Why do some members seem to want to kick off all the time?

[pendodave]

Yep, fully know what this is about. I left the club where I was a member (as did a number of others), because the atmosphere was so oppressive. In the same vein an earlier poster, I was always expecting to be barked at by some red-faced, portly, irate, stuffy, self important person for infractions of various rules/etiquette etc. I was invariably innocent of any misdeeds - I wasn't ever incorrectly attired, loud, on the wrong hole at the wrong time or hacking up the course.
I am a mild mannered man with a semi decent golf swing and no intention to aggravate anyone, and this totally ruined my pleasure.

I've certainly experienced this vibe at private members' clubs. Why are people like this?

 

[Smiffy]

I've certainly experienced this vibe at private members' clubs. Why are people like this?

Because they have been members there since the early 60's or 70's and think they own the place.
End of

 

[Foxholer]

I've certainly experienced this vibe at private members' clubs. Why are people like this?

Maslow's 3rd level!

 

[DCB]

Och... thought this was about the GM Forum....

Turns out it's just people whinging about joining the wrong club....

 

[Nosevi]

I am a mild mannered man with a semi decent golf swing and no intention to aggravate anyone......

I'm not, I haven't and I couldn't care less if I aggravate someone acting in that manner, in fact I'd go out of my way to do so. I've yet to find any of these types described who, when you square up to them and ask them precisely what they intend to do about it, do anything other than huff, bluster and normally storm off - bullies and cowards the lot of them and they should be told so. It's a learning experience for them if nothing else.

 

[robert.redmile]

Wow! Looks like I touched a nerve! :sbox: Can't say if it's a widespread problem as haven't been playing long, but it's only a minority I'm sure of it. In the main, the guys at my club are first class, but there is definitely a few who seem to thrive on bring miserable and actually look for things to moan about, rather than enjoying the great game.

 

[Skypilot]

Ah .... You've met the guys who think they own the club then!!

You get that type on (some) forums as well

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I'm not, I haven't and I couldn't care less if I aggravate someone acting in that manner, in fact I'd go out of my way to do so. I've yet to find any of these types described who, when you square up to them and ask them precisely what they intend to do about it, do anything other than huff, bluster and normally storm off - bullies and cowards the lot of them and they should be told so. It's a learning experience for them if nothing else.

I'm sorry but I find that attitude a little disappointing, without wanting to promote any sort of online argument. Why would you go out of your way to aggravate when the vast majority are only there for pleasure and relaxation. By escalating a situation, it impacts on the people in your group and the other one, who were nothing to do with the incident. I've found most situations are far better handled with discussion, humour and failing that reporting it via the correct channels and letting those entrusted with this sort of thing get on with it. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Just my opinion

 

[Skypilot]

I'm sorry but I find that attitude a little disappointing, without wanting to promote any sort of online argument. Why would you go out of your way to aggravate when the vast majority are only there for pleasure and relaxation. By escalating a situation, it impacts on the people in your group and the other one, who were nothing to do with the incident. I've found most situations are far better handled with discussion, humour and failing that reporting it via the correct channels and letting those entrusted with this sort of thing get on with it. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Just my opinion

They ought to introduce "Agree" buttons on the forum.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

I'm sorry but I find that attitude a little disappointing, without wanting to promote any sort of online argument. Why would you go out of your way to aggravate when the vast majority are only there for pleasure and relaxation. By escalating a situation, it impacts on the people in your group and the other one, who were nothing to do with the incident. I've found most situations are far better handled with discussion, humour and failing that reporting it via the correct channels and letting those entrusted with this sort of thing get on with it. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Just my opinion

Agree 100%.

The aggressive approach outlined is only likely to aggravate an already fraught situation.

 

[Nosevi]

I'm sorry but I find that attitude a little disappointing, without wanting to promote any sort of online argument. Why would you go out of your way to aggravate when the vast majority are only there for pleasure and relaxation. By escalating a situation, it impacts on the people in your group and the other one, who were nothing to do with the incident. I've found most situations are far better handled with discussion, humour and failing that reporting it via the correct channels and letting those entrusted with this sort of thing get on with it. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Just my opinion

I'm talking when someone is effectively bullying young kids on the course in order to make themselves feel important/big. If that's how they get their pleasure or relaxation then frankly they shouldn't be allowed on a golf course. It's pitiful and I'll tell them so. I have no time for bullies and never have and yes, generally speaking I've found those sorts of people to be utter cowards. I'll let the powers that be deal with it, but it's up to those berating young kids etc to go tell them if they want to.

Now ask any of the people on here who have met me (and several have now) what sort of chap I am. You'll probably be told I'm pretty chilled, mild mannered and generally a pretty nice bloke. But a golf course, and the golfing fraternity in general, would be a far better place without the self important, self opinionated idiots who feel it is their place to 'police' others.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I'm talking when someone is effectively bullying young kids on the course in order to make themselves feel important/big. If that's how they get their pleasure or relaxation then frankly they shouldn't be allowed on a golf course. It's pitiful and I'll tell them so. I have no time for bullies and never have and yes, generally speaking I've found those sorts of people to be utter cowards. I'll let the powers that be deal with it, but it's up to those berating young kids etc to go tell them if they want to.

Now ask any of the people on here who have met me (and several have now) what sort of chap I am. You'll probably be told I'm pretty chilled, mild mannered and generally a pretty nice bloke. But a golf course, and the golfing fraternity in general, would be a far better place without the self important, self opinionated idiots who feel it is their place to 'police' others.

I've no issue with dealing with trumped up members giving juniors a hard time and used an example on here. However I still don't condone the threat of violence to sort it and it didn't come across in your initial post that it was an adult taking on juniors. I'm sure you're as upstanding as you say but sadly most clubs have these wind bags. I've learned that if they don't take some simple advice from fellow members, the best advice is to let the club deal with it. Saves all sorts of tit for tat issues and counter complaints

 

[Nosevi]

Yep, fully know what this is about. I left the club where I was a member (as did a number of others), because the atmosphere was so oppressive. In the same vein an earlier poster, I was always expecting to be barked at by some red-faced, portly, irate, stuffy, self important person for infractions of various rules/etiquette etc. I was invariably innocent of any misdeeds - I wasn't ever incorrectly attired, loud, on the wrong hole at the wrong time or hacking up the course.
I am a mild mannered man with a semi decent golf swing and no intention to aggravate anyone, and this totally ruined my pleasure.

Just to clarify I was reponding to this. Why should people like Mark be forced out of a club by 'some re-faced, portly, irate, stuffy, self important' types because he is made to feel uncomfortable in his own club. Mark said he's a mild mannered chap so he simply left. I think the sort of people who pushed him out rarely get stood up to and that is why they are like they are. I wouldn't tip toe round people like that and try to smooth things over, I'd tell them they were being an arse and to mind their own business. If that upset them I frankly couldn't care less.

 

[Nosevi]

I've no issue with dealing with trumped up members giving juniors a hard time and used an example on here. However I still don't condone the threat of violence to sort it and it didn't come across in your initial post that it was an adult taking on juniors. I'm sure you're as upstanding as you say but sadly most clubs have these wind bags. I've learned that if they don't take some simple advice from fellow members, the best advice is to let the club deal with it. Saves all sorts of tit for tat issues and counter complaints

Adults and junior or adults and adults, either way I still think it's as bad. Sorry, no I wasn't talking violence, when I said 'square up' to them I simply mean stand in front of them and tell them what I think, not back down or cow-tow to them.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

Just to clarify I was reponding to this. Why should people like Mark be forced out of a club by 'some re-faced, portly, irate, stuffy, self important' types because he is made to feel uncomfortable in his own club. Mark said he's a mild mannered chap so he simply left. I think the sort of people who pushed him out rarely get stood up to and that is why they are like they are. I wouldn't tip toe round people like that and try to smooth things over, I'd tell them they were being an arse and to mind their own business. If that upset them I frankly couldn't care less.

But then stepping in as you suggest risks being told yourself to mind your own business.

In the same way that it is not their place to be giving juniors or less experienced members a hard time it is not yours to be confronting them . Far better to report to the authorities what you have witnessed and leave them to take the appropriate action.

 

[Nosevi]

But then stepping in as you suggest risks being told yourself to mind your own business.

In the same way that it is not their place to be giving juniors or less experienced members a hard time it is not yours to be confronting them . Far better to report to the authorities what you have witnessed and leave them to take the appropriate action.

You misunderstand. In the post Hommer refered to I said that if they acted like that to me I wouldn't back down and I wouldn't be even slightly concerned if that bothered them.

Yes, in another similar post I said I once joined a couple of young lads that were being berated by some of those types but I didn't confront them, I utterly ignored them, much to their annoyance and when they then tried to shout at me I suggested they go inform those in authority if they had a problem.

I see nothing wrong with either of these approaches - if some loud mouthed, self important buffoon comes up to me and tries to tell me what I can or can't do they'll get very little change from me. If you choose to deal with them in a different way, all well and good. And no, I won't stand by if the same types decide to rant at any of our juniors, if you think that's wrong and its none of my business then again that's your call but I disagree.

 

[JustOne]

To be honest you just have to look at how some forum members act on here...... it seems that no matter where you go and what you do there is always a jack ass intent on ruining things.

Indeed. However you need to define 'ruining', to me it's the guy insisting on jeans in the clubhouse..... but then I'm probably 'ruining' it for them by not wanting them.

In the internet community you're always going to find someone who argues that a square only has 3 sides - even if it's just to get a rise out of you.

 

[dougajmcdonald]

The type of behaviour described by the OP is fortunately Not visible in all clubs I'm glad to say! I'd be looking to move club if that kind of thing went on. Vote with your feet if possible!

 

[Brechin balata]

I really dislike this attitude of senior players priority, I've seen a few guys enforce it only then to hold up the young players while they hack in and out of the rough while the young guys stripe it down the middle!

Couldntagree more I love to play with the young team. Fearless and flowing swings which is lovely to watch. Then you have the old duffers moaning about the youngsters while their swings are like a toilet chain. Ok sometimes the youngsters might misbehave on the course but in my experience if you just have a quiet word they take it on board and don't do it again!

Edit: no masked swear words. Please read the forum rules.

 

[robert.redmile]

The jeans in the clubhouse is another one. I can think of no where else in the uk where jeans are banned, than in some golf clubhouses! Why?

Some of the gear that the people opposed to jeans west can hardly be described as smart, yet jeans appear to be seen as scruffy!