Laughter - the best medicine

[Lord Tyrion]

Not sure of the timing in relation to the folk you mention, but the first person I heard tell it was Billy Connolly.

Bobby Thompson was telling it, from clips I've seen, back in the 70's. I heard Max Boyce do it in the early 80's but who knows when he first did it. It's the sort of gag that the regional comics could all do before the advent of TV. TV has killed a joke like this being used by different comics. No idea who did it first time around.

In full length it's a good one, the story being stretched out etc and very much a joke from the working mens clubs.

 

[SocketRocket]

This could possibly be the oldest joke ever posted on here ?.

I've heard it told by Bobby Thompson, NE, Max Boyce, Wales and at least 3 other regional comedians from 'back in the day' who I can't quite name for now. Their versions are much longer of course. Anyone name the others who had a version?

One for the oldies ?

Didn't realise they had to be original ?

I'll get me duvet.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Didn't realise they had to be original ?

They certainly don't ?. It just made me smile as for whatever reason this joke has stuck in my head over the years, partly because I've heard it in many different, slightly, guises. I hope whoever wrote it originally got royalties beyond the original selling of it?

 

[Smiffy]

Only a fisherman would understand....

 

[Deleted member 21258]

 

[Lord Tyrion]

View attachment 39737

I'd like to know how successful their request was.








For snow, obviously ?

 

[bobmac]

Determined to complete the delivery.

 

[Slime]

 

[Dando]

 

[Blue in Munich]

BREAKING NEWS !

The M25 is blocked after a lorry shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I know it’s an oldie but it made me smile…

So many of the best racing drivers are named after Scottish places…Stirling Moss, Johnny Dumfries, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine, Ayr Toon Centre…????????

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

BREAKING NEWS !

The M25 is blocked after a lorry shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

…and the ‘letter‘ of the law will be changed to ‘stamp‘ down on the disruption caused…?

 

[SocketRocket]

 

[Dando]

 

[jim8flog]

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

View attachment 39753

One for the flying tree-please…??

 

[Dando]

 

[Dando]

My daughter was doing her homework and asked what I knew about Galileo.
I said I knew he was a poor boy from a poor family.

 

[Dando]

 

[Voyager EMH]

Fifty "Sheds" Of Grey
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We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall. In the end we came to the conclusion that the bottom of the garden was the only place for a shed.
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She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to the Garden Centre.
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She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally I moaned with pleasure.
Now for the other boot.
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Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though.
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“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”
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“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
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“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua ?”
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I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.
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“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing a pair of Stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped.
“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.
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“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”
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“Are you sure you want this?” I asked. “When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.”
She nodded.
“Okay,” I said and put the three-piece suite up for sale on eBay.
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“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied and so I left the toilet seat up.