D
Deleted member 16999
Guest
Agreed Tash and your post mate :thup:
Pressure on kids in sports
- Thread starter Mudball
- Start date
Mudball
Assistant Pro
Kudos to you Piece... well done on the FA quals.
Our teams are run by Parents who have all gone on for/preparing for FA. It is a great effort & investment from them. As I mentioned, we are not a shouty-shouty team setup. But it is amazing how we have turned up this year. Last year was the first year for the team together and some of the parents taking their FA. We did not win much, but the coaches focussed on important things like playing together, holding shape, passing etc. We had teams which have scored on the first kick from the centreline while we stood 5-10 yards away. Too much noise by opposition coaches who want to win at every count.
This year, the kids have a much stronger sense of teamwork and we have gone on to win tournaments or come close second. Where we have lost, we have recovered and come back fighting the next week. The coaches take time to discuss what the kids are doing well. It is still not a killer 'win at all cost' attitude. We still play the full squad. I would not change a thing with the setup we have. I am sure it is not for all parents, esp those who are targetting academies.
If I could change somehting, I would ban parents from tournaments/matches...
On a similar note, I feel sorry for the young kids training to be Refs. They dont get all their decisions right, but 15 yrs olds should not be subjected to verbal abuse on the pitch from 40 yr old parents whose 10yr old has just been denied a throw in. Sets the right role model for their kids.
pbrown7582
Money List Winner
Having done quite a few of the FA courses myself after watching football for 30 odd years there is such a huge difference between watching MOTD and coaching 8 year olds I think it should be mandatory to go on a L1 course before being let loose with the children
Piece
Tour Winner
We make the specific request that parents stay behind the FA Respect barrier on the OPPOSITE side to the pitches to us. Our parents are bought in to our way, and encourage the children and let the coaches coach. Unfortunately we can't control what the opposition does!
Absolutely. The kids' attitude and way of playing is directly attributable to attitude of the coaches and parents. Coaches/parents that are angry, aggressive, critical, etc. breed a team with the same qualities. This is where the pressure comes from. Teams bred this way very rarely play the best football. Sure they are aggressive and organised, but can't knock it around like we do because they are just that little bit afraid of making a mistake and getting a telling off DURING the game from the coaches and parents. Telling boys of 8 to "man up" and "win at all costs" just isn't right, installs fear and is bad parenting, let alone coaching.
Dibby
Assistant Pro
think the amount of competitiveness needed is overestimated by many. Sure you cannot just sit back for the ride, but you can not follow the win at all costs path either. People also forget that for the most part, real life is not a zero-sum game.
The best business deals are usually when all parties win, because they are sustainable, unfortunately, the media seems to push the Donald Trump-style deal where he considers it a win if the other party loses. This somewhat works for him, because usually he is the dominant party in deals both personally due to being the son of a multimillionaire or politically due to being the leader of one of the worlds most powerful nation, but it's not usually sustainable in the long term.
This coming from someone who was a nationally and internationally competitive athlete and coach.
D
Deleted member 23270
Guest
Nobody is advocating a win at all costs attitude and yes a win/win situation is always best. But why should we shy away from instilling a competitive attitude into young people? (note I said young people not children) My daughter has been very successful in a highly competitive industry (fashion photographer). She is no 'killer' but she knows when she has to push to get something she wants and it hasn't done her any harm. She is a well balanced young woman.
I also agree with the 'pushy parents' comments regarding kids football, that sort of behaviour oversteps the line. Try your best, compete to win but don't lose your sense of perspective.
This coming from someone who has competed at county level at 3 different sports.
D
Deleted member 16999
Guest
Win/win is no good in sport, it’s either win/lose or draw!
Being competitive and being succesful don’t always go hand in hand.
Nice to see the comments toned down from breeding a bunch of losers!
londonlewis
Tour Rookie
As an FA qualified coach, I run a junior football team at a very similar age to the OP. Some of the attitudes I read on this thread at part of the problem and ones that hear a lot from the opposition team and parents, because they don’t understand football and how to develop players.
Our club find other teams are far more competitive and desperate to win. Some of the opposition coaches take what they think they know from their life experience, their knowledge of parks football or what they’ve seen on TV. Nothing worse than a parent who think they know what’s best and how to coach. It’s comedy, to be honest. If you are that passionate about doing what’s best for yours or other kids, get qualified and learn the right way. Even then don’t become the bad coach I’ve just described
We focus on a balance between enjoyment, confidence, self responsibility and encouragement. Given a clear direction and instructions, the kids learnt how to win without unnecessary pressure. And they play better football.
Spot on.
D
Deleted member 23270
Guest
The win/win bit was referring to business as per the post I was replying to.
Agreed on your 2nd point but someone who is competitive is more likely to be a winner.
3rd point......let the namby pamby's take over and we will breed a bunch of losers :ears:
D
Deleted member 16999
Guest
1st point you took the thread from sport to businessThe win/win bit was referring to business as per the post I was replying to.
Agreed on your 2nd point but someone who is competitive is more likely to be a winner.
3rd point......let the namby pamby's take over and we will breed a bunch of losers :ears:
2nd point, I’d say the better prepared, motivated and focussed is more likely to win than the highly competitive without those traits.
3rd point, I’d rather have a bit of both extremes with the ideal in the middle, not always black or white :thup:
D
Deleted member 23270
Guest
1st point you took the thread from sport to business
2nd point, I’d say the better prepared, motivated and focussed is more likely to win than the highly competitive without those traits.
3rd point, I’d rather have a bit of both extremes with the ideal in the middle, not always black or white :thup:
1st point.....see post #45
2nd point.....I would say that being prepared, motivated and focused are integral parts of being competitive. Why would you prepare, motivate yourself and focus if you don't care what the outcome is?
3rd point......me too. I'm not advocating extremes. I'm just saying that teaching kids to be competitive in sport is not a bad thing.
Mudball
Assistant Pro
IMO,.. we all mean good, but this is played out very differently in the real world of kids sports. A quick visit to Sunday footy matches will prove that. We want to teach them to be competitive, but we are doing that by kicking & screaming at them as well as the opposition and the officials.
D
Deleted member 23270
Guest
I don't really have much experience of that but from reading the posts in this thread it would appear the fault lies very much with the parents. Moderation is the key :thup:
