Woe is me (or, why is this game so goddam hard?)

[inc0gnito]

I enjoyed your story (sorry). I’m not a sadist but it is satisfying to know it’s not just me who has had his struggles. I too started a thread a couple of months ago about nearly quitting. I’ve been playing almost 3 years and it quickly loses enjoyment when your golf goes from progress to flatlined for unknown reasons. And it’s the occasional good range session or round that provides enough serotonin to keep sailing through the storm.

You’re going to get three pieces of advice here; 1. See a pro 2. Just enjoy it, it’s golf 3. Try this tip. None of which are particularly helpful where you’re at right now.

I can only tell you what’s working for me. I’ve got the love back even though I haven’t been at the range or course very much at all in the last few months. I’ve been following Chuck Quinton from Rotary Swing golf, and working primarily on the RST fundamentals (see the DEAD drill if you’re interested). I’m not a paid member but just working off all the free stuff. What it’s giving me is exactly what you need. The basic fundamentals, and the reasons why things go wrong when they do. It’s given me a clear plan for what I need to do throughout the swing, it’s simple, I have drills, and I can see what I’m doing wrong when I’ve done it wrong.

I’m not saying you should use it but I’m saying you should find something that offers you the same. You’ll be like a lost child in the zoo right now and everyone will be telling you to go past the monkeys or the elephants or the lions. I’m saying you need to find the map so you can get back in the right direction.

That might be finding a suitable program or instructor but don’t continue down the rabbit hole of endless tips and pointers. Get a clear structure.

No harm but if you’ve had guzumpteen lessons from your pro and it’s not working then maybe you need to try something or someone else. If you have a clear plan with him and he’s able to explain everything that happens then you should have little to worry about. But it sounds like every time you go he’s working on a new problem with the next quick fix.

 

[Curls]

I’d question having so many lessons in such a short space of time. I mean I know you kept asking for them but really you’ve left yourself no time to find a swing. Maybe in other sports (and I imagine martial arts) it's important to learn forms, but with golf we all have different body sizes/flexibility/ strength etc, so much so that no two touring pros have the same swing and most of them are made in a factory.

Get out and play golf, find what works, if it's massively flawed and you want to change it because you're on a quest for whatever number you think will make you happy, go see a pro. There's a lot more to golf than that but you're not going to give yourself a chance to find out if you keep getting lessons in search of a perfect swing. Golf is not a game of perfect (there's a book called just that). Filling your head with technical thoughts is the worst thing you can do if you want to make a free swing. You'll be right, chin up and wait for spring to hit!

 

[patricks148]

I’d question having so many lessons in such a short space of time. I mean I know you kept asking for them but really you’ve left yourself no time to find a swing. Maybe in other sports (and I imagine martial arts) it's important to learn forms, but with golf we all have different body sizes/flexibility/ strength etc, so much so that no two touring pros have the same swing and most of them are made in a factory.

Get out and play golf, find what works, if it's massively flawed and you want to change it because you're on a quest for whatever number you think will make you happy, go see a pro. There's a lot more to golf than that but you're not going to give yourself a chance to find out if you keep getting lessons in search of a perfect swing. Golf is not a game of perfect (there's a book called just that). Filling your head with technical thoughts is the worst thing you can do if you want to make a free swing. You'll be right, chin up and wait for spring to hit!

good point i only ever had a lesson once a month when i was changing my swing, you need time to work on things outside of a lesson.

 

[Crow]

Come off it, it's longer than most TV programmes!

The distilled wisdom of a lifetime's teaching.

 

[sunshine]

As others have mentioned, why don't you try taking up golf? It's a great game, and you would have a lot of fun, even when you don't hit it exactly where you intended.

For the avoidance of doubt, going to the range is not golf.

 

[Grant85]

Ok, I’m starting a thread to stop me from hijacking other threads with my tales of misery.

Here’s a summary of what is spread out over other posts, with some bits I haven’t mentioned yet. It’s basically my “story so far”.

In August last year, a bloke a work mentioned he goes to a local driving range (Trafford Golf Centre) after work, and asked me if I fancied a trip out the next week.

Now, I’m 53 and overweight, but I have a very sporty background. I’m a long time practitioner of yoga and Tai Chi, and have now and then instructed Tai Chi. I’ve competed in fencing, archery, martial arts, tennis, badminton and squash. I’ve been an obsessive indoor rower, once rowing a half marathon in just over 90 minutes. I’ve been a sport rock climber. I’m quite competitive.

This means I didn’t want to turn up at the range with work colleagues, having never hit a golf ball in my life. So, on a day off I happened to have, I went to the range to book an “assessment lesson”, thinking I’d get a few tips, and perhaps not embarrass myself in front of the lads. At the lesson, the PGA coach would not believe I’d never hit a golf ball. Almost every ball I hit went reasonably straight, and by the end of the lesson I was hitting a seven iron about 120 yards. This is what I fully expected. I’m good at sport. One time I trained with Shaolin monks, and the instructor, who could barely speak English, came to me in class and said “Your kungfu very good”. I thought I could die happy.

But now golf has robbed me of my self-satisfied demise...

After the assessment lesson, I went to the range with my workmates, and they, too, would not believe I’d never played. I was puzzled why they were hitting them all over the show.

So, I decided to book more lessons, and buy some clubs.

By October, I’d started working to a training plan and keeping range stats, and with all my clubs, I was hitting 70-80% of my shots straight (within my fairly generous definition of straight - would it hit a 30 yard wide fairway), and getting fair (but no good) distance.

In November, it fell apart. Sucdenly, in every session, the only way I could make half decent contact was to reduce to a half swing. By this stage, I’d had about 8 lessons. I was due my next lesson, hoping this could be sorted, when I broke a rib.

The physio said I’d be out until New Year, but in my youth I’d fought martial arts comps with broken toes and fingers, so I had no intention of letting it take that long! By the beginning of December, the physio gave me the all clear, and I went back to the range.

I was in the same place as before, barely able to hit the ball. At my next lesson, it seemed to come together, but at my very next range session it was gone again. And the next, and the next...

Afer going all through December and barely managing to hit a dozen decent shots out of about 800 range balls, I posted on here that I was desperate, and thinking of giving up.

Also, over Christmas, I went onto my local par 3 course twice. I thoroughly enjoyed it... but more for the walk than the golf. First time I played 10 holes and shot 61, second time I played 13 and shot 79 ... that’s 13 par 3’s, so 40 over on 13 par 3s. Statistically, that’s about the same as shooting around 145 on a par 72 course... the WHS will apparently allow handicaps up to 54...but not 73!

Then I went for another lesson last week, and again, during the lesson, things improved dramatically. And this time, at my next three range sessions, I was hitting the ball the best I ever have. I had one session with my hybrid where every single range ball (40) on the bounce carried about 160 yards, and landed within a 20 yard wide slot on the range. I was deliriously happy, and posted on here to say so.

Then, again, it fell apart. I don’t mean it got less good. I didn’t go to topping or shanking a couple, or missing the target. I went to missing the ball.

Probably one swing in three was an air shot. I had 40 range balls, and must have had to swing 50 or 60 times to shift them, because I keep missing. And when I did hit them, generally, I barely made contact - maybe clipping the ball by a millimetre or two, and giving it just enough momentum to trickle into the gravel in front of the mat. I made enough contact with three or four to send them out to about 20 yards.

So, apart from three good sessions, I basically haven’t been able to hit the ball since the beginning of November, despite a couple of lessons in that time.

Since August, I’ve had ten lessons, I visited the range 4-5 times a week, and I‘ve hit over 5000 balls. Ive got six more lessons pre-paid for, but I’m not sure I can face doing them. After being at least “good” at every other sport I’ve tried, and frankly, really good at a few, this seems to have me beat.

It‘s so frustrating that it started so well, and for three months I saw steady, significant gain, to then be followed by almost three months where I honestly - literally - could do no worse if I swung with my eyes shut. That’s not an exaggeration, it’s really that bad.

I‘m away with work at the moment, so even if I were tempted to give it another go (and currently I’m not), I couldn’t.

At the moment I have no plans to visit the range or the course, or to take any more lessons.

If after a week or so, I feel I want to try, then I’ll book a lesson, and see what happens.

If I haven‘t had that desire by a few weeks from now, I’ll probably hold my hands up, admit that I‘m nto suited to golf, and sell my gear.

P.S.
This is all long-game. My short game shots (“finesse wedges”, a la Sieckman) seemed ok still, last time I tried about a week ago, and haven’t suffered the same slump. I’ve had no short game coaching. I’ve self taught from Sieckman and Pelz. Maybe I need to find a par 2 course...

A few points on this.

It sounds like you are not playing too much, but focused on range sessions. Personally would can the range for a bit, especially when the spring starts and get out and play some golf. You'll probably find that you will naturally adapt to 'getting round a course' without thinking about swing drills, coaching etc. And you'll give yourself good memories of when you hit a great shot, or played a hole really well - even if overall your score is poor. And it will maybe give you something to focus on at the range.

Also the approach you've taken by starting off as a total novice and basically booking a lesson before you've swung a club or played a round is a strange one. Now probably it's actually a good way of going about things, but for a coach taking someone with no prior experience or swing to speak of - it's not something they'd be used to. So it may be that you have not gotten as much out of the coaching sessions as you would if they'd been spread out over time and you'd played a bit of golf in between them. They are obviously pricey, so it's a fairly hefty investment you've made in your game to not see it through and try and become someone who can maintain a respectable handicap and enjoy golf every week or so.

99% of people who go to a coach would be experienced players who have an idea that they want to improve one area of their game, generally driving or iron play, and a coach reliant on repeat bookings at a range will be very adept at making reasonably minor changes to improve their technique, without giving them so much to think about that they start missing the ball. Not to say that they can't deal with a total novice, but it's not something they'd be used to.

 

[RangeMonkey]

A few people have said I e never been on a course and I should.

If you read the post, you’ll that I have, and the results were dire.

 

[Parsaregood]

A few people have said I e never been on a course and I should.

If you read the post, you’ll that I have, and the results were dire.

You will need to play on a course quite alot before you become competent. Also you have to be comfortable on a course. It's all very easy hitting balls down a range, let's add trees, out of bounds, bunkers, long rough, doglegs etc. Lets putt aswell ! Once you experience these things youl see why it's important to play golf and not play golf swing so much especially as a beginner. Hitting off of mats is also very forgiving, bad contact is masked by the forgiveness of the mat. How many times have you actually played on a golf course ?

 

[chrisd]

A few people have said I e never been on a course and I should.

If you read the post, you’ll that I have, and the results were dire.

.......... and that's where it all changes. On the course you've real grass, ball above nor below feet level, not a full shot with a certain club, wet stodgy conditions, someone behind waiting to play etc etc . It takes some long time to encounter all the different skills needed to hack your way round a course. My view would be to play as often as you can, learn and enjoy it, take lessons when the previous one has bedded in .

 

[RangeMonkey]

I’ve been having a think.

So basically, it’s perfectly normal for me to be unable to literally make contact with a golf ball after six months practice.

Given that, I’ve decided: what is the point?

Clubs are going on eBay.

 

[Orikoru]

I’ve been having a think.

So basically, it’s perfectly normal for me to be unable to literally make contact with a golf ball after six months practice.

Given that, I’ve decided: what is the point?

Clubs are going on eBay.

That is a weird take from what people were saying. I think the general consensus was get out on the course more, as it's a totally different game to hitting balls on the range - and worry less about your swing. There's no substitute for getting the ball onto the green and then into the cup 18 times (or 9 times if you like) - that was always a lot more motivating to me than hitting a couple of nice but ultimately meaningless shots on the range. At the beginning you're going to hack round the course, sure, but maybe you get one bogey on a hole that you were really pleased with - that's what'll keep you coming back.

 

[RangeMonkey]

That is a weird take from what people were saying. I think the general consensus was get out on the course more, as it's a totally different game to hitting balls on the range - and worry less about your swing. There's no substitute for getting the ball onto the green and then into the cup 18 times (or 9 times if you like) - that was always a lot more motivating to me than hitting a couple of nice but ultimately meaningless shots on the range. At the beginning you're going to hack round the course, sure, but maybe you get one bogey on a hole that you were really pleased with - that's what'll keep you coming back.

People are saying it’s much harder on the course, and much easier on range mats.

I can’t hit it off range mats where it is apparently much easier, so what chance on a course?

 

[Orikoru]

People are saying it’s much harder on the course, and much easier on range mats.

I can’t hit it off range mats where it is apparently much easier, so what chance on a course?

That's not my view. I hate hitting balls at the driving range and rarely ever do it. I only go there if I've got a new club that I want to get a real feel for before I take it on the course. I don't like hitting irons off mats because they'll kind of bounce off it in a weird way - I'd rather hit off grass any day of the week.

Don't get me wrong, no one's going to force you to play, if you don't enjoy it then give up, of course. I'm just saying (and others are too) that you play golf on a golf course. You don't analyse every swing that you make, because it's the result that matters more. On the range results are largely immaterial because there is no end game. If you are willing to give golf one more try - just make sure it's on a course!

 

[Deleted member 21258]

RM, don't give up, golf can give and by gum it takes, batters you and golf is a struggle. Not long ago, I was topping loads of shots, got so bad that on the H4H forum day, think I must have topped about half my drives and iron shots, scored around 15 points, blobbed loads of holes and so on, now a few months later the tops have gone and I don't know why, they have just gone almost completely in the last month or so(I know I shouldn't say that, next time I play they will be back) . Its the mystery of golf.

Also enjoy your posts on here, keep the chin up

If you are not contacting with the ball, at a complete guess, slow down the backswing to silly slow, until you can feel the top of your swing, pause for a moment and then swing down(not at warp speed but silly slow). Slow and steady to start with, but with a okay tempo. Also ensure you are not moving around loads in your swing. Keep it slow, simple, feel what it is like to be swinging the club, rather than hitting hard and get some strike on the ball, but slow and steady with rhythm.

Stick a video up and best of luck.

 

[patricks148]

People are saying it’s much harder on the course, and much easier on range mats.

I can’t hit it off range mats where it is apparently much easier, so what chance on a course?

its different, just hitting balls isn't golf. rather than just give up just pay on a course for a few weeks, without bashing balls on a range.

I didn't start playing until i was in my mid 40's, was pretty good a sport, but had no expectations. was invited to a golf day for a cricket team i played in a 20 over league in the evenings. had never hit a ball until then hit a dozen badly on a range then went out on a course, witha set or borrowed clubs. I was terrible, but loved it and i was hooked after that.

never been one for a range, i like playing on a course

 

[mteam]

Hi Rangemonkey

I see you've got access to manchester GC take a wedge and get yourself down to the short game practice area and get some confidence going build your swing up slowly 1/4 swing ,1/2 swing then 3/4 swing. What has your coach said about you struggling to make contact?

If you have a broken rib you could subconsciously avoiding contact with the range mat

 

[RangeMonkey]

Hi Rangemonkey

I see you've got access to manchester GC take a wedge and get yourself down to the short game practice area and get some confidence going build your swing up slowly 1/4 swing ,1/2 swing then 3/4 swing. What has your coach said about you struggling to make contact?

If you have a broken rib you could subconsciously avoiding contact with the range mat

That’s a good shout. I was doing that for a while, because it hurt pretty bad when I caught one fat. But I’m fully recovered now, and don’t feel a thing.

I think it’s far too wet to use the short game area right now, and anything other than a full swing with my wedges is ok. It’s just my full swing with them that’s compromised. Unlike my irons, where even a quarter swing still misses the ball about a quarter of the time, and only clips it the rest.

But at the end if the day, life is too short for a hobby that you hate.

 

[Parsaregood]

That’s a good shout. I was doing that for a while, because it hurt pretty bad when I caught one fat. But I’m fully recovered now, and don’t feel a thing.

I think it’s far too wet to use the short game area right now, and anything other than a full swing with my wedges is ok. It’s just my full swing with them that’s compromised. Unlike my irons, where even a quarter swing still misses the ball about a quarter of the time, and only clips it the rest.

But at the end if the day, life is too short for a hobby that you hate.

You dont hate it, you just hate the fact that your finding it hard. Golf is probably the hardest game there is, doesnt matter how good you are you will always be struggling with something ?

 

[RangeMonkey]

You dont hate it, you just hate the fact that your finding it hard. Golf is probably the hardest game there is, doesnt matter how good you are you will always be struggling with something ?

Possibly...probably not. I’ve never before come across a sport where coaching and practice makes you become consistently worse.

I‘m definitely leaving it alone for a while. Maybe for a week, maybe more. At the moment, the thought of lifting a club depresses me too much to even consider it. On range or on the course. The shine has gone, and I really don’t want to do it anymore.

 

[fundy]

If youre this frustrated with the game already, then save yourself years, maybe decades of pain and bang the sticks on ebay, it only gets worse not better