Pressure on kids in sports

[MegaSteve]

Ps. you want to try being a ref at these matches U6 upwards some people do really need to get a grip

Youngest grandson just had his first season of playing organised footie...
Attended a couple of end of season tournaments as a spectator...
Some of the parental touchline behaviour was frankly, at the very least, embarrassing for the kids...
I put it down to world cup fever...

 

[Deleted member 23270]

and once children start feeling pressure that has gone too far.

Guess we will just have to disagree on that one, sounds like you are happy to breed a bunch of losers?

 

[Deleted member 18588]

This is my point exactly. Life is competitive. If you want to get on then you have to compete in the workplace to get the best jobs or you can be a wallflower at the back of the queue and just accept whatever you are giving. Sport is a good way to learn those competitive skills.

Or we can go down the yoghurt knitting path of not offending anybody........

A mystery to me then.

How have my two sons now each grown up to have very successful careers in competitive fields.

I must have been the yoghurt knitting classes!

 

[Deleted member 23270]

A mystery to me then.

How have my two sons now each grown up to have very successful careers in competitive fields.

I must have been the yoghurt knitting classes!

Maybe because you raised them before all this 'non competitive' stuff became the fad?

 

[Deleted member 18588]

Maybe because you raised them before all this 'non competitive' stuff became the fad?

Well that fad, as you call it, came in during the 70's I.e. before they were born.

My wife and i raised them to understand that,whether in sport or education, if they gave it their best no one could fault them.

Competition is fine, winning is everything is wrong.

 

[Rooter]

My wife and i raised them to understand that,whether in sport or education, if they gave it their best no one could fault them.

Competition is fine, winning is everything is wrong.

Yeh im in your court here, do your best. if you win, great. If you lose, you are not getting any tea.

Simple!

The last bit was a joke BTW before anyone jumps on me! I take their Xbox away instead!

 

[Deleted member 23270]

Well that fad, as you call it, came in during the 70's I.e. before they were born.

My wife and i raised them to understand that,whether in sport or education, if they gave it their best no one could fault them.

Competition is fine, winning is everything is wrong.

I never said winning is everything. All I said is there is nothing wrong with competition. Where do you think we will end up without competition in life? As a nation, we will be walked over by everyone else and we will be at the bottom of the pond.

 

[User20205]

I’m all for winning but kids sport has to be inclusive also otherwise the later developers don’t get a look in. Otherwise you just give it to the big kids to score all the trys, goals etc
That said the most important lesson sport can teach is how to win & how to lose. Kids need to get that losing is painful, it’s not pleasant but it will happen occasionally in sport/life. If it’s competitive & you care, you make sure it doesn’t happen very often.

I also reckon that the will to win is inate in some & can’t be taught.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

I never said winning is everything. All I said is there is nothing wrong with competition. Where do you think we will end up without competition in life? As a nation, we will be walked over by everyone else and we will be at the bottom of the pond.

And pray tell me where I have suggested that sport should not be competitive.

And as for the myth that the nation's economic survival is somehow dependent upon a competitive attitude in sport I would just ask to what you attribute the success of the many entrepreneurs who, by their own way admission, had no interest in sport.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

This is my point exactly. Life is competitive. If you want to get on then you have to compete in the workplace to get the best jobs or you can be a wallflower at the back of the queue and just accept whatever you are giving. Sport is a good way to learn those competitive skills.

Or we can go down the yoghurt knitting path of not offending anybody........

That’s not reality, life is not that black and white, you could be the most competitive or ideal person for a particular role, but without the right social background or education or parentage you may not even get your foot in the door.
Kids need to be kids and naturally develop, far too much pressure being brought to bare on them to be what society expects.

 

[Deleted member 23270]

And pray tell me where I have suggested that sport should not be competitive.

And as for the myth that the nation's economic survival is somehow dependent upon a competitive attitude in sport I would just ask to what you attribute the success of the many entrepreneurs who, by their own way admission, had no interest in sport.

You don't need to have an interest in sport to be a successful entrepreneur but you do need to be competitive.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

You don't need to have an interest in sport to be a successful entrepreneur but you do need to be competitive.

Agreed but playing children's sports will not implant that if the characteristic is not there.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Guess we will just have to disagree on that one, sounds like you are happy to breed a bunch of losers?

Or perhaps a bunch of happy well balanced children.

BTW......MM's attitude to his sons is spot on.....can you explain how in your opinion they turned out to be losers.

 

[pbrown7582]

Children should be instilled with a desire to win.

There is a difference between desire to win aand win at all costs though

 

[pbrown7582]

Try reading what I posted before commenting. Nothing wrong with kids running about the park and kicking a ball around but that isn't sport, it's exercise. If they are going to sign up for a team, pull on a strip and play against other teams then it becomes sport and it is competitive.

Do you enter your club medals with no intention of trying to do well?

But kids football up to U12 is supposed non competative and developmental.

 

[pbrown7582]

Youngest grandson just had his first season of playing organised footie...
Attended a couple of end of season tournaments as a spectator...
Some of the parental touchline behaviour was frankly, at the very least, embarrassing for the kids...
I put it down to world cup fever...

its nothing to do with the world cup uneducated parents! bet they dont stand at the back of the school class shouting and screaming the kids spelling or maths to them........

 

[Tashyboy]

Right let Tashyboy enter the frame again. Glad the OP mentioned his lads age.
When my lad was 10 he had trials with Nottingham Forest as a goalkeeper. During one game against Norwich. A kid shot and even I could of saved it. Lad thought it was going wide and held his hands up to show he wasn't touching it. Unfortunately it hit the post and went in. He was mortified. I thought he was in for a rounds of rolockings. When he came out of the changing rooms after the game, he and the rest of the lads were laughing there heads off. They had been beat. I asked my lad what was going off. He mentioned they had there debrief and the coach asked what was the funniest thing to happen on the pitch. They mentioned my lad with his goalkeeping howler. The coach agreed and the lesson learned was if in doubt bladder it clear, jump on it, but be positive. It was a lesson learned by all through laughing but being embarrassed. I just did not understand it, why not give the kid a bollockin.
I mentioned this to my lads goalie coach during the following week. He said that kids handle pressure differently. Part of a kids progress is not just his technical skills, but an ability to handle pressure. If said kid was 16 yr old he would of had a round of rolockings as he is older and expected to handle it.
For folk to suggest a kid at 10, if he cannot handle pressure he should pack in, is the words of a village idiot.

 

[Tashyboy]

its nothing to do with the world cup uneducated parents! bet they dont stand at the back of the school class shouting and screaming the kids spelling or maths to them........

You have not met Missis T 😁

 

[Piece]

As an FA qualified coach, I run a junior football team at a very similar age to the OP. Some of the attitudes I read on this thread at part of the problem and ones that hear a lot from the opposition team and parents, because they don’t understand football and how to develop players.

Our club find other teams are far more competitive and desperate to win. Some of the opposition coaches take what they think they know from their life experience, their knowledge of parks football or what they’ve seen on TV. Nothing worse than a parent who think they know what’s best and how to coach. It’s comedy, to be honest. If you are that passionate about doing what’s best for yours or other kids, get qualified and learn the right way. Even then don’t become the bad coach I’ve just described

We focus on a balance between enjoyment, confidence, self responsibility and encouragement. Given a clear direction and instructions, the kids learnt how to win without unnecessary pressure. And they play better football.

 

[Tashyboy]

As an FA qualified coach, I run a junior football team at a very similar age to the OP. Some of the attitudes I read on this thread at part of the problem and ones that hear a lot from the opposition team and parents, because they don’t understand football and how to develop players.

Our club find other teams are far more competitive and desperate to win. Some of the opposition coaches take what they think they know from their life experience, their knowledge of parks football or what they’ve seen on TV. Nothing worse than a parent who think they know what’s best and how to coach. It’s comedy, to be honest. If you are that passionate about doing what’s best for yours or other kids, get qualified and learn the right way. Even then don’t become the bad coach I’ve just described

We focus on a balance between enjoyment, confidence, self responsibility and encouragement. Given a clear direction and instructions, the kids learnt how to win without unnecessary pressure. And they play better football.

Well said piece.