Caroline Flack

[Deleted member 1147]

Never mind the insidious effect this sort of realty programme has on young girls especially and their perceptions of self, body image, self-esteem and ultimately self-worth. And when self-worth gets very low we head into a very dark place. God bless.

...& boys

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I see the press and the CPS are being lined up as the culprits in this, yet Love Island seems to be getting a pass.

Maybe it's me, but a series that has had 2 contestants and a presenter commit suicide needs to take a long hard look at itself.

The CPS will only be doing their job , an assault did take place and I have no doubt they were just going though they process

In regards the telly - it’s reality telly and it’s been happening for decades now , I believe the show have a lot after show care etc for the contestants but the first young girl that killed herself was suffered for years before the show, ADHD and depression and was on a lot of medication over the years - same with the the guy.

Flack has been hounded for years even before she became the presenter of the show - she was called a peadophile when she was going out with Harry Styles because he was younger than her , then there was Prince Harry and again hounded.

Love Island does make celebrities of some of their contenders but it shouldn’t mean they should be open to the level of abuse they get on both social media and mainly the written press

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

...and just perhaps if she wasn’t having to carry with her through every day of her life the heavy load of media intrusion and social media abuse - built up over years and very difficult to put aside - then maybe she could have ‘carried‘ the court case. But no - it is likely it seems that this - or maybe something else not obviously significant but perhaps related to it - was the straw that broke the camels back, and caused her to collapse as she has done.

Sometimes it is not the big things that break us, but something little that just makes the heavy load we are already carrying just too heavy to bear - and with no one to share it with...we collapse.

so very sad and yet - and surely - so very avoidable

 

[Deleted member 16999]

The CPS will have just been the tipping point, so it's obviously going to be to the forefront of blame, but CF was struggling with Anxiety & depression for some time, as many do, but like many people in all walks of life they put on a brave face and wear a mask, and just because they have wealth by being in the public eye and are essentially famous, does't make them any different to the man or woman on the street.

It's a tragic loss of life, people close to her will be devastated they didn't see the signs, or could have helped more if they did know to some degree, but tbh, if your'e sat in solitude dwelling and things just seem to be getting worse, and your'e suffering like she was reported to be, then nobody would have stopped her, mental health is very real, and it does't discriminate against who it targets!

Probably the best post on here for a long time.

We all have the ability to “push buttons” or “shoot from the hip” when answering people on here or in person (I certainly have) and at times we should try and remember this forum is social media and we are all “real” people behind the posts with no idea what forum members are coping with or going through.

We’ve had members bravely come forward and discuss their problems and ask for help, we’ve, 100%, got members struggling on their own and probably a fortunate minority who have never been personally affected by mental illness.

Let’s try a little harder eh!

And for anyone who is struggling or feels isolated, trapped etc, please ask for help, please reach out, you are not alone.

 

[Hacker Khan]

Never mind the insidious effect this sort of realty programme has on young girls especially and their perceptions of self, body image, self-esteem and ultimately self-worth. And when self-worth gets very low we head into a very dark place. God bless.

Your could add Instagram, other social media, music videos, indeed a vast amount of advertising as well. All promoting the perfect life, perfect body, prefect friends.

The amount of s@@t we throw at our younger generations that is messing with their self worth in the name of getting more clicks, selling more product, making more money is hideous and only getting worse. And then we wonder why the younger allegedly snowflake generations act like they do.

 

[ger147]

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

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Perhaps we can all take a moment to reflect about ourselves and any individual who used to be in our life and close, but today - for whatever reason - is not. And perhaps, whether or not we consider the separation down to us or them, we take the opportunity to reach out. We may not get a reply or any response - but we do not know what our reaching out might mean to that person.

 

[harpo_72]

View attachment 29200

That’s a nice stance to take and I am sure it is very much appreciated when it’s offered. I would also advocate that an element of self help is required. Honestly asking yourself what makes you unhappy and then addressing those issues. Deep down they are driven by people around you. Social media allows these toxic relationships to proliferate.. disconnecting from it is a solution and seeking the company of your closest friends will always be a benefit.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

That’s a nice stance to take and I am sure it is very much appreciated when it’s offered. I would also advocate that an element of self help is required. Honestly asking yourself what makes you unhappy and then addressing those issues. Deep down they are driven by people around you. Social media allows these toxic relationships to proliferate.. disconnecting from it is a solution and seeking the company of your closest friends will always be a benefit.

Both are nice and fine sentiments, but I would also add the other person may not be in the “right place” to be approached, they may be in denial or just unaware.

Unfortunately there is no “one answer suits all” or one tablet that can fix it, it’s very complex and difficult and at times we all need to tread carefully.

 

[User20204]

It's a terribly sad and tragic ending but I never really understand people who don't know them personally getting upset.

I was shocked as anyone when I heard yesterday, I did think about her during the evening yet went to bed last night not thinking about her or her loved ones and got up this morning again with her not in my thoughts.

 

[stefanovic]

Don't watch LI and don't use social media.
That's because I got the point of life years ago, and it's Darwinian.
The Sun trying to promote b/s that none of us need to be alone is fake news because all of us are alone. We are born alone, we live life on our own, we die alone.
As Thomas Hobbes remarked: Life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.
So don't get ahead of yourself. Sports people and celebrities are particularly vulnerable.
They can't cope when life doesn't live up to expectations.
Get used to harsh reality.

 

[Hacker Khan]

It's a terribly sad and tragic ending but I never really understand people who don't know them personally getting upset.

I was shocked as anyone when I heard yesterday, I did think about her during the evening yet went to bed last night not thinking about her or her loved ones and got up this morning again with her not in my thoughts.

Depends on what you class as 'upset'. If you are purely classing it as people getting upset because she has died then if you are a fan of hers then it is completely understandable. Of course you will not be upset as if it was a loved one or family member that died, but it can still affect you. And whilst it does not relate directly to her, you can also be upset that we live in a society where suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the country. And any high profile suicide could open up a conversation about that.

 

[User20204]

Don't watch LI and don't use social media.
.

Really ? You want to have another go at that again ?

 

[Hacker Khan]

Don't watch LI and don't use social media.
That's because I got the point of life years ago, and it's Darwinian.
The Sun trying to promote b/s that none of us need to be alone is fake news because all of us are alone. We are born alone, we live life on our own, we die alone.
As Thomas Hobbes remarked: Life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.
So don't get ahead of yourself. Sports people and celebrities are particularly vulnerable.
They can't cope when life doesn't live up to expectations.
Get used to harsh reality.

To be honest from what I see I'd argue that everyone is vulnerable to that. Including an alarming number of young people.

 

[Imurg]

The truly ironic thing that's going on at the moment is the vitriol being aimed at those who aimed vitriol at CF .
Abuse is abuse no matter who its aimed at.
And you feel it no matter how thick skinned you make out you are or how much you try and ignore it.
A line in the sand needs to be drawn.
All forms of abuse should be dealt with swiftly and positively
"Banter" is a good one. Oh, it's only banter so it doesn't matter.
Well, sometimes it does.

 

[User20204]

. Including an alarming number of young people.

The issue I see with the young of today and mainly women (despite the high suicide rate in young men) if they need others to satisfy their own self need for loving. They take more selfies of themselves in a day than my mother took of me in ten years. They always need other peoples verification that they are lovely/hot call it what you want, they need that fix and I can't understand why.

 

[stefanovic]

Get off social media platforms like Facebook.
The idea that you have friends everywhere is a lie.
Believe me, you will always have more enemies, even within your own family.

 

[Hacker Khan]

The issue I see with the young of today and mainly women (despite the high suicide rate in young men) if they need others to satisfy their own self need for loving. They take more selfies of themselves in a day than my mother took of me in ten years. They always need other peoples verification that they are lovely/hot call it what you want, they need that fix and I can't understand why.

Small point but technically your mother could not have taken selfies of you, she would just be taking a picture. The comparison would have been the number of selfies she took of herself on a camera.

There is research to say that it is how the human brain operates and it has always been there. All we have done as a society is come up with 'easy ways' for people to meet their needs. Many many more kids have a camera nowadays on their phone where as in years past hardly any kids had access to one, social media provides a channel for them to easily gain 'likes', they are bombarded with often unrealistic images to show what they should look like and aspire to be.

It is not all the fault of social media companies, but they have just provided a widely available technological solution to our basic human needs to be wanted, liked and respected and sometimes show off. Something that is particularly prevalent in your girls as they often judge their self worth on the number of friends they have and their popularity, always have done. It's just a lot easier for them to get that 'instant hit' now and companies such as Instagram are more than happy to provide the platform for them to do it, whilst at the same time hovering up all sorts of data about them they can then monetize. Yes some young people are very self obsessed, but mostly they are just a product of their environment.

 

[Hobbit]

The issue I see with the young of today and mainly women (despite the high suicide rate in young men) if they need others to satisfy their own self need for loving. They take more selfies of themselves in a day than my mother took of me in ten years. They always need other peoples verification that they are lovely/hot call it what you want, they need that fix and I can't understand why.

Its a spiral. Once upon a time if someone said well done, that's all most people needed. Peer pressure, ambitions and expectations are far higher today than they've ever been. Failure to meet those expectations, and the 'public' scrutiny that failure brings on is high. Some people need more than well done as affirmation they are doing right.

Perhaps give a thought to what it might be like if you constantly felt like a failure, reinforced by so many people telling you, you are a failure. It is a circle, or a downward spiral. How would you break that circle.

Some strong characters will sympathise, others who've been to dark places will empathise. Wherever you sit in that spectrum, whether you fully understand the motivators either way, a young person has given in to the darkest thoughts anyone could ever have. To reach that point she will have suffered long and hard. She will have known minutes that felt like hours and hours that felt like days. She will have woken up in the morning because her body has woken her up but she won't have felt like eating, washing or dressing. And the thought of company will have terrified her. The thought of sitting in a restaurant, especially in the middle of the restaurant and not with her back to a wall would have seen her sweating and running for the hills.

Short version; I stood on the edge of a cliff at 3:30am out in Italy 10 years ago and seriously contemplated jumping. Years of PTSD took me there. The journey, the days/weeks/months/years to get to that point were horrific. And the journey back up from the pit of despair was greasy.

Suicide is the mistake that no one can put right. And the what if's for those that are left behind...

I couldn't give a toss what judgements anyone wants to apply to her for her actions. I feel desperately sorry for her for the pain she will have gone through to reach that point, and I feel desperately sorry for those left behind with the what if's. As for the media and the trolls.... there isn't an infraction big enough to cover my disgust and what I'd like to say.

 

[drdel]

It seems to me that that the fracas caused no danger to the public and the CPS were misguided. It did not need to keep it going.

A bit like this thread which IMO has shown some poor taste and serves no purpose and is best terminated, we could just respect the fact a person has died and may she RIP