Golf sayings that get on your proverbials...

[ventura]

Oh you've been playing golf this morning, did you win?

Well there's 150 people playing today, I was in the fourth group out and the results won't be posted for 2 days. I'm not sure yet!

 

[Idlenorth1]

An older member I played with last year said to me after I had topped it off the tee, " that my boy was premature adulation"
It made us all laugh and whenever I see someone top it now or do it myself I always think of that comment, lightens the mood

 

[Sir Scoop-A-Lot]

Mine is definitely.... you have to keep your head down

 

[Allanxyz]

Mine is definitely.... you have to keep your head down

Definitely this... for two reasons.
Firstly you're not in the best of moods as you've just topped it
Secondly this is a dead give away that the person has no idea about golf and is the last person who should be giving out advice, invariably I've been given this advice by someone who's been hacking their way round the course.

 

[3565]

That just seems someone trying to be nice in winning

Players do have "those days"

or it could be rubbing salt into the wound, it's bad enough getting a hammering, but when they say that..........

 

[Franco]

I am a novice, and notice that FCs become upset at my lack of gratitude when they 'help' me with 'You lifted your head' and 'Don't try to hit it so far'. I really need to exercise self-control when I hear 'Too hard' when the ball goes two yards past the cup.

 

[Evesdad]

What's wrong with a par for 4 points? Someone played well, and probably well above their standard.

Its the 8 for a point that winds me up. A triple bogey gets a point?!?!?

Had both in my round on Saturday!

 

[mchacker]

As above, any misplaced (well intentioned or otherwise) advice is met with a grunt while I try not to bark a forceful instruction to be quiet with a particular focus on four letters. All the other I can take as it's just someone trying to make conversation, Can't say I'm a fan of awkward silences, not least when someone is obviously fuming after blading a wedge. In fact thinking about it, I quite welcome the silly comments as it takes the focus of my mind away from the bad shot.

That said, no pictures on a scorecard doesn't fit the way I like to play the game so not a big fan of that one.

 

[Big D 88]

When someone tee's off...Poses...bends down picks their tee up..turns arounds smugly and replaces the headcover to their driver

Then we walk down the fairway to ,

'Did you see where my ball entered the rough'

 

[backwoodsman]

I'm with those in the don't like "SIT" or "BITE" group. I know I've thinned it; they know I've thinned it; yet still they say it even though we both know it's not going to stop until it's 50 yards past the green. Grrr.

And when I leave a putt a foot short, the next person who who says "Did you know it's been proved that 95% of short putts don't go in the hole" is going to get my putter inserted somewhere south.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

People who say "good shot" as soon as you've made contact. And then when it flies straight into the rough, a bunker or trees, "that was unlucky". No it's the fact that you're a complete nob (copyright Smiffy 2006-2013).

 

[ArnoldArmChewer]

Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.

 

[Slab]

Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.

To be honest I think its the sayings themselves that are the issue, not the players.

Most of these sayings were probably uttered within 2 weeks of the game being invented and (other than updating a few with relevant names) have remained unchanged

We need some new, original...and genuinely funny ones. I'd start a list but the only laugh out loud one I've heard recently might not be deemed forum safe

 

[Stuey01]

Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.

I love all these sayings, just a bit of fun aren't they. I'm just tossing them out there on this thread to see if they get a reaction.
Not at the North Hants thing though so no help to you...

 

[User20205]

I love all these sayings, just a bit of fun aren't they...

Nope, they are toe curling and should incur some kind of penalty under the rules of golf


At HFH there should be some kind of fines system set up. £10 a cliche :thup:

 

[dewsweeper]

Playing an inter club vets 4 ball ,one of our opponents hit one into the trees to the left of the fairway.He asked if anyone had seen it finish ,my partener, a very well spoken chap replied "yes,you are arborially challenged".
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"You're in the ******* trees his fc replied!

 

[Birchy]

Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.

 

[Rooter]

Nope, they are toe curling and should incur some kind of penalty under the rules of golf


At HFH there should be some kind of fines system set up. £10 a cliche :thup:

That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?

 

[Hammertoe]

I remember a few guys I used to play with when younger and when anyone hit a good shot they would shout 'great hands' which I just thought ridiculous and could never understand, also if anyone got the slighest bit of backspin they would make this noise like 'whooooooooooop', god they used to annoy me.

But on the other hand I do quite like a lot of golf 'catchphrases', I used to play in a small society with an elder gentleman who by his own admission was not a great golfer, and if he hit a bad shot he would say 'I was lucky I even hit that' which used to crack me up and one of my favourites is 'oh it wiped its feet' if a putt runs the hole before dropping.

 

[ArnoldArmChewer]

That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?

Can I play with you ?