Not sure I can face the all consuming nature of golf again.

[Slime]

You must give it another go, but without any expectations.
If you play with the right set of partners, golf can just be so funny!
Watch a few GoodGood videos on YouTube.
Gold needn't be competitive at all.
Good company, loads of banter, fabulous scenery, plenty of exercise and a nice pint after.
Perfect.

Oh, and I wish you well.

 

[Crow]

12 years? From the equipment changes you describe it sounds more like 32.

To answer the question, keep away, don't let golf suck you back in.

 

[chrisd]

If you aren't going to play for a living then just play as well as you are able, try to learn to enjoy it and accept you'll never play as well as you'd like to - even Rory would like to play better. At least you have the capability to play better than 95% of the golfing members at any club so just relax and enjoy!

 

[IanM]

I was always a cricketer. No one in my family played golf.

Folk I knew played, so I began. Golf was always just a diversion. But I loved the diversity of courses and their landscapes. I loved the fact you could go and play at the cathedrals of the game. I love the fact you can play with strangers, your mates or on your own.

I also fish... I can find the same "equilibrium" on the course that I do fishing. The fresh air, the landscape, the environment.

That's because for me there's more to it than the score. (Although I accept this sometimes negatively impacts my own handicap!) But I can play crap and still have a decent time. Mind you, a mate of mine is the polar opposite! We're all different.

Hence, think about the benefits and what makes you play. Can any of that be reframed? Does it need to be?

If elements of anything cause stress/anxiety/annoyance, they need avoiding or repackaging.

Hope you suss it out!

 

[Curls]

Welcome back

Maybe a return to those heady days when you had no expectations and enjoyed the thrash would be a good thing? From what you’ve read I can identify two no-brainer reasons to get a set of modern clubs (think more Mizuno irons than some of the GI stuff imo, you don’t want or need shovels). Those reason being

1. You’d get to spend more quality time with your kids, which many people enjoy more than the game itself.

2. No slight intended, it sounds like you could do with losing a few pounds. Turn that addictive personality towards something positive and take your health more seriously with golf as the catalyst. Make your goal to walk and carry during practice at least. Forget whatever your handicap was or is it will be, everyone’s got a number, turns out no one really gives a damn what it is only you. That goes for almost every golfer I know.

Get yourself some nice shiney things. Worst you can do is quit. There’s far more in the potential positive column imo. Wishing you a happy, healthy 2024!

 

[Mustardears1]

Good to know It’s not only me. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

 

[jim8flog]

I have reached an age whereby I have stopped being competitive not just because of handicap but mainly through mental attitude towards the game.

These days I just go out with the intention of enjoying the game and take whatever it throws at me. When playing with just one particular mate we often walk in before the end of the round as we have had enough enjoyment. there is a point on the course around the 14th where it is easy to either walk in or continue to the end.

I still play in seniors Monday comps mainly because it is the only way to get a round in on a Monday morning. I always try to get a 2 simply because I get the entry fee back.

To me the most important aspect is the social side.

The thing that will make me give up is injuries, which have become a lot worse with age.

 

[Skytot]

In my 20's and 30's I thoroughly enjoyed the 6-8 rounds I played a year with very little expectation, treating it a bit like a cross between cricket and hockey whilst playing to a handicap of 15 which rarely altered much.

I was diagnosed with a medical condition when I turned 40 which the doctors thought competitive golf could help me with, so I dedicated most of my spare time to practice and gameplay and over the next 3 years reduced my handicap down to 2.8.

The result of this was that i absolutely hated the game. I was un-able to just have a hit around with my friends and anything over a 75 would result in entire weekends being wasted as I wallowed in my own misery.

Golf is a game of disappointment on the whole, as one rarely hits the shot that you know you can, at the time it is needed. When you hit it to 5 feet from 190 yards uphill into the wind, why didn't you hit it to 2 feet as you have done at some time in the past? Lip out from 40 feet and you are sure that you've holed from that distance at some stage. Other people cant understand it as to them you are playing like a God, so you spend the whole time in a constant state of not letting the beast from within bubble to the surface, for fear that you may actually drown your playing partners in the pond in front of the clubhouse!

One day I woke up and decided that I did not get one ounce of joy from golf so put my clubs in the barn and have not gone anywhere near them since. No more Golf Channel, no more Golf Monthly, nothing! Cold Turkey for me. I cut every thought and golf paraphernalia from my life entirely and that was just over 12 years ago!

Why am I sharing this with you after so many years?

Well, my two sons bought us a couple of hours on the indoor simulator which they thought would be great fun and something that we could all be competitive at. I might add that they are both International sportsmen in their own right but had never really tried golf apart from the odd thrash with beer at a TopGolf facility somewhere.

Having given me much abuse, they pushed me forward for 5 practice shots and then straight into combat. Looking down at what used to be irons that were quite large enough to get the job done, my tiny blades looked like a training aid and there seemed to be a large stomach where the ball used to be visible. Honestly having made a half swing with said 6 iron, I nearly had a wiff! Straight up I nearly missed the ball altogether. The boys howled with laughter. I didn't! After four more slightly better efforts, it was time to tee off. Out come the big dog as these boys needed to be silenced.....and the face was soooooo much bigger! Despite only putting half swings on both my drive and approach I some how birdied the 1st and the gallery was silent!

From then on it was all over the place with much barracking, probably more by me at my offspring than the other way around, but we had great fun and something that I would love to do again.

Within hours of getting home, all of my kit had been retrieved from the barn and what the mice hadn't eaten, was being hosed down and disinfected. I had started to read Golf Monthly and You Tube was showing all sorts of golf clips. I can feel it reeling me in.

This is where you come in.

Knowing my addictive personality, 5 stone weight gain and a swing speed which will be about half of what it used to be, do I let myself get sucked back into golf?

Clubs are different, balls are different, spin rates are the opposite to what we looked for. Can I accept that every shot will be a disappointment for some considerable time? Can I get my body to turn, my old clubs with poker shafts and bladed heads to work with a non spinning/low compression ball? Drivers used to be about controlling the spin from a high swing speed and balls were either hard or soft. You see the dilemma I'm sure, but I am genuinely torn. I am not one for doing anything half heartedly, and I don't enjoy doing things badly but then I do enjoy the peace and tranquility of trout fishing in the chalkstream's of southern England even when we don't catch anything. Go figure?

Damn these children. I suspect they the knew all along that they were opening Pandora's box!

I would really like to hear your views and maybe you may have even faced the same issue during your own golfing journey?

I had something similar. 14/15 years totally out of the game . Came back 2 years ago and it’s basically taken over my life again but in a good way . Play 3 to 4 times a week in the summer , got some new mates and basically have a great time . I thought your post was brilliant, very well written. Look forward to hearing about your new golfing journey.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

OP states that ‘golf is a game of disappointment’. Right there is where it goes wrong for so many and quite possibly our dear discombobulated OPer.

Golf certainly does throw up plenty of disappointments, but it is also rich in reward. The key to accessing the reward is acceptance. Golf is a game that uses the players ability to accept the disappointments and manage negative projection as the means to unlocking the treasure chest of reward it offers. Acceptance is the key.

 

[Jason.H]

I came back from a 13 year break and love the game as much if not more now than I did then.

This year the only disappointment has been not performing in the various open tournaments I entered but I will be trying again next year.

Having got down to a 2 index and feeling like I’m not yet close to my potential keeps me interested.

The camaraderie from scratch team to new friends made makes it well worth while to me.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Just for clarification, the OP has not been banned. The account was duplicated and one of his accounts was ended. @Mustardears will be continuing to post

 

[Jason.H]

OP states that ‘golf is a game of disappointment’. Right there is where it goes wrong for so many and quite possibly our dear discombobulated OPer.

Golf certainly does throw up plenty of disappointments, but it is also rich in reward. The key to accessing the reward is acceptance. Golf is a game that uses the players ability to accept the disappointments and manage negative projection as the means to unlocking the treasure chest of reward it offers. Acceptance is the key.

I agree 100%. The sooner a golfer accepts whatever outcome comes from every shot the better.

 

[Voyager EMH]

@Mustardears, why are your ears burning?

 

[Albo]

The top 0.0001% of golfers on the planet hit bad shots and play bad rounds, they have made many more hole outs from 150 or shots to inches yet fail to do so many many more times than they do.
You are not and never will be as good as them, so either manage your expectations or don’t bother with golf because playing a game that the best in the world never tame and expecting to do so yourself is setting yourself up for failure. Ruining your weekend and those around you because you shoot greater than 75 is, I’m sorry for the reality check here, pathetic and childish and a terrible example to set your children.

 

[Slab]

Go out with your sons or mates for a few rounds, not to win club champs but like top golf, because it'll be fun

What's so wrong with having fun?

And then decide whether you want more than an occasional round for fun

And if you do then use it as a vehicle to get fitter and shed that 5st gut you're carrying around, so even if you can't break 80 you'll still be a winner by being slimmer and fitter and you still get to have fun round half a dozen times a year

Really what's to lose?

 

[Captain_Black.]

The top 0.0001% of golfers on the planet hit bad shots and play bad rounds, they have made many more hole outs from 150 or shots to inches yet fail to do so many many more times than they do.
You are not and never will be as good as them, so either manage your expectations or don’t bother with golf because playing a game that the best in the world never tame and expecting to do so yourself is setting yourself up for failure. Ruining your weekend and those around you because you shoot greater than 75 is, I’m sorry for the reality check here, pathetic and childish and a terrible example to set your children.

A bit harsh tbh.
Most of us aspire to play the best we can & it's only natural that we get disappointed when a shot goes bad or we don't perform in the way we know we can.
That shows we care about our golf.
What is important is the ability to shrug those disappointments off & realise that we don't play for a living.
We play golf for enjoyment.
When I play well, I can't wait for my next game.
When I play badly, I can't wait to return & try to play better.
If the time ever comes that golf becomes a chore or it a negative impact on other aspects of life, then it's time to stop.

 

[Crazyface]

I thought I was helping. But, I'm occasionally wrong and maybe a tad forthright.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Should the OP want to consider continuing with golf then I suggest a listen to Karl Morris' podcast Mind Caddy may give some nuggets of gold for accepting golf is hard and managing expectations. It is a game that can never be won or owned so accept your limitations and embrace the challenge. If not then you are on a pathway to disappointment anger and frustration

 

[Voyager EMH]

I think the OP is too wrapped up in the all-consuming hobby of writing fiction to be ever bothered with playing golf.

 

[Jason.H]

Ive stopped playing with someone partly because of his negative outlook and constant moaning about literally everything. Even in the height of summer when the course it at its best he complains about things.
There has been occasions in competitions where I’d had a great card going and feel like his negative outpouring grated on me enough to ruin my game .
Im going to be more selective of who I tee it up with. I mean life’s to short right.