Women's safety

[rudebhoy]

Being a husband, and the father of an 18yo daughter, I've been thinking a lot about this in the last few days.

We've been discussing it, and I have to say I never realised what a massive worry this is and how it shapes women's life on a daily basis. Both my wife and daughter have said that every single journey they make, either on public transport or walking, they plan their route to be as safe as possible, and are constantly on the lookout for danger.

My daughter told me she always walks with her house keys in her hand in order to protect herself should anything happen.

I'm a bit ashamed to admit I never realised what a massive everyday issue this is for women. If some good has come out of recent horrible events, it's the national conversation that has been going on about this issue. I'm sure a lot of guys have had their eyes opened.

Small things can help, so I've went out and bought them personal alarms which emit a 140db alarm. you attach them to a key ring, they are only a fiver each. If it gives them a bit more protection and peace of mind, it's money well spent.

 

[AmandaJR]

I wouldn't say it shapes my life as such as that would, for me, be allowing the fear to escalate and the bad guys to win. But, it is indeed a part of every day life in terms of decision-making and choices which I've always accepted is the way it is - it almost just is what it is and recent events have made me think "yep, that's every day life for women". It is possibly every day life (if not worse) for women all over the world and I'm not sure what the answer is as there will always be bad guys (and girls). I think the main factor is that generally men are stronger than women plus rape (usually) being a man on a woman and not woman on woman or woman on man. Stature-wise I'm small but would fancy my chances of fighting off most women but not most men.

Not sure I've put that well nor really what I'm trying to say - it's being sensible and choosing wisely rather than taking unneccessary chances...it's not about being scared every time I leave the house though.

 

[PJ87]

Disappointed in the attuide of a lot of men about the whole situation

Quick to condemn but when comes to change or different ways of thinking things to provoke debate and reaction the same out comments come

Men feel unsafe too!!
Not all men are dangerous!!
Women can commit crimes!!

As always valid points get lost in the outrage

 

[Tashyboy]

Ave said it for years, there is a part of society that is sick. This week womens safety is in the spotlight, and rightly so. We have had BLM due to racism, and rightly so. But the list goes on and on. How many children have been abused in care homes. Priests abusing children. Actresses being abused in exchange for roles. Politicians abusing kids. Saville, Maxwell, Glitter, Wests, Epstein, etc etc etc.
On a day that is a anniversary of the shocking events of happened at Dunblane, there is still a part of society that has no respect for people of any colour, age or sex.

 

[RichA]

Reading a lot of this forum's content over the last couple of days, it's easy to imagine nothing has changed since the 80s.
Like many, I think, I'm only using the forum so much at the moment because I've got too much time on my hands. I pretty much had enough of it after reading a lot of the comments yesterday.
Refreshing this morning to read this thread and also to realise that there is actually a woman contributing. I feel embarrassed that Amanda probably read all the misogynistic crap that appeared over the last couple of days, but I guess you're used to it. What a dismal thing to have to accept as a fact of life.

 

[rudebhoy]

Reading a lot of this forum's content over the last couple of days, it's easy to imagine nothing has changed since the 80s.
Like many, I think, I'm only using the forum so much at the moment because I've got too much time on my hands. I pretty much had enough of it after reading a lot of the comments yesterday.
Refreshing this morning to read this thread and also to realise that there is actually a woman contributing. I feel embarrassed that Amanda probably read all the misogynistic crap that appeared over the last couple of days, but I guess you're used to it. What a dismal thing to have to accept as a fact of life.

Agreed. Some of the comments yesterday about Page 3 were pathetic.

 

[PNWokingham]

Reading a lot of this forum's content over the last couple of days, it's easy to imagine nothing has changed since the 80s.
Like many, I think, I'm only using the forum so much at the moment because I've got too much time on my hands. I pretty much had enough of it after reading a lot of the comments yesterday.
Refreshing this morning to read this thread and also to realise that there is actually a woman contributing. I feel embarrassed that Amanda probably read all the misogynistic crap that appeared over the last couple of days, but I guess you're used to it. What a dismal thing to have to accept as a fact of life.

I absolutely agree with women wanting to feel support and would support initiatives to help this - whether lighting, CCTV, increased police presence, coming down very hard on those that abuse women and any men who are misognyst in actions and attitude.

Not that i have read everything but where exactly has all this misogyny been stated? Misogyny is defined as a "hatred of women". Please enlighten us and we can shame those with this attitude. What i have seen are a lot of comments against tagging all men with misogynistic or any other traits. That I disgree with - you do not label a whole category, class, sex or any other group of humans with a tag of a small minority of said group. Go and call all Muslims as terrorists due to the warped actions of a very small minority of people who abusue that religion and see how that goes?

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Disappointed in the attuide of a lot of men about the whole situation

Quick to condemn but when comes to change or different ways of thinking things to provoke debate and reaction the same out comments come

Men feel unsafe too!!
Not all men are dangerous!!
Women can commit crimes!!

As always valid points get lost in the outrage

OK, suggest some solutions?

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Agreed. Some of the comments yesterday about Page 3 were pathetic.

Did you ever look at page 3? Or any other images of topless/naked women?

 

[rudebhoy]

Did you ever look at page 3? Or any other images of topless/naked women?

Of course I have seen page 3. Everyone has. Doesn't mean to say I approve of it. I can honestly say I have never bought a paper with topless pictures on page 3. Even when I was a daft teenager I knew it was wrong and demeaning.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Of course I have seen page 3. Everyone has. Doesn't mean to say I approve of it. I can honestly say I have never bought a paper with topless pictures on page 3. Even when I was a daft teenager I knew it was wrong and demeaning.

Do you think the models were forced into it or did it by choice. Many of them became very rich and famous. Who is exploiting who?

 

[PNWokingham]

Of course I have seen page 3. Everyone has. Doesn't mean to say I approve of it. I can honestly say I have never bought a paper with topless pictures on page 3. Even when I was a daft teenager I knew it was wrong and demeaning.

so you are happy to do things that you disaprove of?

 

[rudebhoy]

so you are happy to do things that you disaprove of?

no idea what you are going on about.

 

[rudebhoy]

Do you think the models were forced into it or did it by choice. Many of them became very rich and famous. Who is exploiting who?

and what about the impact on the 99.9% of women who weren't on page 3?

If you portray women as sex objects on a daily basis, then you shouldn't be surprised when some men treat them as sex objects in real life. or don't you think there is a correlation?

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

and what about the impact on the 99.9% of women who weren't on page 3?

If you portray women as sex objects on a daily basis, then you shouldn't be surprised when some men treat them as sex objects in real life. or don't you think there is a correlation?

What about the women that go to clubs/pubs in the skimpiest of outfits seeking lots of male attention?

 

[PNWokingham]

no idea what you are going on about.

read your respnse. You looked at page 3 but knew it was wrong and demeaning. Interseting to see how feel about many of the classic works of art featuring naked images women? Should they be banished like the statues, road names, pub names etc - or are they ok unlike similar images of woen in other formats?

 

[MegaSteve]

For a well functioning society there has to be a collective responsibility...
Without that, remaining in the 'dark ages' is the likely outcome...

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I was shocked that over 120 women/girls have been murdered since the start of the year

There will always be the sick twisted people who prey on vunerable people and it appears common that the sick individuals target females - I suspect it’s a superiority belief as well as being physically stronger

It’s also worth remembering it’s more likely that you are attacked by someone you know as opposed to a complete stranger

When it comes to safety there are no doubt many things we can all do

Try not to walk alone late in dark lit areas
More CCTV in areas
Buy personal alarms
Create messages to friends to let you know they get home
Keep your tracking on your phone

But you are never going to stop every attack so imo the best way is when you are in a place you don’t feel comfortable be alert and be defensive - look after yourself the best way you feel you can

I also worry even when the wife is driving home after hockey training

The local hockey team have a relationship with a local taxi firm so they always book with them

I have no doubt we want everyone to be safe from everything - but life isn’t that perfect

 

[clubchamp98]

Disappointed in the attuide of a lot of men about the whole situation

Quick to condemn but when comes to change or different ways of thinking things to provoke debate and reaction the same out comments come

Men feel unsafe too!!
Not all men are dangerous!!
Women can commit crimes!!

As always valid points get lost in the outrage

I see what your saying but I think most ordinary family men don’t take kindly to being accused of being a threat to women.
If a woman feels uneasy just because I am walking down the same road as her what am I to do about it?
I think most men would think like me.
I am and never have been a threat to anyone especially women.
People who prey on weaker individuals are the scum of the earth imo.
But I can’t do anything about a perceived threat just because I am walking to the shops.
I don’t know what the answer is but if muggers / rapists etc are in jail they can’t threaten anyone.
But prosecutions are so low it’s a problem.

 

[Kellfire]

I see what your saying but I think most ordinary family men don’t take kindly to being accused of being a threat to women.
If a woman feels uneasy just because I am walking down the same road as her what am I to do about it?
I think most men would think like me.
I am and never have been a threat to anyone especially women.
People who prey on weaker individuals are the scum of the earth imo.
But I can’t do anything about a perceived threat just because I am walking to the shops.
I don’t know what the answer is but if muggers / rapists etc are in jail they can’t threaten anyone.
But prosecutions are so low it’s a problem.

What can you do? Cross over to the other side if you think it makes her feel safer. If you’re wearing a hat or a hood, maybe take it down so she can see your face and feel more safer. If you’re both walking at a similar pace, maybe speed up and go past her or slow down for a moment to allow her more space so she feels safer.

There are little things we can do to help this situation and little to no impact to ourselves.