Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
To be honest Homer this thread has helped massively with advice from folk that have been through to much and it is a good place to sound off. ?
Dementia Awareness
- Thread starter Lord Tyrion
- Start date
HomerJSimpson
Hall of Famer
Felt the same way when I was struggling with my mental health during the pandemic waves at the hospital. Some brilliant people on here ready to help and had some great PM's
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
MiLs cognitive function seems to be slipping fairly noticeably and worryingly quickly…and if she is noticing she’s not saying. Just as she doesn‘t share about any other medical issues we suspect she is doing her best to cope with.
We reflect worryingly that the slippage in her cognitive function is a bit like my mum’s, slowly getting worse but nothing really to worry too much about but to monitor in case of possible dementia, until it fell off the cliff as it wasn’t just age or even dementia, it was a brain tumour - the brain had done its very clever trick of managing things until it decided it could no longer do so…and bang…off the cliff mum went ?
We reflect worryingly that the slippage in her cognitive function is a bit like my mum’s, slowly getting worse but nothing really to worry too much about but to monitor in case of possible dementia, until it fell off the cliff as it wasn’t just age or even dementia, it was a brain tumour - the brain had done its very clever trick of managing things until it decided it could no longer do so…and bang…off the cliff mum went ?
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Robster59
Tour Rookie
My Mum went into the care home last Monday and I went to see her yesterday. It wasn't good to see. She couldn't talk and looked awful. Her dementia meant she couldn't talk, so she wrote what she could on a pad, saying she loved us, as much as I could read. She didn't look comfortable, and I had to get the nurse to help her. It was quite distressing, not only because of her condition, but because I knew she didn't have much time left.
I can back home to Scotland (the care home is in Warrington) and said the same to my missus. I played golf today and, on the way home, got a call from my brother. He had been in to see Mum this afternoon and had just had a call from the home suggesting he come back in.
When her got there, be called me again, almost in tears, saying that she has low oxygen blood level and what did I think. I said we needed to just let her go peacefully. He was so relieved that I said that.
I then started ringing my children to let them know the situation, how she was. They both live away and asked would it be worthwhile coming back to see her. My niece (her granddaughter) had gone to join my brother, so he had some support. I rang the home direct and asked was it days or hours and was told it was only hours.
I then got a call from my niece to tell me that Mum had passed away. It was quick, peaceful, and she is now at rest. It's sad, but she was 98, had a good life and loving family, and, if what she believed is true, is reunited with my Dad.
Am I sad? Yes, of course. But having seen the ravages of old age and dementia, I was prepared for it and knew it would be soon, so it's not a shock or surprise. I'm comforted that she's now at peace.
R.I.P. Mum ?
I can back home to Scotland (the care home is in Warrington) and said the same to my missus. I played golf today and, on the way home, got a call from my brother. He had been in to see Mum this afternoon and had just had a call from the home suggesting he come back in.
When her got there, be called me again, almost in tears, saying that she has low oxygen blood level and what did I think. I said we needed to just let her go peacefully. He was so relieved that I said that.
I then started ringing my children to let them know the situation, how she was. They both live away and asked would it be worthwhile coming back to see her. My niece (her granddaughter) had gone to join my brother, so he had some support. I rang the home direct and asked was it days or hours and was told it was only hours.
I then got a call from my niece to tell me that Mum had passed away. It was quick, peaceful, and she is now at rest. It's sad, but she was 98, had a good life and loving family, and, if what she believed is true, is reunited with my Dad.
Am I sad? Yes, of course. But having seen the ravages of old age and dementia, I was prepared for it and knew it would be soon, so it's not a shock or surprise. I'm comforted that she's now at peace.
R.I.P. Mum ?
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RichA
Well-known member
I don't know you, but my thoughts are with you.
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Last paragraph is a bit blurry, for the first time on the forum I have a few, well more than a few tear reading it. Am sure it’s a mixture of your loss. Spending two hours alone with FIL on Friday whilst Missis T took her mother to the hospital for a check up on her Mastectomy. He was a Zombie who spent most of the time asleep or eating the mars bars biscuits I had bought him. One of the few things he said without being prompted. “ I love these”. Or being Told last Monday me dad had early/mid Vascular dementia with Alzhiemers.
Thoughts with you and your family Robster. I just hope the uncertain path you have travelled the last few years with you mother becomes clearer in the near future.
full_throttle
Tour Winner
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Cheers rob me man greatly appreciated ?
Robster59
Tour Rookie
I can't believe it's been nearly four years since this thread started (thanks @Lord Tyrion).
During that time, it has been of great help to me. Not only for the advice I have been given, but just as a sounding box to release my thoughts and feelings.
Whilst I am now coming out of the current issues that I have encountered over the years, I am not discounting the fact that more may be coming in the future.
But I am on here now to say thank you for everyone who has read, liked, responded, advised and just generally commented to all the threads I have posted on here (and thanks to the mods for allowing my long tomes on the subject).
I can't really express how much of a help and release for my emotions during that time coming on to this thread has been.
So I am coming on to say thank you to everyone for your support, and, for those who are still going through this sad experience, I will still be following this thread to provide support and assistance where I can.
Good luck and, once again, thanks to you all.
During that time, it has been of great help to me. Not only for the advice I have been given, but just as a sounding box to release my thoughts and feelings.
Whilst I am now coming out of the current issues that I have encountered over the years, I am not discounting the fact that more may be coming in the future.
But I am on here now to say thank you for everyone who has read, liked, responded, advised and just generally commented to all the threads I have posted on here (and thanks to the mods for allowing my long tomes on the subject).
I can't really express how much of a help and release for my emotions during that time coming on to this thread has been.
So I am coming on to say thank you to everyone for your support, and, for those who are still going through this sad experience, I will still be following this thread to provide support and assistance where I can.
Good luck and, once again, thanks to you all.
oxymoron
Club Champion
Sorry for the lateness of reply , my condolences to you and all your family .
It is indeed a painful journey and i hope as you say you can now find some comfort going forward .
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Been a while since Ave posted. Me and Missis T have had a good couple of days recharging in Derbyshire and Staffordshire. Really liked Leek. Anyway we’re are sat in a pub in Ashover. Having a Really nice time then my phone rings. MIL is in a panic because FIL has decided to get on a bus at 7.00 pm ?
What can we do 40 miles away. Suffice to say bro in law found him with the great help of the apple itag missis T bought six months ago. He is now back home. Ironically he saw the consultant today for a review and MIL says he is getting worse ( but allows him to have a wander coz he always comes home). ?
Because he spends all day on the settee asleep his muscle mass is just wasting away. He is not good.
Missi T is a bit bogged off coz we were sat in the pub and she said 2 mins before her mum
Called “I have 1% left on me battery”. It went dead seconds after she found where he was via the Itag.
Me dad he is early stage dementia and Alzihmers. He is fine but his memory is going. He has done what FIL refused to do for the first three years. Get checked and treated.
Happy days ahead ??
What can we do 40 miles away. Suffice to say bro in law found him with the great help of the apple itag missis T bought six months ago. He is now back home. Ironically he saw the consultant today for a review and MIL says he is getting worse ( but allows him to have a wander coz he always comes home). ?
Because he spends all day on the settee asleep his muscle mass is just wasting away. He is not good.
Missi T is a bit bogged off coz we were sat in the pub and she said 2 mins before her mum
Called “I have 1% left on me battery”. It went dead seconds after she found where he was via the Itag.
Me dad he is early stage dementia and Alzihmers. He is fine but his memory is going. He has done what FIL refused to do for the first three years. Get checked and treated.
Happy days ahead ??
Robster59
Tour Rookie
Thoughts are with you. It's stressful times, but if you and your missus support each other, you'll get through it. (p.s. invest in portable phone charger 
).
).
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
It’s her 60th next month. She will be spoilt ??Thoughts are with you. It's stressful times, but if you and your missus support each other, you'll get through it. (p.s. invest in portable phone charger
RichA
Well-known member
Currently staying at Dad's in Notts after he had a fall and got an infection. He hasn't got dementia but it's alarming how an infection can mess up an older persons cognitive ability. 4 days ago he drove himself to the forest for a mile walk. The following day he was out for a pub meal with a friend. Now he can't string a coherent sentence together or stand up.
Also troubling is the lack of dementia awareness among the otherwise fabulous medical staff. There are quite a lot of obvious dementia sufferers in the various wards and it's surprising how many staff are clueless how to talk to them and help them.
Also troubling is the lack of dementia awareness among the otherwise fabulous medical staff. There are quite a lot of obvious dementia sufferers in the various wards and it's surprising how many staff are clueless how to talk to them and help them.
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Just talking to Missis T re your post, she is missing like a donkey re your comment cognitive behaviour. Stay safe in Notts me duck
That's massively disappointing. It really isn't that difficult and if it was not in their basic training then I can't believe that they haven't been on a course since then. It's such a massive part of life now, they really should be on the ball with it.
Hope your dad picks up soon.
RichA
Well-known member
Cheers brothers. It is weird. The Dementia Friends online course only takes an hour or so, from memory. That and caring for my late mum and my living mil leaves me feeling overqualified, by comparison.
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
Totally understand re folk not being able to talk to folk with dementia. MIL at times disgusts me The way she talks to her husband and Missis T. In fact MIL said to Missis T “ I am sorry if I upset you”. Missis T had had enough and said “ you don’t upset me, you piss me off bigstyle the way you talk to folk”. It had been coming. She has got that lazy and useless that I swear one day she will
Ask Missis T to come round and lick a Stamp coz she cannot do it.
It’s not just MIL though. Me mum ? Father wa diagnosed with dementia etc a year ago. I have been informing my mum
Of how IN Laws had been going on over last couple of years. Basically to keep them
In the loop. It was a waste of time. I am of the opinion now that to be mum It was just gossip. And it pisses me off. Both our mothers are bogged off coz it has impacted their lives. ? what about their husband’s and kids. Me mum
Is now in a 35 day cruise around the Caribbean with me dad in tow. Sometimes i just think I am Banging my bloody head against a wall.
@Tashyboy my FiL still tries to test his wife with rapid fire questions, even though she is now very advanced with her dementia ?. It's plain cruel, he thinks it's funny. He is as clueless now as on day 1.
It used to massively wind my wife up but at least now her mum is in a home and he isn't looking after her, or not, so his impact on her is minimal now. The staff in the home are lovely to her, it has a specialist dementia floor, so they know how to deal with residents correctly and compassionately. Getting her in there was a major move forwards.
Family huh ?
It used to massively wind my wife up but at least now her mum is in a home and he isn't looking after her, or not, so his impact on her is minimal now. The staff in the home are lovely to her, it has a specialist dementia floor, so they know how to deal with residents correctly and compassionately. Getting her in there was a major move forwards.
Family huh ?
Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
@Tashyboy my FiL still tries to test his wife with rapid fire questions, even though she is now very advanced with her dementia ?. It's plain cruel, he thinks it's funny. He is as clueless now as on day 1.
It used to massively wind my wife up but at least now her mum is in a home and he isn't looking after her, or not, so his impact on her is minimal now. The staff in the home are lovely to her, it has a specialist dementia floor, so they know how to deal with residents correctly and compassionately. Getting her in there was a major move forwards.
Family huh ?
Families indeed. Surprised no one has started a thread on the forum. ???
