Random Irritations

[Pin-seeker]

I have exactly the same thing with my parents.

My Mum is really not well and will often sign to various things and then has no idea she has done it.

She has always been the one who takes care of the finances and my Dad has no idea about any of it.

I have offered to take over the finances or even to help but she won’t have any of it.

I’m sure she has car insurance and she hasn’t driven for about 5 years.

For the moment I just let her carry on as they seem happy and think they are on top of it all.

It worries me that if I did take it all over it’s more of their independence they are losing which is something really important to them both and might bring them closer to the end.

It’s a no win situation really and no idea what is the best solution other than try and help and be as supportive as possible.

We have this with the mother in law,I don’t know how the Mrs copes with her.
The Mrs called in on her a few months back & a double glazing salesman was there trying to fleece her.
When the Mrs asked him to leave he got stroppy.
I went over and politely told him what a piece of he was & insisted he leave sharpish.
The price he quoted was mental.
Plus I’d replaced all her windows 2 years previous.

Takes a certain type of scum to do that job.

 

[irip]

@irip he's been ripped off on a number of occasions but he won't accept help. He's one of those people who knows best and gets incredibly defensive if you try to help or he discovers that yes, he has had his eyes taken out. Our worry is always that he will get taken in a big way one day, he is very vulnerable on that front.

I wonder if these people ever looked at their parents, in laws and thought the same. Surely we won't follow and be as stubborn...............

Both myself and my sister have at various stages managed to intercept different scams but when they are actually paying for something like a service it’s more difficult.

One good thing is they don’t really understand technology so will ask for help which allows us to try and find out more of what they are doing.

They have both been out of contract for mobile phones for a long time but my Mums phone stopped working so she was all set to buy a new one for about a grand until my sister realised.

I have now got them set up on my plan at work and told them not to worry about it and any problems let me know.

My mum is now worried that it is costing me money for their phone, I have tried to explain it’s through the company but she wants to pay so have set up a direct debit for £10 a month.

She is happy with that but I wonder how much other stuff is coming out of her account.

 

[AussieKB]

It is a commonly practiced business policy these days - preying on the vulnerable and the elderly. Utility companies, insurance companies banks, broad band providers etc. etc.

It is truly a shocking way to make money by supposedly trusted companies who 'steal' money from people whose 'crime' is to give them their loyalty.

We need more Beekeeper's.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I recommend talking to them about Lasting Power of Attorney. You don’t have to trigger it as soon as you get it, but it’s a lot easier to get whilst they’re still capable of understanding what they’re signing up for.

Absolutely second this.
I failed to do this with my Mum and when she was declared unable to manage her affairs I had to apply to the Office of the Public Guardian to manage her affairs. I'd been a Senior Manager in Financial Services for 30+ years but they ruled that I wasn't qualified and needed supervision (from them). Over the next few years they imposed regular "supervision" fees which were taken from my Mum's remaining savings whilst they gave no practical assistance or advice. It was a cash scam. It culminated in me refusing to pay, incurring "arrears" and threats of "further action".
I wrote to my MP and the Minister for Justice to no effect but eventually the OPG simply fell silent after many written protests from me.
A very stressful and disgraceful experience.
Whilst your elders are in possession of their faculties a conversation about PoA is difficult but essential.
It can be done online through Gov. UK for around £180 per parent.
The OPG skinned me (my Mum) for a few grand for doing nothing of worth.

 

[Slab]

My FiL, 88, is going to move house next Friday. It's all a bit overwhelming for him so I and my wife are helping out with the nitty gritty of it. My wife got onto Sky today to start the house move, should be simple process. As she was doing this she discovered he is paying £150 for the full Sky package including broadband . Absolute theft. No idea how long he has been paying that. We try to help but he wont let us, 'you think I'm stupid, don't you?' Mmmmmmmm. Anyway, she got it down to £89.

The irritation, not new on here, is that Sky having been ripping him off for however long it has been

hi, while I have sympathy, but I've read it a couple of times and not sure what sky actually did? Was FiL paying for services not provided or being overcharged above the standard rate?
Both the above are pretty bad but if an error on their part then hopefully some refund may be in order

Assuming it wasn't one of the two scenarios above; I get that loads of folk are adept at negotiating discounts but does that then mean anyone not getting a discount is being ripped off?
In tesco yesterday I see a great many items with dual pricing, one is discounted under some scheme, are tescos ripping off anyone paying the standard price?

If something cost 50 and some folk have the wherewithal to negotiate a price of 40 is everyone paying 50 ripped off? and if a smaller group are actually savvy enough to negotiate a price of 35 are all the ppl paying 40 now being ripped off too

I get when its family it all becomes personal and our protector genes kick in & maybe its just me being out of UK for years now and I dont have the benefit of current uk cynicism So I apologise for my post
Maybe sky are now a bit like a DFS sofa sale where no one ever pays the normal un-discounted price

 

[Hobbit]

Both myself and my sister have at various stages managed to intercept different scams but when they are actually paying for something like a service it’s more difficult.

One good thing is they don’t really understand technology so will ask for help which allows us to try and find out more of what they are doing.

They have both been out of contract for mobile phones for a long time but my Mums phone stopped working so she was all set to buy a new one for about a grand until my sister realised.

I have now got them set up on my plan at work and told them not to worry about it and any problems let me know.

My mum is now worried that it is costing me money for their phone, I have tried to explain it’s through the company but she wants to pay so have set up a direct debit for £10 a month.

She is happy with that but I wonder how much other stuff is coming out of her account.

If you can, have a look at their bank statements. When Mrs H triggered the (standing) Lasting Power of Attorney she got to look at MiL’s bank statements. She spotted a few small Direct Debits, £4.99 here £9.99 there, that just didn’t smell right. A call to the bank started an investigation which then showed that the several small monthly payments were all going to the same account, and had been for a couple of years at least.

This led to a deeper investigation, also viewing one off payments made whilst MiL was managing her accounts, some of which went to different bogus creditors. Almost £10,000 scammed, the majority of which went to one individual scammer.

Her details had been sold on the dark web. Thankfully, most of the money was recovered but it’s understandable how a vulnerable adult can be scammed out of what appears to them to be multiples of trivial amounts.

 

[Slab]

Jeez, what happens to a bladder when its cold!

I can literally go 8-10 hours during the day without needing to pee. Back in uk just now and peeing so many times its not funny

 

[Neilds]

Jeez, what happens to a bladder when its cold!

I can literally go 8-10 hours during the day without needing to pee. Back in uk just now and peeing so many times its not funny

There is also the phenomenon of ‘holiday bladder’. I suffer from this. I suspect that your body thinks you need to keep your baggage allowance low so it shrinks the size of your bladder accordingly and means you need to go more often when on holiday.


Or it could be the fact I drink a fair bit more when on holiday

 

[Lord Tyrion]

@Slab they are taking advantage of the vulnerable. They don't have a fixed price, it's variable in the extreme. Unless you ring them, go through the negotiating process every couple of years, you will end up paying significantly more than others. I'm not asking for a discount for all, I'm asking for fair pricing for all. The current system penalises those who are intimidated by call centres, who get easily confused etc. I'm pretty sure if sky ever allowed a deep dive on their numbers, they never would, then the vast majority of those paying the highest bills would be the elderly. Not getting anything extra, just paying more. That doesn't sit right with me.

 

[KenL]

@Slab they are taking advantage of the vulnerable. They don't have a fixed price, it's variable in the extreme. Unless you ring them, go through the negotiating process every couple of years, you will end up paying significantly more than others. I'm not asking for a discount for all, I'm asking for fair pricing for all. The current system penalises those who are intimidated by call centres, who get easily confused etc. I'm pretty sure if sky ever allowed a deep dive on their numbers, they never would, then the vast majority of those paying the highest bills would be the elderly. Not getting anything extra, just paying more. That doesn't sit right with me.

100%. Sky’s method of getting money in is totally underhand and takes advantage of the vulnerable.

 

[Slab]

@Slab they are taking advantage of the vulnerable. They don't have a fixed price, it's variable in the extreme. Unless you ring them, go through the negotiating process every couple of years, you will end up paying significantly more than others. I'm not asking for a discount for all, I'm asking for fair pricing for all. The current system penalises those who are intimidated by call centres, who get easily confused etc. I'm pretty sure if sky ever allowed a deep dive on their numbers, they never would, then the vast majority of those paying the highest bills would be the elderly. Not getting anything extra, just paying more. That doesn't sit right with me.

I dunno if sky even know your FiL age, let alone if he's vulnerable
They do know he hasn't asked for a discount. Is that because he's vulnerable or a multi millionaire, obviously one more likely than the other
I'm sure their pricing could be lower for all, step one would be declining mass discounts for every tom, dick etc that calls then threatening to leave when they really don't want to leave

I know the above is kinda blunt but between them companies and consumers have both created this mess

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I dunno if sky even know your FiL age, let alone if he's vulnerable
They do know he hasn't asked for a discount. Is that because he's vulnerable or a multi millionaire, obviously one more likely than the other
I'm sure their pricing could be lower for all, step one would be declining mass discounts for every tom, dick etc that calls then threatening to leave when they really don't want to leave

I know the above is kinda blunt but between them companies and consumers have both created this mess

Consumers have had to react to the way Sky behaves, they have not driven this. We will have to disagree on this one.

 

[IanM]

I had an issue with Sky last year
I found out who is the Director of Customer Service, and messaged her direct. By passed all the nonsense.

I'll try and find the details when I get back. If they've been unreasonable, complain to the boss. It works

 

[Voyager EMH]

Too hot to wear jumpers out here....

Apart from the top of Mt Kosciuszko, which Mrs V and I did in December one year. Last bit was tricky through the snow.

 

[D-S]

hi, while I have sympathy, but I've read it a couple of times and not sure what sky actually did? Was FiL paying for services not provided or being overcharged above the standard rate?
Both the above are pretty bad but if an error on their part then hopefully some refund may be in order

Assuming it wasn't one of the two scenarios above; I get that loads of folk are adept at negotiating discounts but does that then mean anyone not getting a discount is being ripped off?
In tesco yesterday I see a great many items with dual pricing, one is discounted under some scheme, are tescos ripping off anyone paying the standard price?

If something cost 50 and some folk have the wherewithal to negotiate a price of 40 is everyone paying 50 ripped off? and if a smaller group are actually savvy enough to negotiate a price of 35 are all the ppl paying 40 now being ripped off too

I get when its family it all becomes personal and our protector genes kick in & maybe its just me being out of UK for years now and I dont have the benefit of current uk cynicism So I apologise for my post
Maybe sky are now a bit like a DFS sofa sale where no one ever pays the normal un-discounted price

It’s not whether they are adept at negotiating discounts, it’s just that many assume, that a trusted supplier (bank or insurance company) to whom they have been loyal for decades, will renew their policy at their best rate.
In fact the opposite is true. They continue to increase the price every year for these people at the ridiculous initial offer, then increase it the following year x% higher than last year’s ridiculous offer.

One example from my parents in law who were paying over £1500 a year for their home and contents insurance. The provider kept on upping the price year on year, nothing to do with the market price. When we took over we did a comparison and could not find any provider who quoted more than £400 on a like for like basis.

The dodgy ‘fly by night’ provider who were happy to charge their customer nearly 4 times more than the most expensive option? The high street bank with whom they had been loyal customers for over 40 years.
As I say, an odious business practice.

 

[Neilds]

It’s not whether they are adept at negotiating discounts, it’s just that many assume, that a trusted supplier (bank or insurance company) to whom they have been loyal for decades, will renew their policy at their best rate.
In fact the opposite is true. They continue to increase the price every year for these people at the ridiculous initial offer, then increase it the following year x% higher than last year’s ridiculous offer.

One example from my parents in law who were paying over £1500 a year for their home and contents insurance. The provider kept on upping the price year on year, nothing to do with the market price. When we took over we did a comparison and could not find any provider who quoted more than £400 on a like for like basis.

The dodgy ‘fly by night’ provider who were happy to charge their customer nearly 4 times more than the most expensive option? The high street bank with whom they had been loyal customers for over 40 years.
As I say, an odious business practice.

Whilst I agree it is not the best business practice, this sort of thing has been known about for years and people should be more aware of it and shop around, ring up, etc. Not always easy for some people but to put all the blame on the companies is a bit simplistic and also a bit wrong.

 

[irip]

If you can, have a look at their bank statements. When Mrs H triggered the (standing) Lasting Power of Attorney she got to look at MiL’s bank statements. She spotted a few small Direct Debits, £4.99 here £9.99 there, that just didn’t smell right. A call to the bank started an investigation which then showed that the several small monthly payments were all going to the same account, and had been for a couple of years at least.

This led to a deeper investigation, also viewing one off payments made whilst MiL was managing her accounts, some of which went to different bogus creditors. Almost £10,000 scammed, the majority of which went to one individual scammer.

Her details had been sold on the dark web. Thankfully, most of the money was recovered but it’s understandable how a vulnerable adult can be scammed out of what appears to them to be multiples of trivial amounts.

I didn’t know how to put an emoji that conveyed both a thank you for the advice and a I hope these people reap what they sow.

So I’m going with

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Whilst I agree it is not the best business practice, this sort of thing has been known about for years and people should be more aware of it and shop around, ring up, etc. Not always easy for some people but to put all the blame on the companies is a bit simplistic and also a bit wrong.

It isn't simplistic, it comes down to whether the company or organisation have any sort of morals in their business practices. I've run a business for years, it is not compulsory to rip the eyes out of your loyal customers. It's a choice.

 

[jim8flog]

Too hot to wear jumpers out here....

Not even a Kangaroo one!!

 

[jim8flog]

Nearly time for me to get my Christmas jumpers and t-shirts out - love Christmas!

I got a ticking off once - I wore a Christmas tie to my first Seniors Christmas lunch- they expected a Seniors club tie to be worn ( a rule long since gone).