Room 101

Golfers that don't rake bunkers.

Wildlife that digs in bunkers.

Not enough sand in bunkers.

Fairways that slope towards bunkers sending your 'position A' drive bouncing at right angles into said bunkers.

The guy who invented bunkers.

Ok, Ok, you got me - I had a nasty experience in a strokeplay comp. :o
 
Winter tee mats, especially the ones on a raised metal platform - very dangerous in icy conditions!

Players that don't call a good shot,

Players that are not ready with club after others have played,

Low handicappers that moan about high handicappers not telling you their gross score, 'cos they do it just as much :)

Golfmmad.
 
This thread comes around every so often, and it's great to see some of the new guys involved. This 101 thing always makes me laugh.

From the looks of it, I'll see you in there. I don't think that any one of us isn't guilty of at least one of these things!

Personally. I play in checkered shorts with long black socks, and white/brown Footjoy classics, with a pink shirt and a Pringle 'geometric' jumper with a golfer symbol on it; naturally, draped of the shoulders of course in true 'preppy' style. My black glove is carefully placed hanging out of my back pocket. My Japanese imported Muira irons and wedges are coseted in my 'Stewart' bag, logo'd of course, by some iron head covers with my initials on. My driver has a 'funny' head cover on it to show that I have a sense of humor. But my 3 wood head cover has a St Georges flag on it to prove my patriotism. I have a chipper, handy for those little touch shots around the green, and an 'Alien' wedge; because there great, 'cause Sam said so. I have hydrids upto and including a 5 iron loft; well they're just easier; aren't they. I wear a visor, even though I'm bald.

And do you know why I keep being invited back to play?

Because I always buy lunch.


:D
Click to expand...

he does too!

but I notice he didn't mention his K1 driver, FAST irons and the balls with Donnay crossed out and Z-Star written in. :D :D :p
 
I offer into room 101:

• Yellow Tee boxes - play the whole course not 2/3 of it.
• Injuries.
• Greens that are low single figures - on the stimp!!!!
• White gloves that are not white, I'd rather wear black.
• Crowned holes.
• That broken shell stuff that courses use on paths that gets stuck in your shoes and walked all over the greens.
• Spike bars that you can't sit down in.
• Crap tees that you can't find a flat lie.
• Courses that won't let you play off the back tees but take your money to let you play 2/3 of the course.
• Pitch marks.
• Anyone that doesn't repair pitch marks.
• Holes where you can't see the ball land, or the flag.
• Courses that have been hollow tined but no-one mentioned it when you paid your green fee.
• Courses where you see people walking their dogs.
• Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
• People who expect low handicappers to always play well.
• Anyone who looks for their ball for more than 5 minutes.
• Anyone with a warm up routine of more than 20 minutes. <wink>
• Practice greens that are not the same speed as the course.
• THE SHANKS (in case no-one mentioned them).
• Car parks that are too close to the course.
• Lucky bounces.
• Bunkers with what resembles builders sand in them.
• Practice grounds that are only 150yds long.
• Courses with greens that are smaller than my front garden.
• The Asia course at La Cala!! (it sucks)
• Losing a ball in light rough.
• Clover!!!!! God put it there to p*** off golfers.
• Heather!!! (...see clover)
• Bunkers that have water in them (there's NO excuse)
• Anyone that can't smile when they play.
• Low handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• High handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• Shorts
• Tee times that are too close together.
• Courses constantly flooded with societies.
• Courses without marshalls.
• Low handicappers who don't like playing with high handicappers.
• Greens that haven't seen a roller in years.
• Clubhouses without those air fed shoe cleaning thingys.
• People who moan about slow play.
• People who tee off when you're not out of range.
• People who expect others to hit a great shot just because they waited for the green to be clear.
• Green keepers who put themselves before the players.
• Leaves on greens (trees should be banned near greens)

and finally...
• Long putters !!! Can't stand the things.
 
Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
Click to expand...

You know, Scotland is the home of golf........ ;) just like England is the home of football and rugby.

How often did we have to listen to - "Footballs coming home" in 1996?? Did you hear us complain? :p
 
I offer into room 101:

• Yellow Tee boxes - play the whole course not 2/3 of it.
• Injuries.
• Greens that are low single figures - on the stimp!!!!
• White gloves that are not white, I'd rather wear black.
• Crowned holes.
• That broken shell stuff that courses use on paths that gets stuck in your shoes and walked all over the greens.
• Spike bars that you can't sit down in.
• Crap tees that you can't find a flat lie.
• Courses that won't let you play off the back tees but take your money to let you play 2/3 of the course.
• Pitch marks.
• Anyone that doesn't repair pitch marks.
• Holes where you can't see the ball land, or the flag.
• Courses that have been hollow tined but no-one mentioned it when you paid your green fee.
• Courses where you see people walking their dogs.
• Scotland as the home of golf, and people who keep saying that it is.
• People who expect low handicappers to always play well.
• Anyone who looks for their ball for more than 5 minutes.
• Anyone with a warm up routine of more than 20 minutes. <wink>
• Practice greens that are not the same speed as the course.
• THE SHANKS (in case no-one mentioned them).
• Car parks that are too close to the course.
• Lucky bounces.
• Bunkers with what resembles builders sand in them.
• Practice grounds that are only 150yds long.
• Courses with greens that are smaller than my front garden.
• The Asia course at La Cala!! (it sucks)
• Losing a ball in light rough.
• Clover!!!!! God put it there to p*** off golfers.
• Heather!!! (...see clover)
• Bunkers that have water in them (there's NO excuse)
• Anyone that can't smile when they play.
• Low handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• High handicappers that are stuck too far up themselves.
• Shorts
• Tee times that are too close together.
• Courses constantly flooded with societies.
• Courses without marshalls.
• Low handicappers who don't like playing with high handicappers.
• Greens that haven't seen a roller in years.
• Clubhouses without those air fed shoe cleaning thingys.
• People who moan about slow play.
• People who tee off when you're not out of range.
• People who expect others to hit a great shot just because they waited for the green to be clear.
• Green keepers who put themselves before the players.
• Leaves on greens (trees should be banned near greens)

and finally...
• Long putters !!! Can't stand the things.
Click to expand...

Ever considered making your own t.v. program? Grumpy not-so-old men who play golf.

I'll read these very few gripes and reply properly in a minute.
 
I wonder if justone uk and RGDave have chosen the wrong sport?
That is some list. :D :D
Click to expand...

What did I do? It's not my list...it's all the things that make JOuk so happy.

I don't have a list as long as that. My list is so short I've forgotten it.

:cool:
 
Golf clubs whose caterers serve up the horrible plastic little tub thingys for tea, yuk! What's wrong with proper milk?

Golfmmad.
 
Clubhouses that dish up soggy bacon for the pre match butties. Bacon is crispy. Always has been always will be. We don't want some anaemic warm rasher limply lying in our baguette. We want it curled and knarly for the sauce to run into and the butter to melt over. We want a satisfying crunh as we bite in.

If you can't serve a proper bacon butty I condemn thee to the kitchen of golfs room 101
 
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