Midlife Crisis.

5OTT

Newbie
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
69
Location
Manchester
Visit site
I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.
 

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,465
Visit site
I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.

When I knew I was going to to retire, I set myself up looking forward to the next chapter in my life. Keep active, Play golf, season ticket for Man City, see more of the grandkids, holidays, walking etc etc.

At 59 next month that’s middle age.

Make a bucket list of things you want to do. ?
 

Canary_Yellow

Journeyman Pro
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
2,862
Location
Kent
Visit site
Is it a midlife crisis per se, or just life wearing you down since Covid? I’ve found things incredibly monotonous for the last few months in particular, winter doesn’t help.

I’m going to the football on Saturday with family, which is giving me something to look forward to. That’s my tactic, try and line things up that are a bit different and give me something to look forward to.
 

YandaB

Newbie
Joined
Apr 10, 2018
Messages
1,149
Visit site
I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.
I can 100% relate to that, I keep looking at my pensions and trying to work out what I actually need and be able to set an end date. I just can't find the answer I'm looking for!
This year we have booked more holidays than usual (I didn't put a day in the budget for H4H though :oops:) so there is more to look forward to.
 

RichA

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
3,636
Location
UK
Visit site
I'm going through similar spells.
At the moment I'm desperately reminding myself not to wish my life away. As much as I'm looking forward to retiring in relatively early middle-age, Dad might not be around then, my health might not be so good, etc.
Not supposed to sound pessimistic, just don't forget to live a little in the now, rather than piling all our hopes on the future.
 

5OTT

Newbie
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
69
Location
Manchester
Visit site
Is it a midlife crisis per se, or just life wearing you down since Covid? I’ve found things incredibly monotonous for the last few months in particular, winter doesn’t help.

I’m going to the football on Saturday with family, which is giving me something to look forward to. That’s my tactic, try and line things up that are a bit different and give me something to look forward to.

I don't think Covid has helped at all but it's deeper rooted than that.

One thing it has done though is to convince me that time with the family is much more important than work, I haven't had anything more than 2 weeks off work since I was 16 and have always enjoyed my job. Now I honestly have no interest in it at all other than saving as much as I can in order to get off the hamster wheel. I look forward to Friday's when I see the Grandkids for a few hours but then hit a huge low when I leave knowing it's going to be another week until I can see them again.

I understand what you mean about lining up little things to look forward to though, I do find it helps and plan to do more of it.
 

5OTT

Newbie
Joined
Oct 1, 2014
Messages
69
Location
Manchester
Visit site
I wish I was having a midlife crisis. Means I'll live to 150.?

Blimey....Good advice above , and
Count your blessings!

I think this is what bothers me the most, I am extremely blessed and remind myself all the time.
I look around and see the hardship that people are going through and feel guilty that I feel this way.
 

chrisd

Major Champion
Joined
Sep 22, 2009
Messages
24,943
Location
Kent
Visit site
I found moving into retirement difficult. I had worked since I was 15 and never was out of work. I ended up with my own business and called it a day at 62. I lasted a few months and then found a (very) part time job which I've been doing now for 7 years. Not a mid life crisis but i understand the feelings you're having and can only say that imo the best thing to do is to find different ways to keep busy, hobbies, part time work, anything to stretch the day out and especially see the grandchildren as often as possible.

Good wishes
 

Tashyboy

Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
19,465
Visit site
I don't think Covid has helped at all but it's deeper rooted than that.

One thing it has done though is to convince me that time with the family is much more important than work, I haven't had anything more than 2 weeks off work since I was 16 and have always enjoyed my job. Now I honestly have no interest in it at all other than saving as much as I can in order to get off the hamster wheel. I look forward to Friday's when I see the Grandkids for a few hours but then hit a huge low when I leave knowing it's going to be another week until I can see them again.

I understand what you mean about lining up little things to look forward to though, I do find it helps and plan to do more of it.

we have had the grandkids on and off for well nine years Now. With no end in sight. I see more of the grandkids than I dId my own. Primarily because of the hours my job took..
Part of retirement is spending time and holidays with the kids. Taking them to pirate village in Majorca in April. Me I would be trying to spend quality/ memory time with the kids. Trust me sometimes they do your flippin head in. But they helped me and Missis T through COVID. See about them staying overnight, then spend all night with one eye open coz you cannot sleep. ?
 

Hobbit

Mordorator
Moderator
Joined
Sep 11, 2011
Messages
19,613
Location
Espana
Visit site
The treadmill can be a grind but it doesn’t hurt to take a step back and reevaluate what you want from life. You say you love the time with your grandchildren, so make it more memorable. Book a long weekend at Center Parcs with them. Take them to Disneyland. There’s so many things you could schedule, even a weekend in London on the train. But spread them out so that isn’t a glut of highs followed by long spells of lows.

If work is getting you down, can you change jobs or careers. Plan for when you can leave permanently, and not just the date. Create a bucket list - my boss told me I’d be climbing the walls in months. My bucket list included everything from new camera gear to visiting The Great Wall of China, and there’s now stuff that wasn’t even on the bucket list.

Get yourself a plan, small steps so that it isn’t demoralising, and build towards that (golden) future.
 

williamalex1

Money List Winner
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
13,645
Location
uddingston
Visit site
I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: I'm 75 , just get on with it the best you can kiddo:p:p
 

Imurg

The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Joined
Mar 15, 2008
Messages
37,507
Location
Aylesbury Bucks
Visit site
Since covid took over I've certainly re-evaluated my lifestyle...
My line of work has become a pain in the butt in the last few years and every month something happens that kicks me closer to jacking it all in.
It's going to take years to get my industry back to anywhere near normal and I'm not sure I've got enough patience left to have to deal with the hierarchy who simply seem to dream up new ideas to justify their existence.
It's come to the point where I don't have to work full-time anymore....so I'm not. Technically there's no retirement age for me, I can keep going as long as I can keep going..59 this year and, unless something really drags me down, I'll probably keep at it for another 8-10 -years but I won't hesitate to move on if I'm not happy.
I'm doing enough to keep things ticking over but it gives me enough time to play golf virtually every day..it may only be 9 before work but I'm playing 5/6 times a week and when the only places I feel truly comfortable these days are at home and on the course, it's keeping me in a good place most of the time.
If I can spend the afternoon sitting in my chair with golf on the box and browsing the net..I'm good, especially if I've had a round that morning
I made the decision to not be a slave to work anymore.
My only vice is golf and im committing more time to it and will continue to do so as long as I can.
 

KenL

Tour Rookie
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
7,238
Location
East Lothian
Visit site
Sorry to hear this.
Have you thought about immersing yourself in a new hobby, preferably one that takes you outdoors. Things like photography combined with walking might be worth considering.
Alternatively, speak to your GP. They might recommend some councilling or a mindfulness course.
 

RichA

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
3,636
Location
UK
Visit site
Funnily enough, I was 53 when I succumbed to my "mid life crisis"....
View attachment 40960
I've been having mid-life crises for a decade now. The toys provide some brief distraction, but not a solution.
I thought I might tip over the edge when I had to quit cricket a couple of years ago, but along came Covid and my discovery of golf.
I do still feel like there should be something else though. We've been without a dog for over 10 years now - that will be sorted within days of retirement. Hopefully that's the missing piece of the jigsaw.

E722A02F-5467-4141-B584-69A826873AB5.jpeg
0A14B3CC-4431-41E2-AAE5-D5DD9FE66D5C.jpeg
EEEEA852-AC1F-464A-A4A2-B38AE92DB222.jpeg
 

SwingsitlikeHogan

Major Champion
Joined
Jul 24, 2012
Messages
33,088
Visit site
If you can afford the bills to keep a roof over your head, keep yourself warm and fed, either without work or without your current work, then perhaps ask what's important in life for you. Having and spending money or living. You can have a fullfilling life not spending much money and not buying stuff. We are only here once...and we cannot see what is round the corner of life.
 
Top