Laughter - the best medicine

Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,766
Location
Hornchurch
75 year old golfer tells his doctor, I'm just not feeling quite right, I'm tired and my back is sore all the time all. And to make matters worse I've lost at least 100 yards from my drives.
The doc says this quite normal it happens with age, but we'll do some blood test anyway, come back in 2 weeks.
Back 2 weeks later the Doc says I'm afraid I have some very bad news for you.
The blood test show you have a rare incurable Chinese disease called Yellow 48 .
We can give you meds that reduce the pain but nothing else can be done.
Old guy say what can I do at my age now that I can't play any sports ? Doc says try Bingo and a few drinks won't do you any harm.

So he goes to the Bingo , 1st game is a pyramid, after 6 numbers, bingo he's a winner.
Next up is any line bingo he's a winner again.
Next up full house bingo he wins again.
Next up the Flyover jackpot involving all the other county clubs, bingo again.

The bingo caller announces you are the luckiest player we've ever had in our club.
The old guy shouts back you think I'm LUCKY, I've got yellow 48.

Bingo caller shouts FFS you've won the raffle too. :p
Well done Bill, I knew you could do it.😁
 

patricks148

Global Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
21,900
Location
Highlands
not sure if its true came up on one of the GSP groups, but found it funny anyway
So I woke up and my dog is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit's not bloody, just dirty. My neighbor's kids raise blue ribbon rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of theirs.

I took the rabbit away from my dog, rushed inside, and washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could come home. It was stiff but I heard some animals play dead when they are afraid but I couldn't remember which ones. I took it and placed it back in one of the cages in their back yard then I ZOOMED back home. (Don't judge me
)
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming so I go out and ask them what's wrong? They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.
 
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
11,109
Location
Surrey
I was offered sex today with a 21 year old girl.
In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaning product to all of my friends.
Obviously I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a very strong willpower.
Almost as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented with lemon or vanilla!
 
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
11,033
Location
uddingston
I was offered sex today with a 21 year old girl.
In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaning product to all of my friends.
Obviously I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a very strong willpower.
Almost as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented with lemon or vanilla!
Today an oriental girl offered me sex, she only looked about 15.
So I said "no chance you're way too young " she said " How you know my Name " :whistle:
 
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