Midlife Crisis.

[PhilTheFragger]

4 years ago I had a proper mid life crisis
Recovering from 2 major surgeries in 12 months resulted in my being unable to work and the collapse of both my IT support business and my marriage.

I was 57 unemployed and living with my dear old mum and having counselling for PTSD (one of the surgeries was pretty traumatic)

Got my health sorted, started temping, found a decent job, totally different to what I was doing before, found a new lady friend (lord knows how)

And I’m now fully recovered, in a job I really like, in a stable relationship with a lovely lady (same one), financially secure and with a great relationship with my 3 daughters

I did splash out on The Frag Jag, which is an absolute joy



So it is possible to totally reinvent yourself at any age,

Just wish I had time for more golf, I might get better (or less worse)

Still only 7 years till pensions kick in and then it’s MY time

 

[Smiffy]

Worth avoiding, far too risky for me, thing of beauty though.

That's why the Missus got me to sell it 5 years later....

 

[Deleted member 23270]

Chase after the gorgeous 18yo barmaid in your local. Good luck trying to catch her but at least it will keep you fit ?

 

[Blue in Munich]

4 years ago I had a proper mid life crisis
Recovering from 2 major surgeries in 12 months resulted in my being unable to work and the collapse of both my IT support business and my marriage.

I was 57 unemployed and living with my dear old mum and having counselling for PTSD (one of the surgeries was pretty traumatic)

Got my health sorted, started temping, found a decent job, totally different to what I was doing before, found a new lady friend (lord knows how)

And I’m now fully recovered, in a job I really like, in a stable relationship with a lovely lady (same one), financially secure and with a great relationship with my 3 daughters

I did splash out on The Frag Jag, which is an absolute joy
View attachment 40964


So it is possible to totally reinvent yourself at any age,

Just wish I had time for more golf, I might get better (or less worse)

Still only 7 years till pensions kick in and then it’s MY time

We were asking the same question...

Morning Fragger

 

[Hobbit]

That's why the Missus got me to sell it 5 years later....

Bought at 52 and 5 years later Mrs Hobbit said….

 

[IanM]

I stopped working last October at age 57. The transition isn't easy and I'm sure the darker winter evenings don't help. I've booked lots of golf and I'm planning more holidays.

Try and do stuff that's fun. Try new stuff just for the heck of it. If your reaction is to decline an invitation, go anyway! Stop watching bbc news and anything negative!

If it doesn't lift, see your GP, there could be other things to fix.

 

[Imurg]

Bought at 52 and 5 years later Mrs Hobbit said….


View attachment 40965

Wow..a self-riding bike....can't see anyone riding it...

 

[phillarrow]

I think this is what bothers me the most, I am extremely blessed and remind myself all the time.
I look around and see the hardship that people are going through and feel guilty that I feel this way.

Hi, I don't know you from Adam but I need to respond to this part of the above post. I work in the field of mental health and I can tell you that this last line is one you really need to avoid. You're being far too hard on yourself if you tell yourself that you're not allowed to feel down because others have it worse than you. One of the things wrong with the way marketing/the internet/media etc. works these days is in promoting the ideas that a) we always need to be happy and that this undiluted happiness is an achievable thing, and b) that happiness can be bought.

My advice would be to allow yourself to accept that it is perfectly normal to have down times, to feel a bit ground down by things, and to struggle not to come down too much after a high - e.g. after your grandkids leave. This is especially true in these most unstable of times and these are normal, natural emotions - fighting against them is the route to depression.

Instead, can I suggest that you write down the things in your life that make you happy.
Then write down the things that make you less happy.
Then connect them - what are the things that make you unhappy but that allow you to do the things that make you happy?
For example, you might have a job that is very well paid but that you hate. If leaving it would make you happier, then leave, but consider how much it allows you to do before you decide to change.
You may have to make some sacrifices on some of the things you love in order to remove some of the things you hate, but as long as you make those sacrifices knowingly and consciously, you're unlikely to live with 'what ifs' about your decisions.
After you've done the lists and decided on what, if anything, you are going to change, just choose the order to make these changes based on risk v reward.
Once that is done, go about doing more of what you like, less of what you dislike, and accept that you're at a phase in your life that is universally difficult for the vast majority of the population, so it's okay to not feel okay at times and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

I hope that helps in some small way.

 

[Tashyboy]

Since covid took over I've certainly re-evaluated my lifestyle...
My line of work has become a pain in the butt in the last few years and every month something happens that kicks me closer to jacking it all in.
It's going to take years to get my industry back to anywhere near normal and I'm not sure I've got enough patience left to have to deal with the hierarchy who simply seem to dream up new ideas to justify their existence.
It's come to the point where I don't have to work full-time anymore....so I'm not. Technically there's no retirement age for me, I can keep going as long as I can keep going..59 this year and, unless something really drags me down, I'll probably keep at it for another 8-10 -years but I won't hesitate to move on if I'm not happy.
I'm doing enough to keep things ticking over but it gives me enough time to play golf virtually every day..it may only be 9 before work but I'm playing 5/6 times a week and when the only places I feel truly comfortable these days are at home and on the course, it's keeping me in a good place most of the time.
If I can spend the afternoon sitting in my chair with golf on the box and browsing the net..I'm good, especially if I've had a round that morning
I made the decision to not be a slave to work anymore.
My only vice is golf and im committing more time to it and will continue to do so as long as I can.

This, this and a bit more of this.

 

[IanM]

Another lesson for me in past 4 months is that some days, doing absolutely is ok!!

It's not a wasted day, it's recharging !

 

[Foxholer]

I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.

Welcome to February!
It'll be fine in April when Golf (and the far more important aspects of life) is/are much more a pleasure than a drudge!

 

[SocketRocket]

Rather than look for something leisurely why not something demanding that challenges you. When I was around your age I did an Open University Degree, it was hard work but really worth it. It doesn't need to be a subject related to your career, it can be one that you've always wanted to study that is completely different to your work.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Another lesson for me in past 4 months is that some days, doing absolutely is ok!!

It's not a wasted day, it's recharging !

Something I've learned to appreciate during Covid for my own well being

 

[Ye Olde Boomer]

I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.

Midlife crisis is rough because we're led to think that it all means something,
that we were were supposed to get stuff done,
when in reality, life just happens to all of us.

Here's some advice that I wish people had given me.
Enjoy your fifties becaue your seventies are going to suck a hell of a lot more.

 

[drdel]

Midlife crisis is rough because we're led to think that it all means something,
that we were were supposed to get stuff done,
when in reality, life just happens to all of us.

Here's some advice that I wish people had given me.
Enjoy your fifties becaue your seventies are going to suck a hell of a lot more.

There's nowt wrong with being 75, I'm looking forward to my mid-life crisis!

 

[Slime]

I suppose at 53 I am pushing it a little with calling it a Midlife Crisis but here goes.

I feel like I have lost all purpose in my life, I have no motivation anymore. Things I used to enjoy now just feel like a chore.

I know i'm in a rut but just can't drag myself out of it, on the face of it I have a good life and very little to complain about but I just feel hollow.
It's like i'm just going through the motions until I can retire.

Has anyone else been through this?
I am just curious how people push through it.

Been there, done that. This all sounds very familiar.
But, this doesn't sound like a mid-life crisis to me ..................................... it sounds more like depression.
Go and see your doctor, IMMEDIATELY.
Trust me, I know how destructive depression can be if left unchecked.
Your doctor can either begin treatment or maybe tell you it's not depression, which would be good.
The guys on here all have genuinely good intentions, me included, but we are not experts, your doctor is.
Do yourself a favour, go see your doctor.

Oh, and don't rush out and buy a motorbike.

 

[Blue in Munich]

Been there, done that. This all sounds very familiar.
But, this doesn't sound like a mid-life crisis to me ..................................... it sounds more like depression.
Go and see your doctor, IMMEDIATELY.
Trust me, I know how destructive depression can be if left unchecked.
Your doctor can either begin treatment or maybe tell you it's not depression, which would be good.
The guys on here all have genuinely good intentions, me included, but we are not experts, your doctor is.
Do yourself a favour, go see your doctor.

Oh, and don't rush out and buy a motorbike.

Very good advice, apart from the last sentence. ?

 

[stefanovic]

The novelty of a new gadget soon wears off.
Don't try and buy your way out.
Get used to your new old body.

"That painful relationship we had in the past — the person we had it with doesn’t exist anymore. The person we were doesn’t exist anymore, not even an atom, not even a trace. The issues don’t exist anymore — they existed in the past, not now. So why are we recreating it all?"

Heraclitus famously said, 'You can’t step in the same river twice."

 

[Smiffy]

Bought at 52 and 5 years later Mrs Hobbit said….


View attachment 40965

As the old Viffer. I had 3 of those, a 750, 800FiY and the dreaded V-TEC.