How do I approach the subject of slow play with my PP?

[dufferman]

Let me explain the situation:

I play with the same group of friends & family week in, week out. Normally a four-ball or three-ball, from a group of 5/6 people (not everyone can make each week).

One person in our group is painfully slow. He is 54 years old, and isn't in the greatest of health, but nothing to stop him playing golf quicker -

He is never 'ready to play' - he'll always watch everyone else play before preparing to take his shot.

He has a good 20 second routine before hitting a ball, including two or three practice swings.

He has head covers on his irons. This leads to more faffing around in finding the right club than it does stop damage to his irons.

He will stand next to a green marking his card, putting the head cover back on his putter and possibly his PW he used to chip onto the green, not getting out of the way of people behind and taking an age to move onto the next tee.

He's not a particularly long hitter, but insists in honors on the tee rather than letting him tee off first.

He's a proud man, who isn't influenced by the likes of Keegan Bradley's pre-shot routine, just set in his ways.

His average score is around the 100 mark.

He doesn't like to use a buggy as it's 'anti-social' when everyone else is carrying / trollying... sharing a buggy with him is a nightmare, that isn't an option.

So, what do I do? I'm becoming less tolerant of his play each week. I've started making a big fuss of letting people play through, as in making sure he's aware that the reason we're letting people play through is because of the long time we are taking to play each hole, and telling him that I feel like I'm under pressure when I know there is a group behind waiting to play and we're taking so long. And that isn't a lie, I feel like I'm rushing my shots and playing worse because of his slowness, trying to make up time by rushing my shots. Playing in a 2 ball 9 holes takes me under 1 1/2 hours, so I know I'm not a slow player.

Any help would be great. I'm not going to stop playing with him, he's part of the group and can't just shun him. I'm also not interested in getting rude or angry with him, again, this is friends and family we're talking about, not just a random I've met on the course. I feel like I'm having the fun sapped from my game, and being a 9-5 Monday to Friday kinda guy, my one game on a weekend can often be the highlight of the weekend!

Thanks for letting me just get it off my chest for a start!!

 

[CMAC]

Right, first of all he seems like a kind soul and as you've said a proud man. I'll wager he's not stupid either and an open honest discussion with him casting NO blame is the way to go. It should be off the course over a social drink, tell him he is a valued friend and you see him possibly struggling a bit and is there anything YOU can do to help him enjoy his round more. That opens the door to mention (no blame again) that we've had to let groups through and WE are all guilty of taking a bit too long at each hole blah blah

You get the idea, the key is you want him still in the group and he's a friend, so treat him like a friend and not an FC that's annoying you.

I'm sure you would like that courtesy if the roles were reversed?

 

[6inchcup]

i used to play with my brother in law who was just the same,took ages to pick a club had umpteen practice swings looked at putts from every angle known to man and this was in every game even a QUICK 9 holes after work,in the end after some of my mates told me they would not play with us again i dropped a hint about his slow play and made a joke about it he got the message and was ok for a few rounds then dropped back into his old ways,when i mentioned it he decided to stop playing and the atmosphere was a bit icy when i called round his house,he now plays social golf at the local muni and he enjoys it,i think your friend needs a bit of a quit word about his slow play,and marking cards next to a green is a no no for anyone anyway.

 

[guest100718]

tell him to hurry up.....

 

[duncan mackie]

this is an extremely common situation - well done for posting so fully about it.

don't expect him to change overnight

don't joke about the issue

explain to him exactly how you feel; best to establish that others in the group feel the same way but do not gang up on him

explain that you really want to play with him, but the way he's going about his round is making it a misery as you re constantly having to consider other players on the course and, effectively, are forced to hurry most of the time

be clear that it's nothing to do with his speed of walking

show him how the R&A have even changed the etiquette section and now advise players to all go to their balls if safe rather than all wait before moving on while one plays

be clear this isn't about turning a round of golf into a race; it's about enabling everyone, including you,him and others on the course to enjoy their round(s)

 

[dufferman]

Thank you all. I have yet to brave the 'chat' off the course, I'm worried that it might come across as me telling him he's getting on a bit, especially since I'm half his age (almost).

We're due to play twice this bank holiday weekend, so maybe I can grab a beer with him & start the conversation.

 

[lex!]

Best of luck with chat, this is a really tricky situation.

 

[patricks148]

Just tell your Dad to shape up or he's going in a Carehome

 

[CMAC]

Thank you all. I have yet to brave the 'chat' off the course, I'm worried that it might come across as me telling him he's getting on a bit, especially since I'm half his age (almost).

We're due to play twice this bank holiday weekend, so maybe I can grab a beer with him & start the conversation.

Getting on a bit!!! He's younger than me and I'm the fastest in any group I play plus no-one, and I mean no-one ever overtakes me on a pavement walking. I wouldn't take it that way, he hopefully won't either when you communicate it correctly.

 

[Martin70]

I'd bottle it and tell him someone came up to me after a round after being stuck behind you and very pleasantly suggested marking the card on the tee etc

 

[lex!]

Could you not talk indirectly to him, when he is there, by addressing your playing party about slow play, and the things that you have all been advised to speed up on today by the powers that be? Maybe a bit of peer pressure? Get everyone to nod?

 

[Beezerk]

Sorry if I've missed this bit but how do the rest of the group feel about his slow play? Are they taking it as badly as you are?

 

[dufferman]

Sorry if I've missed this bit but how do the rest of the group feel about his slow play? Are they taking it as badly as you are?

One, is vocally, but due to just getting married isn't out too often at the moment. Another is new to the group (my sister's fella), and although has said things can get slow, hasn't explicitly said anything about who.

I've tried the 'Come on guys, we're really slow today, that's the 3rd group we've let play through' etc but nothing seems to work.

Last week we let one group play through but teed off at 2pm so quite late in the day, course was quiet. Week before that we let three groups through, week before that the same...

 

[richart]

Ditch the old git. 54 is way too old to be out playing golf.

 

[Beezerk]

One, is vocally, but due to just getting married isn't out too often at the moment. Another is new to the group (my sister's fella), and although has said things can get slow, hasn't explicitly said anything about who.

I've tried the 'Come on guys, we're really slow today, that's the 3rd group we've let play through' etc but nothing seems to work.

Last week we let one group play through but teed off at 2pm so quite late in the day, course was quiet. Week before that we let three groups through, week before that the same...

3 groups wow lol.
Shouldn't laugh as I feel your pain mate, defo take the advice already given, quiet word over a pint.

 

[Francisceo]

Just tell your Dad to shape up or he's going in a Carehome

:whoo: had to chuckle at that...

 

[golfdub]

Do what everyone does at my club shout over to him while his faffing around to 'hurry up jim' just say it a bit sarcasticly so he knows your serious but still being friendly at the same time or even when someone is playing up your backside just tell him 'we better speed up as the up our backside so get ready to take your shot'

 

[drdel]

Surely if you are a group of friends who've played together frequently it should be easy enough to say "C'mon mate we need to speed up 'cause I'd like to get home for breakfast".

The mates I play with would soon rib each other about a problem without getting all heavy and psychological.

Stop second guessing, just say what you think !

 

[BoadieBroadus]

the guy who's getting married isn't ever going to be playing the same amoutn of golf ever again, so i reckon he should take one for the team and let the slow man have it both barrels home truths in an expletive laden rant.

then you just nod sagely and say "i don't think he went about it the right way, but i think he does have a point..."

then he'll either shape up or stop playing and will blame mr getting married. and your weekend gets its highlight back.

 

[Alex1975]

No games, no sorrys, no rudeness, its a straight up chat, be yourself. He need not move any faster, he just needs to move sooner. While other are playing shots he needs to be getting ready, yardage, wind, plan, club, his bag needs to be left on the exit of the hole and so on. Non of this is about being old, its about being ready and as such there is no need to rush.

If he is proud and is told he will sort it in short order.

"Dude/bro/Dad (whatever soft tone word you use when your about to try and help someone help you) I am feeling rushed on the course and I want to feel comfortable, please can you be a little more ready bla bla bla. It will really help my game and I bet it will help yours."


This guy is your friend, just talk to him like a friend!