Slime
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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Mudball
Assistant Pro
This tweet thread is hilarious ..
Slime
Tour Winner
A bit rude, but very funny.
CliveW
Tour Winner
Nicola Sturgeon was touring rural Scotland in the First Minister's chauffer driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola, in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffer, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffer gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything." The chauffer walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My goodness what happened to you?" asks Nicola. The chauffer replied, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say to them?" asked Nicola. "I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, "I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffer and I've just killed the cow."
Nicola, in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffer, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffer gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything." The chauffer walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My goodness what happened to you?" asks Nicola. The chauffer replied, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say to them?" asked Nicola. "I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, "I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffer and I've just killed the cow."
Slime
Tour Winner
What is E.T short for?
Because he has little legs.
Because he has little legs.
Slime
Tour Winner
Mudball
Assistant Pro
Nicola Sturgeon was touring rural Scotland in the First Minister's chauffer driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Nicola, in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffer, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffer gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything." The chauffer walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face.
"My goodness what happened to you?" asks Nicola. The chauffer replied, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say to them?" asked Nicola. "I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, "I'm Nicola Sturgeon's chauffer and I've just killed the cow."
I hvae just reported you to the mods for making political posts.. .
.. also as a vegan, i am hurt because an animal was hurt by your reckless post. I expect a full apology..
YandaB
Newbie
Pathetic Shark
Tour Rookie
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
I can see what you were implying but just go back and read what you have posted as it doesn't make any sense at all
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
What is brown and sits at the bottom of the wall.
Humpty dump
Humpty dump
Pathetic Shark
Tour Rookie
What is brown and sticky
A stick.
A stick.
Leftie
Tour Winner
Scientists have grown human vocal cords from stem cells. The results speak for themselves.
ColchesterFC
Journeyman Pro
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A carrot.
need_my_wedge
Has Now Found His Wedgie
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
It might be a small world - but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
She opened the door in her nightdress - and I thought - that's a funny place to have a door...
(courtesy Chic Murray)
She opened the door in her nightdress - and I thought - that's a funny place to have a door...
(courtesy Chic Murray)
Was it the front or back door? ?
toyboy54
Challenge Tour Pro
Clive W.......Re Mrs.Krankie,Brilliant (even SWMBO had a chuckle) !
Jimbo
Jimbo
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
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When you walk into a bakery and order a cake for 8 people!
