Why do some men think they can just urinate where they want

[Smiffy]

In 30 years of playing golf I have never ever seen anyone urinate in the middle of the fairway and I think that anyone who does needs their arse kicked

I would wait until they're finished though 'cos they won't half get a lot of piss down the front of their kecks.

 

[19thagain]

I have seen people do it on the green, but it was in Scotland, so I guess it's ok.

I think it is only a small minority of English tourists that let England down.

 

[Alex1975]

Unreal... I cant believe it.. pissing on the fairway. I have never seen it, I would be gob smacked... I dont know what I would say or do!

 

[iku]

There are few houses inside my course and one bunker on the 11th is infamous for being the litter tray of a lady's cats... at least I thought they were cats...

 

[nil1121]

the first 2 occasions it was at a course i was a member at and i reported it to the secretary but not sure if anything happened, i'm no longer a member there nore are my children. the 3rd time was when my wife was dropping my son off for an away match and was in full view of the carpark.

 

[SwingSlow]

Not just disgusting behaviour, but potentially a criminal offence of indecent exposure. Huge risk for the individual and the club. A direct, but rational letter to the club in order.

 

[mikee247]

Unfortunatley this is the way things ae going nowadays... its a chav culture we live it and people have no respect for others, thier property and the game of golf. I have seen people ( visitors, golf breaks etc) drive buggies up onto the first tee, shirts hanging out, shouting and screaming when they are clearly shitfaced already with the buggies stacked with beer. I can guarantee they will be pissing everywhere by the turn along with everything else... The management at our club wont do anything ( used to have a superb reputation and clientele) as they are desperate for the revenue in this enviroment that these scum bags bring in. The kids in the shop are of course unlikely to confront them... Golf has become affordable now to the general public and its going down hill. It doesnt help with the likes of Tiger Woods spitting on the greens etc in front of camera's!! I was always against private members clubs and all the snobbery that goes with it but thats where Im off I think as I cant stand the way the masses are destroying what the game is all about. For the record I often have a leak on the course but discretion and common sense should apply. Rant over!

 

[jeardley]

On a recent trip to St Andrews we got chatting to a caddy in the pub. He tells a story of an Austrian women he caddied for on the Castle Course who dropped her draws 3 times to take a piss on the fairway she then demanded that he joined her in the bar afterwards and she got the scotch out.

Quite a story if true.

 

[grumpyjock]

I suppose that was the reason they banned the kilt on the course you could just squat and have a riddle wherever.
Gentlemen do not urinate on the course we use the little mens rooms.

 

[chiv]

...its got to be adjacent to cover; especially when you're not sure what way the wind's blowing.

 

[USER1999]

Bet this one doesn't make the forum section in the mag.

 

[Monty_Brown]

Bet this one doesn't make the forum section in the mag.

"Piss longer and straighter! Ian Poulter's top tips to add 20 yards to your urination"

 

[Leftie]

Never pick blackberries on the course lower than shoulder height.

 

[Bratty]

Never pick blackberries on the course lower than shoulder height.

Depends on the height of your shoulders, Leftie. I'd go with head height for yourself and PN Wokingham!
Sincere apologies, but it was just too nicely set up!

 

[brendy]

Were they wearing white trousers?

 

[Leftie]

I was referring to most people's shoulders, not PN's or mine.

Plonker.

 

[Leftie]

I am led to believe that the following is true.

A club near Croydon had a complaint from an elderly lady who lived near the 15th tee. She maintained that golfers coming off the 14th green would often stop by some bushes and do what comes naturally in full view.

The club found this hard to believe especially as this was a popular "watering hole" that everyone thought was out of sight of the houses.

The lady persisted and eventually a couple of committee members visited her to see for themselves. They went into her garden and were unable to see the offending area. "You will see it better from upstairs" she said and took them up to the bathroom. They were a bit puzzled at this stage as the windows had frosted glass but she put a stool by the window, opened the fanlight, handed them some binoculars, and told them to look for themselves.

A sad, sad lady.

 

[palindromicbob]

The pro shop should stock up on these then!

 

[StrangelyBrown]

I am led to believe that the following is true.

A club near Croydon had a complaint from an elderly lady who lived near the 15th tee. She maintained that golfers coming off the 14th green would often stop by some bushes and do what comes naturally in full view.

The club found this hard to believe especially as this was a popular "watering hole" that everyone thought was out of sight of the houses.

The lady persisted and eventually a couple of committee members visited her to see for themselves. They went into her garden and were unable to see the offending area. "You will see it better from upstairs" she said and took them up to the bathroom. They were a bit puzzled at this stage as the windows had frosted glass but she put a stool by the window, opened the fanlight, handed them some binoculars, and told them to look for themselves.

A sad, sad lady.

Sounds like something Meddlesome Ratbag from the Viz would do

 

[need_my_wedge]

Never pick blackberries on the course lower than shoulder height.

Same advice I gave my son just last week after he told me they'd been eating blackberries during his round the day before.