over and over and for many will not change through out their lives.

And the same quote also applies to everything including golf, if you slice the ball and you do not try to correct it, you will always slice the ball.

The point being you have to want to make the change for the change to happen.

 

[Khamelion]

i was debating this last year and wrote that i wanted a non religious service in my will,next to my friends house are two large woods that have had permission to be used for burials what could be nicer than knowing you will be spending eternity under a nice oak tree.

I've seen something similar where you can been buried in a biodegradable container, basically a cardboard box coffin, without the metal handles and you are buried in woodland, no headstone to mark the spot, just you, nature, the worms and the trees.

 

[williamalex1]

I find it quite odd that some who by the tone of the reply and the ability to suggest an appropriate psalm starts the reply with "pray tell..." which to the devout may be construed as blasphemous.



I had to refer to google to find out what was written in psalm 121 and I dare say those that follow the word written in the bible will no doubt find strength and/or comfort from reading it.

I will add though even though I am not religous I do occasionally listen to the Chris Even Breakfast show and I sometime catch the pause for thought were he has different people for the various religions passing on their thoughts and there was one women, not sure of her faith, but she said something which has stuck with me.

"If you always do what you have done, you will always get what you have got"

I thought that very apt as the daily grind of getting up going to work, coming home, going to bed, is just repeated over and over and for many will not change through out their lives.

And the same quote also applies to everything including golf, if you slice the ball and you do not try to correct it, you will always slice the ball.

The point being you have to want to make the change for the change to happen.

When i started the post just after returning from my sis inlaws funeral and as i said after a good few drinks , but the holy holys i was refering to were a couple of older members of the family who had not even visited while she was ill in hospital for weeks or called or seen in umpteen years. My sis asked for this type of funeral and thats what she got . have your opinion but don't interfere when you don't know the facts . very insensitive

 

[Khamelion]

When i started the post just after returning from my sis inlaws funeral and as i said after a good few drinks , but the holy holys i was refering to were a couple of older members of the family who had not even visited while she was ill in hospital for weeks or called or seen in umpteen years. My sis asked for this type of funeral and thats what she got . have your opinion but don't interfere when you don't know the facts . very insensitive

The post from which you quote me, I believe you have taken out of context, in that reply I was infact replying to swingsitlikehogan and not your original post. My post in message #5 is my reply to, your original post.

If you read my first reply (message #5), you'll see that I'm all for the humanist approach, as I wrote my late uncle opted for this type of service and the gentleman who performed said service was very good, he made everyone who turned up, cry, laugh and remember a much loved family member but also someone who was greatly respected by those whom with he worked.

My post (number 12 in this thread) is quoting from swingsitlikehogan's post and I am repsonding to his words, not your orignal post.

However, in your original post, you write

if the holy holys don't like it tough

Now you do not say who the 'holy holys' are, but reading you original post it is easy to take your meaning as anyone who sees a traditional burial or cremation as the proper send off, you do not write that these holy holys were family members and from the way you end you sentence with the above quote, which is quite abrupt, it is obvious that you do not give two hoots for these people. Who now is being insenstive?

I'm truly sorry for your loss and I mean no disrespect as you grieve as losing a close family member is never easy, but you need to read the context of the posts in the order they are written so as not to misinterpret the meaning.

 

[williamalex1]

i only asked what your wishes would be for your funeral , not to get involved in any kind of debate about my views . and im sorry i answered to the wrong post and that i did not explain myself right

 

[DappaDonDave]

We're doing something similar for my grandad who died on Monday. We're not religious and he certainly wasn't, I couldn't sit there and listen to a priest talk about god etc was bad enough hid wanted a church wedding!

 

[Hobbit]

Having been to good and bad funerals by both Humanists and the clergy I couldn't give toss who does mine for 2 simple reasons. 1) the funeral seems to matter more to those still living, and 2) I'll be just teeing off on the back nine on the great golf course in the sky.

That said, the only thing I've asked for is "always look on the bright side of life" from the Life of Brian.

Yours, Brian

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

BTW - main reason I know of Psalm 121 is cos I had it at my wedding - and I'm not allowed to forget that I'm married

And I was only asking why anyone would think that 'holy holys' might be bothered about humanist funerals. Some with strong religious convictions might not be sure about whether churches are the right place for humanist funerals, and might also prefer a traditional funeral service - but that's what traditionalists tend to think about anything new or different within the bounds of the spiritual world (can that be bounded - not sure)

 

[Doon frae Troon]

I tell you what I don't like about funerals, when there are 200 folk in the church who have come to see off good old Bill and the minister insists to call him by his Christend name of Norman.