Woe is me (or, why is this game so goddam hard?)

[Deleted member 1147]

Golf at the range is exercise, golf on the course is a game.

I’ve played with pretty poor ball strikers who knock it round in under 80 regularly, because they know how to play the game.

I’ve known juniors who spend hours at the range, but they don’t score so well because they haven’t figured out course management or the joys of bad lies, side slopes etc

 

[RangeMonkey]

Golf at the range is exercise, golf on the course is a game.

I’ve played with pretty poor ball strikers who knock it round in under 80 regularly, because they know how to play the game.

Such poor ball strikers that they miss the ball completley 1 swing in 3, and have a maximum range of 20 yards with any club?

Because that’s where I am.

 

[Mel Smooth]

Such poor ball strikers that they miss the ball completley 1 swing in 3, and have a maximum range of 20 yards with any club?

Because that’s where I am.

If you miss it completely on the course you just claim it as a practice swing - don't worry about it.

 

[Ye Olde Boomer]

Ok, I’m starting a thread to stop me from hijacking other threads with my tales of misery.

This is all long-game. My short game shots (“finesse wedges”, a la Sieckman) seemed ok still, last time I tried about a week ago, and haven’t suffered the same slump. I’ve had no short game coaching. I’ve self taught from Sieckman and Pelz. Maybe I need to find a par 2 course...

First of all, what you're describing is nothing more or less than the normal beginning of life for a recreational player of golf.

One question, though. Assuming that you're right handed, are you allowing your left heel to lift when you swing? Nothing cause erratic contact more than that. When the heel lift is in rhythm with the rest of your swing, all goes well. When it isn't, you have no balance at all and can even miss the ball.

Keep that left heel planted flat, even if it reduces your backswing somewhat. It cleans things up immediately. If that's not the problem, then it's some other little thing like that.

 

[RangeMonkey]

First of all, what you're describing is nothing more or less than the normal beginning of life for a recreational player of golf.

One question, though. Assuming that you're right handed, are you allowing your left heel to lift when you swing? Nothing cause erratic contact more than that. When the heel lift is in rhythm with the rest of your swing, all goes well. When it isn't, you have no balance at all and can even miss the ball.

Keep that left heel planted flat, even if it reduces your backswing somewhat. It cleans things up immediately. If that's not the problem, then it's some other little thing like that.

It’s the “it’s normal” comments that put me off.

If this is normal, why the hell does anyone play the game?

I don’t think I’m lifting my lead foot. I’m not 100% certain, but the emphasis in my last lesson was to keep my weight more in control in the backswing, as I’d developed a sway backwards.

The sway backwards was in response to the fix for my previous issue, which was a reverse pivot. To fix the reverse pivot, I’d been told to focus on turning my lead knee in. That worked for a while until I unconsciously developed the sway backwards.

The fix for the sway was to continue having the lead knee turn in, but keep Some weight through The inside of the foot, and focus on coiling, rather than moving away from the target,

So when it all fell apart, the first thing I checked was that I was still coiling and not swaying, and still had some weight on the inside of the lead foot.

I also used my convex mirror with a centreline drawn on it (which I have with me for range sessions), to make sure the sway had not come back.

Then I checked my lead arm was straight, but not stiff, as that’s another if my favourite tricks...to have a straight arm at address, but let it bend on the backswing. I didn’t seem to be doing that.

So, using the full length mirror that is at the back of every tee at the range, I checked that I was not standing up on the backswing. I checked that my club was coming back on the inside, in line with my forearm, and that the face was slightly open when the shaft was parallel to the floor.

I slowed right down, reduced to a backswing that only went to parallel to the floor, and made sure I wasn’t standing up out of posture at impact.

Basically, I went through all my notes, of all my previous faults, and rechecked them for half a dozen practice swings and two or three balls each.

But as I’ve said, I had to reduce the backswing to about 2 feet, swing slowly through the ball from there, before I got to the point of being able to make contact. Any more of a backswing, and I was coming through above, inside or even outside the ball, and either missing completely, or just tipping it off the tee with a glancing blow.

I really don’t think that’s normal, and the reason I don’t want to go on the course is that I do t want to take 50 shots to get to the green on a 100 yard par 3!

 

[Ye Olde Boomer]

Frustration is inevitable for the aspiring player. It's not an easy game, but trust me, it gets better.
Once you're through the worst, it's a game that you can enjoy (albeit never without some frustration) for a long, long time.

 

[Midnight]

Mate,
At the end of the day, do what ever you think is right. Only you can make the descion to bin golf completely or take a break for a while, clear your head and try again.

Either way good luck with what you decide mate.

Midnight...

 

[RangeMonkey]

Mate,
At the end of the day, do what ever you think is right. Only you can make the descion to bin golf completely or take a break for a while, clear your head and try again.

Either way good luck with what you decide mate.

Midnight...

Oh I’ve made the decision - I’m selling up and quitting.

Im just responding on here because people are asking questions.

 

[need_my_wedge]

........Now, I’m 53 and overweight, but I have a very sporty background. I’m a long time practitioner of yoga and Tai Chi, and have now and then instructed Tai Chi. I’ve competed in fencing, archery, martial arts, tennis, badminton and squash. I’ve been an obsessive indoor rower, once rowing a half marathon in just over 90 minutes. I’ve been a sport rock climber. I’m quite competitive.

This means I didn’t want to turn up at the range with work colleagues, having never hit a golf ball in my life. So, on a day off I happened to have, I went to the range to book an “assessment lesson”, thinking I’d get a few tips, and perhaps not embarrass myself in front of the lads. At the lesson, the PGA coach would not believe I’d never hit a golf ball. Almost every ball I hit went reasonably straight, and by the end of the lesson I was hitting a seven iron about 120 yards. This is what I fully expected. I’m good at sport. One time I trained with Shaolin monks, and the instructor, who could barely speak English, came to me in class and said “Your kungfu very good”. I thought I could die happy

But now golf has robbed me of my self-satisfied demise........

I know you've decided to jack it in, and my opinion is no more valid than the next, but with everything you've said above, I do find it interesting that you've only given golf 5 months to master.

I started playing golf back in the mid 80's, was never much good and hacked around with only one or two lessons until the mid 90's when I stopped playing due to marriage and family. I started playing again about 11 years ago. I invested a bit more time in practice and lessons, and got a little bit better. My good shots are up there with the best of them, but my bad shots are more common and as bad as bad can be. I've written in previous threads on my woes, especially after playing two whole seasons in the last 3 years where my game was just in the toilet and disappearing around the U-bend, causing me to consider quitting more than once - I've been in your situation and understand where you are. Aside from golf, I've practiced Aikido for 27 years, I've nowhere near mastered it, but I do understand that it is about losing my own ego, not trying too hard, and not worrying about what others think about my level or ability. It has surprisingly taken me until very recently, to realize how similar golf is to Aikido. When I played golf I would get very upset (with myself) every time I hit a bad shot, which would just spiral down into a mire as the more angry I got with myself, the worse my game became. I realized that when ever I was playing in a swindle or a competition, I was competing against myself in my own head, and worrying more about what my partners were thinking about my ability, which put a ton of pressure onto myself and did not allow any room for error, or much enjoyment playing.

At the same time, if I went out and just played a knock around with my wife, my game was completely different - I wasn't worried about what my wife thought about my golf, there was no competition in my own head to win, it was just out enjoying the game and having a laugh. I would still get upset at bad shots, but not in the same way, and over the past year, have stopped getting upset with myself anywhere near as much when playing golf with her, and when we do play I laugh a lot more, and I invariably play a lot better. I'm still struggling to be in that midset when playing with the lads or in comps, but even then, I AM getting better at it and my game is slowly improving. I still struggle to play anywhere near my handicap, but I'm closer to it than was. How long does it take to master kung Fu or Tai chi....? Like Aikido, I would say we never will master them, not as long as we want to master them, the important thing though, is that we just keep practicing and doing. Golf is as much a discipline as a martial art. There are a lot of moving parts in a golf swing, a lot of different techniques, a lot of room for error, a head full of thoughts. 5 months is nowhere near enough time to get the parts moving in sync at the right time, every time, for every technique, whilst at the same time emptying the head of all the thoughts we have about trying to get the swing moving in sync at the right time whilst hitting the ball, every time.

I'm 55 my opinion may not be relevant but I now try and look at my golf like my Aikido, in the respect that I just keep practicing and trying, knowing that it will improve. I'm sure any martial art or sport is the same, as your practice goes on, you have periods where you hit a wall and feel like nothing is improving or changing, but there is no rush. I don't expect to master Aikido, so why should I expect to master golf.

 

[RangeMonkey]

I know you've decided to jack it in, and my opinion is no more valid than the next, but with everything you've said above, I do find it interesting that you've only given golf 5 months to master.

Not to master. That would be ridiculous.

Just to be able to hit the ball.

 

[Grant85]

It’s the “it’s normal” comments that put me off.

If this is normal, why the hell does anyone play the game?

I don’t think I’m lifting my lead foot. I’m not 100% certain, but the emphasis in my last lesson was to keep my weight more in control in the backswing, as I’d developed a sway backwards.

The sway backwards was in response to the fix for my previous issue, which was a reverse pivot. To fix the reverse pivot, I’d been told to focus on turning my lead knee in. That worked for a while until I unconsciously developed the sway backwards.

The fix for the sway was to continue having the lead knee turn in, but keep Some weight through The inside of the foot, and focus on coiling, rather than moving away from the target,

So when it all fell apart, the first thing I checked was that I was still coiling and not swaying, and still had some weight on the inside of the lead foot.

I also used my convex mirror with a centreline drawn on it (which I have with me for range sessions), to make sure the sway had not come back.

Then I checked my lead arm was straight, but not stiff, as that’s another if my favourite tricks...to have a straight arm at address, but let it bend on the backswing. I didn’t seem to be doing that.

So, using the full length mirror that is at the back of every tee at the range, I checked that I was not standing up on the backswing. I checked that my club was coming back on the inside, in line with my forearm, and that the face was slightly open when the shaft was parallel to the floor.

I slowed right down, reduced to a backswing that only went to parallel to the floor, and made sure I wasn’t standing up out of posture at impact.

Basically, I went through all my notes, of all my previous faults, and rechecked them for half a dozen practice swings and two or three balls each.

But as I’ve said, I had to reduce the backswing to about 2 feet, swing slowly through the ball from there, before I got to the point of being able to make contact. Any more of a backswing, and I was coming through above, inside or even outside the ball, and either missing completely, or just tipping it off the tee with a glancing blow.

I really don’t think that’s normal, and the reason I don’t want to go on the course is that I do t want to take 50 shots to get to the green on a 100 yard par 3!

You are massively over thinking things.

I'd say, definitely don't sell everything. Take a few months off and when spring is here one bright Saturday morning, just go for a walk around a course. You will see loads of guys hitting the ball... some hitting it right up the middle, some just bumping it forward 120 yards, some mishitting it and others taking wild swings carving the ball into the trees.

If you can stand and watch 30 or 40 average Joes tee off for an hour and then think 'I definitely can't do this' then chuck it. But ultimately golf is a sport that any able bodied person (and plenty of disabled people) can work at and get to a level that they can play regularly and compete with mates or even in club competitions.

I've been there when I could barely hit the ball and felt embarrassed missing the ball or topping it 3 inches off the tee. The difference was I didn't feel I should be able to master golf within a few months. And in fact, you will never truly master it. Even the best players in the world have days where they can barely keep the ball on the golf course and most players will never stop wanting to improve, taking lessons, working on strengths and weaknesses etc.

One of the reasons golf has so many regular and loyal players, is that once you've got to a certain level it is so hugely addictive. The satisfaction of catching a drive, right up the middle, or seeing a mid iron fly towards the pin is possibly unrivalled in recreation.

As Dr Bob Rotella (world renowned sports psychologist) said 'Golf is not a game of perfect'.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

The gymnast on the beam will start on a floor beam 8” off the ground with simple stuff - and they will fall off the beam or mess up loads with no consequence - It doesn’t hurt and it’s quick and easy to get back on and to keep going and try and try again.

But once they get onto the high beam and are 4ft off the ground things are different. Falling hurts, it takes time to gather thoughts and get back on - and after a fall there is fear that has to be overcome and negative thoughts to be cleared - and mistakes and falls will happen and happen again.

But the gymnast who wishes to succeed on the beam knows this; they know it is very difficult and they have to be able to master their mind as well as technique - but the determined gymnast perseveres. Yes they can go back to the floor beam to learn something new or regain their confidence - but they also know that doing it on the floor beam is one thing - the joy and satisfaction is got from doing it for real - on the high beam...

It seems that your desire to get on top of the game (you accept you cannot master it - none of us can) is getting in the way of you learning what the game delivers in spades...and much of what the game offers is free and requires no effort other than getting onto a golf course - if possible with others.

Good luck - get on the golf course - enjoy your surroundings and companions - you’ll find it’s true what we say that the joy of playing is not all about swing and scoring - and if you enjoy the freely available things - the harder things will come. Believe us they will. But you have learn to enjoy the game. And you can open yourself to that learning today.

 

[RangeMonkey]

The difference was I didn't feel I should be able to master golf within a few months.

Can someone show me where I said I expected to “master golf within a few months”?

All I’m expecting is to be able to hit the effin ball.

Is that all it takes? When I can hit the ball is that it? Have I mastered it?

I didn’t think so, but it seems everyone else thinks so. Or at least thinks I’m so effin stupid that I think so.

I just.
Want.
To be able.
To hit.
The ball.
After nearly.
Six.
Months.
Trying.

And apparently, that is expecting too much!!!

 

[need_my_wedge]

Can someone show me where I said I expected to “master golf within a few months”?

All I’m expecting is to be able to hit the effin ball.

Is that all it takes? When I can hit the ball is that it? Have I mastered it?

I didn’t think so, but it seems everyone else thinks so. Or at least thinks I’m so effin stupid that I think so.

I just.
Want.
To be able.
To hit.
The ball.
After nearly.
Six.
Months.
Trying.

And apparently, that is expecting too much!!!

You didn't, I used it in an effort to describe golf in a comparison with martial arts, something else you do, which according to your first post, is something you are good at. Since I have a similar background, I was trying to use it in the hope that you would apply the same thought process you use to learn martial arts, and realize that 5 months is a bit quick to jack it in - especially if you were hitting the ball ok at the start. You can do it, it is in there somewhere, just need to spend a bit more time working on it.

 

[RangeMonkey]

You didn't, I used it in an effort to describe golf in a comparison with martial arts, something else you do, which according to your first post, is something you are good at. Since I have a similar background, I was trying to use it in the hope that you would apply the same thought process you use to learn martial arts, and realize that 5 months is a bit quick to jack it in - especially if you were hitting the ball ok at the start. You can do it, it is in there somewhere, just need to spend a bit more time working on it.

Ok.
Apologies for the rant. You’re not the only one who said I was expecting to “master golf”.

I guess what I’m saying throughout this thread is that every other sport I’ve tried, I’ve said regular steady progression. Obviously barring the odd off day or off week.

But I never had a day doing Tai Chi where I found I could no longer do something as fundamental as stand up.

I guess what I’m also saying is that, apparently, I can expect this level of regression - to the point I can’t hit the ball - to be a regular and recurring thing for as long as I play. And I’m just not prepared to participate in an activity where that is the case.

People have also said things like, “It’s not all about scoring”.

It is.

“It’s also about the people.”

It isn’t.

It’s a sport. It’s about being the best I can possibly be.

Nothing else matters.

And if the best I can ever be includes regressing to this stage regularly, then it just isn’t worth the effort.

 

[Deleted member 1147]

Perhaps, we are looking too technically when discussing things with the OP.

As he appears to get so upset by people trying to help or make suggestions, may be golf just isn't the right game for him. After all, you have to be very thick skinned to enjoy golf, a game which tries to kick you in the gonads at every opportunity (bad bounces, good one day crap the next, lost balls which should be in the middle of the fairway etc etc etc).

So perhaps he just isn't suited to the fantastic/awful game that is golf?

 

[Orikoru]

It’s the “it’s normal” comments that put me off.

If this is normal, why the hell does anyone play the game?

I don’t think I’m lifting my lead foot. I’m not 100% certain, but the emphasis in my last lesson was to keep my weight more in control in the backswing, as I’d developed a sway backwards.

The sway backwards was in response to the fix for my previous issue, which was a reverse pivot. To fix the reverse pivot, I’d been told to focus on turning my lead knee in. That worked for a while until I unconsciously developed the sway backwards.

The fix for the sway was to continue having the lead knee turn in, but keep Some weight through The inside of the foot, and focus on coiling, rather than moving away from the target,

So when it all fell apart, the first thing I checked was that I was still coiling and not swaying, and still had some weight on the inside of the lead foot.

I also used my convex mirror with a centreline drawn on it (which I have with me for range sessions), to make sure the sway had not come back.

Then I checked my lead arm was straight, but not stiff, as that’s another if my favourite tricks...to have a straight arm at address, but let it bend on the backswing. I didn’t seem to be doing that.

So, using the full length mirror that is at the back of every tee at the range, I checked that I was not standing up on the backswing. I checked that my club was coming back on the inside, in line with my forearm, and that the face was slightly open when the shaft was parallel to the floor.

I slowed right down, reduced to a backswing that only went to parallel to the floor, and made sure I wasn’t standing up out of posture at impact.

Basically, I went through all my notes, of all my previous faults, and rechecked them for half a dozen practice swings and two or three balls each.

But as I’ve said, I had to reduce the backswing to about 2 feet, swing slowly through the ball from there, before I got to the point of being able to make contact. Any more of a backswing, and I was coming through above, inside or even outside the ball, and either missing completely, or just tipping it off the tee with a glancing blow.

I really don’t think that’s normal, and the reason I don’t want to go on the course is that I do t want to take 50 shots to get to the green on a 100 yard par 3!

It's normal for anyone who's only played two half-rounds on a course. It doesn't stay that way forever, obviously. It's the oldest trick in the book, but if you're missing the ball just make sure you're not lifting your head up before you've finished your swing. That's something I still have to remind myself if I'm thinning or topping it.

I have to be honest, all this talk of reverse pivots, coiling and swaying and whatnot at your level does my head in. It seems like overkill for a beginner to me, and no surprise it's sapping your enjoyment. It's death by a hundred swing thoughts. I'd have thought the best way for anyone to get into golf would be just learn the basics, then go and hack your way around your local pay and play course a few dozen times and see where you're at. It really doesn't matter if you bend your left a little if you can strike the ball that way. Some pros have a little bit of left arm bend.

As somebody once said, "golf and sex are the only things you don't have to be good at to enjoy".

 

[RangeMonkey]

Perhaps, we are looking too technically when discussing things with the OP.

As he appears to get so upset by people trying to help or make suggestions, may be golf just isn't the right game for him. After all, you have to be very thick skinned to enjoy golf, a game which tries to kick you in the gonads at every opportunity (bad bounces, good one day crap the next, lost balls which should be in the middle of the fairway etc etc etc).

So perhaps he just isn't suited to the fantastic/awful game that is golf?

I agree.

Which is why, as I’ve said repeatedly, I’ve already made the decision to give up.

I’m just coming back here because people won’t let it stop at that.

Just to be clear, for those to lazy or stupid to read all the posts:

I have given up playing golf

 

[garyinderry]

I agree.

Which is why, as I’ve said repeatedly, I’ve already made the decision to give up.

I’m just coming back here because people won’t let it stop at that.

Just to be clear, for those to lazy or stupid to read all the posts:

I have given up playing golf

I love watching golf swings good and bad. Do you have a video of your swing?

I feel your frustration. Missing the ball altogether is frankly difficult to do as the ball doesn't move.

Let's see the swing as there has to be something really simple getting in the way.

Golf will drive you crazy at times but that is actually one facet of the addictive nature of the sport.

I thought the challenge of golf would be perfect for a man that has the discipline of a marshal art.

 

[RangeMonkey]

I love watching golf swings good and bad. Do you have a video of your swing?

I feel your frustration. Missing the ball altogether is frankly difficult to do as the ball doesn't move.

Let's see the swing as there has to be something really simple getting in the way.

Golf will drive you crazy at times but that is actually one facet of the addictive nature of the sport.

I thought the challenge of golf would be perfect for a man that has the discipline of a marshal art.

I’ve told my pro I’m not going to any more lessons.

He’s more likely to be able to identify what’s going on, and I don’t even want to do it for him, much less for the forum.

Anyway, it really doesn’t matter.

Why?

Because I have given up playing golf.