Smacking

[Lord Tyrion]

Nor was I!

It was those 15-16yr olds (and maybe a year or so younger) that I was referring to/she dealt with (as teacher and DH at a 'difficult' 2ndry school) too.

Do you have a solution for those 'beyond redemption' or are you simply going to cast them on the scrap-heap?

Claiming a solution would be too strong. There are certainly some who are not suited to school and the lessons there. They may be better suited to a college or a more practical style of education. My son is now at university, my daughter doing her A levels this year. I've seen first hand friends of theirs who struggled at GCSE because the subjects held no interest or they simply struggled. None really kicked off but some started to get into some trouble as they were bored. Having to stay in education now, 16-18, they went to 6th form colleges as the school would not have them back. Most have thrived as they have found a practical subject which suits them, something that schools are not set up to teach. Speaking to their parents since the worry has left them as they have largely straightened out. The point of this ramble is that some of the problems they cause happen because they are bored at school. That will not change because the subjects on offer will not fit them. Ideally what is on offer at 16-18 via colleges or apprenticeships would be on offer earlier but I appreciate this is not financially viable.

The difficult part, why some get sent to special measures schools and having a friend who has worked in one of those I know what a dead end they can be, is what do you do with those who continue to aggravate, who refuse the help on offer? If you leave them in the mainstream then they can affect the rest of the class, they then have their education, their exam results put at risk. That can't be allowed, surely? It is a last resort but sometimes kids have to be taken out of the system for the sake of the others in the school. How you bring them back, help them, is mighty tricky but I suspect it needs a good amount of one on one help, teaching, guidance from specialised staff, of which I would guess there is not enough of on the whole.

I am certainly not claiming to know all of the answers on this very tricky subject. I am pretty sure though that smacking kids at any age is wrong.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Claiming a solution would be too strong. There are certainly some who are not suited to school and the lessons there. They may be better suited to a college or a more practical style of education. My son is now at university, my daughter doing her A levels this year. I've seen first hand friends of theirs who struggled at GCSE because the subjects held no interest or they simply struggled. None really kicked off but some started to get into some trouble as they were bored. Having to stay in education now, 16-18, they went to 6th form colleges as the school would not have them back. Most have thrived as they have found a practical subject which suits them, something that schools are not set up to teach. Speaking to their parents since the worry has left them as they have largely straightened out. The point of this ramble is that some of the problems they cause happen because they are bored at school. That will not change because the subjects on offer will not fit them. Ideally what is on offer at 16-18 via colleges or apprenticeships would be on offer earlier but I appreciate this is not financially viable.

The difficult part, why some get sent to special measures schools and having a friend who has worked in one of those I know what a dead end they can be, is what do you do with those who continue to aggravate, who refuse the help on offer? If you leave them in the mainstream then they can affect the rest of the class, they then have their education, their exam results put at risk. That can't be allowed, surely? It is a last resort but sometimes kids have to be taken out of the system for the sake of the others in the school. How you bring them back, help them, is mighty tricky but I suspect it needs a good amount of one on one help, teaching, guidance from specialised staff, of which I would guess there is not enough of on the whole.

I am certainly not claiming to know all of the answers on this very tricky subject. I am pretty sure though that smacking kids at any age is wrong.

Approx 2% of special needs children go to 'special schools' the rest are integrated into normal schools. They are a massive drain on the system as the education system requires them to have allocated teaching assistants and all sorts of other requirements. This costs a huge amount of money and it deprives normal kids due to a lack of funds. Should the majority suffer because of the minority? Harsh decision to make but somebody has to make it.

 

[GB72]

if it was a boarding school (so there 24 hours in a day), can understand how things like that can have more of an effect.

One of the big differences of the last 10-20 years (IMHO) ** cliche alert ** was if you told your parents you had been strapped / caned etc you would be reprimanded for it, with the school getting the benefit of the doubt, its 180 degree turn now, with a "oh no, my little johnny would never do that sort of thing" benefit of the doubt to the kids.

Smacking should be optional for a parent, but excesses punished by law.

School was part boarding but I was a day boy. Many of the punishments were carried out once a week and so parents had notice that you would be an hour late. Also had school on Saturday mornings and so punishment sessions that held you back after that were particularly feared. Others were held at lunchtime.

 

[pokerjoke]

Approx 2% of special needs children go to 'special schools' the rest are integrated into normal schools. They are a massive drain on the system as the education system requires them to have allocated teaching assistants and all sorts of other requirements. This costs a huge amount of money and it deprives normal kids due to a lack of funds. Should the majority suffer because of the minority? Harsh decision to make but somebody has to make it.

My wife works in safe guarding and helping get problem children back into school.
99% of the time the problem is the parents or more significantly parent.
It costs a helluva lot of money and time to help these children,however it’s important to get them back to normal school quickly to prevent bigger social problems later.

My dad smacked me a lot and hard,I deserved punishment but not a beating,once my mum had to pull him off me as he nearly broke my arm.
I hated him and threatened to kill him when I was old enough for which he just laughed.
I still think about it so it did effect me.
I promised never to hot mine and I’m proud to say I never have and never will.
My dad had 4 jobs and was never around and now I know why.
He was providing for the family,obviously tired and under pressure.
I respect him now more than ever because of what he was doing for me and the family.
I send my kids out every day with the words
“ be nice to everyone and they will be nice to you.
Be careful don’t take risks and respect everyone “ seems to work they are great kids.

 

[JT77]

I was lucky when I grew up, never got hit that often, once by my mother, which I deserved, got a ruler across the knuckles in school, a couple times, again, I probably deserved something, it taught me to not do that again, or make the same mistake twice, and did not do me any harm. Sometimes the issue is not the smacking, its that some people do not know when to stop.

I have 3 kids, I have not had to smack any of them, they all are well behaved, most of the time, and all are polite and well mannered, however, though we have never hit them, there was always the threat, the look and the stern tone, again, maybe I've just been lucky. We were fortunate that my wife has only had to return to work through choice in the last year or so, so my 3 all had their mother at home throughout the early years, a luxury not many can afford now, and she was able to devote her time to them, sometimes I think maybe children act up because they need attention from somewhere.

I am not convinced banning smacking is the answer, it is no longer there as a deterrent whether used or not, again, I don't think the smacking is the issue, its some people don't know when to stop.

 

[hovis]

at the end of the day kids need to know that parents mean business. for me this is simply achieved by taking away her dolls or other toys. I don't believe in beating a child but I wouldn't be opposed to a slap.

funnily enough, all the parents that I know from this anti smack group are the ones that have little gits for children that no one likes. however, in their eyes they are angels.

i was only smacked once, maybe twice as a child. that was enough for me to stick to the boundaries and not push my luck.

 

[TheDiablo]

I don't think there is any situation where I would think resorting to force against my child is acceptable.

If it ever happens it will be a reflection of a failure to control my emotions at that point, which would be something to regret.

Using force to control behaviour at a young age isnt a good thing. It normalises a behaivour I personally don't think is a good trait.

 

[Dando]

don’t remember being smacked as a kid but when i was 9 I told my sister to fcuk off so my parents washed my mouth out with soap and water!
I’ve haven't sworn since

* some of the above may not be true

 

[Grant85]

Seems bizarre that children have not had the same legal protection as an adult in terms of what amounts to assault.

I guess in reality it will probably not impact many people. Any sensible people will not smack or hit their children, but no doubt a lot of people still do and may well continue to and get away with it.

Will be interesting to see when the law is 1st tested what the dynamics are and if we end up seeing otherwise good and loving parents criminalised for a moment of madness.

 

[clubchamp98]

My other half is a secondary school teacher. Every evening I hear first hand how unruly and disrespectful modern kids are.

My daughter is a teacher and she has more trouble with the parents than the children.
The general public are mostly nice people but there are exceptions.

 

[2blue]

My other half is a secondary school teacher. Every evening I hear first hand how unruly and disrespectful modern kids are ALLOWED TO BE.

The School needs to seriously look at it 'Behaviour Policy'........ corporal punishment in the 21st Century is a definite NO, NO.
However I bet if there was a Referendum on this & the Death Penalty I think I know how it would go.

 

[clubchamp98]

The School needs to seriously look at it 'Behaviour Policy'........ corporal punishment in the 21st Century is a definite NO, NO.
However I bet if there was a Referendum on this & the Death Penalty I think I know how it would go.

How bad has a child got to be to get the death penalty.

 

[2blue]

Approx 2% of special needs children go to 'special schools' the rest are integrated into normal schools. They are a massive drain on the system as the education system requires them to have allocated teaching assistants and all sorts of other requirements. This costs a huge amount of money and it deprives normal kids due to a lack of funds. Should the majority suffer because of the minority? Harsh decision to make but somebody has to make it.

As they're a product of our society its our responsibility to accommodate them.

 

[2blue]

How bad has a child got to be to get the death penalty.

If they fail to accept a 'smack' as a behaviour correction method of course....... come on, work these things out please.

 

[USER1999]

How bad has a child got to be to get the death penalty.

Get less than 70% in a spelling test.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

The School needs to seriously look at it 'Behaviour Policy'........ corporal punishment in the 21st Century is a definite NO, NO.

Are you aware of just how little authority teachers and schools have nowadays? And who mentioned corporal punishment?

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

My daughter is a teacher and she has more trouble with the parents than the children.
The general public are mostly nice people but there are exceptions.

Maybe we are seeing the results of the first generation of kids brought up in a 'softly softly' environment. Who knows.....just saying.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

As they're a product of our society its our responsibility to accommodate them.

Yep not arguing against that but the point is we have a finite amount of resource to look after all children so how do we distribute the resources we have to look after them? Biased towards the problem children at the expense of normal ones?

 

[ColchesterFC]

Get less than 70% in a spelling test.

Typical softy liberal approach. It should be a minimum of 95%.

 

[2blue]

Are you aware of just how little authority teachers and schools have nowadays? And who mentioned corporal punishment?

This obviously depends on the School's Behaviour Policy...... 35 years teaching in a deprived area in an inner City School tends to make one aware..... kids changed little during those 35 years but how we dealt with their issues did...... & that's the School's Behaviour Policy