Room 101

I offer into room 101:

• Yellow Tee boxes - play the whole course not 2/3 of it.
• Injuries.
• Greens that are low single figures - on the stimp!!!!
• White gloves that are not white, I'd rather wear black.
• Crowned holes.
• That broken shell stuff that courses use on paths that gets stuck in your shoes and walked all over the greens.
• Spike bars that you can't sit down in.
• Crap tees that you can't find a flat lie.
• Courses that won't let you play off the back tees but take your money to let you play 2/3 of the course.
• Pitch marks.
• Anyone that doesn't repair pitch marks.
• Holes where you can't see the ball land, or the flag.
• Courses that have been hollow tined but no-one mentioned it when you paid your green fee.
• Courses where you see people walking their dogs.
• Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
• People who expect low handicappers to always play well.
• Anyone who looks for their ball for more than 5 minutes.
• Anyone with a warm up routine of more than 20 minutes. <wink>
• Practice greens that are not the same speed as the course.
• THE SHANKS (in case no-one mentioned them).
• Car parks that are too close to the course.
• Lucky bounces.
• Bunkers with what resembles builders sand in them.
• Practice grounds that are only 150yds long.
• Courses with greens that are smaller than my front garden.
• The Asia course at La Cala!! (it sucks)
• Losing a ball in light rough.
• Clover!!!!! God put it there to p*** off golfers.
• Heather!!! (...see clover)
• Bunkers that have water in them (there's NO excuse)
• Anyone that can't smile when they play.
• Low handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• High handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• Shorts
• Tee times that are too close together.
• Courses constantly flooded with societies.
• Courses without marshalls.
• Low handicappers who don't like playing with high handicappers.
• Greens that haven't seen a roller in years.
• Clubhouses without those air fed shoe cleaning thingys.
• People who moan about slow play.
• People who tee off when you're not out of range.
• People who expect others to hit a great shot just because they waited for the green to be clear.
• Green keepers who put themselves before the players.
• Leaves on greens (trees should be banned near greens)

and finally...
• Long putters !!! Can't stand the things.
Click to expand...


I think you're looking for aircraft hangar 101. ;)
 
I offer into room 101:

• Yellow Tee boxes - play the whole course not 2/3 of it.
• Injuries.
• Greens that are low single figures - on the stimp!!!!
• White gloves that are not white, I'd rather wear black.
• Crowned holes.
• That broken shell stuff that courses use on paths that gets stuck in your shoes and walked all over the greens.
• Spike bars that you can't sit down in.
• Crap tees that you can't find a flat lie.
• Courses that won't let you play off the back tees but take your money to let you play 2/3 of the course.
• Pitch marks.
• Anyone that doesn't repair pitch marks.
• Holes where you can't see the ball land, or the flag.
• Courses that have been hollow tined but no-one mentioned it when you paid your green fee.
• Courses where you see people walking their dogs.
• Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
• People who expect low handicappers to always play well.
• Anyone who looks for their ball for more than 5 minutes.
• Anyone with a warm up routine of more than 20 minutes. <wink>
• Practice greens that are not the same speed as the course.
• THE SHANKS (in case no-one mentioned them).
• Car parks that are too close to the course.
• Lucky bounces.
• Bunkers with what resembles builders sand in them.
• Practice grounds that are only 150yds long.
• Courses with greens that are smaller than my front garden.
• The Asia course at La Cala!! (it sucks)
• Losing a ball in light rough.
• Clover!!!!! God put it there to p*** off golfers.
• Heather!!! (...see clover)
• Bunkers that have water in them (there's NO excuse)
• Anyone that can't smile when they play.
• Low handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• High handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• Shorts
• Tee times that are too close together.
• Courses constantly flooded with societies.
• Courses without marshalls.
• Low handicappers who don't like playing with high handicappers.
• Greens that haven't seen a roller in years.
• Clubhouses without those air fed shoe cleaning thingys.
• People who moan about slow play.
• People who tee off when you're not out of range.
• People who expect others to hit a great shot just because they waited for the green to be clear.
• Green keepers who put themselves before the players.
• Leaves on greens (trees should be banned near greens)

and finally...
• Long putters !!! Can't stand the things.
Click to expand...

Several of the above at Sundridge the other day - including my shorts AND I DON'T CARE :D :D :D
 
I wonder if justone uk and RGDave have chosen the wrong sport?
That is some list. :D :D
Click to expand...

What did I do? It's not my list...it's all the things that make JOuk so happy.

I don't have a list as long as that. My list is so short I've forgotten it.

:cool:
Click to expand...

Sincere apology RGDave, I made a mistake as the quote was so massive I thought it yours...sorry :D
 
We don't want some anaemic warm rasher limply lying in our baguette. We want it curled and knarly for the sauce to run into and the butter to melt over. We want a satisfying crunh as we bite in.
Click to expand...
Just got home 4.30 and read this.... now I'm STARVING!!! :p

Did you write the ads for M&S? :D


(some funny comments in this thread too!!) :D :D

Leftie, thought Sundridge was nice mate, although I mostly saw the rough. Could do with couple more dogleg holes though :cool: :eek: :p
 
I offer into room 101:

• Yellow Tee boxes - play the whole course not 2/3 of it.
• Injuries.
• Greens that are low single figures - on the stimp!!!!
• White gloves that are not white, I'd rather wear black.
• Crowned holes.
• That broken shell stuff that courses use on paths that gets stuck in your shoes and walked all over the greens.
• Spike bars that you can't sit down in.
• Crap tees that you can't find a flat lie.
• Courses that won't let you play off the back tees but take your money to let you play 2/3 of the course.
• Pitch marks.
• Anyone that doesn't repair pitch marks.
• Holes where you can't see the ball land, or the flag.
• Courses that have been hollow tined but no-one mentioned it when you paid your green fee.
• Courses where you see people walking their dogs.
• Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
• People who expect low handicappers to always play well.
• Anyone who looks for their ball for more than 5 minutes.
• Anyone with a warm up routine of more than 20 minutes. <wink>
• Practice greens that are not the same speed as the course.
• THE SHANKS (in case no-one mentioned them).
• Car parks that are too close to the course.
• Lucky bounces.
• Bunkers with what resembles builders sand in them.
• Practice grounds that are only 150yds long.
• Courses with greens that are smaller than my front garden.
• The Asia course at La Cala!! (it sucks)
• Losing a ball in light rough.
• Clover!!!!! God put it there to p*** off golfers.
• Heather!!! (...see clover)
• Bunkers that have water in them (there's NO excuse)
• Anyone that can't smile when they play.
• Low handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• High handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• Shorts
• Tee times that are too close together.
• Courses constantly flooded with societies.
• Courses without marshalls.
• Low handicappers who don't like playing with high handicappers.
• Greens that haven't seen a roller in years.
• Clubhouses without those air fed shoe cleaning thingys.
• People who moan about slow play.
• People who tee off when you're not out of range.
• People who expect others to hit a great shot just because they waited for the green to be clear.
• Green keepers who put themselves before the players.
• Leaves on greens (trees should be banned near greens)

and finally...
• Long putters !!! Can't stand the things.
Click to expand...

Several of the above at Sundridge the other day - including my shorts AND I DON'T CARE :D :D :D
Click to expand...

Never did get to hear about Sundridge. How did it go, who took the wonga, etc.

If some people though more about informing the masses, rather than yabbering on and on and on about this not being right, and that being wrong, and not getting enough shots and why can't we play off the whites- you'd be in trouble then, and why are the fairways so narrow, and who stuck that bush there of all places.

Some of us had to work during the week - what with the bad back, that's 3 weeks without a game - THREE BLIMMIN WEEKS. And now a holiday for 2 more weeks. Sun, sea, relaxation.

And not having to listen to you lot wittering on.

It's just not fair.

:mad:
 
Could do with couple more dogleg holes though :cool: :eek: :p
Click to expand...

There's only the par 3's left ... :D

Just because you can't see the pin from any tee doesn't mean they are doglegs - just a bit of a bend :D :D

Oh. And well done to Murph who took the money. Superb back 9 (1 over gross if I remember correctly).

The new dream team of JustOneUk and Leftie was comprehensively slaughtered. :o :o
 
Clubhouses that dish up soggy bacon for the pre match butties. Bacon is crispy. Always has been always will be. We don't want some anaemic warm rasher limply lying in our baguette. We want it curled and knarly for the sauce to run into and the butter to melt over. We want a satisfying crunh as we bite in.

If you can't serve a proper bacon butty I condemn thee to the kitchen of golfs room 101
Click to expand...

Mingy crispy burnt bacon - youch room 101 for that.
 
Clubhouses where the coffee comes from a machine, and a special place in golfing hell for those that don't give change.

Golf courses where the approach is a rutted hell and the car park a free-for-all assault course.

Practice facilities that comprise a couple of threadbare nets and mats with more grit than the Highways Agency.

Bunkers, stones in, water in, no sand in
 
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