The "I'm a complete tool" rolling thread

[virtuocity]

Wonky swings resulting in wonky shots are generally expected by most of us. But what about those moments where our brain actually costs us shots?

Use this thread as a means to confess your golfing slip-ups, mistakes, and general brain-fart moments which has resulted in your round not going as well as it should have.

I'll kick off:

Today I took a practice swing in a bunker. I don't know why I did it, but I did. I then got the ball out first time, and missed the return putt by an inch, resulting in a double bogey.

 

[Khamelion]

Friday night, 6th on the filly over water, I've not played a round since becoming a member and not put a ball into the pond, Friday was no different, sliced hybrid, splash, straight, but instead of dropping next to the water where the ball went in, I played 3 off the tee and went and put another straight in to the water, lesson learned I dropped for 5 where the ball went in, pitch onto the green, way to much spin, the ball nearly spun back into the pond off the green, only stopped because it hit the hazard marker, duffed the chip, left the first putt short, dropped the second to walk off with a 9.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Standing on a Par 3 18th yesterday, 1 under handicap in the County Div 3 Championships, 140 to middle, decided to hit a nice 3/4 6 Iron to clear bunkers at the front, absolutely flushed it, over shot the green by a good 20+ yds straight oob.

Ended up with a 7, Par would of been good enough for runner-up, ended up 17th.

Why didn’t a just hit a normal 8 Iron instead of some clever 3/4 knocked down rubbish!

 

[IanM]

On behalf of my 16 handicap mate in the medal yesterday..... he’s under his handicap net on the long par 3 8th...missed green left he has an easy pitch and run to the front of the green, leaving up hill two putt for a 4 net 3...

Bit for some reason he tried to stun one into the bank between two bunkers, and hoping for a hop up near the flag.

He duffed it short of the bunkers, tries to flop over them, in sand in 3. Bunker shot goes through the green into semi, chip back runs off the front, three putts from there and it’s an 8.

On the way to the next tee he says, should have chipped for the front eh?

 

[louise_a]

Mine are well documented , marking ball off the green, done five times, playing wrong ball on fairway, twice last season.

 

[Foxholer]

This could well be a very long and amusing (to those not involved) thread!

I've too many 'confessions' from many courses to possibly list!

I prefer to remember the good/great shots/results!

 

[Hobbit]

A relatively regular failing of mine is to think, “bloody hell, it’s cleared the green by miles,” only to find that the 7 iron I thought I’d hit was a 5...it could be any combination but I tend to only glance at the bag before reaching in.

 

[PIng]

I occasionally use a 9 iron mistaking it for my 6 iron, and wonder why it comes up short.
At a society comp last month, on the hole nominated for the longest drive prize, I teed it up high, orange castle, but then without thinking reached for my usual 3 wood, resulting a horrible skied shot that went about 30 yards forward.

 

[Bigfoot]

I occasionally use a 9 iron mistaking it for my 6 iron, and wonder why it comes up short.
At a society comp last month, on the hole nominated for the longest drive prize, I teed it up high, orange castle, but then without thinking reached for my usual 3 wood, resulting a horrible skied shot that went about 30 yards forward.

That is a new one on me but a classic!
Thanks for sharing.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Stood on 16th tee today, two under handicap. Toughest driving hole with OOB tight left, clingy semi-rough on the right and two large oak trees at 200 yards on the right edge of the fairway. I usually aim at the two trees and if I go right, play it as a par five (it's SI 3). Was driving well so aimed straight but got nervous over the ball and couldn't settle. Didn't walk away and hit snap hook that did well to stay in bounds but was unplayable. No points and probably cost me a cut and a win

 

[Tashyboy]

Playing over The winter and the gimmes just got ridiculous. You know the story, trying things out over the winter. Anyway we were in a 18 hole comp and I lagged a 30 ft putt to 4". I thought as I was walking up" no one is giving me that so am giving it myself and knocked it 15ft left towards the back of the green. All my playing partners in one " said what you doin you bloody idiot, you have got to putt out" what should of been four for two ended up being six for none. They were all apologetic for whatever reason, me I was just raging inside.

 

[toyboy54]

Dave ...how long have you got??Could be here for a few weeks on this one.Today played the same club three times of the tee with the same result......3 out bounds right!changed to 5 wood and straight down the middle....goodbye 7 shots,thinking of taking up knitting!
Jimbo

 

[Don Barzini]

One that springs to mind for me.....

Was playing a matchplay foursome. Our two opponents had putted out, me and my PP had our balls marked, something like five or six feet each. My PP goes first, sinks his putt for the half. I think "Oh well, mine means nothing" and pick up my marker.

Turns out my putt would have been for the win on that hole. Went on to half the match, so it's not even as if I can say it wouldn't have mattered anyway. D'oh.

 

[FuzzyDuck]

Played in the medal a month or so ago, marked my ball, cleaned it and then picked up my marker without putting the ball down.

 

[Biggleswade Blue]

Faced with a long-ish putt from just off a large-ish green. Ran the ball nicely close to the flag. Only to realise my fellow competitor had removed the flag and was holding it some distance from the hole.

 

[richart]

On a par three in one, and playing a bunker shot for my third.

 

[Don Barzini]

Faced with a long-ish putt from just off a large-ish green. Ran the ball nicely close to the flag. Only to realise my fellow competitor had removed the flag and was holding it some distance from the hole.

Didn't he give you a "Happy with it out?" option first?!

 

[Junior]

On a par three in one, and playing a bunker shot for my third.

On a par 3 in one..............walking off with a 7 (ish)

 

[garyinderry]

Gone home with my card in my back pocket once or twice. funny enough, never when I've had a good score.

 

[Orikoru]

Faced with a long-ish putt from just off a large-ish green. Ran the ball nicely close to the flag. Only to realise my fellow competitor had removed the flag and was holding it some distance from the hole.

Playing over The winter and the gimmes just got ridiculous. You know the story, trying things out over the winter. Anyway we were in a 18 hole comp and I lagged a 30 ft putt to 4". I thought as I was walking up" no one is giving me that so am giving it myself and knocked it 15ft left towards the back of the green. All my playing partners in one " said what you doin you bloody idiot, you have got to putt out" what should of been four for two ended up being six for none. They were all apologetic for whatever reason, me I was just raging inside.

:rofl: These are hilarious!

I played with a chap earlier this year who definitely would have qualified. He went to knock in a one-foot putt left handed with the back of his putter and missed. Fuming!