Orikoru
Tour Winner
I just went with that because that was the premise of the OP and how he doubts if it's all real. I think we're getting our wires crossed here. I literally said it was positive that more help is being given these days.
that's awful and I am not sure how that will go down in an employment tribunal.
I am lucky that my firm has mental health first aiders and run quarterly breakfast meetings for those with mental health issues so we can all sit and talk about the issues affecting us and what we do to try and combat them.
PJ87
Journeyman Pro
As someone who has bi polar disorder I can try and shed some light.
So many people just don’t understand and that’s just through years of “toughen†up attitude , men told to not show emotion and just “man up†in most situations. (Not exclusive to men of course)
Speaking from personal experience my bipolar (or to give its correct name, manic depression) I am subject to extreme mood swings over a period of time. Cause by chemical imbalance inside my mind (the most powerful tool). I would have a few week period of the manic stage. where I would be invincible, nothing could stop me doing what I wanted to do, eating 5 meals a day due to the pure energy levels running around like an idiot everywhere. Couple weeks later would be the depression stage, scared of what I had done when manic (checking my phone and thinking jesus did I really say that. Scared of what people would think of me for my actions) not eating at all, just laying in bed paranoid.
Luckily my doctor spotted it after initially trying to put me on anti depressants (would have sent me super high) I told him it wasn’t the depression that scared me it was the manic stage. So he put me on mood stabilisers.
Bit of trial and error but in end the dosage was sorted and been on them ever since. That was 2011, once stable it was a long fight to get to where i am today. Driving licence initially taken away for 6 months whilst my meds took affect (understandable) 3 years of 1 year licences and applying each year for a new one, then was a 3 year one. Now finally unrestricted licence like a normal person again (woo). Work took a while to get clearance for duties again, lots of trips to the work dr. I was cleared for promotion 5 years ago and for past 8 years have to have yearly checks with them which is fine 👌
In terms of depression and manic stages (touch wood) the meds have stabilised them. I don’t get weeks of one or other. I might get the odd day where my head feels like it’s spaced out and the world just passes by but I can snap out of that now. I do however snap easily at things and have to take myself off and tell myself that person isn’t being a (bad word) that it’s me and I need to calm myself.
One thing that really helps is golf, fresh air and something that’s impossible to master keeps the mind active!
A challenge is the best thing.
Any questions feel free to ask I’ve prob been asked them all before
D
Deleted member 18121
Guest
I worked for a while with someone who is bi-polar...I remember sometimes he'd not come to work for a couple of weeks, then just turn up like nothing had happened. As I think I alluded to in my original post, I do understand more those who have been diagnosed with real issues - and thank god you and so many others are getting the support you need and deserve. My feeling is though that some peoples self diagnosis are a bit feeble and then lead onto excuses..... and I dont just mean in the work place, I mean in life itself.
Maybe this means that I have little function for sympathy/empathy, maybe I am ingrained with the "man up" attitude that a few have mentioned.....I just have a feeling that some are taking this recent focus on the issues and turning it to their favour. Maybe this is my own selfish issue.
Thanks for being so open an blunt, I appreciate it.
PJ87
Journeyman Pro
I worked for a while with someone who is bi-polar...I remember sometimes he'd not come to work for a couple of weeks, then just turn up like nothing had happened. As I think I alluded to in my original post, I do understand more those who have been diagnosed with real issues - and thank god you and so many others are getting the support you need and deserve. My feeling is though that some peoples self diagnosis are a bit feeble and then lead onto excuses..... and I dont just mean in the work place, I mean in life itself.
Maybe this means that I have little function for sympathy/empathy, maybe I am ingrained with the "man up" attitude that a few have mentioned.....I just have a feeling that some are taking this recent focus on the issues and turning it to their favour. Maybe this is my own selfish issue.
Thanks for being so open an blunt, I appreciate it.
No use sugar coating it tbh! Silly as it sounds, if I’m not blunt with myself I can just go back to hiding in self pity.
My work have been getting people to volunteer as mental heath champions. Can’t say I completely agree. Whilst it’s great to talk about it and get that convo going these guys have no training in how to deal with mental health issues so is that safe? I don’t know
I do however (crazy as it sounds) feel lucky. Most people with bipolar struggle to hold down a regular employment. I have managed to keep the same employer for 16 years.
The meds are alright just wish the side affects weren’t increased appetite and hair loss! Massive bald spot and a fat gut at 32 isn’t the best look! Lucky my wife sees past it 😂
U
User62651
Guest
Don't think modern companies that do well and attract the best people would get far with that attitude. A happy employee is a more productive employee. Glad to hear you used to work for them, I imagine they'll have a high staff turnover which is costly and demoralising, it's an old school attitude that is both self defeating and pointless as they cant enforce it or could be done legally if their lack of sympathy went as far as trying to sack someone on that basis of illness.
I have been in a really horrible, dark, bad place for the past few weeks - almost like a train tunnel but with no light at the end of it and it just consumes you.
I have lost count of the number of times I have sat and cried - it happened at both the Forest Pines and Sunningdale meets so that makes me anxious and I try to avoid being around people which then makes me feel even worse as I don't want to come across as being unsocial.
walking my dog has given me space and time to switch off and chill (until the little fcuker runs off!).
In all honesty I'd rather have a physical impairment (being left handed doesn't count) as at least then people could tell what was wrong with me and I wouldn't be judged.
I am about to start different medication so it could be fun while I adjust to those!
I have lost count of the number of times I have sat and cried - it happened at both the Forest Pines and Sunningdale meets so that makes me anxious and I try to avoid being around people which then makes me feel even worse as I don't want to come across as being unsocial.
walking my dog has given me space and time to switch off and chill (until the little fcuker runs off!).
In all honesty I'd rather have a physical impairment (being left handed doesn't count) as at least then people could tell what was wrong with me and I wouldn't be judged.
I am about to start different medication so it could be fun while I adjust to those!
chrisd
Major Champion
To be fair mate, you dont come across as anything but a really nice guy, some problems I know, but a good guy to be around. I'm just sorry that other than encouragement to stay out and try to enjoy the walk that there was little more I could do.
your encouragement made a big difference to how I felt on the new course.
it took my mind off how crap I was playing and despite a few poor shots the back 9 was very enjoyable.
ScienceBoy
Money List Winner
I don't believe this to be true, there is no "modern cause", its always been there. It's only now we are talking about it due to mediums like social media and media itself going with the hot topics.
I've been managing my mental health for over a decade.
If we think its just a modern illness we will fail to deal with it.
U
User62651
Guest
No particular fan of royalty (can take em or leave em) but I'm pleased to see Wiils and Harry use their high public profiles to show steady support for mental health causes, particularly in men. Not just a one off either, keep returning to it so fair play to them for that.
Losing their mother in the fashion they did at that young age and under such public scrutiny must have left some psychological scars.
Losing their mother in the fashion they did at that young age and under such public scrutiny must have left some psychological scars.
virtuocity
Tour Winner
I work with lots of families who experience multifarious problems.
It’s a national shame how pitifully funded mental health services are, especially in the children’s sectors. Truth is, funding mental health isn’t as much of a vote winner than putting more police on the beat and other such social issues.
We’ve come a long way but still huge stretches to go in terms of breaking stigma. However, for every brave person who publicly talks about their own issues, there will be a similar amount of people querying those who ‘fake’ symptoms- this is NOT a helpful discussion.
One of the most gratifying parts of my job is giving hardened west of Scotland dads the ‘permission’ to be an emotional, imperfect, nurturing and silly human being. Undoing the manyfold generational assertion that men are designed to graft, drink and be a scary or intimidating figure at home and the community. I get some real lightbulb moments.
A measure of success in this area will be when declaring the existence of a mental illness becomes as accepted as a broken leg- in itself an issue given you’re probably 100 times more likely to experience the former.
So, a couple of billion pound investment needed as well as 100 billion of investment to tackle poverty- a key indicator in poor mental health will do me for starters. I’m not convinced there’s political party in existence who would give such a damn.
It’s a national shame how pitifully funded mental health services are, especially in the children’s sectors. Truth is, funding mental health isn’t as much of a vote winner than putting more police on the beat and other such social issues.
We’ve come a long way but still huge stretches to go in terms of breaking stigma. However, for every brave person who publicly talks about their own issues, there will be a similar amount of people querying those who ‘fake’ symptoms- this is NOT a helpful discussion.
One of the most gratifying parts of my job is giving hardened west of Scotland dads the ‘permission’ to be an emotional, imperfect, nurturing and silly human being. Undoing the manyfold generational assertion that men are designed to graft, drink and be a scary or intimidating figure at home and the community. I get some real lightbulb moments.
A measure of success in this area will be when declaring the existence of a mental illness becomes as accepted as a broken leg- in itself an issue given you’re probably 100 times more likely to experience the former.
So, a couple of billion pound investment needed as well as 100 billion of investment to tackle poverty- a key indicator in poor mental health will do me for starters. I’m not convinced there’s political party in existence who would give such a damn.
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GaryK
Assistant Pro
Anxiety & Depression are VERY real - I should know as I went through some very dark times just over 10 years ago.
However, to me, the younger generation (millennials / snowflakes) suffer for reasons that just don't make sense. Whether they are carrying a FEW extra pounds or aren't getting enough social media "likes" and I struggle to have any sympathy for them. How are they going to cope when REAL WORLD challenges start hitting them....paying the mortgage / rent, paying other bills, having to provide for a family, etc.
My story is that I was struggling with workloads and change at work. One day my boss called me into a meeting to express his dissatisfaction with my performance without asking why I was struggling. It was at this point I burst into tears - I was in my late 30's around the time. I simply said that I think that I'd better speak to my GP. Got an appointment within a couple of days and my GP advised me that I was suffering anxiety & depression.
Back then, there was very little talk, support or understanding of the mental issues.
I was put on meds (the first type made things worse) and ended up being off work for 4 months.
To this day I am still on the meds (reduced dose) and do have the occasional "moment", but on the whole am able to live a "normal" life.
I am very concerned that despite mental health getting more recognition, how the hell are the younger generation going to cope when they start facing "grown up" challenges?
However, to me, the younger generation (millennials / snowflakes) suffer for reasons that just don't make sense. Whether they are carrying a FEW extra pounds or aren't getting enough social media "likes" and I struggle to have any sympathy for them. How are they going to cope when REAL WORLD challenges start hitting them....paying the mortgage / rent, paying other bills, having to provide for a family, etc.
My story is that I was struggling with workloads and change at work. One day my boss called me into a meeting to express his dissatisfaction with my performance without asking why I was struggling. It was at this point I burst into tears - I was in my late 30's around the time. I simply said that I think that I'd better speak to my GP. Got an appointment within a couple of days and my GP advised me that I was suffering anxiety & depression.
Back then, there was very little talk, support or understanding of the mental issues.
I was put on meds (the first type made things worse) and ended up being off work for 4 months.
To this day I am still on the meds (reduced dose) and do have the occasional "moment", but on the whole am able to live a "normal" life.
I am very concerned that despite mental health getting more recognition, how the hell are the younger generation going to cope when they start facing "grown up" challenges?
Hacker Khan
Yurt Dwelling, Yoghurt Knitter
Isn't it dangerous though to say that one type of mental illness makes sense and another doesn't so we then make judgements on who deserves sympathy? Who is to judge what is a proper reason and what is not? Is an issue not in the mind of the person so is personal to them, and what might seem as an anxiety inducing situation to one person may not be to another? So the younger generation may react to certain things bring on stress in their minds (for example social media likes) where as they may not see other things such as workloads, that an older generation may feel is stress inducing and a grown up challenge, as particularly stressful?
PhilTheFragger
Provider of Entertainment for the Golfing Gods 🙄
I am the most “together†bloke I know, I always thought that anxiety and depression were a bit of a cop out, “you aren’t depressed, you are just a bit down, pull yourself together†the thought of me suffering any sort of mental disorder was laughable.
Then
16 months ago I had a medical procedure go very badly wrong, I had to undergo hours of invasive treatment while awake or on ketamine, I saw stuff, I shouldn’t have seen, huge amounts of blood etc , 3 operations, someone doing chest compressions while I was awake. 23 units of blood transfusions
I very nearly didn’t make it,
After 6 days in Intensive care I went to a ward and in the wee small hours, the night terrors started, they came to get me, I was surrounded, they started to eat me and then I woke up.
I had woken up the entire ward, screaming and fighting the demons. I couldn’t get back to sleep.
Had the same dream each night , no counselling available, went home same Dreams , got sleep deprived, saw the doc who put me on sleeping tablets. They helped but I couldn’t get up in the morning, after 2 weeks went back to the doc, I was in real trouble, physically weak and mentally exhausted, I got an urgent psych assessment, they quickly diagnosed Post traumatic stress. Said that because I wasn’t in danger of killing myself that I would have to wait 3 months for treatment and sent me a leaflet.
I was in despair, my sleep was medically induced and I was still having the same dream each night, the dreams were so real, vivid and terrible.
After 3 months I was a wreck,anxiety, depression and PTSD. but I got treatment had 6 sessions of CBT, then my councillor left and I got moved to someone else, so started again.
Anyway a different therapy started to work and gradually the nightmares subsided and after 6 months of treatment, I stopped the medication and have been free of the dreams for about 6 months.
Ok mine was trauma induced, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody.
I’ve learnt that bottling stuff up is the worst thing, it plays on the mind, it is also good to talk, the problem is that people judge, often subconsciously without realising and people get scared to talk in case others react badly.
It is a real problem, it is vastly underfunded and the number of young people with these problems is scary.
But I’m all better now ðŸ‘
Then
16 months ago I had a medical procedure go very badly wrong, I had to undergo hours of invasive treatment while awake or on ketamine, I saw stuff, I shouldn’t have seen, huge amounts of blood etc , 3 operations, someone doing chest compressions while I was awake. 23 units of blood transfusions
I very nearly didn’t make it,
After 6 days in Intensive care I went to a ward and in the wee small hours, the night terrors started, they came to get me, I was surrounded, they started to eat me and then I woke up.
I had woken up the entire ward, screaming and fighting the demons. I couldn’t get back to sleep.
Had the same dream each night , no counselling available, went home same Dreams , got sleep deprived, saw the doc who put me on sleeping tablets. They helped but I couldn’t get up in the morning, after 2 weeks went back to the doc, I was in real trouble, physically weak and mentally exhausted, I got an urgent psych assessment, they quickly diagnosed Post traumatic stress. Said that because I wasn’t in danger of killing myself that I would have to wait 3 months for treatment and sent me a leaflet.
I was in despair, my sleep was medically induced and I was still having the same dream each night, the dreams were so real, vivid and terrible.
After 3 months I was a wreck,anxiety, depression and PTSD. but I got treatment had 6 sessions of CBT, then my councillor left and I got moved to someone else, so started again.
Anyway a different therapy started to work and gradually the nightmares subsided and after 6 months of treatment, I stopped the medication and have been free of the dreams for about 6 months.
Ok mine was trauma induced, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody.
I’ve learnt that bottling stuff up is the worst thing, it plays on the mind, it is also good to talk, the problem is that people judge, often subconsciously without realising and people get scared to talk in case others react badly.
It is a real problem, it is vastly underfunded and the number of young people with these problems is scary.
But I’m all better now ðŸ‘
Blue in Munich
Crocked Professional Yeti Impersonator
Does it not? Our office has daily deadlines, work that has to be cleared. When you have members of staff perpetually taking the proverbial, their works falls to the remainder of the office to deal with. I don't have any issue with that when someone has a genuine health or welfare issue, but the mickey takers cause pressures on the remaining staff, meaning they will come in when they should be off to try and assist the remainder of the team then it does affect me when other members of staff abuse the system.
williamalex1
Money List Winner
If giving out a few infractions will help , i'll take one or two , well said Phill
Swinglowandslow
Well-known member
Hmmm, until the plenty become the majority, and the general view becomes that you're a mug for working when you can do better pulling a few strokes etc.
Diablo may have had a too early thought on this than you feel comfortable with, but how many of us are concerned at your apparent readiness to tolerate too easily the sickie throwers and shirkers.?
D
Deleted member 15344
Guest
Speaking from someone who has suffered and been through CBT plus medication anytime you just need to chat just call out ðŸ‘
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
To the OP. Flippin eck where do you start and before I do, some fantastic personal responses on here and quite frankly the forum at its very very best.
That said, for me theres a massive differance between anxiety and mental health. For me anxiety/ stress is streets away from mental health which could border on dementia. But but aside from nit picking the OP must pour himself a drink for opening up to this and wanting to educate himself and others.
Which points to pick up on. When I was at the Pit. I kinda learned that no one suffers with stress or bad backs. Why? Because physically you cannot see them. Like Ori says re headaches. But the only people that sympathise with people who have had a bad back or stress is the very people that have had both/ either conditions.
Stress, anxiety etc. Bless any of you who have had it. I remember one day a good pal of mine had lost it. A grown man roaring his eyes out. It was heart breaking. His manager came in and said " I was the same one day, crying at the bottom of the garden talking to the fairies. Me dad said if I don't man up al crack you at the back of the head with this shovel. Tim, ( my pal ) needs cracking at the back of the head with a shovel". I could of knocked the *** out. I told my boss I wanted to knock him out as well. Six months later he was in my bosses office roaring his eyes out, he had a relapse of his own stress issues. I told my boss I will be back in five mins. She asked where I was going. I said " to find a shovel and smack the *** over the back of the head". I was joking and knew what he was going through but I was not a happy bunny.
Bottom line is we are all differant, why do we act differently. Daughter went to a job last week as a copper. A guy had blown his brains out with a magnum 44. One of the other girls who attended had to go home. But others had to stay and deal with it. What makes us so differant. I don't know but, one thing I will say is if anyone is suffering with stress, anxiety etc etc.. As has been said TALK ABOUT IT. Talk talk talk. A problem shared is a problem halvd.
That said, for me theres a massive differance between anxiety and mental health. For me anxiety/ stress is streets away from mental health which could border on dementia. But but aside from nit picking the OP must pour himself a drink for opening up to this and wanting to educate himself and others.
Which points to pick up on. When I was at the Pit. I kinda learned that no one suffers with stress or bad backs. Why? Because physically you cannot see them. Like Ori says re headaches. But the only people that sympathise with people who have had a bad back or stress is the very people that have had both/ either conditions.
Stress, anxiety etc. Bless any of you who have had it. I remember one day a good pal of mine had lost it. A grown man roaring his eyes out. It was heart breaking. His manager came in and said " I was the same one day, crying at the bottom of the garden talking to the fairies. Me dad said if I don't man up al crack you at the back of the head with this shovel. Tim, ( my pal ) needs cracking at the back of the head with a shovel". I could of knocked the *** out. I told my boss I wanted to knock him out as well. Six months later he was in my bosses office roaring his eyes out, he had a relapse of his own stress issues. I told my boss I will be back in five mins. She asked where I was going. I said " to find a shovel and smack the *** over the back of the head". I was joking and knew what he was going through but I was not a happy bunny.
Bottom line is we are all differant, why do we act differently. Daughter went to a job last week as a copper. A guy had blown his brains out with a magnum 44. One of the other girls who attended had to go home. But others had to stay and deal with it. What makes us so differant. I don't know but, one thing I will say is if anyone is suffering with stress, anxiety etc etc.. As has been said TALK ABOUT IT. Talk talk talk. A problem shared is a problem halvd.
