Too considerate

[Jensen]

This may seem strange, but I'm far too considerate on the golf course to the detriment of my own game. Nothing to do with slow play, but at times I am over concerned about people behind.
Yesterday played in a fourball with no one in front, we were caught by a threeball on the tenth green with them waiting to play their approach shots. The players behind could hit a ball and seemed decent. I teed off last on the 11th and arsed up my tee shot aware of the 3 behind. Whilst looking for my ball (which ended up in a hole next to a tree) I waived the group behind to tee off feeling agitated.
First guy tees off and makes an arse of it. I knock my ball forward after they have teed off. As I approach my ball which is now only 200 yards from the tee to play my third, the group behind waived us forward to continue ahead of them. I felt rushed as playing their second shot was a further threeball behind going down the 10th, so now we have two three balls behind. I was so concerned with holding people up that I lost it and completely rushed the back nine for a total score of 9, I'd scored 19 points on the front nine including a blob.
This is a major problem for me as it completely ruins my game. I'm not slow always ready to play, trolley left in the right place, scorecard marked appropriately and I walk briskly between shots. I need to mentally toughen up on the golf course and be more selfish, put myself first and think "stuff others, as no one cares about me on the course"
Even when playing and players in our group either lose a ball or have to play a provisional I can feel the anxiety rise as it will take further time, resulting in others catching us up.
When I've played with slow players and we've been caught, it's me who speeds up to the detriment of my game in an attempt to make up for their slow play. In addition when players are behind and i make an arse of a shot I then tend to rush the next to make up for it.
I'm just too sensitive to the needs of others.
However when I get held up I just accept it and don't curse those in front.
This doesn't always happen although I always seem to be on edge of others behind.
Does anyone else experience this and if so how have you adapted. Does anybody know how I can change my thinking/behViour, have any books that I could read.
Really wish I wasn't so sensitive because it's ruined my game on a number of occasions

 

[Jensen]

Incidentally the 11th hole is a 555 yard par 5

 

[Bigfoot]

I always feel a bit more pressure when a group gets close behind mine. I always prefer to let them through. It is obvious to do this if they are a smaller group but not if the same.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I'm not as extreme but I do get anxious if I see people waiting behind my group. I'm also the one who rushes to make up for a slow player, also to my own detriment. I am getting better at blocking things out but I don't find it natural to do so. To help i have to go into myself for a few holes, not chat and just concentrate on my own game quite seriously. After a few holes like that i can start to go back to normal a little. I don't find it comfortable to do this and at the end of the day I play for fun.

I can't help too much but I posted to let you are not on your own and we are not the only two who feel this way.

 

[Boabski]

It’s good to be considerate on a golf course , etticate falls really short these days , try not let people pmsyinv through effect your game , it is hard but try and concentrate on your own game

 

[Curls]

What would happen if you played in a two ball? Do you think playing through others you’d have a similar issue? If so then it’s not necessarily pressure from following groups. And I don’t think taking the “stuff everyone” route is the way forward either, we’ve enough of those on the course already. You need to find a mental cue that alerts you to the feeling of anxiety or whatever it is. Once you start noticing what it is and calling it by a name you can manage it.

Example. You notice, say “pressure” to yourself, and that triggers you to take a breath and concentrate a little harder. Also I posted something about being in the here and now a while ago and have noticed a big improvement since I realised that while I was over the ball, my mind was standing with the group behind watching on. Not good. But now I know I’m doing it I stop myself and get my mind back over the ball. Makes all the difference. Try it!

 

[duncan mackie]

I am exactly the same; applies everywhere, not just on the golf course.
It's a reflection of my general see everything, hear everything life - I would love to be able to apply filters at will, but haven't found a way yet.
Driving is tiring (I'm watching every vehicle in view in front behind or even parked...) and for golf; it's a huge weakness that costs me all the time.
Consideration is only the next level element because once you are aware of what's happening around you you have a choice!
You certainly aren't alone.

 

[Wabinez]

The joys of the slow play argument.

I also get frustrated when playing with someone slow and then rush my own play. If people are semi ready, but methodical, then fine...it’s those in the group who aren’t ready or have no concept of what’s going on.

Filter it out, and play your own game

 

[Jamesbrown]

Your not alone, I’m like this on the golf course, the roads and work. Won’t hold anybody up.

 

[user104]

Too considerate

More like good manners v bad manners, yesterday was the final straw for me, my kits all sold, i just got some stuff so i can go and have some fresh air and a walk round the pitch and putt. There you dont get those `special people` you all know what/who i mean

 

[Jensen]

Too considerate

More like good manners v bad manners, yesterday was the final straw for me, my kits all sold, i just got some stuff so i can go and have some fresh air and a walk round the pitch and putt. There you dont get those `special people` you all know what/who i mean

Not really, because it's at the detriment to my game.
It's beyond a joke, it's far too the other end of the spectrum

 

[GOLFER1994]

Completely understand where you are coming from! I'm 24 but play with a lot of old boys that are 70+ and retired. They are really not fussed about how long it takes them and how they are going. If a group are right up our backs I quite often feel the pressure and will just step up and hit a shot, often to my detriment ! However, i have learnt to deal with it a lot better and play my own game. If I think its getting silly i just ask the lads to let them up, sometimes i get told no but at least its not my fault then

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Sounds to me like the OP is too worried about hat is going on around him and not looking after his own game. In my experience, it is fairly obvious when you as a group are losing ground and it's time to get a spurt on and when its time to let people through. If I was the OP I'd be a tad more selfish and worry about my own game first and put the onus on others to help govern when its time to call a group through

 

[PJ87]

If someone appears behind us I will normally make sure I’ll speed up what I can with ready golf.. get myself out the way whilst the others do what they need

Every little helps

 

[Slab]

I used to let it get to me if our group was caught but the more I played I tried to deliberately change things so that I try to spot the issues/causes earlier and deal with them before we slow too much/get caught
But I’m sure we’ve all been caught at some point and will be again, all it takes is a player in the group that searches for his ball like he only brought 2 with him and that could easily let following groups rapidly close (pre new rules)

I also noticed that the better players around me who when caught still wouldn’t rush their shots/PSR in order to make time up, sure they’d speed up in other areas but not when they’re over the ball, that stayed consistent and surprise surprise they screwed up less

To the OP I don’t know if this is something you’ll learn from books etc or if you just need to think things through a bit more. Maybe view the round more holistically rather than just the hole/shot you are playing
i.e. with 3-ball groups behind your 4-ball is it likely you weren’t gonna get caught? No, you might stay ahead but most of the time it’s the opposite really, all things being equal you are going to get caught, so why make a drama out of it and start rushing when it happens, you’ve got 8 more holes to play so just deal with it for what it is and let them through when it’s appropriate rather than trying to stay ahead by speeding to uncomfortable levels

When you drive on the roads if you applied the same thought process to being caught up as you currently do on the golf course you’d end up in a ditch every time you left the house And because you don't end up in a ditch it means mentally you already know how to deal with the situation... so just do that

 

[Orikoru]

I don't think the issue is being 'too considerate' - you obviously when and when not to let people through, which is fine. Your issue is more one of mental toughness and being able to focus when you have an audience. I have a mate with the same issue, although he's off 31 so I think his is born out of fear of hitting a duff in front of strangers, which of course then happens, probably due to negative visualisation as much as anything.

I don't what the answer is, but if you're off 14 then you're obviously a half-decent player, and it's just about having the confidence to get on and hit your shot, blocking out the fact that people are watching or waiting on you. Just try and remember that rushing doesn't help I guess, because taking your time and hitting one good shot is always quicker than trying to hurry up and consequently having to hit two shots instead.

 

[Scozzy]

Maybe throw in a little white lie on the first tee to keep everyone in the group mindful of time?? along the lines of "We'll need to get cracking today lads, we've got guests for dinner and I'm responsible for pickups on the way home" or some such...so if you're on good pace you can relax at least knowing you are not holding people up and if you do have a group behind determined to get around in 2 1/2 hrs then wave them through so you can keep them honest!! Sounds like you're etiquette is fine now to remember it's supposed to be fun too! Good luck

 

[Bunkermagnet]

I have found that as a four ball (or any number come to that) it is easy to meander a little if you have a clear field in front of you. At times like that, it doesnt hurt to just keep and eye on whats behind you a little and just moderate or increase the pace a little. There is no point in rushing when your on the ball, its the in between shots that you can make up the pace

 

[Birdie2]

This may seem strange, but I'm far too considerate on the golf course to the detriment of my own game. Nothing to do with slow play, but at times I am over concerned about people behind.
Yesterday played in a fourball with no one in front, we were caught by a threeball on the tenth green with them waiting to play their approach shots. The players behind could hit a ball and seemed decent. I teed off last on the 11th and arsed up my tee shot aware of the 3 behind. Whilst looking for my ball (which ended up in a hole next to a tree) I waived the group behind to tee off feeling agitated.
First guy tees off and makes an arse of it. I knock my ball forward after they have teed off. As I approach my ball which is now only 200 yards from the tee to play my third, the group behind waived us forward to continue ahead of them. I felt rushed as playing their second shot was a further threeball behind going down the 10th, so now we have two three balls behind. I was so concerned with holding people up that I lost it and completely rushed the back nine for a total score of 9, I'd scored 19 points on the front nine including a blob.
This is a major problem for me as it completely ruins my game. I'm not slow always ready to play, trolley left in the right place, scorecard marked appropriately and I walk briskly between shots. I need to mentally toughen up on the golf course and be more selfish, put myself first and think "stuff others, as no one cares about me on the course"
Even when playing and players in our group either lose a ball or have to play a provisional I can feel the anxiety rise as it will take further time, resulting in others catching us up.
When I've played with slow players and we've been caught, it's me who speeds up to the detriment of my game in an attempt to make up for their slow play. In addition when players are behind and i make an arse of a shot I then tend to rush the next to make up for it.
I'm just too sensitive to the needs of others.
However when I get held up I just accept it and don't curse those in front.
This doesn't always happen although I always seem to be on edge of others behind.
Does anyone else experience this and if so how have you adapted. Does anybody know how I can change my thinking/behViour, have any books that I could read.
Really wish I wasn't so sensitive because it's ruined my game on a number of occasions

What would you do if you didn't care?

 

[PJ87]

Wish more people were like you jenson

We were behind a 4 ball on Monday , they cleared the green on a par 4, (the first) we hit out tees, finished the hole and they were just walking off the 2nd tee! This kept happening almost every hole (we got nearer and nearer them) they kept just walking off just as we got to the tee.. so couldn’t get out “do you mind if we play through chaps” on the 6th I said to my mate let’s power this hole I got an idea.. we managed to catch them after only 3 out of the 4 had played and they quickly ushered us through

How they took 7 holes to think hold on these guys are quicker than us is beyond me

A nice gap in play had developed in front of them aswell. We proceeded to not catch the group in front of them until the 18th