The deal breaker(s) when joining a new club?

D

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I love playing on my own and fully get how people find it a pleasure getting out on their own and enjoying solitude. I do think it's a bit of a shame though to not enjoy the fellowship of fellow golfers as well. There is the odd bore but by and large I don't find conversation forced and awkward .
Whatever, we all enjoy golf our own way and long may that continue.
Maybe forced is not the right word, but it’s always the same sort of “so how long have you been a member / playing golf for” “what handicap are you at the moment?” “Where were you before here?” “What do you do for work?”
It’s all nicey nicey and I find it dull as I’m politely asking the right questions and have absolutely no real interest in the answers
 

Backache

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Maybe forced is not the right word, but it’s always the same sort of “so how long have you been a member / playing golf for” “what handicap are you at the moment?” “Where were you before here?” “What do you do for work?”
It’s all nicey nicey and I find it dull as I’m politely asking the right questions and have absolutely no real interest in the answers
I guess they are polite openers but I have had a lot of interesting conversations with peole of differnet ages and diverse backgrounds following these openers, not always but I've very rarely found the resulting conversation totally uninteresting.I agree if what you want is solitude then competitions are not the best place for it. I just find solitude and company both have places for me on the golf course.
 

Oddsocks

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In all honesty I have no interest in them and seldom are they at times when I can commit to them.
no interest as I play golf to get away from the pressure of life, I have no interest winning shop credit, rounds tend to be stupidly slow during comps, I don’t want to play with strangers for a few hours I’d much rather put my earbuds in and listen to music or an audio book than pass chit chat with someone I have no interest in.
As for when comps are played, usually at my course on a Weds which after work I have to take kids to football training and a Sat morning I take kids to school football matches. The course tends to be quiet onSat and Sun afternoon and most evenings (other than weds) after work. I can play happily for 2 hours and get round 18 and still commit time to my family. Playing comp rounds tends to be at least double that.
On a personal level I get nothing from entering comps, I entered 1 this year, not sure where I came but shot 1 under handicap. I got no sense of achievement, I spent the best part of 4 hours with a guy, and as nice as he was, my life was no better for the experience.
Each to their own in my opinion, many people play comps so they must get something out of it.
Can I turn the question on it’s head and ask “Why do you play comps?”

To be fair it sounds like you’re getting what you want from the sport as well as balancing family life. Shows how this sport can appeal to a vast audience.
 

SwingsitlikeHogan

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In all honesty I have no interest in them and seldom are they at times when I can commit to them.
no interest as I play golf to get away from the pressure of life, I have no interest winning shop credit, rounds tend to be stupidly slow during comps, I don’t want to play with strangers for a few hours I’d much rather put my earbuds in and listen to music or an audio book than pass chit chat with someone I have no interest in.
As for when comps are played, usually at my course on a Weds which after work I have to take kids to football training and a Sat morning I take kids to school football matches. The course tends to be quiet onSat and Sun afternoon and most evenings (other than weds) after work. I can play happily for 2 hours and get round 18 and still commit time to my family. Playing comp rounds tends to be at least double that.
On a personal level I get nothing from entering comps, I entered 1 this year, not sure where I came but shot 1 under handicap. I got no sense of achievement, I spent the best part of 4 hours with a guy, and as nice as he was, my life was no better for the experience.
Each to their own in my opinion, many people play comps so they must get something out of it.
Can I turn the question on it’s head and ask “Why do you play comps?”
I get much of what you say…but on this, not a disagreement - as how you feel is how you feel, however my experience tells me (having joined a club of which I knew not a single member)

I think the way around it is to play competitions or in rollups…that way I got to know, maybe not well but at least on nodding terms, the majority of those I might play with in a competition and so ’playing with strangers’ became in time - not that long either - a thing of the past.
 
D

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I get much of what you say…but on this, not a disagreement - as how you feel is how you feel, however my experience tells me (having joined a club of which I knew not a single member)

I think the way around it is to play competitions or in rollups…that way you’ll get to know, maybe not well but at least on nodding terms, the majority of those you might play with in a competition and so ’playing with strangers’ will in time - not that long either - will become a thing of the past.
You are absolutely right.
However, a couple of things, 1st I don’t want to play with other people happy on my own and enjoy it, have no wish to change it. I am actually a member of 3 courses at the moment (though am leaving one at the end of the year), one of the other two courses I don’t know anyone and am quite happy to keep it that way. I have never been in the bar, changing rooms and used the pro shop only to check in for my round, buy a bottle of juice before playing etc. I don’t know the name of a single other person at the club.
2nd, I don’t like playing in comps and quite happily enjoy playing golf for the fun of it.
At the other course, I know 3 other people I play with semi regularly and a guy from work I play with sporadically. And that works just fine for me too.
 

Red devil

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I love playing on my own and fully get how people find it a pleasure getting out on their own and enjoying solitude. I do think it's a bit of a shame though to not enjoy the fellowship of fellow golfers as well. There is the odd bore but by and large I don't find conversation forced and awkward .
Whatever, we all enjoy golf our own way and long may that continue.
I hope I don't come over as a misery guts because I'm most certainly not. And I know there are a lot of interesting people to meet and I love that too. Just not over a game of golf.
 

LincolnShep

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Most people are ignoring the obvious one, it needs to be within a reasonable distance of where you live. 'Reasonable distance' will alter from person to person. Maybe that part is taken for granted so, beyond that, I want a large number of competitions and for most of them to be drawn. The main benefit of a club (for me) is just saying "Yes, I'll play" and having someone else then arrange tee times and playing partners. So I don't have to make any effort!
 
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LincolnShep

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I’m not saying being an introvert is wrong/weird/strange and I can get why the posted likes time with his lad, but surely being stuck on your own for 2.5-3.5hours would be quite difficult. Not doubt other things go on in most peoples lives and with no additional company, surely the brain goes into overdrive on these such as work, family life, odd jobs HID is moaning about that you still haven’t done… the list is endless.

Just because it appears to be difficult for you, doesn't mean it's the case for everyone. It certainly isn't for me. I don't often play golf on my own but I'll read, listen to music, go for a walk, watch a film, whatever...
 

Red devil

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Most people are ignoring the obvious one, it needs to be within a reasonable distance of where you live. 'Reasonable distance' will alter from person to person. Maybe that part is taken for granted so, beyond that, I want a large number of competitions and for most of them to be drawn. The main benefit of a club (for me) is just saying "Yes, I'll play" and having someone else then arrange tee times and playing partners. I don't have to make any effort!
I've got loads round by me. Just the good ones are impossible to get into
 

Blue in Munich

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I guess they are polite openers but I have had a lot of interesting conversations with peole of differnet ages and diverse backgrounds following these openers, not always but I've very rarely found the resulting conversation totally uninteresting.I agree if what you want is solitude then competitions are not the best place for it. I just find solitude and company both have places for me on the golf course.

Found myself sitting next to a bloke whose company make the stents that the NHS had probably just used to save my life once (his company provided about 75% of them apparently); now that was an interesting conversation. :)
 

Crazyface

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I'll be looking very closely through the winter months for a new place.

1. Price
2. Greens
3. Can I get a game when I want.

Other than that, currently I'm a bit fed up so don't give a hoot about anything else.
 

Banchory Buddha

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In all honesty I have no interest in them and seldom are they at times when I can commit to them.
no interest as I play golf to get away from the pressure of life, I have no interest winning shop credit, rounds tend to be stupidly slow during comps, I don’t want to play with strangers for a few hours I’d much rather put my earbuds in and listen to music or an audio book than pass chit chat with someone I have no interest in.
As for when comps are played, usually at my course on a Weds which after work I have to take kids to football training and a Sat morning I take kids to school football matches. The course tends to be quiet onSat and Sun afternoon and most evenings (other than weds) after work. I can play happily for 2 hours and get round 18 and still commit time to my family. Playing comp rounds tends to be at least double that.
On a personal level I get nothing from entering comps, I entered 1 this year, not sure where I came but shot 1 under handicap. I got no sense of achievement, I spent the best part of 4 hours with a guy, and as nice as he was, my life was no better for the experience.
Each to their own in my opinion, many people play comps so they must get something out of it.
Can I turn the question on it’s head and ask “Why do you play comps?
Absolutely, and thank you for asking. :cool:

I'd start though by saying I agree with just about everything you've said, as may be apparent above, I've no interest in "meeting new people" either, and passing small talk that I have utterly no interest in just for the sake of politeness. It's what society expects, but I've already said above that doesn't mean it's right because those that expect it are those that shout loudest as it suits them. The forum meet for example, that is my idea of stress & hell, a social day where I know not a soul, no, thank, you.

So why do I play comps, and indeed many Opens where I am guaranteed to play with strangers? Simple, I love competing, at anything, since as young as I can remember, if golf was purely social or knocking a white ball around a field, I'd not be playing, but from the first time on holiday where I rocked up to a pitch and putt as a 10 year old I've been hooked, always trying to beat my best score, or win the monthly medal. Solo golf is practice, you have to practice or you've no chance, so I practice a lot, either with solo golf, or on the range, chipping green etc. Everything is built towards playing competitively, it gives me a buzz. And that's it.
 

Banchory Buddha

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I love playing on my own and fully get how people find it a pleasure getting out on their own and enjoying solitude. I do think it's a bit of a shame though to not enjoy the fellowship of fellow golfers as well. There is the odd bore but by and large I don't find conversation forced and awkward .
Whatever, we all enjoy golf our own way and long may that continue.
No, because you don't get it. Some people are not wired that way, those of us that are, understand that the noisy ones love the noise, but the noisy ones just cannot fathom that others do not in any way ever want that.
 

Banchory Buddha

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I guess they are polite openers but I have had a lot of interesting conversations with peole of differnet ages and diverse backgrounds following these openers, not always but I've very rarely found the resulting conversation totally uninteresting.I agree if what you want is solitude then competitions are not the best place for it. I just find solitude and company both have places for me on the golf course.
Again, no your type wouldn't. But some of us do, we only connect with rare people, the rest are just irritants. It's not a criticism of them or you, it's what we are. Join an introverts page or social anxiety page on facebook as a suggestion, don't comment, just observe, your eyes will be opened
 

Banchory Buddha

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Just because it appears to be difficult for you, doesn't mean it's the case for everyone. It certainly isn't for me. I don't often play golf on my own but I'll read, listen to music, go for a walk, watch a film, whatever...
His resulting tantrum shows that he hasn't a clue how others function, but well said
 
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Banchory Buddha

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Most people are ignoring the obvious one, it needs to be within a reasonable distance of where you live. 'Reasonable distance' will alter from person to person. Maybe that part is taken for granted so, beyond that, I want a large number of competitions and for most of them to be drawn. The main benefit of a club (for me) is just saying "Yes, I'll play" and having someone else then arrange tee times and playing partners. So I don't have to make any effort!
You're correct, and I can't believe I missed that out as my no.1. In fact it's even the opposite, there has to be a very good reason to *not* be a member of your local club, and the closer that club is, the bigger that reason has to be.

Your local club means folks you know, it means walking for a beer, or at worst a cheap taxi if you stay for a few scoops. It means less time wasted travelling to the course, and of course in these times of soaring fuel prices, less expense too. There's certainly courses round here I'd not join, but only a very small number if it was my local
 
D

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Again, no your type wouldn't. But some of us do, we only connect with rare people, the rest are just irritants. It's not a criticism of them or you, it's what we are. Join an introverts page or social anxiety page on facebook as a suggestion, don't comment, just observe, your eyes will be opened
This is so well said. Though it may sound harsh, it really isn’t. I completely get the statement that “I only connect with rare people, the rest are just irritants “. It’s very true and I would imagine difficult for some people to understand. I often question myself as society does not look favourably on my type as a whole. We’re just different.
I have a very very small number of people I class as friends, I am friends with 1 person I went to school with and none that I went to college with. I have no issues in cutting ties with people in a social sense. I had many friends at school and college but those people are no longer in my life and not missed in any way shape or form, there was nothing wrong with them, lovely people, but keeping in touch with the past is much the same as talking to strangers on a golf course, it’s doesn’t fit my wants.
Ive never associated myself as being an introvert, so I may do some research as a lot of what @Banchory Buddha is saying is speaking volumes to me.
Sorry for pulling the thread off track
 
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