2blue
Journeyman Pro
Certainly not by pitting one group of children against another.
Smacking
- Thread starter robinthehood
- Start date
And what 'results' are they exactly?
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Sounds very like my Grammar school......
I got a couple of lashes with the cane for passing messages in a 3rd form maths exam...messages were about that afternoon's form cricket team....
Backache
Assistant Pro
Not quite sure what this law is for .
Hitting your child with aggression is already an offense , if you leave marks , hit them repeatedly etc you can be charged and rightfully so.
I am not particularly keen on smacking but I wonder what does more harm to a family a very occasional smack perhaps becuase the parent is genuinely fearful as a child has run across the road or prosecuting ,dividing and criminalising a family.
By and large it is not excessive punishment that is the problem but a lack on caring and nurturing . I don't see this law encouraging that which is where resources should be directed.
Hitting your child with aggression is already an offense , if you leave marks , hit them repeatedly etc you can be charged and rightfully so.
I am not particularly keen on smacking but I wonder what does more harm to a family a very occasional smack perhaps becuase the parent is genuinely fearful as a child has run across the road or prosecuting ,dividing and criminalising a family.
By and large it is not excessive punishment that is the problem but a lack on caring and nurturing . I don't see this law encouraging that which is where resources should be directed.
USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
Typical softy liberal approach. It should be a minimum of 95%.
That is harsh. 95% is loss of a limb, surely?
Wolf
Well-known member
I only ever got smacked once by my dad, it wasn't out of frustration or anger at me for being naughty but more through fear for the fact I'd as 9 year old sneaked out the house without him knowing and he'd spent over an hour looking for me worrying something had happen to me. I never did anything again that didn't involve in being honest with my parents from that day to this.
I've never smacked anyone of my kids, never felt the need to even when they're really pushing it, we've our own way of disciplining them and it works without argument from them or back chat.
I do think teachers need more support with unruly children, but modern society doesn't help with the way a lot of kids are being brought up. Not an easy conundrum to solve and I don't envy the teachers of this world
I've never smacked anyone of my kids, never felt the need to even when they're really pushing it, we've our own way of disciplining them and it works without argument from them or back chat.
I do think teachers need more support with unruly children, but modern society doesn't help with the way a lot of kids are being brought up. Not an easy conundrum to solve and I don't envy the teachers of this world
D
Deleted member 15344
Guest
https://forums.golf-monthly.co.uk/threads/smacking-children-should-you-do-it.98731/page-2
Well 12 months down the line , my daughter is older and at times has been naughty- not once felt like a smack is needed .
As can be seen by the previous thread it’s certainly a generation thing - most of our parents smacked up at some point and yep wouldn’t have done any damage but there are others out there who would have been damaged. It’s the right move and hopefully all follow
Well 12 months down the line , my daughter is older and at times has been naughty- not once felt like a smack is needed .
As can be seen by the previous thread it’s certainly a generation thing - most of our parents smacked up at some point and yep wouldn’t have done any damage but there are others out there who would have been damaged. It’s the right move and hopefully all follow
Khamelion
Tour Winner
Depends on how you class 'special needs', those who have autism (depending on the level) will work in mainstream, others will work outside and will have specially trained teachers and for the most part will not, or will only interact in mainstream periodically.
However, if you are meaning special needs as those who are just unruly, disruptive and a bad influence then they can require special requirements and can be a drain, but those kids should not be confused with those that do suffer from a recognisable and known disability. In writing the aforemention it could well be that those 2% you mention could have an undiagnosed disabilty and the disruption they create is likely unintentional.
but
They are those who are just plain ignorant, stupid, do not care and no matter what you do will not change because of their home environment, but then you enter whole different topic.
Karl102
Journeyman Pro
"You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass"
Bruce Lee 😉😉😉
Secondary school deputy head here in charge of behaviour.... So many contributing factors that heighten anxiety in young people today that were not around several yrs ago, social media, increasing domestic violence, computer games that gratify DV and violence, shortage of teachers, retention of existing good teachers, under resourced social care system, Americanisation of some behaviours and cultures (gangs/crime), the need for increasing child mental health services and I could go on.
Some would say an individuals behaviour is a function and a result of the environment they are brought up it, some would disagree and go with the nature 'born with it' approach. Both are valid. I see both cases regularly in school and do not have the answer.
For those interested pivotal education have a you tube channel that supports school and parental behaviour and the Bill Rogers behaviour management in school vids are worth a watch. See if what he says resonates with your school days, I bet it doesn't in most cases. He's dull, but he does speak sense....
Bruce Lee 😉😉😉
Secondary school deputy head here in charge of behaviour.... So many contributing factors that heighten anxiety in young people today that were not around several yrs ago, social media, increasing domestic violence, computer games that gratify DV and violence, shortage of teachers, retention of existing good teachers, under resourced social care system, Americanisation of some behaviours and cultures (gangs/crime), the need for increasing child mental health services and I could go on.
Some would say an individuals behaviour is a function and a result of the environment they are brought up it, some would disagree and go with the nature 'born with it' approach. Both are valid. I see both cases regularly in school and do not have the answer.
For those interested pivotal education have a you tube channel that supports school and parental behaviour and the Bill Rogers behaviour management in school vids are worth a watch. See if what he says resonates with your school days, I bet it doesn't in most cases. He's dull, but he does speak sense....
Karl102
Journeyman Pro
Oh... And I would also ban smacking...
Khamelion
Tour Winner
All well and good, but when you have a perfectly heathly able body and able mind child having a proper melt down tantrum in the middle tesco's and Mum or Dad is just saying talking to the kid and nothing is happening, well.....
Annie stop it or I'll say stop it again, and again and again
And then they think they talking has worked because the kid has stopped the tantrum some 15mins later, no the talking didn't work the kid most likely couldn't even hear the parent talking, the kid stopped because it got bored. So you're a parent with a lot of patience, whoop dee doo, you stand there like a prize plum with no control over your kid.
As is the topic of this thread, same situation, if that was me, my mam would've made sure I was looking at her and I would've got the line "what you crying for? shut up or I wil give yousomething to cry for.", that would genreally work, but if not, there was a smack incoming, and that wouild definitely work. Standing there for 15mins while I calmed down, I don't think so.
Id suggest there are lots of kids who use up more of a teachers time and resources that don’t have special needs. Also, the schools can get financial assistance for the extra help. If you mean that kids with special needs are simply using resources for teaching in general from national budgets for education then whatever school they go to wouldn’t matter. I’d imagine a special school costs more to to run than mainstream. So maybe all kids should go to mainstream school and just absorb the costs there.
What alternative is there. Pre screen all births and any chance of a special need force abortion? Or don’t educate them at all? Then spend how much basically looking after them? I’m biased in this chat as I’ve a daughter with mild cerebral palsy. She has an assistant, but if she went to one of the social schools she wouldn’t be anywhere near as bright as she is now because the hopes at those school are more based on becoming a function member of society than one that may contribute once they’ve gone on to have a career.
IMO, your calling it a harsh decision is to put it mildly, very out of touch.
Khamelion
Tour Winner
So smacking a kid gets made law everywhere, a parent then smakcs the kid, the kid reports the parent to the police, the parent is then prosecuted and worse case gets a custodial sentence, unlikely but not impossible, or the parent is not allowed to be unsuppervised with children at all.
What then happens to the kid? Who looks after the kid? If it was as ingle parent family, does the kid enter up in foster care? a home for smacked children?
The parent then gets a criminal record, perhaps loses their job and cannot get another.
The above may be the extreme, but in todays society is the above that niaive and extreme?
What then happens to the kid? Who looks after the kid? If it was as ingle parent family, does the kid enter up in foster care? a home for smacked children?
The parent then gets a criminal record, perhaps loses their job and cannot get another.
The above may be the extreme, but in todays society is the above that niaive and extreme?
D
Deleted member 15344
Guest
Kids have tantrums that’s just the way kids are , a kid having a tantrum is not reason to smack them , that to me isn’t great parenting to give them a smack to shut them up - what does that teach them ?
Khamelion
Tour Winner
It teaches them that if they act up in the same way again they will get smacked again, it is a deterent and it does work.
D
Deleted Member 1156
Guest
OK, how do you think resource should be allocated?
Wolf
Well-known member
Agree completely, all I can see that teaching them as they grow is to give someone a slap when they do something they don't like.
Tantrums happen with kids, it's up to the adult to show a way of rising above it and giving the children consequences or their actions in a more reasonable and responsible way, not resorting to a smack which is showing bad behaviour gets dealt with by using force.
D
Deleted member 15344
Guest
So what happens when they do it again ? A harder smack ?
D
Deleted Member 1156
Guest
Depends how tinted your rose spectacles are I guess.
Khamelion
Tour Winner
So taking the Tesco scenario, taking out of the supermarket and back home.
You've stood in Tesco's for 15mins talking softly to little Annie asking her repeatedly to stop her tantrum, you got no where read above for the rest, anyway later at home it's tea time and you've asked Annie to put her toys away, she doesn't want and has a tantrum, so you again use the same tactic and talk softly to her asking to behave and put her toys away, 15mins later the toys are still on the floor, her tea is getting cold, your tea is getting cold and you are no further forward. So you tell her leave you toys, come and get your tea before it gets cold.
You finish you tea and you tell Annie go put your toys away, and she has a tantrum, she not going to do it, you have a stand off.
Do you :-
A - Stand there like a prize plum having a battle of wits against a child.
B - Agree a compromize and tell you will help tidy up if she puts things away, basically admitting deafeat.
C - Withold a valued item from her, her iPad, Mobile phone, stop her wathcing telly, probably only add fuel to the fire and then you have to carry out the threat.
D - Send her to the naughty step
E - Just give in as it easier, great she has you wrapped around her little finger and she knows she'll be able to get away with anything.
F - Tell her you're going to count to 3 and if she hasn't started putting stuff away she'll get a smack
You've stood in Tesco's for 15mins talking softly to little Annie asking her repeatedly to stop her tantrum, you got no where read above for the rest, anyway later at home it's tea time and you've asked Annie to put her toys away, she doesn't want and has a tantrum, so you again use the same tactic and talk softly to her asking to behave and put her toys away, 15mins later the toys are still on the floor, her tea is getting cold, your tea is getting cold and you are no further forward. So you tell her leave you toys, come and get your tea before it gets cold.
You finish you tea and you tell Annie go put your toys away, and she has a tantrum, she not going to do it, you have a stand off.
Do you :-
A - Stand there like a prize plum having a battle of wits against a child.
B - Agree a compromize and tell you will help tidy up if she puts things away, basically admitting deafeat.
C - Withold a valued item from her, her iPad, Mobile phone, stop her wathcing telly, probably only add fuel to the fire and then you have to carry out the threat.
D - Send her to the naughty step
E - Just give in as it easier, great she has you wrapped around her little finger and she knows she'll be able to get away with anything.
F - Tell her you're going to count to 3 and if she hasn't started putting stuff away she'll get a smack
