ColchesterFC
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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
bobmac
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Steve Wilkes
Well-known member
Needs a furry mouse on a string and then watch then go
Slime
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A photographer friend of mine was killed when a huge lump of chedder fell on him.
To be fair, the people being photographed did appear to try and warn him.
To be fair, the people being photographed did appear to try and warn him.
AmandaJR
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NearHull
Well-known member
Three readings for me to get it.That one took me a while
CliveW
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Slime
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Slime
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Slime
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Slime
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Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his
career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another,
he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one
hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough
to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing
an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and
live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need-a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
"Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another,
he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one
hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough
to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing
an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and
live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need-a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
"Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new
shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve
and... 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new
shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve
and... 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure ..." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2...." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34.
It will press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
I'm not saying people in my area have bad teeth, but one woman just smiled in Tesco and the barcode scanner picked it up as a set of saucepans.
williamalex1
Money List Winner
Some crackers in Billy Connoly's ,in his own words, just now on channel 5.
Some stories I've never heard before , tears in my eyes laughing , even at the stories I have already heard
Some stories I've never heard before , tears in my eyes laughing , even at the stories I have already heard
ColchesterFC
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Blue in Munich
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