Dementia Awareness

Thread starter #341

Lord Tyrion

Money List Winner
Joined
Sep 9, 2014
Messages
19,095
Location
Northumberland
I

MiL got a phone call.whilst we were away last Monday. Bottom line, they are looking at getting FIL into some kind of respite care 1 day a week at the moment with them both going to groups that deal with dementia/ alziemers. This has been mentioned before but MIL has not chased it up when suggested to her.
We found up here that respite care was only available for a minimum 1 week stay, where available at all. You may have more provision but bear in mind, particularly in a covid era, you may not get exactly what you want. A degree of flexibility may be needed.

In all honesty, 1 day is barely respite but I appreciate it may be a case of baby steps.
 

Tashyboy

Money List Winner
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
13,639
We found up here that respite care was only available for a minimum 1 week stay, where available at all. You may have more provision but bear in mind, particularly in a covid era, you may not get exactly what you want. A degree of flexibility may be needed.

In all honesty, 1 day is barely respite but I appreciate it may be a case of baby steps.
I hope it is just a start. Been out of the loop the last 10 days With jols..normal service resumes on Wednesday
0 fays
 

pauldj42

Money List Winner
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
15,871
Location
Seaham
We found up here that respite care was only available for a minimum 1 week stay, where available at all. You may have more provision but bear in mind, particularly in a covid era, you may not get exactly what you want. A degree of flexibility may be needed.

In all honesty, 1 day is barely respite but I appreciate it may be a case of baby steps.
I think it varies mate, fil went in for 2 weeks respite. That was a few years back so may of changed due to availability etc.
 
Thread starter #344

Lord Tyrion

Money List Winner
Joined
Sep 9, 2014
Messages
19,095
Location
Northumberland
I think it varies mate, fil went in for 2 weeks respite. That was a few years back so may of changed due to availability etc.
Very much so. We originally looked at putting my MiL in for a couple of days but soon discovered 1 week was the minimum option. No doubt it will vary from area to area, some shorter, some longer. I just wanted Tashy to be aware of that and be prepared.

Covid has messed this up as well, homes don't want as much movement as they used to for obvious reasons.
 

Robster59

Tour Rookie
Joined
Aug 7, 2015
Messages
3,870
Location
Newton Mearns
Before he went in permanently, we put the FiL in for respite 2 or 3 times for various lengths. He was a little more with-it at the time and wasn't particularly happy about going in. Also, the home he went in to originally for respite was commercial (the one he is now is a charity) and so whilst the care was OK, I know from other people I know in the Care business that costs are always an issue. The one he is in now is a charitable institution and they tend to have more long-term staff which means more continuity for the residents. Even if he is only going in for a day (or a few days), do some research, visit the places, understand their ethos, as the impression they make on his first visit can have an impact on the way they view going into a home for the longer term. I know my FiL didn't want to go back to the first home but is perfectly settled now in his new one.
 

Tashyboy

Money List Winner
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
13,639
Sat watching the second episode of dementia and it’s Heartbreaking.

This year.
FIL is the same old same old With his demen
MiL had breast removed through cancer
Mother hopefully comes out of hospital tomorrow having had Gall stones removed today.
Monday just gone. Well not one of me best days. Having spoken to Missis T I decided to talk to me dad about his memory problems. Bottom line he has started with similar symptoms to FIL a few years back. I went to the drs and made him an appointment for Monday. I also spoke to him about stopping driving. It was heartbreaking. Me and me brother have kept an eye on them for years. Me other brother and sister have turned up and bottom line it is creating a split. Me dad has mentioned to me brother who has been helping that he has a hearing test on Monday.
A testing few years ahead I think.
 

Tashyboy

Money List Winner
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
13,639
That's a heck of a conversation, hellish tough. The rest of your family being on the same hymn sheet is massive in helping you all through this. Keep well 👍
Me and Missis T had four nights in Torquay last week. Me younger brother kept an eye on our parents. I kept in touch with me other bro and sis. I told them both re the conversation I was going to have with me dad re driving and dementia. He said “ leave him there’s nowt you can do anyway”. I was bloody livid. My sister came up last Saturday primarily to see me mum in hospital, but the hospital will only see one person, me mum choose me. My sister has been round to see me dad once in 7 days. I hope the dr says your dad is just old (85). happy days, but it still leaves the problem of driving.
That programme last night was heartbreaking and all to familiar. There was things mentioned on that show that has been mentioned on this forum. ☹️
 
Thread starter #351

Lord Tyrion

Money List Winner
Joined
Sep 9, 2014
Messages
19,095
Location
Northumberland
The driving aspect is terrifying, both for them and anyone else on the road. It never ceases to amaze how casual people are about people with clear health deterioration carrying on driving when it is plain dangerous for everyone.

Have your brothers and sister been on a dementia friends course? If not it would be worth suggesting it to them. It massively helped me understand what was happening with my MiL and how to deal with her and the illness. My FiL, 3-4 years on, wouldn't do it, still doesn't have the first idea how to speak to her, help her etc. Thankfully she is now in a care home, being looked after properly and safely.
 

Tashyboy

Money List Winner
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
13,639
The driving aspect is terrifying, both for them and anyone else on the road. It never ceases to amaze how casual people are about people with clear health deterioration carrying on driving when it is plain dangerous for everyone.

Have your brothers and sister been on a dementia friends course? If not it would be worth suggesting it to them. It massively helped me understand what was happening with my MiL and how to deal with her and the illness. My FiL, 3-4 years on, wouldn't do it, still doesn't have the first idea how to speak to her, help her etc. Thankfully she is now in a care home, being looked after properly and safely.
Personally I don’t think either would bother going on the course. My sister has moved 70 miles away. I don’t think point blank she is interested. My elder brother, again he has moved 15 miles away and has other priorities. At the moment I think both me and my brother would be happier if they did what they do which is nothing. They told my father that they would take him out for a meal on Wednesday. He said 3 times in hospital he did not want to go as he never knew anything about it. He said “ first Ave known about it”, “ wish I had known”, “ no one told me”. They don’t understand. Like my younger brother said “ why were we not asked to go as a family anyway”. I feel a storm is brewing ☹️
 
Top