The mental block of being paired up with randoms

[shun_naka]

Any advice on this? Ive moved country and I don't know anyone around here - i've joined my local club and have played a few rounds on my own, but to play on a saturday you need to be paired up with odd numbered 3 balls.

Feel a bit nervous about this, im still not that great and really dont have the confidence to do this yet - but its the only way i'll be able to play at the weekend.

Any advice?

 

[Neilds]

Just let them know you are new to both the club and to golf and i'm sure they will make you welcome. As long as you keep quiet when you should, talk whilst walking and keep up with the pace of play you should have no problems.
If by chance you don't get along with the group, I suspect the next 3 ball you join will be much better.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I've done this at lot in the last 8 months or so, moved to a new club with my son, he left for a job down south. You just have to get stuck in, nothing too clever about it. Smile, be friendly, go with the flow of the others (unless they are sexist, racist, homophobic etc at which point keep quiet and make a mental note not to book with them again ). You generally hear a conversation after a while that you can join in and then everything settles down.

It can be intimidating but you soon realise there is no reason for it. Most people are friendly, they really are.

 

[Orikoru]

Same as when you're worried about people watching you hit or whatever. Just spend ten minutes looking around the golf course at other people playing, their swings, their shots - you'll soon realise everyone is crap at golf. Even those who are 'good' are mostly crap. It's nothing to be concerned about, it's the thing that unites us more than anything, not divides us. Just remember that and you should be fine. Personality wise, the majority of people aren't knobs, unless you've joined an incredibly pompous club I suppose. But you probably haven't.

 

[IanM]

Everyone was new once, hopefully most folk remember that. Most people are nice!

Go and play. Enjoy the game, the rest of it will sort itself out

 

[rudebhoy]

You should be able to see members' handicaps on whatever app your club uses. I'd avoid the 'elite" golfers as, even if they are friendly enough, you might find the standard they are playing to is a bit intimidating. Anyone in the mid-teens and upwards will hit their fair share of bad shots - generally the higher the handicap, the worse the standard is, and the more comfortable you will feel, at least for starters.

 

[Deleted member 31467]

Ask in the office or pro shop to be paired up with people of similar ability. You'll be fine

 

[Bazzatron]

Have a look around, we're all mostly rubbish and trying to improve.


Apart from the really low players, best avoided.

 

[jim8flog]

Playing with people I did not know was how I got to know people when I first joined a club.
The majority of them did not mind playing with somebody new.

Many have remained golfing friends for over 30 years.

 

[patricks148]

I think its one of the great things about golf..drawn comps, avoids clique.. and allows you to meet new people

 

[adasko]

How you play golf on any given day good or bad is not who you are.
Many people taking game too seriously, you have your handicap for a reason.

 

[Hobbit]

Most weeks I just put my name on the start sheet, either on a blank time or filling a gap. Met loads of people who became friends + the odd one who I might not fancy a game with again. I also felt it benefited my game more, especially when I went to play in Opens. I wasn’t fazed by not knowing people.

Just go for it without any expectations

 

[Billysboots]

I remember one of my first drawn competitions. Despite knowing a few at my new club I was drawn with three complete strangers - I nearly withdrew.

I’m glad I didn’t. I got on so well with one of the fellas that he became my pairs partner for several years. By the time we were half way down the first we were chatting like old mates.

 

[Slab]

OP, just jump in. It's just golf after all

Nothing on the line except the cost of a sleeve of balls if all lost off the first tee (& the only thing the other players in your group will feel is relief that it wasn't them... this time)

 

[Junior]

Just remember they have felt/feel the same as you. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

 

[Deleted member 1147]

Speak to the Pro who should be able to advise on who might be good to play with and pair you up accordingly

 

[Robster59]

I've done this at lot in the last 8 months or so, moved to a new club with my son, he left for a job down south. You just have to get stuck in, nothing too clever about it. Smile, be friendly, go with the flow of the others (unless they are sexist, racist, homophobic etc at which point keep quiet and make a mental note not to book with them again ). You generally hear a conversation after a while that you can join in and then everything settles down.

It can be intimidating but you soon realise there is no reason for it. Most people are friendly, they really are.

Same for me. I moved up to Scotland and moved to a club where I knew nobody. I made the conscuous effort to talk to all that I could, took part in monthly medals and stopped for a drink in the club afterwards. It was amazing how many people would chat to you, and I got to know more people as a result. It's a two way street, but don't be backwards about coming forwards. Most people are very friendly towards new members.

 

[timd77]

A couple of weeks ago I played in a roll up with two single figure hcp players, one of them was off 3. I’m off 15 so was a little nervous, and although I’ve been a member for a year, I didn’t know either of them.

On the first tee, the 3 handicapper topped his shot and didn’t even reach the fairway. He went on to make a par and it was delight watching him play, plus he was a really nice chap to boot, congratulating me on my good shots and just generally chatting.

The weekend just gone I played with a different chap on a high handicap and he did nothing but moan about his game all round, terrible company. You’d think he was a pro the way he was moaning about a shot that most 20 handicappers play all the time.

Takes all sorts to play golf.

 

[Jasonr]

I was in the exact same position as you a few weeks ago. I wanted to start up again after a long lay off (18-20+ years) but I had moved area and lost touch with the guys I used to play with anyway. I had a couple of friends who sort of play once in a blue moon but I wanted to play more and the only option to me was to join a club .

I have a handicap in the 30s - I can hit a good ball but more often I hit really bad balls but guess what the guy off five was sometimes hitting his drive off the other side of the next fairway another guy off 12 topped a tee shot.

My club put me into a regular swindle. I did not know any of them and there are 24 that can turn up. They signed my three cards and I just played two comps with them over the last couple of weekend. I have played with guys with Handicaps from 5 to 30. Provided you are not a slow player, don't get the hump, engage in a chat but also know when to shut up shout a drink every now and then, you will be absolutely fine. Dare I say it if I'm hacking around having a worse day than them they probably feel slightly better about their own game. No one is a tour level player most are just out for a bit of a laugh and a game of golf and those that are up their own jacksies aren't worth your stress anyway.

Yes standing on that first tee with a load of blokes you don't know is quite nerve wracking but feel the fear and do it anyway and in a couple of months you will be wondering what all the fuss is about (having said that first tee nerves are still an issue for me)

 

[IanM]

I do like the millennial use of the word "randoms" though!