The deal breaker(s) when joining a new club?

[IanM]

I think it was Fred Couples who said, "I don't like to answer the phone in case someone is there!"

No two people are the same!

 

[Deleted member 23270]

No, because you don't get it. Some people are not wired that way, those of us that are, understand that the noisy ones love the noise, but the noisy ones just cannot fathom that others do not in any way ever want that.

How do you cope in competitions when you are drawn with people you don't know?

 

[Banchory Buddha]

Ive never associated myself as being an introvert, so I may do some research as a lot of what @Banchory Buddha is saying is speaking volumes to me.
Sorry for pulling the thread off track

It was lockdown did it for me. I found peace. And with time on my hands like everyone, I strayed into new areas of knowledge, and found far from being "the weirdo" (my ex-wife would always sneer I was 'anti-social' and killed my self-esteem), I was perfectly normal, but being as we are, we don't speak up and get drowned out by the noisy.

I recenetly had a long tete a tete with my boss asking for more work from home days, one of his comments "it's good to come in to meet the rest of the team", no boss, no it isn't, I actually said "lockdown was the best thing that ever happened". They just don't get it, again as was seen on just this thread, those not like this cannot fathom how people can be happy with solitude.

 

[Banchory Buddha]

How do you cope in competitions when you are drawn with people you don't know?

Answered above.

 

[Backache]

Again, no your type wouldn't. But some of us do, we only connect with rare people, the rest are just irritants. It's not a criticism of them or you, it's what we are. Join an introverts page or social anxiety page on facebook as a suggestion, don't comment, just observe, your eyes will be opened

I'm not sure what my type is but one thing I was not doing was criticising people who wish to play alone or who don't enjoy the company of their fellow golfers . I just think its a little unfortunate that they don't because for me it is a pleasure. I could say the same thing about it being unfortunate if someone didn't enjoy the smell of newly cut grass on the course. I like it but appreciate others do not.

On the point of extroversion and introversion I guess its on a scale. The idea of meeting a load of people that I don't know at a party is one that I would not enjoy . Having a conversation one to one or one to two with fellow golfers playing golf is something I usually enjoy.

 

[Banchory Buddha]

I'm not sure what my type is but one thing I was not doing was criticising people who wish to play alone or who don't enjoy the company of their fellow golfers . I just think its a little unfortunate that they don't because for me it is a pleasure. I could say the same thing about it being unfortunate if someone didn't enjoy the smell of newly cut grass on the course. I like it but appreciate others do not.

On the point of extroversion and introversion I guess its on a scale. The idea of meeting a load of people that I don't know at a party is one that I would not enjoy . Having a conversation one to one or one to two with fellow golfers playing golf is something I usually enjoy.

Yes it's a sliding scale.

 

[Oddsocks]

Absolutely, and thank you for asking.

I'd start though by saying I agree with just about everything you've said, as may be apparent above, I've no interest in "meeting new people" either, and passing small talk that I have utterly no interest in just for the sake of politeness. It's what society expects, but I've already said above that doesn't mean it's right because those that expect it are those that shout loudest as it suits them. The forum meet for example, that is my idea of stress & hell, a social day where I know not a soul, no, thank, you.

Why would you not want to meet any of the guys who you engage in regular debates and discussions with? Is it not to discuss opinions etc, open people to your views as well as discussing theirs and so on.

 

[Banchory Buddha]

Why would you not want to meet any of the guys who you engage in regular debates and discussions with? Is it not to discuss opinions etc, open people to your views as well as discussing theirs and so on.

You just keep closing your ears and your mind mate

 

[Oddsocks]

You just keep closing your ears and your mind mate

Is listening to others and their views closing your mind or actually opening it to potentially new topics and opinions?

 

[Albo]

Is listening to others and their views closing your mind or actually opening it to potentially new topics and opinions?

There is a difference between listening and hearing

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I am one of those odds fellows who will go into the clubhouse and, through choice, sit by himself unless, having played or about to play, my playing companions are already there. I have loads of acquaintances at my club, but friends I’d always look to sit with and not feel awkward about joining (my awkward, not their issue)…not so very many.

 

[Banchory Buddha]

Is listening to others and their views closing your mind or actually opening it to potentially new topics and opinions?

You're just not getting this at all are you? It's not about views, these can be easily exchanged here for example and you'll often find those more on the introvert scale far more involved where person to person involvement isn't needed, we have time to think, we don't have to make small talk, it's about social interaction **in person** being an issue.

 

[Banchory Buddha]

I am one of those odds fellows who will go into the clubhouse and, through choice, sit by himself unless, having played or about to play, my playing companions are already there. I have loads of acquaintances at my club, but friends I’d always look to sit with and not feel awkward about joining (my awkward, not their issue)…not so very many.

Yup this. Having been at my new (away) club a year now (my home club doesn't have a clubhouse) I'm the same as you, I'll sit on my own or stand at the bar quite happily, watch the sport etc. There's one or two now I know quite well but I wouldn't make a bee line to any of their tables unless they waved me over, I'd just give them a wave as I come in and I'm happy with that

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Yup this. Having been at my new (away) club a year now (my home club doesn't have a clubhouse) I'm the same as you, I'll sit on my own or stand at the bar quite happily, watch the sport etc. There's one or two now I know quite well but I wouldn't make a bee line to any of their tables unless they waved me over, I'd just give them a wave as I come in and I'm happy with that

I also don’t ‘get’ a lot of the stuff the guys at my club talk about; the views of many of them about the sort of stuff we can’t talk about on here; and the jokes they tell. Yes I could sit with them; accept or ignore much of what is said…but I am afraid I am not good at keeping my mouth shut on certain topics…?

They also seem to have an almost obsessive need to talk about English football…a subject that I have zero interest in…whilst ignoring the fascinating exploits of the mighty Perth Saints ?

 

[Backache]

ignoring the fascinating exploits of the mighty Perth Saints ?

Well fancy that.

 

[WGCRider]

Yup this. Having been at my new (away) club a year now (my home club doesn't have a clubhouse) I'm the same as you, I'll sit on my own or stand at the bar quite happily, watch the sport etc. There's one or two now I know quite well but I wouldn't make a bee line to any of their tables unless they waved me over, I'd just give them a wave as I come in and I'm happy with that

Hey!! stop telling them. Next thing you know everyone will know about the joy of going to eat out by yourself or the absolute golden ticket - going to the cinema by yourself!!

 

[Banchory Buddha]

I also don’t ‘get’ a lot of the stuff the guys at my club talk about; the views of many of them about the sort of stuff we can’t talk about on here; and the jokes they tell. Yes I could sit with them; accept or ignore much of what is said…but I am afraid I am not good at keeping my mouth shut on certain topics…?

They also seem to have an almost obsessive need to talk about English football…a subject that I have zero interest in…whilst ignoring the fascinating exploits of the mighty Perth Saints ?

I think you're my long lost twin

I've done really well at keeping my mouth shut on politics so far, but it's been hard. If I was sitting in the actual group I'd not have been able to

 

[IanM]

Lummy. I had to Google "Perth Saints!" ?

 

[simo71]

Being able to actually get into a club would be a bonus! Based in Southport and majority of decent clubs in the area are completely closed unless you know anyone and even then, you could be waiting many years. I'd love to join one of the links courses in the area but the chances are slim!

 

[IanM]

Being able to actually get into a club would be a bonus! Based in Southport and majority of decent clubs in the area are completely closed unless you know anyone and even then, you could be waiting many years. I'd love to join one of the links courses in the area but the chances are slim!

Live in Southport and can't get in a Club?

That's mental cruelty. Close the thread now, nothing comes close.