What would you do????

Liverpoolphil said:
Would suggest doing the opposite of that would be a better ploy

Any use of violence will have the opposite effect of what you want to achieve

Yes we grew up in a time when a clip round the ear ensured we didn't do it again - it's not that time anymore
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gripitripit said:
And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.
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While not wholeheartedly agreeing with your original statement of a thump or 2 i do agree with the above

Tough call for Smiffy tho , dont envy him , maybe if you know a copper thru work or something to turn up in uniform but unofficialy to have a word ..

Best of Luck with it Rob
 
gripitripit said:
And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.
Click to expand...

Sorry but disagree totally

People still showed disrespect in the 60-90's as well

Not being able to hit your child isn't the reason for lack of respect.
 
My now ex-brother-in-law went through something similar with his eldest.

The lad was born in Germany, as BiL was stationed there in the army, before moving to Aldershot and then back to Scotland when his marriage broke down.

After they returned, the boy turned very insular and developed stealing tendencies. He stole from us, his gran, aunt, friends. The police threat calmed things down for a while, and then they would resurface.

My BiL was at his wits' end with him. He wouldn't get a job because he was on track for a criminal record, especially as at his worst he even turned to fire-raising. He went through countless social workers and counsellors, and it all seemed hopeless.

Then he was diagnosed with a form of Aspergers, and with the right treatment and support he improved a great deal. He's still a toe-rag but seems to have screwed the nut a great deal.

Certainly not saying your boy has Apergers or any form of Autism, and I'm no expert. But if all else fails, it might be worthwhile checking out in case his behaviour is linked to some form of mental or behavioural disorder.
 
With regards hitting the lad...it ain't going to happen.
I have two older kids, Harry and Lydia, who are my own.
They have never had a finger laid on them in the past, and they fully respect other people, and other peoples property.
If ever they needed "sorting out" a raised voice let them know that I wasn't happy.
This one is different.
And well done BrizoH71. The lad has been diagnosed with MILD Aspergers.
 
Liverpoolphil said:
If he has one and doesn't fix anything really
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I disagree mate. If he learns that evertime he lifts something he loses something of the same monetary value then i bet he thinks twice.

I always remember when i pulled the head of my sisters cabbage patch doll when i was 15 (out of spite) my dad took my best computer game "mario kart" put it in the bargain pages and made me hand the cash over to my sister. Wouldn't do that again
 
hovis said:
I disagree mate. If he learns that evertime he lifts something he loses something of the same monetary value then i bet he thinks twice.

I always remember when i pulled the head of my sisters cabbage patch doll when i was 15 (out of spite) my dad took my best computer game "mario kart" put it in the bargain pages and made me hand the cash over to my sister. Wouldn't do that again
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And what if he has sold all his stuff already ?

You need to get down to the crux and heart of the issue and deal with it from there. Look at the root issues as opposed to trying quick fixes but deep down they don't fix anything.
 
He definitely has got a ps3 and an x-box in his bedroom.....they are both mine, which I had disconnected and put in our bedroom as we don't use them anymore. He saw fit to go in and connect them up in his room.
He had a new (to him) iPhone that he said he had purchased from a mate for £15.00 on the proceeds of the sale of the other items. I smashed that to bits.
 
gripitripit said:
If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.
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And could well be understood, if not excused, when he sticks a knife into you before you do the same in a subsequent event!

As posted by others, the time when a 'clip round the ear' achieves the desired result has gone! Behaviour management is a game of chess - and the kids always play the White pieces!

@Smiffy. I think it would have been better if, rather than smashing that iPhone, had confiscated it and held it as an incentive to change behaviour - but you would have had to make it known that it was in a secure place that he couldn't get to, otherwise the incentive/challenge is for him to retrieve it (so the exercise backfires!).

Finding the right 'positive incentive trigger' is quite possibly worth the effort.

And plenty of hugs has been known to help too!
 
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I think children should feel loved and cared for by their parents but i think they should have an element of fear of parents too! I remember being in asda with my dad when i was 22. There was a 5 year old on the fooor having one almighty tantrum. I asked my dad if i had ever done that and he said " no son, you wasn't allowed "
 
Foxholer said:
@Smiffy. I think it would have been better if, rather than smashing that iPhone, had confiscated it and held it as an incentive to change behaviour
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How I wish I had a £ for every time I had done that in the past Foxholer.
We have stopped him playing on his PC, taken his consoles and other things away from him before and given them back to him once his behaviour has settled down again. It works for a while, but he knows he is going to get them back again if he tows the line so has lost it's effectiveness.
I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson. His Mums iPad has gone forever, so has the Wii console and games thanks to his actions. Now lets see how he feels when something he has been out and "purchased" himself, albeit with stolen money, has gone the same way. I'm fed up with messing around to be honest.
It broke my heart to see my wife so upset on Sunday. She was distraught. It was as much as I could do to hold off pogging him one, he's big enough and ugly enough to take a swipe at. But I didn't.
 
Smiffy said:
How I wish I had a £ for every time I had done that in the past Foxholer.
We have stopped him playing on his PC, taken his consoles and other things away from him before and given them back to him once his behaviour has settled down again. It works for a while, but he knows he is going to get them back again if he tows the line so has lost it's effectiveness.
I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson....
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Fair enough. It never got to that stage with 'ours'. So perhaps your new/uprated approach may have an effect.
 
Smiffy said:
I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson. His Mums iPad has gone forever, so has the Wii console and games thanks to his actions. Now lets see how he feels when something he has been out and "purchased" himself, albeit with stolen money, has gone the same way. I'm fed up with messing around to be honest.
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I am a bit of a sadistic git Rob. When his birthday comes round I would buy him F@@@ all and get your misses an Ipad. When he looks at you wondering where his present is, tell him that you can't afford to be buying him presents as well as replacing the items that he stole to sell.

So let him know that all of actions will have consequences and using what money would be spent on him is going to be used to replace things he has stolen, might make him think next time. Also inform him that this is his last chance, anymore and the Police will be involved. Really lay it to him so he gets the picture it is not another idle threat, this time you will go through with it.
 
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