Just for Grumpies

[RGDave]

Drivers who edge out into the middle of the road trying to force you to let them out.
If I want to let you out I will, don't wind me up by trying to intimidate me as a smack on the nose might offend.

Whoops.....Houston, we have a problem.
I have to do this every day (at least once), I live on a main road, if I didn't nudge out, I'd sit there all day.
I tend to pull out in front of the Audi drivers though, not the Mercs....

I'd been sat there for 10 minutes once and went for it. The driver of the oncoming car (going about 45 in a 30) flashed me about 5 times in frustration. So, handbrake on, out of the car, 3 iron out the boot, check dent in shaft, return to boot..... , stall car (actually that wasn't a wind-up) and drive on......

 

[TRS30]

People who park in two spots

 

[Herbie]

4x4 drivers who for some reason refuse to move over onto the grass on narrow roads/lanes and in doing so make an ordinary car driver grapple with off roading. Same people also do not slow down on blind bends as they obviously dont mind killing someone.

 

[Herbie]

Oh and the enormous number of drivers who dawdle on the open road at 40/45 only to reach built up area 30 limit where the much greater hazards are and try to do 40/45??????
What mental activity goes on in their heads?

 

[GB72]

Tractor drivers on country lanes who refuse to let any of the 40 cars queuing behind them past despite the fact there are no areas to overtake for miles.

 

[Yerman]

Drivers who overtake - sorry bob. However often they take their lives in there hands screaming down the wrong side of the road to get to where they going 10 seconds quicker, they never seem to get it.

and caravans!

 

[Imurg]

Drivers who overtake

The Police once did a very unscientific test. They took 2 identical cars and left from the same point to travel a predetermined route of about 40 miles covering all types of road. One car had to stick rigidly to the speed limit and the other - as long as they were safe - could break it.

How much sooner did the speeding car get to the destination?
When I first heard this I thought 5 maybe 6 minutes.

The answer?






97 seconds

 

[kid2]

.....
Waiting to tee off when the group in front of you is on the fairway 300 yards from the green and waiting for the green to clear with an iron in there hand in the off chance of the 1,000,000,000/1 odds they reach it with the 3mph breeze behind them.
........

Impatient people

Slightly Robo.....

Are you not seeing just the slightest hint of irony in this post??

 

[Canfordhacker]

People who leave their trolleys in the middle of the aisles while they wander off

That's a heck of a shot to get it through Sainsbury's front door. Do you get relief?

 

[Doh]

People who dont tie up their rubbish bags dump them on the road and wait for the wind to blow their crap all over the place.

 

[grumpyjock]

Could it be there is no place for him to pull in and let you past.

 

[viscount17]

Don't drive so close up behind me that I can't see your number plate. If I brake, you WON'T stop in time. Happened once before and he didn't. I proceeded to extract him from his vehicle via a half opened window.

you're worried about the number plate? I had a complete richard behind me and I couldn't even see the whole of his windscreen!

just what are the signs for? baby on board - and you're driving at 60 in a 30 limit?

the one I want is the crossed out disabled sticker with the words 'stupidity doesn't count'
- it's for those wonderful people who park on corners, across parking bays, opposite traffic islands so no one gets through,
and I have a special hell for those who drive against the arrows in car parks,
- free free to add your own

 

[JustOne]

Or people who insist on sitting in the middle lane of the motorway when the inside lane is completely clear. You can't overtake 'cos cars are streaming down the outside lane and won't let you out, and despite you flashing the prat in front, he won't move over to the left....
MOVE OVER YOU USELESS BLOODY TOSSERS!!!!!!

Probably my No1 hate... so much so that recently I've become DANGEROUS (I'm not proud about it either) and fly down the left lane at 99mph quite often now, passing all the idiots who don't know what it means to MOVE OVER!!!!!!!!!

It's so simple, if you are not going to go past the car to your left within the next 10 seconds - MOVE OVER! Don't lamely limp along matching it's frikkin' speed, either go past and pull in or get behind it!

There should be a change in the law... pass a proper motorway test or don't get a licence.

Traffic moves better on a dual carriageway in France than it does in 3 lanes in the UK - useless!

Yours
erm,.. Anonymous

 

[JustOne]

Oh I forgot...

People who complain about smokers whilst pouring pint after pint of lager into their bloated fat bodies, and then puking/starting a fight/getting into their car/beating the wife/or generally looking like a scruffy fat drunk slob.

 

[Fyldewhite]

- People who think driving quicker doesn't get you there any faster. No you don't "always" catch up at the next set of lights.
- People who don't understand that driving is supposed to be enjoyable.
- Driving slowly in the outside lane of a dual carriageway because they are turning right in 3/4 of a mile.
- People with two legs who park on double yellows when there's a parking space 50 yards away.
- People who won't overtake a lorry/caravan under any circumstances thus making it twice as difficult for you to do so.
- Drivers who reverse out of drives they should really have reversed into..... and expect me to let them.
- Convertables...... in Britain ??
- Harley Davidsons.
- Fog lights on because they look "cool".
- So called "Classic" cars. Mostly c**p cars more like.
- Cycle helmets.
- etc etc

 

[AuburnWarrior]

Drivers who overtake

The Police once did a very unscientific test. They took 2 identical cars and left from the same point to travel a predetermined route of about 40 miles covering all types of road. One car had to stick rigidly to the speed limit and the other - as long as they were safe - could break it.

How much sooner did the speeding car get to the destination?
When I first heard this I thought 5 maybe 6 minutes.

The answer?







97 seconds

Ah, but we're they testing in the Vauxhall Zafira 1.6 Breeze?? If they'd done it in one of them beasts it'd be at least a minute difference........

 

[USER1999]

Not with you on the cycle helmets. They defo save lives, even though you look like a mushroom.

 

[viscount17]

Not with you on the cycle helmets. They defo save lives, even though you look like a mushroom.

well can we have lycra then?

 

[USER1999]

I like to think I look good in lycra.

A mate of mine was knocked off his bike by a car. One broken arm, one busted collar bone. Different side, so he was a bit screwed. He smashed his hat into about 20 pieces. The car driver gets out, and picks up a couple of bits of hat. 'I always thought these were useless' he says. My mate is still alive. The hat is designed to break.

 

[mikevet]

Cyclistd who ride on the pavement, even when there is a designated cycle lane.

Drivers who drive overlapping the cycle lane.

Drivers who come round a right bend towards you overlapping your side of the white line.

Drivers who won't keep left and drive in a bus lane when the sign clearly says it is not in operation at the time and then look at you as if you are some kind of retarded idiot when you do it.

Horse riders who don't have the basic courtesy to thank you for slowing down or passing wide.

Female drivers who sail on by without thanking you for giving way to them and don't actually appear to have noticed that you are there.

People who drive on side (parking0 lights - if conditions need lights then use diped headlights.

People who sit in traffic queues with their foot on the brake, dazzling you with the brake lights (and contravening Road Vehicle Lighting Regulations).

People who ignore Highway Code recommendation and queue across joining side roads so no-one can get in or out of them.


That's enough for now!...