Becoming a parent / impact on your golf

[Chef1924]

For any keen golfer clearly priorities change dramatically when you are about to become a parent.

I was wondering what each of your experiences have been...

How often do you play now versus before becoming a parent?
Did you pause/give up your membership completely for a while? If so when did you feel able to play again?

 

[Orikoru]

Interested in this as our first is due end of January.

She has said she doesn't want to stop me playing and make me miserable. I am lucky that she's being born in the depth of winter as well because, while I'd normally play all year round, I have no qualms about taking a month or so off when it's frozen. Hopefully by 6 weeks or so I might be able to get out and play. Planning to give up the Sunday league footy and potentially play my golf on Sunday mornings instead of Saturday afternoons so I can be back by lunchtime. Probably not every week to start with but every other week or something. It will be a learning curve of course and we'll see what works out.

 

[sjw]

My main playing partner has a baby due xmas eve. I'm just lucky he's still being allowed to play at the moment!

 

[SyR]

It has really impacted the amount of golf I can play, especially as we don't live near family for support. With two young kids (3.5 years and 5 months), I'm lucky to sneak away to the range on the weekends for an hour or so if our baby boy has had a settled night. Before our youngest was born I already saw a glimmer of hope that more time could become available, but it currently feels like the counter has been reset on that. I'm hopeful that in a few years I can look at membership again.

 

[Mel Smooth]

Look at the positives, a few years down the line and you can take them out on the course with you. Been taking my lad for about 8 years now, he’s 12 - just find a nice short par 3 course until they grow a little. ?

 

[r0wly86]

massively affected me, like SyR I have two 2 years and a 6 month old. It's two much for me to expect my wife to look after both at a weekend for several hours while enjoy myself.

On top of that with the cost of child care, and generally how expensive children are, I struggle to justify membership (SW London) for the very infrequent use I will get out of it.

I am hoping that when the eldest is a few more years older I will be able to get him out on the course, it is then less of an issue if me playing is also childcare

 

[Albo]

For me, at the time, I had to reign in my golf when the first was born for a few months, nothing will prepare you for becoming a parent and everyone deals with it differently, a lot will depend on how the wee one is, settled night, sleeping/feeding patterns and how your partner is coping, depends how the baby is being fed she may be up throughout the night feeding and may be knackered during the day when you want to play golf. The baby may sleep well and she may love the bond and be happy for you to be out. As I say everyone is different, but just be prepared for things to change for a while.
Mine are now 11 and 8, so I get a lot more golf in, but around the times they do stuff, Sat and Sun morning are taken up with their football every week, so best I can do at weekends is afternoons, taking them to clubs after school takes a lot of time out of an evening, I’m lucky that working from home I can sometimes get away at 330 when the course is quiet and be back in time to take the to clubs for 6ish.
It’s fair to say life will be different for a few years, that won’t mean no golf but perhaps more flexibility and ensuring you give her time to get away from the stresses of baby.
It’s great though, totally great

 

[Sports_Fanatic]

I went down to a points membership when kids were under 5, but still played a fair bit thanks to a supportive wife.

Now tend to shift to more evenings or even shifting work calendar to play in week whilst kids are in school. Perhaps 2 weekend days a month in summer where i try to tee off either first thing or late afternoon but I've never been an every weekend roll up guy anyway as just too busy.

Yearly golf trip away is the harder one when the kids ask why you are going on holiday without them but it's important to try to get a balance between being dedicated to the family and keeping your own interests.

 

[jim8flog]

I feel lucky I changed my career in order for me to play more golf which also fitted in with family life. ( I used to have two mornings off every week).

The only concessions I really made were only one Saturday a month (medal day) and no golf when we all went on holiday which could mean most weeks in the school holidays.

My brother was only allowed to play golf if he took his kids with him. Luckily where we played they were very understanding.

 

[Crow]

I stopped playing for about 15 or 16 years bar the very occasional round.

 

[srixon 1]

I used to work shifts when my daughter was little. I didn’t play much on a weekend and the shifts were a weird system so I didn’t play much during the week either. However I did manage to practice quite a bit between school runs etc which probably helped get me to a low handicap.

 

[FredThursday]

A lot depends on the support network you have. Having said that even if you have grandparents close by, you’re still not going to be able to continue as before. Lots of additional demands on your time and funds, accept it and enjoy the time while the kids are young.

One tip - On coming home to a hassled wife (and screaming child) after playing golf all afternoon and being asked to iron a few vests. Don’t say “Can’t you do it as I’m feeling a bit tired“. If you do you’ll probably learn a view new words…..

 

[Canary_Yellow]

For any keen golfer clearly priorities change dramatically when you are about to become a parent.

I was wondering what each of your experiences have been...

How often do you play now versus before becoming a parent?
Did you pause/give up your membership completely for a while? If so when did you feel able to play again?

I played more or less every week before having kids.

Gave up my membership not long after having our first, was losing the benefit of reduced fees for under 30s at the same time.

When my oldest reached 18 months / 2 I was able to play quite a bit, but after having our second it was much harder again. Still is even with the youngest nearly four. Play once a month on average, but it’s more like 12 times in the 6 months March to sept / oct.

My third is due any day now. I’m hoping to be able to very occasionally go to the driving range and watch a few minutes of Sunday at the masters before falling asleep on the sofa ?

 

[OntheteeGavin]

I'm a points member, this will probably be my last season. Time is the issue massively. Only child is now 18 months old and my wife has started working some weekday nights and occasional Saturday afternoons, her choice.

Between gardening, fitness, DIY and golf something has to give.

 

[TheDiablo]

I’ve got 2 kids under 5. It hasn’t effected my playing time at all, I was always just once at a weekend and the odd summer evening. That’s the same now and I’ve kept my membership throughout

I take on 90%+ of the financial burden of the household, working really hard and it allows my wife to work a 2 day week in a job she loves. She looks after our youngest the other 3 days but spends a lot of time with other mums at classes and lunch!

At the weekend I usually play mornings and get back for 1ish - at which point we swap and I take the kids to give her a break. The other day we always do something as a 4

I have a night off in the week too, either golf in summer or a Thurs night out after work. She has a similar evening

It’s all about compromise and finding a balance that works for you, and communicating the importance of time for yourselves and why that will make you a better partner and parent. I couldn’t imagine just being a parent and a worker.

It will probably get tougher once the youngest reaches school age, with clubs and parties at weekends for both of them, but I’ll cross that in a couple of years and the golf membership isn’t going!!

 

[Pin-seeker]

I didn’t play much golf when my son was younger,probably once a week at the most.
He’s now 15 so hardly see him.
Enjoy them while they’re young & actually want to spend time with you ?

 

[DoubleD]

Was ok when they were younger but when they started going to various clubs I ran out of time. TKD gradings, gymnastic, football, dancing etc. I then got involved in coaching football and athletics and that effectively cancelled the golf for a few years. Unfortunately they both chose other sports over golf. I wouldn’t change a minute of it as it was very rewarding seeing them enjoying other sports. Now they are doing their own thing and don’t need me so I get some me time back.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Hasn’t really affected my golf too much - I play early on a Saturday by the time I come home they are just about ready to go out then we go and do something , Sundays she spends playing with her cousins

 

[Orikoru]

I'm a points member, this will probably be my last season. Time is the issue massively. Only child is now 18 months old and my wife has started working some weekday nights and occasional Saturday afternoons, her choice.

Between gardening, fitness, DIY and golf something has to give.

I'd probably sack off the gardening, the fitness and the DIY.

 

[Bunkermagnet]

I stopped playing when my eldest daughter was about 9 or 10 months old, and didn't touch a club again till she was about 12.