What is the daftest sign / notice you've ever seen at a golf club?

[milesthenutcracker]

Mine: 'No women in the Spike Bar after 6pm'. It was a club in Yorkshire (I cannot remember the name) in the early 90s.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Keep off the grass

 

[garyinderry]

 

[milesthenutcracker]

brilliant drive4show - do you remember the golf course?

 

[milesthenutcracker]

this golf course is ALIVE!

 

[USER1999]

We have a 'beware of flying golf balls' sign.

Wow, statement of the obvious.

 

[JezzE]

'Please do not ring this bell' - won't say where...

 

[JezzE]

Or this one in France... as if any of us have that much control over it...

 

[cookelad]

We have a 'beware of flying golf balls' sign.

Wow, statement of the obvious.

We had similar at my old place, two former captains went very H&S and put signage up everywhere things like "beware of golf balls from the right" "Please shout fore if your ball is heading towards other golfers" and other pointers that should be ridiculously obvious to anyone with half a brain!

 

[BoadieBroadus]

lots of places have "please avoid slow play" - but i've never actually seen such a sign make any difference

 

[moogie]

Funniest sign ever seen


Spraying Greens

PLEASE Don't Lick Your Balls




HONEST.......

 

[cookelad]

Funniest sign ever seen


Spraying Greens

PLEASE Don't Lick Your Balls




HONEST.......

Normally gets met with the response "If I could do that, do you think I'd be here!"

 

[ManinBlack]

"Members are requested not to clean their balls in the washbasins"

 

[jimbob.someroo]

The course I grew up playing at in Blackpool had a sign which reminded/informed male members who had taken to relieving themselves in the trees by the 9th tee that they were in full view of both the road which ran parallel and several house. It politely asked these men to wait until they had finished the 9th to nip in to the loo if so required.

 

[TheJezster]

When I grew up, we had a plaque in one of the bathrooms from an old golf club. It stated the following:

GENTLEMEN PLAYERS ARE REQUESTED TO ONLY WASH THEIR BALLS IN THE SINKS PROVIDED AND NOT ELSEWHERE J. THOMAS Honorary Secretary Newport Golf and Country Club 30 TH JUNE 1862.

I always found this amusing.

 

[Jay1]

See this one at pretty much every course I play.

"Trolleys This Way ----------->"

Completely pointless as it's written in gobbledygook and no sod actually knows what it means.

 

[North Mimms]

What do the members of Palatka GC have against Justin Beiber?
(apart from the fact he's an eejit)

 

[Hobbit]

One at Carnoustie, "suggestion box." The box was in the middle of a large pond!!

 

[London mike 61]

I went into one cloakroom ( I can't remember where ) and the sign read;

Our aim is to keep these toilets clean, your aim helps.

I thought they were taking the p...

 

[Doon frae Troon]

I remember a driving range operated by the English Sports Council [Bisham Abbey?] where a sign said

Will hookers please use the right hand side of the range.

This was in the 1970's when the word hookers generally had one meaning.